Happenstance (14 page)

“Honey, I’m home,” Jared calls out as he walks inside. “What time
is your family heading up?”

“Tomorrow morning, my grandma is making them leave at the crack
of dawn.” I giggle. “Andres is thrilled as you can imagine.”

Jared chuckles as well, “Oh, I’ll bet.”

He walks over to the kitchen. “Well my house is clean and ready
for them. Do you want to spend the night here and leave tomorrow morning to my
house or just go there now?”

I look over at him from the dining table and raise an eyebrow.
“Come again?” I ask.

“Babe, you and your family are not going to stay here,” he says.

“Is that so? Says who?” Why did he always have to change my plans
around?

“Says me.
It makes sense. I have two
extra bedrooms, everyone will be more comfortable than whatever sleeping
arrangement you made in that thoughtful little head of yours.”

“Jared, I would have been fine on the sofa or air mattress.”

“See? That’s what I mean. Who on earth wants to sleep on an air
mattress?” He crosses his arms over his chest and lets out a breath of air.

“I just didn’t want to impose.” I avoid his gaze and look down at
the floor. He walks closer to me and lifts my chin with his finger so I can look
at him.

“It’s your house,” he says.

“It’s not my house if I don’t live there,” I respond.

“Then let’s get your shit and move you in already.”

He says it so matter-of-fact.
So simple.
If only everything in my life could be that simple and easy. If I didn’t know
him any better I would brush it off that he’s kidding but he’s staring at me so
intently and I do know him. I do know that he is dead serious. His beautiful
hazel eyes are looking into mine, waiting for a response and I don’t have an
answer for him yet. My apartment is small, I get that. But it’s mine and my
safe haven. I can see his eyes glance down at my neck where I’m fidgeting with
my necklace. He sighs.
“Too soon?”

I give him a half smile.
“Just a little.
I’ll think about it.” He walks over to give me a kiss on the cheek. My heart
breaks a little because he has never done this and I know that he is
disappointed. I grab his hand when he walks past me.

“Can we still stay at your house?” I ask.

He smiles at me but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Of course, baby.”

I stay in the kitchen for a while as he takes a shower, going
over our conversation and thinking about where I am now, in a much better place
than I was six months ago. Yet, I am still so terrified.

~

We gather around the living room Christmas morning
before breakfast to open presents. I am so happy that it is actually chilly
outside. Living in Miami, cold weather is hit or miss in December. Specifically,
Christmas in Miami is usually spent in a tank top and shorts. So I can
appreciate that today, I get to wear jeans. Hey, I didn’t say I asked for much.

“Can we exchange our gifts to each other privately?” I whisper to
Jared. He looks at me and his eyes widen with confusion.

“Sure, if that’s what you want.”

My grandmother
starts handing out her gifts
first and as usual makes
me cry when she gives me a breathtaking quilt
made out of my old school t-shirts including my baseball shirts and pieces of
some of her favorite blankets from home. In the middle is a square with “Daughter”
engraved in cursive font. Since my mom died when I was young she was really the
one that raised us and helped out my dad. Reading “Daughter” on the quilt isn’t
just words to me. I am still wiping my eyes when I hear Jared and
Andres
belt out in fits of laughter. My grandmother got
Jared a family size bag of peanut M&M’s that I had to immediately grab and
put away or he’d eat the whole thing on the spot and a t-shirt that says: “
Merry Christmas
Ya
Filthy Animal.
”

“Abu!”
Astonished that she’d even
purchase that, much less give it to someone.

“What?
Home Alone
is a
classic.” She tells me and starts laughing so hard, tears form in her eyes.

“Damn right it is! Thank you Abu.” Jared gets up and gives her a
hug and kiss. My grandmother is smiling so big her eyes are sparkling. As corny
as it sounds, she seems…peaceful. It warms my heart to see them interact. Maybe
she’d be able to watch me get married again and spend time with her great
grandbabies. I keep thinking about the gift I got for him and I’m getting
anxious about his reaction. The smell of warm bread and bacon brings my
attention to the present and we all sit together for breakfast. After, Jared
and I excuse ourselves and go into the room for our gifts.

“Ok, can I give you mine first? I’m way too excited,” he tells me
with a small smile and bright eyes.

I grin and nod.
“Yup.”

He holds out two small square boxes wrapped in green and red
paper and hands me the green one. “This one first,” he says.

“
Ohhh
, two gifts?” I walk over to the bed
and sit down. “I must have been a good girl.”

His voice is barely above a whisper. “You’re a great girl.”

I kiss him on the nose before
unwrapping
the gift to find a plain silver box. Inside
is
a remarkable
silver charm bracelet with three charms; a dog, a J, and I giggle when I notice
the stiletto shoe.

“Jared, this is gorgeous, thank you.” I try to stand to give him
a hug but he holds up his hand to stop me.

“There’s another one,” he says and kneels in front of me holding
up the red box. “Open it.”

My heart is pounding, I’m pretty sure the blood is rushing to my
face. What is he doing kneeling down in front of me like that? I didn’t think
anything of it at the time but now that he is here in this nerve wracking
position what else am I supposed to be thinking?

I realize I am taking long when he chuckles nervously. “What are
you expecting, Victoria? Open it.”

I swallow. He is right, I am being foolish. I take the box and open
it to reveal a necklace with a heart
charm,
in the
middle of the heart it says “I Love You”. It’s the same brand as the bracelet.

“I don’t know if you’ve been unsure of my intentions before,
Victoria, but I love you.” He grabs the necklace from my hands and places it
around my neck, the charm stopping right in between my breasts, just over my
rapidly beating heart. “You have my love for as long as you want.”

I place my hand softly on his cheek to rub his five o’clock
shadow. I wish I could say it back, but I can’t. And I know that it’s not
because I don’t love him but because I’m frightened that if I admit it, he’ll
walk away.

I get up from bed instead and walk over to the corner where I
have his present wrapped up. It is a long 36”x24” square thin box wrapped with
bow and all. I made it last minute, last night actually in the bathroom while
he was asleep.

“Victoria?” Jared asks, frowning.

“I want you to open your gift,” I tell him.

Still frowning, he gets up and takes the box over to lay it on
the bed. When he opens it, you can see a framed canvas with hand written words
in pretty font.

“I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)

I want no world (for beautiful, you are my world, my
true)

And it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

And whatever a sun will always sing is you

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)”

E.E Cummings

“This is beautiful baby,” he says. This time I walk over and sit
on the bed next to him and grab his hand.

“It’s my favorite poem. I thought maybe we could hang it over the
bed.
Our
bed.”
I stop to give him a moment to take in my words. It doesn’t take long.

“Our bed?
So you’re moving in?”

His eyes twinkle and I smile up at him.

“Well not this weekend,” I say sheepishly.
“But
yes, eventually.”
His face falls and I can’t help but laugh, he looks
like a kid whose favorite candy has just been taken away.

“I still have a lease,
buutttt
I’m sure
we can work something out.” I wink at him and his smiles returns. He carries me
up and over his shoulder.

“Jared!” I say slapping him on the back and laughing as he begins
twirling me around. “Put me down!”

“You said yes! You said yes! You said yes!” He keeps screaming.

“Put me down or I’ll puke!” I lie. But that does the trick.

“Ok, ok, no need to start messing up OUR carpet, babe.”

He gently puts me down but doesn’t let go of my hand as he opens
the door and we walk out to the living room.

My grandmother, Carrie, and Andres are all in the living room
watching TV.

“What was going on in there?” Abu asks.

“Abu, do we
really
need
to know?” Andres smirks. I grab the sofa pillow and throw it at his face.

“
Perv
.
It’s
not what you think,” I say, laughing.

“We have an announcement to make,” Jared says and gives me a
wink. That gets their attention. “She’s moving in with me!” he tells them and
holds up our hands like if we just won a marathon. I am so relieved to see him
this happy. Just for the simple fact of wanting me to share his home.

“Oh that’s fantastic!” Carrie says and both women get up to give
us hugs and kisses. “I thought you were going to announce a marriage or
children honestly, with the way you came out of the room, Jared,” Carrie tells
us.

“Oh no, this is an accomplishment as is. You know how long it
took me to get her to say yes?”

I roll my eyes, “Um, two days.”

“Exactly.
Two days, too long.” I smile
to myself as I reel in the happiness of the day.

Jared and his mom get to share in some of our Cuban culture and
traditions this weekend. My grandmother always makes what was my favorite lunch
as a kid every Christmas: white rice with two fried eggs and a banana on the
side. The best part is that they love it.

“This is what you’ll be cooking for us when you move in huh?” he
asks me.

“That and other things, I can cook a few meals.”

Carrie stops to look at me and points her fork at him, “Oh that’s
great honey, because this one would live off of—”

“Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!”
I
finish for her and roll my eyes. “I know! Unbelievable.”

“Well what else do I have you for?” He says with a mouthful of
food.

I poke him in the arm. “To also teach you manners, I take it.” But
I love the idea of cooking or doing anything for him. We spend the rest of the
day watching Christmas movies, drinking hot chocolate and spending time with
the ones we love.

Chapter
Sixteen

February 2012

Victoria

We have to wait a little bit longer for me to move out,
my lease is for a year and I have no plans on breaking it. Jared wants me to
break it and he even offered to pay whatever cost is due, but I don’t want him
to incur that expense. I want to move in with him more than anything, I love
him. I do. But I am scared shitless, if I lose my lease and he later changes
his mind, I will be out again on my own starting over. So I’m stalling.

In the meantime, we spend every possible second together
alternating between his place and mine. Right now we are at mine and sharing
the bathroom as we get ready. He’s shaving while I iron my hair.

“What time do we have to be there again?” he asks.

“Maggie said ten. It seems so early to me but I know everything
here closes at two.”

He glances over at me in the mirror, “Why? What time do clubs
close in Miami?”

“Dude, when the sun comes up,” I say smiling at him. He smirks at
me and continues shaving.
“Alright.
Dude.”
I poke him as I walk out
and start getting dressed in the bedroom.

“She says we’ll be going to Chillers, just for a few hours to
celebrate Tricia’s birthday.”

He walks out and stars at me. “You’re wearing that?”

I glance down at myself, “Uh, yeah. Why?”

“It’s way too sexy.” He frowns.

I smile at him sweetly. “Good.”

I’m taking advantage that the weather is warm tonight and wear a
low cut purple strapless dress that is skin tight and pretty short. Of course,
I have on high heels. Jessica Simpson five inch silver pumps. My hair is
straight but I wanted it out of the way for dancing so it’s pulled to the side
and held with clips.

The celebration has already started by the time we get there but I’m
hesitant with the drinks. After the episode with Steven I haven’t wanted to
lose control again.

“Why aren’t you drunk yet? Take another shot, have some fun
girl!” Maggie says after a round of dancing.

“I might take it easy tonight,
Mags
,” I
say and glance over at Jared. His jaw tightens and he leans down to whisper in
my ear, “I’ll take care of you baby.”

I look around nervously and reach for my necklace but realize I’m
not wearing it. I wanted nothing around my neck tonight. “You’ll be with me the
whole time right?” I ask him.

He nods, “Yes sweetie, enjoy
yourself
.”

I look over at
Mags
who is watching us
and I try my best reassuring smile. “Ok, count me in for a shot!”

“Woop!
That’s my girl!” She quickly
turns around and heads to the bar.

Jared tightens his hold on me and gentle nips my earlobe. I smile
and turn around to face him but his face is pensive and his lips are pursed.

I tilt my head and ask, “What?”

“Maybe you should consider therapy babe.” He says softly. I
narrow my eyes. What does he think I
am,
a nut case? I
don’t need to start talking to random people who don’t give a fuck about me.