Happily Ever All-Star: A Secret Baby Romance (67 page)

“Usually?”

“Lately, it’s been staying in my head.
Festering
. Twisting me up. Do you understand? I can’t get
rid
of this rage. It’s just…growing.”

Piper didn’t run.

Why didn’t she
run
?

Why did she stay and listen and act as if she
cared
?

“You have no idea how
hard
it is. Every minute of every day is a fight with
myself
, denying the dark and terrible parts of me. You asked why I work-out here? Alone? It’s not about the solitude. This is the only place where I can push myself to the breaking point every day.”

“Is it a punishment?”

“No. It’s the only way I can exhaust myself. I pour everything, every last ounce of strength, into my work-out, praying it’s enough to make me so tired I can’t give a fuck about anything.”

“Cole—”

She still didn’t understand. How the hell was I supposed to describe how
broken
I was to someone so perfect?

“I live every day in
fear.”
It didn’t relieve me to admit it. Just made the shame
worse
. “I’m bigger than everyone. I’m stronger. I’m the goddamned
beast
. I can’t even play this game anymore without breaking a man’s
back
. I’m too dangerous. I can’t…”

I looked away. Walked away. Tried to get away.

Piper didn’t let me.

She held a hand to my chest and a second to my cheek. I fought her, but her touch warmed through me. Gentle. Fucking gentle.

“Stop punishing yourself,” she said. “You’ve no reason to be afraid.”

“Of course I do.
You
scare me, beautiful.”

Piper stilled, her voice low. “Have you ever thought about hurting me?”

I took her hand, answering immediately, fervently. “
No
.”

“Have you ever thought about hurting Rosie?”

The idea physically sickened me. I pushed her away, trying to forget the baby’s smile and her laugh and how she shared her banana with me every morning.

“
God, no
.”

“Then why are you so afraid? Why won’t you let me trust you?” Piper moved too close, too soft.

She wanted to be kissed. And I wanted to kiss her too. If I could have, I might have done more. I’d caress her, worship her, make love to her. I imagined giving her every pleasure a woman like her deserved.

I wanted to feel her against me at night.

I wanted to wake up next to her in the morning.

But it wouldn’t happen. Couldn’t.

I stepped away.

“I won’t risk hurting you,” I said.

Her words struck me—honest and mournful. “But what will you risk if you walk away?”

Piper wasn’t going to fight me. Rose cried over the baby monitor, and she left me with the echo of her gentle warning.

Alone.

In silence.

I once thought that I loved solitude. I was wrong.

I loathed it. The quiet was a curse, and my own fear a binding that chained me to the monster I hated the most. I had to escape it, but I didn’t know how.

Only one person might have helped me…

But I wasn’t risking her to save myself.

T
he game ended
, and a microphone immediately was jammed into my face.

I didn’t have enough time to wipe the blood off my nose, brow, cheek, chin, hair. It mixed with sweat and dripped off me, but the media ate that shit up.

“Cole, you played with a
broken nose
for two quarters!” The reporter from Sports Nation was a sharp-dressed peacock posturing for the camera. He didn’t lean too close—couldn’t get blood on his designer suit. “Where did you find the strength to keep fighting?”

We had a lot of canned responses memorized. Maybe I
dug deep
. Maybe the game was
do or die
.

Maybe I couldn’t afford a bad game after Coach Scott threatened to cut me if I even spoke the name
Tim Morgan
.

Instead, I told the reporter the truth. It was the first time I ever looked into the camera during an interview, on or off the field.

“I had a little girl counting on me,” I said. “I told her I’d win, and I couldn’t break that promise.”

The reporter might have keeled over. “
You
…played for a child?”

“Yeah, and it worked out good. We got the job done.” I nodded to the camera. “Hi, Rosie.”

The reporter swallowed his tongue. I patted his shoulder and joined the swarm of trainers still trying to stop my bleeding. We jogged to the locker room, but I knew what to expect. My nose was broken, and that was the least of my pain.

The best games were the ones I could
feel
once it was over, when the adrenaline faded, and every joint, muscle, and bone screamed. The worst games were the ones when I could hardly drive my ass home.

Tonight we treaded that line.

It was after midnight when I got back to the estate. I was grateful I finally learned how to open the baby gates because hell if I could lift my leg over it. Bruised and in a suit, the insult and injury. The suit jacket fell to the floor, and I took a big drink from the sink sprayer.

I hadn’t realized who I’d wake while shuffling through the house.

Piper rested on the couch with Rose asleep on her chest. The kid sprawled out, arms wide, legs up, not necessarily comfortable, but at least she was sleeping. I paused in the doorway.

Piper’s smile warmed me as nicely as a dip in the hot tub.

“You thanked Rose for the win,” she said.

I was too tired to lie. “Just trying to impress her momma.”

“It worked.”

“I’m smooth like that.”

“Not really, but at least you look good saying it…or you should. How’s your nose?”

“You worried about me?”

Not that she’d admit. “Gotta protect my assets.”

“My assets got kicked today.”

“You bled a lot.”

“Don’t remind me.”

She expected me to sit. If I did, I’d never get up. Rose wiggled, gave the cutest fucking snore, and woke herself up. The baby looked as exhausted as me, but she still smiled all bashful.

“We wanted to see you when you got back, didn’t we?” Piper smoothed Rose’s little puffball pigtails and stood. “Since she was so
influential
in your win.”

“She’s a decent motivator.”

She made a pouty face. “Uh-oh, Rosie. Look. Cole has a boo-boo.”

I’d never shuffle away fast enough. “No. Cole’s fine.”

“
Uh-oh
!” Rose stared at me, eyes huge. “
Boo-boo! Uh-oh
!”

“Know what he needs?”

I didn’t trust her. “A shot of whiskey and sleep?”

“He needs a kiss to fix the boo-boo!”

I’d probably need surgery in the off-season, not toddler slobber. I edged away. Piper moved faster, and Rose reached for me with grabby hands.

“
Boo boo
!”

This was some sort of weird Mr. Roger’s level torture. Piper didn’t give me a choice. I presented my cheek with a fading prayer that the kid wouldn’t flail her arms and crack my nose off-kilter again.

I should have known better. Rose gently pecked my cheek and groggily giggled.

“Aw, so nice!” Piper teased. “Don’t you feel better?”

Actually. I did feel a little better. Probably meant I had a concussion too.

I cracked a smile. “Thanks, kid.”

“I need to get her to bed.” Piper looked me over. “Are you going to be okay?”

I wasn’t an invalid. Yet. “I’m fine. Just sore.”

She didn’t believe me, but the baby fussed. Piper headed upstairs to take care of Rose.

And I started the long, arduous trek to my room as well.

One shuffling step at a time.

I took the stairs slow, stretching my hamstring with every hop up the marble. Hard to do when my knees refused to bend, my ankles twisted the wrong way, and my body hurt so much even my teeth ached.

I reached the second floor with a grunt. So much for a clean getaway. Piper met me with crossed arms and a tapping foot. Sure. Gloat more.
Her
joints could actually move.

She pointed the baby monitor at me. “I changed Rose’s diaper and got her back to sleep by the time you made it up the stairs.” She pretended like she was more annoyed than worried, but I saw through it. “Let me help you.”

“Don’t need help.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“Never needed help before, beautiful.”

“Has anyone ever offered you help before?”

No.

I didn’t answer, and somehow that still gave Piper the edge. She took my arm and hauled me up the last stair—as if a little thing like her could shove me.

“I put one baby to bed.” She guided me to my room. “Might as well take care of the other.”

“So I get my ass beat on the field and break my goddamned nose, and I’m a baby now?”

She sat me on my bed, snapping her fingers. “Arms up.”

I actually laughed. “You think I can get my arms up?”

“Hmm…” She twisted her lips into a pout. “Okay. I’ll work around you.”

She reached for my shirt, but I brushed her away. “I got this.”

“I don’t think you do.”

Neither did I, but I wasn’t having her walk me, sit me down,
and
strip me. Last thing I needed was her grabbing a spare diaper and doing the whole nine yards.

But Christ, nothing like being a grown man who couldn’t take off his own shirt. My hands hurt so much I couldn’t pinch my fingers on the buttons.

My temper flared. Fine. I’d rip the fucking thing off.

“Stop.” Piper slapped me away, probably the only time she’d overpower me. “You don’t need to go all Hulk if I’m here to help.”

She worked quick and bit her lip as she went down the line, starting at the top. This wasn’t so bad. She leaned close, and I caught the scent of her hair. Bright. Citrus.

The dress shirt fell open. Piper stared at me in horror.

“Oh God. You’re a solid bruise. Did the trainers—”

“It was a hard game. I’m used to it.”

“I’m not!”

“Well…you don’t often strip me after a game.”

“Would you really want me to?”

“I’m stubborn, but what man would argue with a woman begging to take his pants off?” I met her gaze. “Any guy who’d refuse is an idiot.”

“What do I call the man who lets me help?”

“The luckiest son of a bitch in the world.”

“Funny…” Piper’s smile faded. “The last time I had a guy strip for me, he wasn’t lucky, just a regular son of a bitch.”

“Yeah. He was a bastard.”

She nodded. “A
big
one.”

“Well, I’d kick my own ass for you, but I think the damage has already been done.”

“I’m not looking for revenge, Cole,” she said. “I just want to understand you.”

“I’m not worth it.”

“I don’t believe you.”

She helped me with my belt, and I let my hands fall to the bed. Her fingers moved, quick and delicate, as she pulled the zipper down.

Any other man might have been ashamed of himself for the bulge that grew, but I couldn’t hate myself any more.

“You know I’m just an animal,” I said. “I’m nothing you should get involved with.”

Piper tugged the trousers down, revealing that hardness I couldn’t control. I stopped her.

She held my stare, her eyes beautiful and vibrant.
Honest
. “You’re not an animal. Never have been, never will be.”

“You deserve better than me.”

“Says who?”

“Me. You’ll realize it too.”

“Don’t pretend you know what’s best for me. I’ve had enough men in my life try to tell me what to do and how to live. I know what I want. And I know what’s good for me and my baby.”

“You think that’s me?”

“I know when something is worth fighting…” Her words broke. “You could be a good man, Cole.”

She was so naïve, so genuine, so
confident
. “I want to be.”

“Why don’t you believe me?”

“Because…” It was too good to be true. “I don’t accept help. I don’t get kisses for boo-boos. I don’t dedicate my game to someone else.”

“But you did.”

“I’m not a man who talks about my
feelings
with anyone.”

“But you are.”

“I’m not…someone who makes love to a woman. I fuck, and I fuck her like a beast.” The apology sounded just as coarse and ugly as the lust I felt for her. “I shouldn’t have touched you. I shouldn’t have let you see that monster in me.”

I stiffened in every conceivable way as Piper knelt before me, edging between my legs and tugging my boxers low. My cock stirred, but I didn’t dare touch it.

Piper looked up at me—surrendering and challenging me at the same time.

How was it possible to want this woman as badly as I needed her to stay away?

“I didn’t fuck
The Beast
,” Piper whispered. “I wanted
you
, Cole, and I still want that man. The one who’ll read a bedtime story to my baby. The one who shares his banana with her in the morning. The one who calls me
beautiful
.”

“You are.”

“The one who makes me
feel
beautiful.”

“You should always feel beautiful.”

“And you should know that you
are
that man, Cole.”

I curled my hands into fists, hiding the trembling. “I have no idea who I am.”

“Then let me show you.”

Her fingers danced over my cock. The heat from her hands burned through me, a blessing I didn’t deserve, but I didn’t have the strength to push her away. Her elegant fingers clenched, squeezing my paler skin against her lovely darkness.

I tensed as she lowered her lips. Her tongue flicked against me, soft and gentle. Like she just wanted to taste. She swiped across the head and so enjoyed my shiver that she did it again. I hardened even more, the blood pulsing and burning me from the inside out.

Her lips parted, and she
slowly
slipped me into her mouth.

Was she trying to drive me insane? Did she want to destroy me? Or maybe it was a tease because she knew I couldn’t move my aching muscles.

I realized too late that my beauty wasn’t a sadist. She licked, kissed, and sucked with that infuriating slowness not to taunt me but…

Because it was gentle.

Soft and tender. Sweet and attentive. She did it to please me.

And I had no idea how wonderful it felt to be...
pleased
.

I never thought of my cock as an instrument of pleasure. It was meant to be
used
. Slammed between lips, punished between legs. No one ever wanted
me.
They asked to fuck a dominant, dangerous man, and I delivered.

But Piper…

Christ, she amazed me. Humbled me. She gave herself to
my
desires, watching as I hissed between clenched teeth and bucked my hips. I resisted the urge to curl her hair in my fist. I couldn’t ruin this moment. Not when I feared I’d push her away, and not when I knew I’d draw her closer.

Her tongue traced down, flicking as she bobbed over the shaft. Every draw of her mouth cascaded a shiver over me. She pulled the head from between her lips to breathe, kissing my length as I stared at her, amazed.

“Does that feel good?” she asked.

What an unnecessary question. “You don’t have to do this.”

“I’ll take that as a
yes
.” Piper smiled. “You’re allowed to enjoy it, Cole.”

Oh, she was naïve. “I’m trying not to enjoy it too much.”

“You could do that too.” Her lips popped over my head ahead, sinking down to take more into her throat. A perfect temptress. “I just wanted to show you…”

“What?”

She licked her way back up.

“That someone cares about you.”

Now it was too much. I tensed, but I didn’t let myself come.

“Stand up,” I whispered. “Let me see you.”

Piper obeyed, never once breaking her gaze with mine. She pulled her camisole over her head, chasing it with her bra. Everything slow and deliberate. A sexy reveal, just for me. She wanted me to see. To imagine what waited. To want what she could give.

And it worked.

I wanted everything—her kiss, her touch, her body. I dreamed of anything she might have offered beyond this one night.

She stood. Her hips shimmied left to right, and she kicked off her jeans and panties.

“Beautiful…”

Her nickname was a whisper of truth. She amazed me. Curvy and dark. Soft and feminine. God, she was petite. I might have broken her in half if she hadn’t broken me first.

I tried to stand, but she didn’t allow it. Piper pushed on my chest, and I rested flat on the bed.

This was something…
new
.

Exciting.

She crawled over me, giggling like she thought it was ridiculous that she might tease me with the sultry movement of her shoulders and hips. Christ, if she only knew how hard I had to fight not to blow right then and there.

She braced her legs on either side of my waist. The bruises bothered her. I held my breath, and she pressed a hand over the spreading darkness on my ribs.

Her voice caressed me as softly as her hands. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Don’t you dare stop now.”

“What if I hurt you?”

“And what if you heal me?”

I gripped her hips, but I didn’t squeeze, didn’t force her to move. I helped steady her over me. Time slowed as she stroked my cock, tugging just to position herself over the straining head. She settled over the shaft.