Haven from the Storm (Storms of Life #1) (17 page)

I’d lived a good life. It was full of hard times, but in the end the good always outweighed the bad. I was born in Kolby and was blessed to spend all of my years there. The town definitely changed, but then so had the people.

I grew up in a much simpler time when there was less darkness in the world. There were those that lingered in the shadows, but they tried to remain hidden. It was a peaceful time, unless you let yourself think about such things. No one, including us Havens, were completely shielded from the harshness that was spread. All of those I loved, unfortunately, learned that lesson the hardest way possible, including me.

Even after everything I had done to protect myself, I still ended up in this hospital bed slowly withering away. Listening to Dean and Lily fight made me realize just how important my presence had been to both of them. I knew it was my time and I was more than happy to move on to the other side, but not if my absence destroyed the healing that they had accomplished recently. I will fight to stay on this earth until the second I know Lily and Dean are together, exactly where they’re meant to be. They’d both been touched by too much heartache in their lives. I’d seen my fair share of hardships, but I’d never wish those struggles on anyone I loved.

I was given two chances at my life. The first was with my husband, Rich. My marriage was not always a pleasant relationship. He wasn’t a cruel man, nor was he a kind man. We had one son together, John. He was the perfect child - loving and always considerate of everyone’s feelings. I tried to give him a sibling, but the good Lord never blessed me with a second child. Once John was old enough to have friends, he quickly latched on to Michael Grace and the two of them were practically brothers. I imagined that could explain Dean and Easton’s closeness. I always felt drawn to Easton, like he was my own flesh and blood. I loved Lily, as well. She didn’t see me as her family, like Easton did, but I knew she loved me as best she knew how.

John rebelled against his father’s heavy hand and spent most of his teen years troubled. He made decisions that hurt all of those around him. I never truly understood his reasoning, but I know it caused pain for everyone that loved him. His hurtful actions quickly drove away everyone but me, including Michael. His reckless ways finally got the best of him one drunken night when he drove his beat up truck straight into a tree. Rich left me behind shortly after John was gone. I think he couldn’t deal with the guilt that comes with burying a child and for him starting a new life was his escape.

I loved John as much as any mother ever loved her son, maybe even more in spite of his troubles. But John’s greatest blessing to me came a few months after his death when his son was born. Dean was the best gift my son could have ever left me. Dean, and those he has brought into my life over the years, will always be some of my most cherished memories. They brought me a happiness I never thought I could find.

My most prestigious achievements in life were those five children I helped grow into adults, even though only three remain on this earth. Though I am sad to leave Dean, Lily and Adley, I will be reunited with John and Easton soon.

Adley had only been a part of my life for a short time, but I watched as she quickly blossomed under the small amount of love she’d been shown. Out of all of us in our makeshift family, she had been forced to bear the greatest pain. The pain that comes with complete abandonment by those that are meant to protect you. Until our family, she knew nothing of unselfish love, having only experienced things that came at a price for her to pay. I hoped that with time and continued love she would be able to release her past and focus only on her promising future.

Dean was the first blessing that I received in this second chance at life and by the grace of God I’d been able to raise him for over twenty years. He turned out exactly how I hoped he would be. He had faults just like everyone, but he was perfect in his own way. He always attempted to protect those he loved and his spirit was broken when he felt he had failed. If anything, his greatest fault was punishing himself when his loved ones were hurt.

Lily may not have been blood relation, but to me she was just as much a part of my family as I was. I had known her sweet soul since the day the Lord placed her on earth. She was not dealt the easiest hand in life, but had grown to be a strong, capable woman who would meet those challenges head on and overcome them. Lily lived in a prison of guilt and remorse that she had carefully crafted for herself. Once Dean returned I had hoped he would be able to break down those walls and help her deal with the loss of her mother and Easton, as well as the guilt her father placed upon her. The one thing I hadn’t considered was how Dean’s own emotions would interfere.

Dean and Lily always had a deep connection. Dean and Easton may have been closer when they were all children, but any watchful eye would have seen that Dean and Lily’s souls were perfectly matched. The tragedy of losing Easton merely solidified that bond, even if it pulled them apart for a short time. I hoped one day they would both learn to lean on that bond and trust in each other.

My only regret in this life was that I wouldn’t be here to help while they struggled to find their footing and then to finally celebrate the resolution I know they will finally reach. But my time had been cut short and I could feel myself drawing closer to the end. My life had been far more fulfilling then I could have ever dreamed, but I was positive no one was ever prepared for the end to come.

Although His eye is on the sparrow, I know He watches over me.

I knew I’d regret my decision and I hadn’t even walked out the door yet.

The pain I felt would only get worse as the distance between us increased. I loved this man above all else, but sometimes loving someone just wasn’t enough. I didn’t want to be trapped any longer. I already allowed one man to control me, I refused to be victim to another. I knew he loved me just as much as I loved him, but I didn’t think my love was strong enough to hold him.

I sat on the edge of the bed watching him sleep, fearful it would be the last time I’d see his face. He actually looked peaceful for someone who was so distressed just hours ago. His hand moved next to my leg and I lightly ran my fingers across his rough palm. Even in his sleep he jerked his hand away from my touch. He was so scared someone would break down his protective walls and then abandon him, so he did the leaving first. He might not have physically left me yet, but I knew that emotionally his mind was made up. The minute we knew what would happen with Violet, he’d leave me again and never come back. I knew it was cruel to walk out on him after what we’d shared tonight, but I wasn’t going to sit idly by and watch him walk out on me, again.

I ran my eyes over his face one last time, slowly taking in all of the features and knew they would haunt me forever. I placed a soft kiss on his forehead and felt him lean his head into my kiss, but then he rolled over and faced the wall furthest away from me. I pulled the blanket up over his bare body and walked to the door, slowly turned the doorknob being careful not to make a sound as the door swung open. My heart skipped a beat as I walked through the door. Peeking over my shoulder, I saw the outline of his back in the shadows before the door latched.

The alarm on my phone blared, waking me bright and early. I think I had actually been in a tear induced coma for the last day and a half and not just simply sleeping, but I felt stronger - like I could finally face the world, or at least like I could give it my best shot. I was only dreading two things about today: feeling Dean’s empty chair beside me during science and having to attend the first day of the baseball tournament for journalism. One would be an assault on my heart and the other a huge annoyance.

Mrs. Straub stopped me as I entered my first class of the day.

“Lily, have you heard how Violet’s doing? We’re all so very worried about her.”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Straub. I haven’t talked to Adley since earlier Saturday, so I don’t know anything new,” I sadly admitted.

“Well then I can only imagine there hasn’t been a change. I’m positive she would have called you if there was something to report.” I wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince me or herself.

“I imagine you’re right.”

“When you do talk to Adley or Dean, please let them know the church is praying heavily for Violet.” She patted me on my back and led me into the room.

I hoped and prayed this wasn’t a sign of things to come today. I didn’t think I could mentally handle everyone I encountered asking me about Violet. I knew they were doing it out of true concern, but did they think I actually wanted to discuss it over and over, all day long? I hoped they would at least give me some peace. Would it be rude if I wrote on my forehead,
I don’t know anything new, so don’t ask!
I wondered if my forehead was big enough to hold that many letters.

Science class was heart wrenching. I could physically feel the coldness emanating from Dean’s corner of the room. The four walls felt too small and I thought I would have a panic attack just waiting for the bell to ring. I kept my back turned to Dean’s chair and imagined him there, mirroring my position. Luckily, Mr. Roberts kept us busy with more work then we could have ever finished in one class period. I was actually happy about the prospect of homework tonight.

I made it until lunch before another person even looked my way, much less asked me about Violet. Unfortunately, it was Ms. Bartlett that broke my lucky streak.

“Hello, Lily.” I could tell my name did not roll from her tongue easily.

“Hello, Ms. Bartlett,” I responded, but avoided her penetrating stare.

“Have you spoken with Dean today? I heard the news about Violet this weekend and I’ve been trying to get in touch with him, but he doesn’t seem to be answering his phone.” I had to work hard to suppress the territorial growl that I could feel burning in my throat.

“No, I haven’t.”

“So he isn’t answering your calls, either?” She looked very pleased with this prospect.

“No, he isn’t avoiding my calls because I haven’t tried to call him.”

“Oh. Well, fine then. I’m just surprised you haven’t heard from him.”

“Nope, I haven’t,” I snapped and watched her eyes grow larger in response.

“Well, if you speak to him, could you please pass along the message that I’m trying to get in touch with him?” I didn’t answer. I just looked away and after several seconds she finally turned to leave, allowing me to return to my solitude.

After lunch, my entire afternoon was spent at the baseball field taking pictures for my journalism class. I hated being surrounded by this many people, but was thankful to have my camera in my hands. The beautiful weather made it at least semi-enjoyable. I’d done my job for the afternoon and had taken pictures of our baseball game. I’d shot several great pictures of our players batting…and striking out. I got one of the Kolby High star player sliding in at home. Unfortunately, that was pretty much the only exciting part of the entire game and I was lucky to catch it on film. It wasn’t my best ever, but it would work for the yearbook.

Even though I’d done my duties for the afternoon, I decided to get a blanket out of the car and find a spot on the edge of the outfield to try and relax. The spot I picked placed me far enough away from the stands that I didn’t have to worry about being bothered, and it seemed like a better option than sulking in my room. I had my blanket spread out close enough to the chain link fence that I wouldn’t have to worry about being hit by a rogue foul ball.