Having Hope (The Blow Hole Boys Book 4) (15 page)

I didn’t like the fact that she was seeing me in such a weak position. I didn’t want anyone else to see me this way.

“What’s going on with you, Chet?”

Finally, I looked up. My eyes raked across her ivory skin, taking in a few of her tattoos, her slender shoulders, and long neck, before landing on her face.

She was beautiful. Most women were, but Hope held a different kind of beauty. It was silent and humble. She tried to hide it behind thickly lined eyes and tattoos, but it was there, clear as day, on her flushed cheeks and in her fathomless dark eyes.

“I just drank too much last night,” I lied without blinking.

I could see in her expression that she didn’t believe me, but I continued anyway.

“I really need to lay off the mixed drinks and nose candy,” I joked.

She didn’t smile. Instead, she shook her head.

“You have a problem, Chet. You should tell someone before it’s too late,” she said, standing and pulling her hand away from my arm.

“I do,” I agreed. “I need to lay off the drugs and drinking.”

Again, she shook her head. “That’s not the problem I’m talking about, and you damn well know it. You shouldn’t lie so much, Chet.”

I chuckled at the irony of her words.

She was calling me a liar when she’d laid the biggest lie ever on me a few nights before.

Fuck that.

“You should take your own advice,” I snapped.

Between her pushing and my pulse beating in my brain, I couldn’t continue to be the nice guy.

“Excuse me?”

“I said,” I growled. “You should take your own advice. You should stop lying, too.”

Her hands flew to her hips as her leg kicked out to the side with attitude. “And what the fuck did I lie about?” she asked.

I saw the moment realization filled her eyes, but it was too late; she had already asked the question.

I stood on shaking knees and pulled my shades from my face so I could look her in the eye.

“You lied about using me. You lied about the reason you left. You’re a liar, Hope.”

She didn’t respond.

Instead, she turned and walked away, leaving me with an aching head and stomach full of guilt.

I moved to follow her, but again, the hallway spun.

It wasn’t going to work. I couldn’t even stand up straight, much less play a set with the guys, but I had to push through. The show must go on, and so must I.

I got away from Chet as fast as I could. Even though he was obviously in distress about something, I couldn’t remain in such a small space alone with him.

This was the number one rule I gave myself.

Stay the fuck away from Chet.

He smelled so good. Whatever cologne he was wearing was making my mouth water. And his sleeveless shirt showed off all his sexy as fuck tattoos. But none of that mattered. All that mattered was that I get away from him.

No thinking about how great he smelled.

No thinking about how great he felt.

None of that.

So I left him in the hallway and went to the stage so we could finish setup for that night’s show. I felt terrible leaving him, but he kept pushing my buttons. He kept calling me out on my lie, which made me uncomfortable.

He wasn’t lost like he was last time, but he was pale and sweaty. I wasn’t sure how serious he was about the whole drinking and drugs things, but something was definitely going on with Chet. Part of me wanted to go to the guys and tell them—maybe drop a little birdie in Constance’s ear—but at the same time, I knew it was none of my fucking business.

So I kept it to myself and went to work.

*****

That night, before it was even time for the boys to go on stage, there was a knock on our bus door. Constance opened it to find Tiny, Finn, and Zeke standing there staring back at her.

“What’s up? Aren’t you guys about to go on?” she asked.

“We can’t find Chet.” I heard Tiny say.

My heart squeezed in my chest.

I shouldn’t care if he was okay, but I did.

“What do you mean you can’t find Chet?” Lena asked as she pushed around Constance.

The guys joined us on our bus, taking up a ton of space and making the bus feel three times smaller.

“When’s the last time you saw him?” I asked.

I should have stayed out of it. I really should have, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Last night on the bus,” Zeke answered.

That couldn’t be right. I’d seen him earlier in the hallway just outside setup. He looked as though he was headed to tune and set up.

“But I saw him in the hallway earlier today,” I blurted, instantly wishing I hadn’t included myself in their conversation. “He didn’t show up for prep?”

Finn shook his head. “Nope, and when I see him again, if he’s okay, I’m going to kick his ass.”

I was on the verge of telling the guys what I’d seen earlier and about the incident in Vegas when Chet was completely out of it. I was on the verge of telling them all about finding Chet lost in the hallway of our hotel, and about seeing him in the hallway earlier when he was pale and sweaty. But when I opened my mouth to talk, a loud thump sounded on the bus door.

“That’s him,” Finn said, going to the door and popping it open.

Chet climbed on board. He looked ready to go on stage in his ripped jeans and black shirt. He was ready for the show with a radiant smile plastered across his face while he twirled his sticks between his fingers.

“What’s going on? We gonna play or what?” he asked as if nothing was going on at all.

“Damn.” He whistled. “Y’all got the hookup,” he said as he took in our bus and the nice setup we had.

“Where the fuck have you been all day?” Finn asked, stepping forward. “We were worried and shit, man.”

Zeke shook his head and sighed. “I told you something was up, but nobody fucking listens to me.”

“I’m fine. Everything’s fine,” Chet said, throwing his arms out in aggravation. “I just went and bullshitted around Tallahassee, but I’m back now, and I’m ready to play this set. So let’s go, bitches.”

He didn’t even look my way before he turned and left our bus. The guys grumbled a bit before turning and following.

Something was up. Even the guys were talking about it. But still, I would keep to my own business and let the chips fall where they may when it came to Chet and his problems.

His problems.

Not mine.

*****

Before our show, I’d gone out and listened on the side stage as the boys played. Every now and again, Chet would look my way, but I pretended to be watching Finn. He didn’t need to know I was checking him out throughout the show. He didn’t need to know that I could barely keep my eyes off his naked, tattooed chest. 

Chet had a habit of stripping throughout the show. I understood. I knew how hot it got under the lights of the stage, but Chet took it to the extreme. He’d start out fully dressed, and sometimes end the show in his boxers.

It was one of those nights, and he looked amazing sweaty and glistening beneath the stage lights as he focused and put his all into playing his drums. I wanted to step on stage and move closer to him. I wanted to feel the pounding of his kick drum and the vibration of his strikes.

Somehow, I managed to stay put. Even as my body ached for the things he could do to it. I’d gone cold turkey when it came to Chet, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t craving just one more hit of him.

The girls soon joined me, and we sang along from the side of the stage. Every now and again, Tiny would step over to the side and pull Constance onto the stage for a kiss, making the crowd go wild. It was a good time, and it wasn’t long before the boys were finishing, and Finn was announcing us.

I’d never get used to the screams of the crowd when we stepped on stage. Hearing people call our names and watching them mouth our songs back to us from the front row was amazing. I rarely got to see it since I was usually parked at my set on the back of the stage, but thanks to the big screens placed around the venue, I’d get a look at them close up on occasion. 

We played a sold-out show, and the crowd was wild just the way we liked them. By the time we made it to the stage, the guys had the crowd warmed up, and most of them were fucked up out of their minds.

Men jumped on the stage in an attempt to get to one of us. One even made it all the way to Lena in time to kiss her on the cheek before the crew yanked him from the stage. Sometimes, it was scary, but we knew the crew had our backs.

By the time our show was over, I was drenched in sweat and full of so much fucking energy I thought I’d pop. We ran off the stage after playing an encore of our biggest hit, and we went straight to our bus. A crowd waited outside the venue for us, and the crew members had to block us as we ran through the hordes of screaming fans.

It was so unreal that my life had changed so much. It was unreal that people were screaming for us and wanting something … anything signed. It was a thing of beauty. Something I’d cherish for always.

I was in the back, running after the girls, when suddenly, a wall of heat blocked my path. I ran into a sweaty chest, and his scent was more disturbing than the red food stains plastered across his white T-shirt.

I pulled back, my eyes moving up the tall wall blocking my path, and my eyes clashed with a strange man staring down at me. His hands locked around the tops of my arms, and before I could stop him, his mouth came down on mine. I pulled back, my lips remaining sealed as I struggled in his hold, and once I was free, I didn’t hold back. Rearing back with my right arm, I gave him everything I had as I caught him in the nose with my fist.

His hands cupped his nose, and blood squeezed between his fingers and dripped onto his already stained shirt.

“You bitch!” he muffled through his hands.

I moved to hit him again, but before I could, someone lifted me and tossed me over their shoulder.

“Let me go!” I screamed.

I fought in their hold, struggling to get away until I noticed whoever was holding me was taking me to the bus. The girls appeared behind me with grins on their faces as I continued to cuss the person manhandling me.

“You got him so fucking good, Hope,” Lena said with a chuckle.

“Beware of the right hook.” Twiggy laughed.

They thought the shit was funny. Meanwhile, I was still raring for more.

I squirmed against a muscled arm and clawed at the back of the person carrying me.

“Keep it up, Blackbird.” Chet chuckled, smacking me on the ass. “That shit’s turning me on.”

Instantly, I stopped clawing and fighting and went limp in his hold.

We cleared the crowd, and I could hear the hum of the waiting buses and smell the burn of their diesel. Chet could have put me down since I was calm again and back in safe territory, but he didn’t. Instead, he continued to carry me until we were at the door to the Siren’s bus.

I narrowed my eyes at him the second he set me on my feet. The girls climbed the stairs onto the bus, leaving me behind with only Chet.

I panicked.

“First of all, I had that situation under control,” I said.

He shook his head. “Sure, you did.”

I ignored his sarcastic response and continued.

“Secondly, don’t ever call me Blackbird again,” I seethed.

He didn’t flinch.

Instead, he stared down at me unmoving, his eyes moving over my face as if he was searching me for something.

“I like the name,” he said. “It reminds me.”

I knew what he was talking about. I knew what he was being reminded of … our night together. But I didn’t want to remember. I was already having issues trying to forget.

“Remind you of what?” I snapped. “There’s never been anything, and there’ll never be anything to be reminded of.”

His eyes narrowed as he moved closer, pinning me against the side of the bus.

“I’m getting about sick of your fucking attitude, Blackbird.” He reached up and smoothed a strand of my hair between two fingers.

I smacked his hand away and turned my head to the side so our faces weren’t so close.

“I suggest you get used to it. The more you fuck with me, the more attitude you’re going to get.”

He moved even closer, his body pressing into mine, making me thankful it was dark out, and no one could see us. His fingers dug into my cheeks, making them ache, and I dug my nails into his hand trying to pull it away.

“Keep opening your mouth and I’ll stick something in it,” he threatened.

“I dare you, motherfucker. I’ll bite your cock off, and you know I will.”

And I would.

Either that or I’d lose myself completely and suck the flavor from his stick. He didn’t need to know how badly I wanted to taste him, though. If anything, his roughness and the way he was manhandling me was turning me on.

In the red glow of the parking lights of the buses around us, I saw his eyes shift from mine to my lips.

“I’ve never been afraid of a little nibble.”

I laughed sarcastically, tugging at his hand as I tried to free my face from his grasp.

“I don’t nibble. I bite.”

Again, his eyes moved over my face, and his fingers loosened their hold.

“I want to fuck you.”

His change in demeanor left me spinning. I knew Chet, and I understood his being rough was his form of foreplay. Hell, it was mine, too, but his switch in mood was so fast it caught me off guard.

“No.”

I said the word, but my body rebelled, sending an electric shot to my cunt. I grew wet for him, even as I narrowed my eyes at him and tried to move away from his hold.

“It’s going to happen, Hope. You might as well give in.”

He didn’t know what he was talking about because I wasn’t going to let it happen. No matter how much I wanted to feel him. No matter how much he pushed against me and promised to wreck my body.  I wouldn’t give in. I couldn’t.

I tugged weakly, my body trying to stay while my mind begged to leave, but he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer.

“First, I’m going to eat your pussy. I’m going to suck your sweet cunt until you scream and fill my mouth.” I closed my eyes, my body getting wetter with each word. My clit throbbed, begging for any sort of attention. “Then I’m going to stick my cock inside you. I’m going to fuck you so hard you come apart.”