Halversham (11 page)

“There’s a great deal more you have to apologize for, but that’ll do for now.”

Corrine walked across the room and plopped down on one of the bean bags. “Where were you yesterday?”

“I hung out with Jared Doyne.”

“So you’ve got a new buddy in town,” she said, smiling.

“I told you I’m perfectly capable of it.” Andy sat on the leather-backed chair, contemplating whether he should bring up the subject of her pregnancy. Ideally, he’d like Corrine to tell him about it herself, but now that he knew, it didn’t make any sense to pretend otherwise.

“So, you don’t have a girlfriend, huh?” she asked.

Andy smiled and shook his head. “No.”

“Why? You’re not good enough for the city girls?” she said, emphasizing the last two words. Andy smiled and dropped his head. “Or is it the other way around?”

“Neither. I told you it’s a choice.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot.” Corrine crossed her legs and then added, “You’re not gay, are you? I mean, I’m cool if you are.”

“I’m not gay, Corrine.” Andy rose and went to the window. Corrine did the same and together they stared at the lawn outside. Mort was working somewhere they couldn’t see, and the soft summer breeze caressed their skin. Andy was enjoying the moment when a pair of skinny arms reached out from behind and encircled his body. Startled, he turned around to find Corrine puckering her lips, ready to kiss him. He kept his hands away from her, but she ran her fingers along his chest and tugged at his collar. One quick motion, and she was kissing his mouth.

“Stop,” he said, breaking free when her tongue attempted to part his lips. “What are you doing?”

“What’s wrong?” Corrine searched his eyes. “You don’t like it?”

“No! You’re my cousin.” He stepped away from the window, leaving plenty of space between them.

“So?”

“So it’s wrong.”

She shook her head, incredulous. “Are you serious? Who’s going to find out?”

“I’m not like that, Corrine.”

“You’re a virgin? Is that it?”

“What? Gosh! Corrine, I’d really like to help you, but you’re just so… difficult sometimes.”

“Yeah, well, you’re not the first person to say it, Andy. Go ahead and call me crazy. You don’t have to hesitate.”

“Corrine, look. I don’t think you’re crazy. I know about the pregnancy. Your pregnancy.”

It was not at all how he wanted to bring it up, but she was getting all worked up and it was the only thing he could think of to distract her. She shook her head and looked away for a minute before sitting on his bed.

“My mom didn’t spare a single detail about me, did she? And yet when I asked you what else she told you, you said nothing.” Her voice was low.

“It wasn’t your mom.” Corrine’s eyes darted questioningly toward his face and he sighed. “Jared,” he admitted finally. Corrine shook her head again and Andy sat beside her. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” She shifted to give him space. “Did Jared also tell you he was crazy in love with me? Still is, probably.”

“No.”

“Yeah, he was. Despite everything people said about me. Despite my unwanted pregnancy. Can you believe that?”

“So he wasn’t the father.”

Corrine laughed. “Of course not.”

“What did you tell him?”

Corrine jutted her lower lip and shrugged. “That I wasn’t interested.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know why, Andy.” Her voice was sharp and her eyes cut into him as she rose from the bed to face him. “Maybe because I was waiting for you. Maybe because I was convinced that despite what others thought of me, you’d always have my back. Maybe because I was in love with you.” Her words came out like bullets, exploding one after the other, hitting his chest until his lungs collapsed and he couldn’t breathe.

“Corrine, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

Corrine smiled sadly and sighed. “I know exactly what I’m saying, Andy.” She took his hands and gazed into his eyes. “You and I could run away and be happy together. We’ll make a great team. You have no idea, but I’m good at cooking and cleaning and stuff. God, I can’t wait to get out of this town. It’s suffocating me.” Her voice quivered and tears rolled down her cheeks as Andy watched.

“I can imagine how terrible it must be for you, Corrine. Living life the way you do. But I’m not your ticket to skip town.”

“You don’t understand. I love you. I’ve always loved you.” Her eyes were pleading.

“I’m sorry. I’m not…” Andy hesitated. “I’m not in love with you.”

“You’re lying! Maybe you forgot because you haven’t been here for a while, but you and I used to talk and share secrets we never shared with anyone else. I know you feel sick every time your father leaves on another one of his business trips. And I know you love Halversham as much as your mom did.”

Andy stood still and racked his brain for some recollection of Corrine’s version of the past. Were they as close as she’d made it seem, or were her memories warped? She was searching his eyes, but he didn’t say anything for a long time. If he said the wrong thing, it might upset her.

“That may be, but I’m not in love with you now.” Corrine dropped her head and her shoulders shook. Andy didn’t know what to do, so he stood awkwardly, watching. Seconds later, he put an arm around her shoulders and directed her back to bed. She sniffled and wiped away tears. He knelt on the floor and looked at her face. “Look, Corrine, someday you’ll find someone who will love you just the way you are, despite what everyone says about you. And you will be happy with him. There’s no pressure for that to happen right now.”

Corrine sniffled again and looked at him. Andy wiped her tears and she smiled. “It’s okay, Andy. I know you’re not a bad guy. You don’t love me. It’s just my dumb luck that I’m surrounded by losers and evil people.”

“What do you mean?”

She shook her head. “You wouldn’t understand if I told you.”

“Why don’t you try me?”

“No. Not yet. I’ll tell you when I think you’re ready to believe me.”

Andy took a deep breath. “What happened to your baby?” he asked.

She shook her head, her gaze darting out the window. “I was seven weeks when I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t want to abort the baby. I mean, it wasn’t the kid’s fault, you know? Plus I didn’t have the money for an abortion. So I decided to keep it. But one day, I was at the county fair and I started having terrible cramps. A few townspeople helped me sit down, but then I started bleeding. Like real heavy shit. The folks got scared and sent me to the hospital.” Corrine paused to stare at her fingers. “They couldn’t save the baby and I was sent home. News traveled, and soon everyone knew I had been pregnant.” She closed her eyes and a tear rolled down her cheek. “It was my mom. She killed my baby.”

“What are you talking about?”

“She did it, Andy. She was upset when I told her I was pregnant. Then she made me drink this horrible tea and parsley drink several times a day. She said it’d help make the baby strong, but it was only a few days later that I lost the baby.”

Andy remained silent. The drinks Aunt Magda made for her probably had nothing to do with the miscarriage, but then, Corrine would believe anything that made her mother seem like the devil.

“When did all this happen?”

“Three years ago.”

“Is that why you dropped out of school?” Corrine nodded. “And where was the father when you miscarried?”

Again, Corrine dropped her gaze and sighed. “I don’t know.”

“Who was the father?”

“I’ve already said too much. I think I’m going to go back to my secret place now and rest.”

“Corrine, wait. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings. I didn’t mean to.” He was afraid he’d messed up and now she’d lock him out of her life forever. “I’m just trying to help.”

“I know. Don’t worry about it.” Her eyes had lost their sparkle and her expression was glum. “I’ll let myself out, Andy. Bye.”

Andy rose and followed her to the door. Her skinny frame was silhouetted in the doorway and she looked sickly.

“Corrine, why don’t you have lunch here from now on? I mean, Piffy cooks, and since you don’t mind her cooking, you can just eat here. You won’t have to hunt and cook in that secret place of yours.”

Corrine shrugged. Her eyes were dull, and she didn’t seem particularly pleased by the promise of regular meals. “I’ll think about it,” she said and left.

It was half past three when Andy sat on his bed, overcome by exhaustion. He lay on the mattress and wondered how on earth Corrine had arrived at the conclusion that her mother had caused the death of her unborn child. It was no wonder she hated her mother as much as she did. But on the whole, this was good. With every conversation, she opened up a little more. Now that he knew what the problem was, Andy was certain he could reason with her the next time.

Andy’s eyelids closed and he only woke up when the phone in his pocket vibrated incessantly. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and answered the call from an unknown number.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Andy?”

“Yeah.”

“Hey man, it’s Chuck. From Dorrie’s?”

“Oh, yeah. What’s up?”

“Remember the job you wanted? With old man Milton?”

“Yup.”

“It’s yours. But Milton’s daughter Millie wants to see you first.”

“Sure. When? Where?”

“Tomorrow. Eleven. Her place.”

Andy got a piece of paper and wrote down the address, paying close attention to the directions.

“Okay. I’ll see her tomorrow. Thanks, Chuck.”

“No problem, man. Good luck.”

Andy had slept a long time. In the kitchen, Piffy was talking to someone on the phone while a tray of muffins sat cooling on the counter. She motioned for Andy to help himself and he grabbed one on his way out to the garden. The rose bushes had been trimmed, and the pile of grass they’d weeded earlier was gone. So was Mort. He made a mental note to help Mort clear the fir trees in the morning before he headed out to meet Millie.

“Would you like me to fix dinner?” Piffy asked, having said goodbye to whoever was on the phone. It was five o’clock.

“That’s okay. I changed my mind. You can leave for the day if you want to. I’ll have dinner at Aunt Magda’s.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” she said and left a few minutes later.

Andy went back to his room, turned on the computer, and Googled some vacation destinations. An hour and a half later, he was excited about Greece. He pulled out a pen and paper from his backpack and made a list of possible places to visit, the first on the list being Crete. He turned off the computer, took a shower, then put on a pair of Bermuda shorts and his favorite
Game of Thrones
t-shirt, with Tyrion Lannister’s face on it.

An hour later, he was in Aunt Magda’s kitchen, feasting on a plate of rice and beef. When he had finished every grain of rice, he brought the plate to the sink and washed it while Aunt Magda kneaded some dough.

“You have orders for tomorrow morning, Aunt Magda?”

“Yes. And I’ll need your help to deliver them.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I can’t tomorrow. I promised Mort I’d help him fell some rotting firs in the garden. And after that, I have an appointment with Millie, Mr. Milton’s daughter.”

“Really?” Aunt Magda paused and looked at him quizzically. “Why?”

“I agreed to help him around the house.”

“Oh, sweet Lord. You’re taking the job.” Her voice was close to a whisper.

“I did. Listen, if he becomes intolerable or abusive, I’ll quit. I promise. Don’t worry about me, okay? I just need something more to do while I’m here.”

“I guess you know what you’re doing.”

“Corrine came by today,” he said to change the subject.

“Oh?” Aunt Magda said, her eyes curious. “Did she say anything? Anything at all?”

“Yes.” Andy swallowed hard and blinked. “I know she got pregnant three years ago.”

Aunt Magda’s face turned ashen. For a minute he was afraid she’d collapse, so he pulled out a chair and made her sit as her face crumpled. “It’s okay. You don’t have to be ashamed of what happened.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I was so…”

“That’s okay.”

“You know, sometimes I feel like I did a terrible job with Corrine. She’s the only child God gave us, but I’ve completely ruined her.”

“Aunt Magda, it’s not your fault. You did your best with Corrine under the circumstances, and no one would ever say otherwise.”

“Did she tell you everything about the pregnancy?

Should he ask his aunt if she caused Corrine’s miscarriage? It seemed ridiculous. Plus, the last thing he wanted to do was distress the poor woman further.

“She told me about the miscarriage, but I don’t know who got her pregnant,” he said finally. Aunt Magda closed her eyes and a lone tear trickled down her face. “Do you?”

She wiped her eyes and shook her head. “I’m worried she is beyond help, Andy. The troubles she gets herself into...”

“Shh… Don’t say that. She’s already opening up about a lot of things. I’m sure she’s changing for the better every time she talks about them. Give her some time.”