Hart (6 page)

I come too, thinking that’s my phone ringing then I remember last night and turn to look and there he is, Grey, fast sleep next to me looking sexier than ever with his hair sticking up and his stubble just that bit longer. I just lie and look at him for a while when my phone starts ringing again. I slowly get out of bed and look around; I grab an old t shirt from my drawer and walk around the house trying to find my phone, I find my bag where I left it when I came in with Grey last night. I pull it out and it stops ringing. I put the kettle down as I open my notifications, three missed calls from James and a couple of texts from Will. I put my phone on silent whilst I make my tea then I sit outside at the table. I read Will’s text first

I hope your night was as good as mine.

Cam – is everything ok?

Cam please call me.

I quickly text him back saying last night was amazing and that I will call later, then I ring James

“Camilla”

“Hi James, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing I was worrying, you didn’t ring yesterday like you said you would”

“Sorry it completely slipped my mind, everything is ok. I’ve brought a book shop”

“Jesus Camilla, I though you would just take a break and then come back?”

“James I not coming back, not for a while anyway”

“What’s brought this on? You need to be with your family”

“No James I need to get on with my life and that’s what I‘m doing”

“There is no need to be in such a hurry, you only lost Edward a few years ago”

“James I don’t want to talk about this now please.”

“No I know that, look Edward loved you with everything he was, you just can’t forget him Cam, come home”

“Edward would want me to move on wouldn’t he?”

“Eventually maybe but Christ Camilla I thought you loved him?”

“Enough James, I will ring you Friday”

“Wait, I was ringing to ask if you could look after the girls, I have been called to a meeting in Ireland and thought I would take Suzie with me”

“When?”

“As soon as you could get here”

“Bloody hell James it’s a bit short notice”

“I know I’m sorry, you know we don’t like leaving them with anyone else, we would be back by lunchtime tomorrow”

“Ok, ok, I will be there in about two hours”

“Perfect, thanks Camilla”

I cut the call and think about Edward, all the times we laughed, had fun and about the wedding dress I had on order then had to cancel, I swipe the tears from my cheeks and stand to go and get ready. Shit I remember Grey is still asleep in my bed, I remember how amazing last night was and then the guilt hits me… hard. I quickly shower in the main bathroom and pack an overnight bag. Once I’m ready I take a long look at Grey who is still peacefully sleeping, I watch him for a minute and my belly feels like it has butterflies in it, something it hasn’t felt in a long time. I grab a piece of paper and a pen from my nightstand and write him a note.

Hi Grey,

Sorry I had to leave unexpectedly and won’t be back until late tomorrow, please help yourself to anything and could you make sure the door is locked on your way out.

Thank you for last night it was truly eye opening and amazing.

Cam

I leave the note on the floor outside the bedroom door and leave. I jump in my car and hurry away, once I’m on the motorway all I can think about is that I have betrayed my love for Edward, I cry all the way into London. I stop and get a coffee and compose myself before reaching James’ house I don’t want the girls to see me upset again, they have seen that enough times.

I pull onto the drive and stop the car and James is there to meet me and open my door

“Camilla. Thank you for coming”

“This is the last time, James”

“What’s happened? I can see you’ve been crying”

“That was you reminding me of Edward”

“I’m sorry, I just think you need to be here with us”

“No I need to move on”

“Come on then, the girls are waiting for you”

I spend the day playing with the girls, it isn’t until they have gone to bed that I call Will

“Hey Doll, so how was last night?”

“Oh Will, last night was amazing but this morning not so good”

“Why what happened?”

“James called, I’m at his house looking after the girls while they are at a meeting in Ireland. He told me to think about Edward. It’s like he knew I had slept with someone else, Will I just feel so ashamed”

“Fuck off Cam, you have done nothing wrong. We know you loved Edward but he’s gone you need to live otherwise that crash took four lives not three”

“I know what you are saying but last night I didn’t think about him once”

“I don’t expect you thought about anything other than that very hot man screwing you”

“Will, that’s not helping”

“Look Edward is not coming back, you moved here to live again and that’s what’s happening, get your ass back here tomorrow or I will come and get you”

“I will be back by lunchtime, love you Will”

“Love you too Doll, see you tomorrow”

“Yeah bye”

I feel slightly better and decide to go over the plans for the book shop, I eventually crawl into bed and crash.

I slowly come too and realise that I’m alone in Cam’s bed, the memory of last night plays through my mind and I feel my cock harden at the thought of having her again. I slowly make my way to the shower and catch a look at myself in the mirror, somehow I look different but I’m not sure what it is.

I come out the shower wrapped in a towel and go to find Cam; I open the door and find a note sitting on the floor. Fucking hell she has left, that has never and I mean never happened to me before, ok so she says it was amazing and I agree with that but fuck she left...

I wander back into the bedroom and find my clothes, get dressed and make the bed, I wander round her bedroom, I stop at her bedside cabinet and open the top drawer, fuck, there is a photo of Cam and a man, it must be an engagement party as they are holding hands across her chest and she is wearing a diamond ring, I throw it back in and shut the draw. I leave the house and walk down the road and into my house, Richard is in the garden

“Grey tell me you didn’t, she is a nice girl”

“Fuck off Richard”

“Shit you did, didn’t you?”

“Yes I did but only because she wanted me too”

“I can’t believe you, I thought I asked you to leave her alone”

“Fuck off Richard, what are you my mother?”

I walk on past and into the house, shit, I punch the wall and walk to the kitchen, I could really do with a whiskey now, I know there is no point searching the house for one, so I decide to work out. I change into shorts and a t shirt and hit the beach. I run for miles trying to get her out of my head, but every time I think of her all I can see is her sat on my cock with her head thrown back, I run faster and try to clear my head. When I can’t run anymore I stop and sit on the beach, I watch the people around me everyone is happy and with their loved ones, I watch the kids building sandcastles, I can’t believe I thought I was happy, I stand and shake the sand off and decide to look for a café, instead I find an off licence and buy a bottle of whiskey. I take a slow walk back to the house; just as I reach the house I remove my t shirt and hide the whiskey inside so Richard won’t see. I open the gate and there he is

“Don’t start on me Richard I’m not in the mood” I say as I walk past, he grabs my arm

“Hey I’m sorry, it’s just that she’s had a hard time recently and I don’t want her to get hurt”

“And what about me Richard?”

I shrug free from his grip and walk into the house, I hit the shower and wash the sweat from my body, I run my soapy hands over my body and realise I have nail marks on my chest, I think about her making those marks and before I know what’s happening I’ve got a strong grip on my cock and I am pumping it hard, thinking about what she looked like with my cock in her mouth, I let out a shout as I release into the water. What the fuck is wrong with me today. I dry myself and lie on the bed with the bottle of whiskey, I can’t be bothered to get a glass so I drink it from the bottle. After the first half is gone and I feel no better I drink the rest and knock myself out.

I wake up late the next morning starving, I take a quick shower, my head is thumping and my phone is ringing, I ignore my phone and go in search of coffee, after making a cup I wander outside to drink it and to have a look to see if Cam is back yet. Her car is not in the drive, so I sit down and look at my phone. Shit it was Nikki that rang, I call her back

“Greyson, what the fuck, Richard tells me you have been drinking. AGAIN.”

“Nikki just stop I don’t need this now”

“Why’s that? Does your head hurt? Well tough shit you’re going to hear me out”

“Look I think of you as a friend. One who admittedly busts my balls but you’re the only person I talk too. I met a girl last night”

“Well nothing unusual there is it?”

“Ha thanks for that. Thing is I like her already, we had amazing sex then she left”

“Oh now I see the problem, you know that’s how lots of women feel after you left them hooked”

“Jesus Nikki, I have never felt like this, what the hell am I supposed to do?”

“I have sent you the script for the movie it should be with you this morning, read it through. I feel happier knowing that you will understand the story now, anyway he is well built and very English. Try focusing on your part and you have the job as well”

“That’s all very well but she lives next door”

“Right, do you want me to find you another house?”

“Nah, I will be ok”

“Alright I will speak to you in a few days see how you are doing then.”

I chuck my phone on the counter as the doorbell rings, I walk slowly to the door, it’s the delivery guy with the script, I take it and sign where the guy asks me too. I walk back in and settle on the couch, open the packet and pull out the script.

I spend the rest of the day reading and wandering outside every so often to see if Cam is back, she’s still not home when I go to bed but that doesn’t stop me thinking about her as I drift of too sleep.

I wake early the next morning before my alarm. It is a sunny day and I’m getting hot just lying in bed. I sit up and swing my legs round and get up to pull the curtains back from the window, oh my God, England is beautiful. I pull on some shorts and grab a bottle of water; I decide on a run. I walk out through the kitchen door and see her, my heart starts to race in my chest as I watch her walk out to her pool, this time she has a tiny bikini on. I continue to watch her as she dives in, she didn’t even look this way, fuck, I run to the gate and onto the beach.

I arrive back at Will’s early afternoon, after having another round with James, he even got pictures out to remind me how much I loved Edward.

“Hey Doll, come in. Are you ok?”

“No Will, shit I’m so confused”

“About what?”

“Friday night, Edward, James…everything”

“Ok hang on a minute, this is how I see it, Edward is gone and nobody deserves to be alone, Friday night was amazing so you say, I need to know more but that can wait, I thought you were only having sex with him anyway because you want a baby more than anything at the moment and James has everything. You my doll are the one and only thing he has no control over anymore. Does that sum it up?”

“Yeah, I wish you had said that yesterday. I spent the whole day comparing Edward to Grey”

“Look Cam, Edward was ok and I know you loved him but he is gone, Grey is a bit of a player and is only here for three months, so he will be gone too, you came here to move on. Why don’t you put your energy into the book shop and your new life away from your brother?”

“Yeah you’re right Will, thanks, now what have you got to eat I’m starving”

“Let’s go and get a burger”

I spend the rest of the day and late into the night at Will’s, just talking and watching films, I only leave when Mr Sunday night arrives.

I pull into my drive and take a deep breath; all the lights are out next door so I make a quick dash in. Once I’m inside I shut the door and my mind takes over, I can see Grey on his knees, then I glance to the wall and remember him fucking me hard against it, I shake my head and wander into the kitchen. I make a tea and find myself in the bedroom, I see my note still on the floor, I read back over what I wrote to him. Ok so I made it clear it was just amazing sex, he probably won’t ever talk to me again. I open the door and see the bed has been made. I walk to my side and place my tea down on the cabinet and pull back the cover… Grey was the last person to do that. I undress and slide into bed, I can still smell him faintly on the pillows, I drink my tea and snuggle into the pillow.

When I wake the next morning I am filled with guilt again, I open my drawer and bring out the photo of me and Edward on our engagement, we look so happy, Edward was a good looking guy but not to Grey’s standards, he was very much into his job, like I was. So we always seemed to be at work or too tired when we eventually got home. I wipe my tears and decide to go for a swim, the sun is out even though it’s not long past six in the morning. I find a bikini and grab a glass of orange juice and walk to the pool, I feel as though I’m being watched. I know it’s Grey so I don’t look and I just dive into the pool. When I reach the end I stop at the wall as I hear the gate click, it was for sure him watching me then. I swim a couple more lengths then get out, I look down the beach and in the distance I can see him running with just his shorts on, he has one perfect body. I walk away and make a cup of tea then decide on a long bath.

It’s almost ten when I’m dressed and ready, I pick my phone up and gather the papers for the shop, I decide to walk again today to maybe gather some inspiration. Once I’m outside I look around and spot Richard in the garden.

“Morning Richard, it’s a lovely day isn’t it?”

“Oh morning Cam, wait a second I need a word”

I wait for him to come across the garden and meet me at the fence

“Cam… about Grey”

“Everything is fine Richard, really it’s all ok”

“I told him to leave you alone, he really isn’t boyfriend material you know.”

“Richard, honestly it’s fine. He did nothing wrong”

“You sure about that?”

“Yes. Anyway if you’re stuck for something to do today whilst you’re waiting I could use your help at the shop”

“I have a couple of things to do first but I will be down in a bit if that’s ok?”

“Perfect, see you later” I give him a wave and walk to the shop

I get to the shop and Mrs Jones is waiting for me, she hands me the keys and says she will be out today enjoying some time off but if I ever need her just to ring. I sit in silence just looking around the shop for a good hour, before giving myself a pep talk. I reach for my phone and search for a local builder, I find two and arrange to meet them, one this morning and one this afternoon. I have a few customers in, they’re really friendly and we have a good chat about what they would like to see in the shop and they come up with some really good ideas.

Richard arrives just before the builder, he goes over the plans with me and we are ready when the builder arrives. We are both just sat there when the door goes, we both look up, wow, is everyone I meet in Latton handsome? I think, I hope this is my builder.

“Hi I’m Tom from Latton Builders, are you Camilla?”

“Hi Tom, yes I’m Camilla, you can call me Cam though. This is my friend Richard” I can’t believe he is so handsome, he’s blonde which usually is never on my radar. He has a buzz cut, a beard, tattoos and just so happens to be really well built, he must be six foot two. I’m starting to realise I love tattoos and beards… Edward was always clean cut and would never dream of getting a tattoo; he was slim but not muscly. Tom reaches out to shake my hand, oh a lovely strong grip… I watch as he then takes Richard’s hand.

“Tom these are the plans for the shop, would you like to look and then get back to me with a price?”

“Yeah sure, ok if I look around?”

“Of course” I hand him the plans and watch as he walks away. Richard nudges me and smiles; I smile back and sit back down.

When Tom eventually comes back he is smiling “Wow the plans are great, I will take them away, I have a few ideas which I will draw up and get back to you later”

“Thanks Tom, I have Simon coming over later from SS constructions”

“Oh I’m not sure he will be right for you”

“Why?”

“If I give you a number, give this lady a ring, I have just put right what they did at her house, she was not happy with them at all, here is Mrs Shipley’s number”

I watch as he scribbles a number down and hands it to me “Thank you I will ring her later, I look forward to hearing from you” I give him my number so he can ring

I watch as he leaves, then I hear Richard laugh

“Cam put your tongue away”

“Shut up Richard, anyway he is good looking but not a patch on Grey”

“I thought you might think that, what happened with you and him?”

“Oh God, I’m not telling you that” I can feel my face flush red

“NO I didn’t mean that, afterwards, only he was pissed yesterday both his mood and he drank a bottle of whiskey”

“Oh, nothing my brother rang early Saturday morning and I had to leave to go and look after his kids while he went to Ireland, I left him a note”

“Oh so you left before he woke up?”

“Yes but we both agreed we were not looking for anything else”

“Ok, I wonder what happened with him then”

Richard stays for a while, and then once he leaves I ring Mrs Shipley, she tells me her story and I decide to ring Simon and cancel the appointment.

I lock up the shop and walk home, it has been a long day but I have got lots of things sorted, I decide once I get home I will swim and cook myself some dinner.

Its six o clock when I get in, I prepare dinner and throw it in the oven, then quickly change into my bikini and almost run outside to swim, I can’t believe how much I’ve missed swimming, after swimming my standard of forty lengths I climb the steps out the pool, as I turn, I jump Grey is stood there.

“Jesus Grey you frightened me”

“Sorry Cam, you swim really well”

“Thank you, would you like a drink?”

“A coffee would be good thanks”

I go to walk past him as he grabs my arm and pulls me to him, I’m about to argue when his mouth lands on mine, all thoughts leave my head as he kisses me, I almost melt into him, that’s when I hear my phone ringing, I pull away “Sorry I need to get that”

I quickly walk to the kitchen and find my phone

“Hello Cam speaking”

“Hi Cam it’s Tom”

“Oh hi Tom”

“I have got you a quote, it’s a bit complicated and I have a few ideas, would it be ok to pop over and talk over some things with you?”

“Um yeah sure” I give him my address

“Ok see you in about ten minutes”

“Ok ten minutes, bye Tom”

I turn and Grey is stood there, without saying anything he walks past me and out the door. I stand there wondering what the hell is wrong with him. I then realise I’m still in my bikini, I quickly change into jeans and a T shirt just in time as the doorbell rings.

“Hi Tom, come in” ok so once he is clean and dressed in jeans he looks even better “would you like a drink?”

“Hi Cam, just a glass of water would be great thank you”

He follows me to the kitchen and I make a coffee and grab a water from the fridge and pour it into a tall glass, I remember my dinner and quickly turn the oven off. I take the drinks out to the patio and we sit with the plans on the table, after a long discussion we add some new ideas and take others away, I grab a bottle of wine and two glasses then Tom starts telling me about Latton, he knows Will, we talk about us at school and Will leaving and not coming back. Before I know it we’ve finished off the wine, I go to stand and start to feel a bit wobbly, Tom grabs my arm and tries to move in for a kiss so I try my best to push him back

“NO TOM” I shout

Before I realise what’s happening Tom is being dragged away, I see Grey push him to the kitchen, I hear raised voices, then it all goes quiet, the front door slams and I slowly walk to the kitchen and peer through the door

“Grey?”

“What the fuck Cam, do you even know him?”

“Yeah that was Tom, the builder”

“What I wasn’t good enough for you on Friday?”

“Oh yes you were, very”

“Why then? Why invite another man here? Why not invite me?”

“I didn’t realise you were a builder”

“Don’t be smart with me”

“I wasn’t” I say leaning on the counter, if I stare hard enough I can see two of him, wow

“Why are you drunk?”

“I had some wine and didn’t have dinner”

“Do you have a problem with drink?”

“Nope no problem, none at all”

“It sure looks like it, is this because of your fiancé?”

“No, how dare you bring him into this”

“I have seen the photo in your bedroom”

“Well you should not have looked should you?”

“Does he know you are like this?” he says waving his hand up and down my body

“Like what exactly?”

“Sleeping with any man that looks your way”

“GET OUT!”

“No, answer the question”

“He doesn’t know because of two things”

“And they are?”

“One he died two years ago and the only people I have had sex with in my life was him and you, now get out”

“Shit Cam, I’m sorry”

“Get out!!”

“Will you be ok, let me make you a coffee and some food?”

“Fuck off Grey before I call someone to remove you from my house”