Hang In There Bozo (3 page)

These work well in an ocean and are especially useful in rough water since they are tough little suckers and won't budge for anything… well, not unless you have the special deactivation removal device. They are disguised to look like some strange kind of sea mollusc so, unless you are familiar with limpet lights, you won't realise they are actually alien to the seabed.

So limpet lights are pretty smart, but for my money I think ground glows are smarter still.

GROUND GLOWS

To be used when trekking at night in uncertain terrain. Help the trekker retrace his/her steps, or a specified ally to follow the same route. Made up of two parts: pebble-like glow light and discreet shoe fix activator. Instructions: attach activator to footwear and drop pebble glows as you walk. Pebbles will only light when in range of the activator. Multiple activators can be issued.

WARNING:
AFTER HEAVY RAINFALL THEY CAN BE ERRATIC AND UNRELIABLE.

These are clever little illuminators because they have the advantage of only being useful to the user. They are very discreet and very handy if you want an agent to follow your trail at a later time without tipping off an enemy tracker. They have aided the rescue of more than a few Spectrum agents over the years.

GETAWAY SHOES

Depress green button on base of left shoe to convert to ‘roller shoes'.

If you think these are like those lame wheelie shoes this kid at my school has then you have no idea what kind of outfit Spectrum is.

 

Depress red button on base of right shoe to activate power jets. Maximum speed ninety-one miles per hour for a distance of seven miles approx. Warning! Can cause feet to overheat. Avoid use on rugged terrain.

I've tried these and all I can say is they are pretty darn cool even when they overheat.

THE VOICE THROWER

This works in the same way as any distraction device by throwing your target off course. It is a highly sophisticated version of throwing a stone to divert attention away from you.

 

Something in the gadget drawer caught Ruby's eye. It was a silver whistle – looked like a dog whistle but the label was smudged. Maybe it was the ribbon, maybe it was the fact that she had always wanted a silver dog whistle, but Ruby found that she couldn't resist slipping it over her head and looking at her reflection in the glass.

She blew into it – no sound at all. Surely it wasn't just a dog whistle? She blew into it again and again, still nothing. In her frustration she started blowing and inhaling in the way that one might suck air in and out of a harmonica.

‘Must be busted,' said Ruby out loud, but her voice seemed to be coming from far, far away. For a second she was puzzled and then it dawned on her: the whistle was no whistle, it was a voice thrower.

She inhaled again. ‘Hello,' she said. This time her voice sounded as if it was coming from right behind her. She experimented some more – there were four little holes in the whistle, and whichever one her finger covered determined the direction her voice came from – north, east, south or west of her. Point the whistle up – her voice was thrown above her.

It was precisely at the moment she called out the words, ‘I'm over here!' that someone else decided to enter the room.

Ruby quickly ducked down behind the cabinets.

‘Did you hear that?' said a voice she didn't recognise.

Ruby froze.

Oh boy, now I'm in trouble.

 

Now you might think to yourself, a voice thrower, so what? Nice party trick, but how can that be a life-saving gadget? Well buster, it sure as heck saved my life. Take this little situation for example…

You see what I'm saying? A split second can buy you a lotta time. Time to flee the scene or, failing that, get stuck into one mother of a fight. Either way you gain the advantage and in a survival-type situation the advantage is what you are looking for.

These are a few Spectrum gadgets I keep about my person – depending on the situation of course, but let's just say you are stuck, for whatever reason, without any of your trusty life-savers, what then?

 

 

THIS IS WHERE YOUR IMAGINATION COMES INTO ITS OWN. It's when you gotta be resourceful. People have been surviving for thousands of years in harsh environments and tricky predicaments and you can too so long as you make the right decisions.

 

Homo sapiens
is the most adaptable species on the planet, which is why we have risen to the top of the heap and messed things up for most other species. However, if we put this failing aside for a second, we can remember that we truly are survivors by design.

We are survivors because we can…

IMPROVISE.

 

DECIDE TO STAY CALM

Clancy has a tendency to panic when in a possible life-and-death situation, but he has developed a technique to deal with this temporary loss of nerve. It involves a little bit of method acting – in other words, pretending to be someone else: someone braver. It's not a bad trick if all else fails.

How does it work?

Just pick a person you admire: a superhero, a fictional character, or an expert at whatever it is you happen to be encountering. Darn it, a comedian will do if it helps you to see the funny side – just imagine yourself as someone who might be able to deal with whatever it is
you
are having to deal with, and sort of become them, inhabit their mind.

This technique can be used in all sorts of situations: when one is public speaking, taking a test or exam, or about to face one's biggest fear.

 

‘So Clancy, how did you manage to jump that roof? I thought I had lost you there for sure.'

Ruby was impressed. She was also astonished, and above all she was relieved to see her friend all in one piece. If he hadn't jumped, it was unlikely that he would have survived at the hands of the deadly Baby Face Marshall, but if he hadn't jumped far enough, he would have been dead for sure.

‘I just thought to myself, hey, what if I was Ray Max? If I was him, I could jump that roof no trouble.'

Ray Max was a Twinford hero: he was now the best long jumper in the whole state and was no doubt destined to become a world champion. Failure was not in his vocabulary.

Clancy had made it by less than five millimetres: but when jumping a roof, a millimetre or four counts for a lot.

 

So I'm not saying that pretending to be Ray Max will get you jumping a roof safe and sound, no trouble at all – you could end up splat on the sidewalk, of course you could, but what
I am
saying is that you are
more likely
to make that jump if you have the confidence and belief that you will. Belief is a big part of success.

 

WARNING FROM THE PUBLISHER:

don't actually jump off a roof.

THINK SIDEWAYS

By thinking sideways what I mean is looking at the problem from a different angle. Sometimes what
seems
like the natural, obvious or even ONLY solution is not such a great idea.
R
ULE 12
: A
DJUST YOUR THINKING AND YOUR CHANCES IMPROVE
.

Here's an example:

You break down in the desert; you have little in the way of supplies and no one knows where you are. If you stay put, the question is, will anyone find you? Will you slowly die of thirst? Naturally, you want to start moving, to get back to base, to a safe place – why wouldn't you buster? But if you're looking to live, you gotta think again.

Stride off into the desert, and do you even know what direction to head in? Even if you do, how far do you think you're gonna get in this extreme heat, the blistering sun burning down? A few miles maybe, but what good is that when you need to cover a hundred or so to even be halfway home?

No: think sideways and stay with your vehicle.
It's a shelter from the heat and the cold. It's also a large object in a vast expanse of nothing. It has much more of a chance of being spotted than you do – you will look like an ant to a passing aircraft. Your chances are greater if you just do nothing.

WARNING:
DON'T GET IN YOUR VEHICLE IF YOU'RE IN A DESERT AND IT'S DAYTIME. THE METAL MAY BECOME VERY HOT AND YOU MAY DEHYDRATE.

DO shelter in the shade BESIDE the vehicle until dusk. Then build a more permanent shelter in the cool to preserve fluids. If your car or plane has crashed, use the wreckage to create your shelter. Oh and keep your trap shut: you'll conserve more moisture with your mouth closed and therefore stand less chance of dehydration.

WARNING:
OFTEN THE THING YOU MOST WANT TO DO IS THE VERY THING THAT IS GOING TO ENSURE YOU WIND UP DEAD.

BE RESOURCEFUL

If you're missing something that you urgently need, don't whine about it – find a way of getting it.

So you got no matches? Doesn't mean you can't light a fire. Making fire is right up there with man's greatest discoveries. If a Neanderthal can make sparks then surely you can too bozo. (See ‘Making a fire')

 

NEANDERTHAL FIRE LIGHTING TOOLS FROM THE PLEISTOCENE PERIOD

NEVER GIVE UP

Be determined. So you're lost, abandoned, marooned? Big deal: you gotta make it home because what's the alternative? Not making it home, that's what.

You are always hearing about these people who are trapped under car wreckage and somehow manage to get themselves out, lift a boulder, run to hospital with their own severed arm tucked in their jacket, etc. You too can surprise yourself.

Do or die
, as Mrs Digby would say. I found myself in just such a tricky predicament not so long ago and here I am to tell the tale.

Trapped underneath something…

Let's face it, in this situation your chances of getting outta there alive are dwindling. No one's coming looking for you; no one seems to notice that you've even gone missing. What do you do? Stand there and blub? Blub all you like bozo, but it ain't gonna help get you back to home sweet home (though there are benefits to having a good boo hoo: it can clear the head and alleviate tension, but that's about all).