Handle Me with Care (10 page)

He shut his eyes at the first mouthful, couldn’t speak on the second, but managed a few words after the third. ‘I still remember coming home from school on cold winter days, and you’d pull out a syrup sponge from the pan on top of the stove, cover it in extra sauce and finish each serving with a great big dollop of vanilla ice cream.’

When he finished, even though they were alone, Jem lowered her voice and said, ‘Go on, I won’t tell.’

He picked up the bowl and used his tongue to lick anything leftover. When he resurfaced he saw the sparkle in Jem’s eyes and they both dissolved into fits of giggles.

‘Mum always hated that you let me do that,’ he said.

‘I don’t care. I wanted to see my grandson happy today.’ The coolness of her hand met with his cheek, and he inhaled the familiar Lily soap she had used since he was a kid.

‘I thought the cancer was bad enough, Jem. I thought having an operation and chemotherapy would be the worst thing that could happen to me, but it’s not. It’s the uncertainty of the future.’ His voice wavered. ‘I’m scared that the cancer will be my last journey, Jem. I’m scared I won’t get all the normal things in life that I’ve always taken for granted.’

‘As I said before, don’t let it dictate the future. The doctors sound positive, so for God’s sake stay positive yourself. Thank goodness I’ve never known cancer, but from what I’ve heard, you have to choose to fight it.’

Her firmness of voice took him back to his school days when he would sit in this very kitchen, dangling his legs from a chair as they chatted about what he’d been up to that day.

Jem picked up the knife and it hovered over the syrup sponge. ‘Now, would you like seconds?’

‘Do you even have to ask?’

‘So tell me, how was the date with the lovely Maddie?’ Jem placed a second generous slice in front of him and ladled it with extra warm syrup.

‘I bet you’ve been dying to ask me that.’ He chuckled.

‘I’m nobody’s fool, Evan. You think you can distract me with your big health scare, but you can’t.’

‘It was worth a shot though, eh?’ He smiled and stretched his legs out beneath the table. ‘She’s fantastic.’

Jem adjusted a small brown clip that held one side of her hair away from her face. ‘It was incredibly honest of you to tell her about the cancer.’

‘Honest? Don’t you mean stupid? I told her I need time to get my own head around everything that’s going on. I think she thought I was just fobbing her off.’

‘I’ll bet she doesn’t. And time to think, for both of you, isn’t necessarily a bad thing.’

‘Well, if a girl told me she needed time, I would take it as code for don’t-expect-me-to-call-you-anytime-soon.’

‘I don’t know. You youngsters and your mind games.’

‘It’s too much to expect of her.’

‘Don’t give up on her. If you like her as much as I suspect you do, it’ll be worth the difficulties now, you mark my words. And if she’s half the girl I think she is, she won’t be scared off easily.’

He plunged both empty plates into the sink full of hot, soapy water, and poured them both a cup of tea.

‘I saw a lot of hurt and sadness in her eyes, Jem, when I told her. We’re both so new to each other that I don’t know anything about her past. I don’t know what effect the word
cancer
had on her. How can I expect a girl who I know nothing about, and who knows nothing about me, to see me through this journey. I’m about to have my bloody ba—’ He stopped his rant. ‘Let’s just say I’m not going to feel like boyfriend material for a while.’

‘I think you’ll always be more of a man than you know, Evan.’

‘You’re biased. But cancer, or even the possibility of cancer, is the sort of journey people face when they’re properly together: married for years and years, or at least a hell of a lot closer to a relationship than one date.’

Jem set her tea cup back on to its saucer. ‘Evan, they say cancer doesn’t discriminate. It happens to anyone at any stage of their life. Don’t try to fit it into some ideal box, some ideal way it should be, like one of your lessons at school that start from one place and end up in another. Be prepared for the unexpected and for things to unfold.’

What he didn’t tell Jem was that he wasn’t scared Maddie wouldn’t stick by him; he was more scared that she would. And pity, or even overwhelming sympathy, wasn’t what any real man wanted, least of all him.

Chapter Thirteen

Maddie scooped the last dollop of creamy mixture into the cake tin and pushed it into the oven, and before long the smell of baking filled the apartment. Wearing the worn cherry-red oven mitts her sister bought her from Covent Garden last Christmas, she took out two identical sponge cakes and set them on top of the cooker. The cake tester came out satisfactorily clean from the centre of both cakes, so it was all systems go.

Maddie waited until the cakes naturally drew away from the edges of the tins as they cooled, and then turned them out so they could cool sufficiently for decorating. Today she was making a cake for Joel, Ally’s boyfriend, who was hosting his birthday bash. She wiped down the kitchen surfaces and sat and read a book for a while until the intercom signalled Ally’s arrival.

‘Your neighbours must love you,’ said Ally as she breezed through the door. ‘The smell hits you the second you step out of the lift.’

‘Let’s hope the cakes taste as good as they smell,’ said Maddie, hugging her friend.

When her mum, dad and sister complained that her baking was making their waistlines expand too much, Maddie had started baking for friends, neighbours, colleagues. Like running and pounding the streets gave her an escape from normality, so did baking. She’d focus on the recipe, sort through ingredients, work out an intricate design, all the while getting further away from real life.

Ally helped herself to a glass of juice from the fridge and plonked herself down on a stool at the kitchen bench as they chatted. She didn’t take long to work out that Maddie wasn’t quite herself that day.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ Ally asked.

‘No, thanks.’ Smiling, Maddie pottered around the lounge, tidying away a couple of magazines, the cake decorating books she’d flicked through. Evan had left her in a puddle of confusion for the last few days, and she didn’t really know how to explain it to herself, let alone anyone else.

When it was time to decorate the cakes, Maddie set them on the bench top at the end farthest away from Ally.

‘Oh relax, I won’t pick at them.’

‘I don’t trust you. “Just a little taste.”’ She mimicked Ally’s voice. ‘“You won’t notice once the icing is covering it.”’

‘That does sound an awful lot like me. So are we still making the French Maid cake?’

‘We sure are. And before you say anything, I don’t even want to ask
why
this cake would be such a hit with the boys, because all I keep picturing is you, dressed in a little pinny and fishnet stockings.’

‘There’s nothing wrong with a bit of imagination in the bedroom.’ 

‘I’m just glad you found me a simple picture from a magazine and didn’t give me a photograph.’ Maddie glanced over her shoulder at the clock hanging above the cooker. ‘What time’s the party?’

‘Not until four o’clock, so plenty of time to get your glad rags on. Some of the boys will get there for early afternoon to reserve a good barbecue along the Yarra.’

‘It looks as though we got a good day for it.’ The sight of clouds that looked like churned white candyfloss drifting steadily across the palest of skies beyond the balcony doors told Maddie all she needed to know, and the welcome autumn breeze kept the kitchen at the right temperature as she worked.

The venue for this afternoon’s party just happened to be one of Maddie’s favourite places too. Down beside the Yarra River, she loved to hear the sound of the water rushing so freely beneath the boats as they slid across the surface, the sounds of the blades chopping the water before gliding back across. When she walked to work, she often paused on the bridge that straddled the Yarra, remembering how she had watched Riley row in the men’s eight as it passed beneath, water swirling in its wake.

‘It’ll do you good to get out today,’ said Ally.

Maddie rummaged for the appropriate piping nozzle in a kitchen drawer. ‘I’m looking forward to it.’ She plonked all the implements on to the stone bench top.

‘Do you think Evan will call you again?’

Maddie had told Ally all about the encounter at work when Jem came in as a patient. ‘I don’t think so. I don’t think he knows what he wants, and maybe when it’s all over he’ll lose interest in me anyway.’

‘What makes you say that?’

‘Maybe he just told me because he wanted some comfort, someone to turn to. Once it’s all over with, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s out trying to pick up any woman. I’m nothing special, Ally, even I can see that.’

Maddie swore when she knocked the cake knife on to the floor. She used both hands to tighten her ponytail, pulled it so hard it almost hurt, and then bent down to pick up the knife.

‘Besides,’ Maddie continued, ‘if I’m struggling to get my head around what he has going on, then I’m sure Evan must be in a worse state. I’d say this is no way to start a relationship.’

‘It’s no way to end one, either,’ Ally muttered, but not so quietly that Maddie didn’t hear.

She rinsed the knife and laid out the pre-cut sections of baking paper that, when put together, would give the curvy outline of a French Maid. She laid one on top of the first rectangular cake and cut around the curves of what would become the breasts and along the bottom to give the short apron a frilly edge. From the other block of sponge, she cut two smaller rectangles using the paper outlines and positioned them on the cake board which, when sandwiched with the other shape, would represent the legs.

Maddie combined the wet ingredients for the fondant icing and added those to the icing sugar in the mixer. Using a dough hook, the fondant icing was formed into a smooth ball which she separated and added the appropriate food colouring to before rolling out to form each part of the design.

As Maddie worked, the saucy French Maid gradually took shape. A steady hand and a hushed silence allowed her to mix more icing and pipe on the frills of the skirt, the outline of the white apron and the intricate criss-cross pattern of the fishnet tights.

Ally came to the other side of the bench and put an arm around her friend’s shoulders. ‘It’s brilliant. Joel is going to be stoked.’ She lingered for a moment and then, pressing both palms together in prayer position, said, ‘
Now
do I get to lick the bowl?’

‘You’re such a big kid!’ Maddie handed her a teaspoon, grabbed one for herself, and for the next couple of minutes all that could be heard was the clinking of spoons as they fought to get every last trace of mixture stuck to the bowl.

Ally disappeared at lunchtime and came back a couple of hours later into the apartment that still smelt sweet from the baking. She looked like a 1950’s starlet. ‘What do you think?’ Her scarlet strappy dress with black trim twirled with her, and her blonde hair hung loose.

‘You look amazing,’ said Maddie, ‘but I thought this was a casual barbecue on the Yarra.’

‘It is. But it’s also Joel’s special day, and since I returned to student land, I never get to dress up. I’m damn well gonna make the most of my opportunity.’

‘I wish you were staying over tonight,’ said Maddie as Ally followed her down to her bedroom. She may not have been very forthcoming about her feelings for Evan, but she knew that post-barbecue, and with a few drinks inside of her, she would be ready to talk late into the night.

Ally winked as she sat on the lilac bedspread in the room Maddie had painted white with the slightest hint of rose petal. ‘Sorry, boyfriend’s birthday trumps best friend’s need for company tonight.’

‘That’s a fair point.’ Maddie sifted through her wardrobe, scrunching her nose up at various options.

‘Here, let me.’ Ally took over the wardrobe inspection and within seconds had pulled out a black cotton dress with a halter-neck and white edging. ‘This is perfect. Try it on. It’s a gorgeous day, and it’s thicker cotton so you’ll be warm enough. You can team it with that little black Alannah Hill
cardigan,’ she said, pulling said item from the back of the wardrobe. ‘You’ll look fabulous, trust me.’

While Ally pouted in front of the mirror and checked her lipstick in the same shade as her dress, Maddie took a shower. It was ages since they had been out, and she was looking forward to spending the day with Ally, her boyfriend and some of his friends. Sometimes it was easier to be in the company of strangers who knew nothing about you.

Thirty minutes later Maddie pulled on her dress, smoothed it down across her tummy and hips and stood next to Ally as they both looked in the mirror.

‘Joel’s a lucky guy,’ said Maddie.

Ally gave her a cheeky nudge. ‘He’ll be even luckier later; I’ve got a French Maid’s outfit in my bag.’

‘You have not!’

‘I have too!’

Maddie swished her hands in front of her. ‘Okay, okay, no more sharing.’

Ally hugged her friend tight. ‘The world can be a crappy place, Maddie. But it can also be a beautiful one. Let’s have a great time this afternoon, eh? Get sloshed, forget all about Evan.’

After much giggling and spritzing of perfumes as well as topping up of make-up, Maddie grabbed the cake and they headed out of the apartment, emerging on to St Kilda Road to wait for the tram. Maddie had fallen in love with this iconic grand boulevard in Melbourne and snapped up her apartment almost the moment it came on the market. Trams hooked on to cables in the centre of the road trundled passengers from city to suburbs and the beach; majestic plane trees lined the median strips and turned a rich spinach colour in the lights from traffic and streetlamps overhead. St Kilda Road was home to the National Gallery of Victoria too, as well as the Arts Centre and the markets that lined footpaths on Sundays. Green spaces of the Royal Botanic Gardens and the Domain Parklands close by created an incredible juxtaposition to the mayhem of city life.

Outside Federation Square they followed the steps down to the river, passed by the rowing sheds and made their way along the line of barbecues until Joel called out their names.

Joel immediately tried to take a peek at what lay beneath the lid of the cardboard box in Maddie’s arms.

‘Not so fast!’ Ally moved his hand away. ‘It’s a surprise, so no unveiling until I give the nod, okay Maddie?’

‘Right you are, boss.’

Joel and his mates seemed to have everything organised, with trestle tables set up for food and drinks, eskies full of ice from which the tops of unopened champagne bottles poked out as well as cans and bottles of beer. Packages of meat sat beside the barbecue, raring to go.

Maddie stowed the cake away from the heat of the barbecue, a glass of champagne was thrust into her hand as introductions were made, and sun endorphins, alcohol and peals of laughter worked their magic. For now, she felt glad of the chattering crowd, grateful of the escape.

Her champagne almost went flying when someone behind her jogged her arm.

‘Sorry,’ said the guy. He held out a hand. ‘I don’t think we’ve been introduced. I’m Josh.’

‘Hi, I’m Maddie.’ She returned his gesture with her dry hand, then swapped the glass and shook off the drips from the other.

‘Here, let me get you a refill.’ Josh whisked the glass away and was back within seconds. ‘Plenty more where that came from, don’t worry. Thank you for the cake by the way, I haven’t seen it yet, but rest assured that none of us would have a hope of making anything edible between us – our culinary competence extends as far as the barbecue and that’s about it.’

On the banks of the Yarra, Maddie and Josh chatted about work, hobbies – all the usual small talk made when you first met someone. Usually, Maddie measured each man she met against Riley, but not this time, and it caught her off guard. She found herself comparing Josh to Evan: Josh was shorter, he was toned yet not as muscly and he had dead-straight, dirty-blond hair. Evan’s voice was strong, yet gentle at the same time, caressing her ears when he spoke. Josh was a real Aussie bloke – not that there was anything wrong with him; he just wasn’t Evan.

The afternoon flew by, and before long a chinking noise rose above their voices and all faces turned towards Ally. She made a toast to Joel before the grand unveiling of the cake, and the French Maid met with a unanimous roar of enthusiasm as Maddie stepped forwards to do the honours and serve it on to paper plates.

At the end of the afternoon, champagne corks, empty bottles and plastic plates were shoved into bin bags as the group cleared the barbecue area.

‘Let me take that.’ Josh took the cardboard cake box from Maddie’s hands as she looked around for a recycling bin. ‘I can’t believe we ate the entire cake.’

‘I thought it was huge when I made it, but with twenty partiers drinking alcohol, it never really stood a chance.’ Bin liner in hand, Maddie threw out the remaining disposable champagne flutes as Joel and a mate folded down the trestle table and carried it towards the direction of a parked car. She wondered who the poor designated driver was today; she was glad it wasn’t her and that she had been able to kick back and enjoy herself.

When Josh had emptied the esky upside down to drain it of any remaining ice cubes and the water created from those that had melted, he said, ‘I don’t know about you, but I could use a walk to work off some of that food.’

Maddie looked at him. ‘That sounds like a great idea.’

They set off along the river and Maddie knew she was swaying from the champagne, made worse with the combination of the sun that had only just started to turn a rich orange hue as it fell slowly in the sky, preparing for dusk. Josh was good company today, and she knew he was interested in her – a brush of her arm here; a nudge there; a look that left her in no doubt. Maddie was flattered and she found herself longing to be held tightly, into the night, to be so close to someone that she couldn’t breathe in the thoughts of her own life. Sometimes her head was so full of Riley, Caitlin, and now Evan, that she felt like a snow globe that had been turned upside down and shaken, her feelings scattering all over the place.