Hard to Love You (31 page)

We all stand around chatting and Elle announces dinner is ready. Gathering in the kitchen we eat dinner and then move on to presents for Cooper and Mason, followed by cake. I didn’t have time to get them anything so I chose to just do gift cards to their favorite places to eat. I know they don’t get good food a lot because they are constantly on the road.

The girls are all in the kitchen cleaning up when Mason comes up behind me and whispers in my ear, “Come with me for a bit.”

I damn near drop the glass that I’m rinsing out. I start to shake my head no when MacKenzie bumps my hip with hers. “Go.”

I beg MacKenzie with my eyes to help me. I can’t do that. I can’t be alone with him. My heart is almost back together and I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces again. I’m stronger than I was before but when Mason Cahill is involved I turn into mush.

MacKenzie grabs the glass and repeats herself, “Go. Please, for me.”

I sigh in defeat. I let go of the glass and dry my hands with the towel. I nod to Mason and follow behind him. I do want to go, I need to prove that I can still be around Mason and not be in a relationship with him. But then a part of me aches to be with him. I don’t just miss him emotionally, I miss him physically too.

Please don’t break me again.

I grab Hailey’s hand and walk out through the garage with her to get my bike. It’s a stifling hot August night.

“Come for a ride with me?” I ask Hailey as I grab my helmet and slide it over my head. I’m leaving regardless if she comes or not.

She turns and goes into the garage to where she knows I’ve left her helmet; where it always has been. I turn on the bike and wait for Hailey to climb on behind me. Her arms feel smaller than they were a few months ago. She locks her fingers around my stomach and squeezes my hips with the inside of her legs, giving me the signal that she’s ready.

I pull out of the driveway and turn the opposite direction of my house with Cooper. I pull into MacKenzie and Hunter’s development. Hailey’s hands shift, probably thinking I’m dropping her off since that’s where she is staying. I get to the end of their street and turn right. The houses get bigger and bigger the further you drive down the street. My house is in the center of the cul-de-sac, you can barely tell there is a house there with all the willow trees surrounding it. The “for sale” sign has a giant sold sign across it. I stop in front of the house and steady the bike with my feet; positioning us in direct sight of the house.

Hailey flips the visor up on her helmet so I can hear her, “What are we doing?”

I raise mine to answer back. “Just looking.”

“Uh, Mase isn’t this a little creepy?”

I chuckle. I guess she hasn’t seen the sold sign yet. “Yeah a little, but I know the owner.”

“Mason let’s get the hell out of here. Take me home.”

I smile, if she only knew that I want this to be her home. I give the bike a little gas and she grabs me around the waist again. I pull up the driveway and hit the garage keypad on my bike. Hailey’s legs squeeze my hips. I pull into the garage and it shuts behind me. My car is parked next to me; this has to be a giveaway now.

I pull off my helmet and wait as Hailey gets off the bike. “Mason, why is your car here?”

I place my helmet on the work bench near the door that leads into the mud room. “I told you I know the owner.”

Hailey follows closely behind me. “Does my hair look alright?” She asks as she fixes her hair back into a ponytail.

I stop and turn to face her. Clearly she hasn’t put two and two together. “Stop. Leave it. You’re at my house.” I turn back around and open the door.

Hailey gasps behind me and I silently chuckle. Silly girl really had no idea.

I take off my shoes, go into the kitchen and grab a bottle of water. Hailey’s eyes are darting all around, taking in the house. “Wow Mase.”

She isn’t paying attention to where she is walking and bumps right into me. She stumbles back a step but I’m there to steady her. I pull her to me. I take a deep breath when I get a whiff of her perfume, I miss that smell.

She looks up at me, “Why would you bring me here?”

I tell her the truth, “I want my girl back.” She starts to protest and pull away but I stop her. “It might not happen right this second, maybe not tomorrow but it will happen, I love you Hailey.”

Hailey looks at me with wide eyes and she starts swaying. “We’re over, Mase.”

“Shush.” I capture her lips before she can say anything else, she is stiff as a board at first and then it’s all hands after that. I reach down and pick her up. We bump into counters a few times as I try to make it to the living room. I can’t take her upstairs to my bedroom because I don’t have any furniture yet. The only room that is furnished is the living room.

“Mase,” Hailey’s breath tickles my ear. “This doesn’t change anything for us. We’ve hurt each other too much.”

I rest my head on her shoulder, “I know, but that didn’t change things for me Hailey. I can’t function when we’re apart; I’m barely living day to day without you.”

Hailey kisses my neck, she’s wavering. “I know what you mean.”

I gently lay her on the plush, living room area rug. The couch isn’t going to be big enough for us tonight. I pin her underneath me. Hailey’s legs part and I rock into her, she is warm and it’s inviting. She moans when I rock again. I can’t believe she is letting this happen so easily. This isn’t what I had planned for us but I’ll take it.

“Boo,” I whisper in her ear before biting on it gently.

“Hmm?” Hailey moans and shifts her hips.

I roll off her and start removing her clothes. Once I’ve got her shirt off I stop and stare at her tattoos.

I bend and kiss the flower with the piercing in the middle, “This is sexy as fuck.” I look into her eyes, “I love these on you.” I kiss the flower on her hip, run my tongue along the lines to the next one and kiss that and then do the same with the other two flowers. I take one of her nipples in my mouth. She starts panting hard and her cheeks flush as she watches me lick, bite and suck. I release her right and drag my tongue to her left and give it the same attention. Hailey’s back arches.

“Please Mason.” Hailey begs.

“What Boo?” I want to hear her say that she wants me.

Hailey pulls my shirt up; I lean up and let her take it off me. “I need you Mase, please.” She has this lustful look in her eyes. Hearing her tell me she needs me makes me want her even more. Hailey reaches for me shorts and pulls them down until they are around my knees.

I roll again and Hailey straddles my hips now. She reaches behind her head and gathers her long blonde hair that is tied back in a ponytail, and then she holds it in her left hand. Hailey takes her pointer finger on her right hand and sucks on it. She then ever so slowly drags it down her chin, to her neck and then circles each of her nipples. I suck in a breath and grow painfully hard. I grip her hips and slide her wetness over my cock.

Hailey moans and presses down harder. If we keep this up much longer I’m going to cum and I’m not going to let that happen unless I’m inside her. Hailey sucks on her finger again and then slides it right down the valley of her tits, circles her belly button and then stops to look me right in the eyes. We are locked in a lust filled haze. Her eyes fall down to where her hand is and I follow her line of sight. She starts to circle her clit. Hailey was never this brave before, never this confident. In our months apart she’s changed.

Hailey whimpers and her head falls back as she rocks harder against me while circling her clit. I can’t take it anymore. I lift her up by her hips and guide her onto me. She’s so wet that I slip in with ease and I reach the hilt so quickly that I freeze, worrying that I’ve hurt her. Hailey doesn’t stop or show any signs of discomfort. She rises up and drops back down until she reaches the hilt again. Damn she’s going to kill me like this.

“Fuck Mase.” Hailey whimpers.

My eyes flutter shut as she rides me so hard, harder than she ever has. I’m going to blow my load if she keeps this up. I grip her hips when she comes back down and flip us. I sit back, grab Hailey’s legs and cross them at her ankles. I rest Hailey’s legs on my left shoulder, lean forward and start pumping hard and quick into her. This angle is much tighter.

Hailey yells out my name over and over as we both reach for our release. I reach forward and grab both of Hailey’s tits and squeeze hard. She screams my name louder, her hands grip my arms, and she bites her lower lip.

“Come, Hailey.”

Hailey’s eyes lock on mine and she explodes around me. I pump once, twice and then release into her, filling her. She still contracts around me even after I’ve given her everything I have.

Sweating and panting, I release her legs so that now I’m cradled between them, but I don’t pull out. I’m not ready for this to be over. Hailey runs her small hands in my hair, down my neck and then back up. My ear is resting against her chest, listening to her erratic heartbeat.

After a few moments I look up into her eyes. They are glassy and the color is a deeper blue than normal; a cold, distant blue. I’m not going to ask her what’s wrong; I can feel her saying goodbye.

I wince as I start to pull out of her but Hailey hooks her legs around my ass, holding me in place. She whispers, “Not yet.”

I push back into her. Her hot, soft body is incasing me and nothing in the world feels better than this. I would give up everything, including baseball, to stay here with her. I want to lock us in my house and throw away the key.

Hailey’s heartbeat is slow and her legs have dropped open wider. I peek up at her and she’s asleep. “Hailey?” I say softly.

She doesn’t answer. I start to pull out again but she whimpers and squeezes her legs around me. I gently roll us so she’s lying on top of me and I fumble around, reaching for the blankets. I maneuver so I can reach for them and once I do I drape our bodies and drift off to one of the best nights of sleep in weeks.

When I wake the next morning the weight from Hailey’s body is missing. I take a deep breath and hold it until my lungs burn. I can sense she’s gone. My body feels cold, chilly. I open my eyes and look from side to side for any signs that she’s still here, even though I know the truth deep down. Nothing is here, she’s left me.

I’m crushed, but in reality I kind of expected this from her. I knew getting her back wasn’t going to be this easy but I’ll let her go for now. Tonight just proved that we aren’t over and I refuse to give up. Jaylinn was right; I had to let her go. Now I just need to wait for Hailey to realize she still needs me.

The final stage of my breakup:
Joy and Love.

I’ve let go of the bad memories as the new ones start to take over. Good things are going to happen for me from here on out.

I sit straight up from a dead sleep, breathing heavy, with sweat dripping down my face. The same dream replays every night, over and over again. Mason taking me to his house and making love to me on his living room floor. No matter what I do I can’t stop the dreams. It doesn’t even help that I haven’t spoken to him in two months.