Healing the Wolf (BBW Paranormal Romance) (Luna Junction) (4 page)

Chapter Four

Amelia jumped at the chance to accompany us to Flagstaff.  I had to nudge her into a wardrobe change since her light cotton dress would have attracted some notice on such a wintry day. 

As we drove through the center of town I saw Dieter Hoffman puttering around in front of the Luna Junction Café.  I
had no idea as to the old werewolf’s age but it seemed he had endured forever, having outlived three mates.  He waved and I was relieved there was no sign of Talon around.  It would have cast a pall on the day to find him lost to the bottle at this hour.

On the opposite corner of the Café, Sheriff Gideon Casteel brooded.  He had been only a boy when I first arrived in Luna Junction and some days it seemed impossible that he was the sheriff. 
But such was the position of the Casteels.  Before him the sheriff had been his brother, Michael.  And before that their father. 

Gideon’s mate was a huntress, a friend of Tess’s.  Artemis Casteel had been instrumental in saving Talon’s life and I was forever grateful to her and to all the hunters.  The past was the past
and there was no point in being bitter.  Whatever the hunters had been for the past millennia, they were now blood wolf allies. 

Since there was no other traffic, I paused in front of Gideon, rolling the window down.  “So I hear congratulations are in order.” 

The sheriff’s handsome face broke into a proud smile.  “Yes, thank you.”

“When is she due?”

“July.” 

I grinned with genuine
fondness.  “May the moon bless you all.” 

Gideon watched me for a moment.  I knew he was trying to thi
nk of a way to avoid asking about Talon.  As sheriff he was better informed than most of my mate’s anguished descent.   He finally nodded at the boys as they argued in the backseat.  “They’re getting big.” 

I glanced back.  With a jolt I realized John was almost the same age Gideon had been when I
had first met him.  “Yes,” I agreed.  “They are.” 

Sheriff Casteel gave me another short smile.  “Take care of the family,
Sheree.  And take care of yourself.” He waved to Amelia and stepped back to the corner where he could return to intently watching all the comings and goings of Luna Junction. 

I rolled the window back up and released a thick breath.  The boys jostled one another impatiently.

“Can we go now, Mom?” 

“You’re too old to whine, Jacob.  But yes, we’re going.” 

The drive was very loud as the boys bounced around and tried to outshout one another.  But I was happy to be out on the open road, to leave the problems of Luna Junction behind, even just for a few hours. 

Flagstaff had received even more snow than we had but the plows had already come through and tidied everything up.  The Flagstaff Mall was a modern building colored in muted tones and flanked by low hills.  There was a dazzling collection of retail and food establishments inside and though I had little money to spare, I planned on treating everyone to lunch. 

Amelia
was practically slack-jawed as she looked around.  Many stores had tastefully decorated for the following day, Valentine’s Day. I pursed my lips when I saw the bright collections of hearts and cupids.  I had forgotten. 

“It’s beautiful,” Amelia breathed, and with some amusement I noted the interest she provoked in the young
human men who passed.  Their eyes would skate over me briefly, noting my age and shape of my body and then fasten on Amelia’s comely figure.  I could practically see the drool running out of their mouths. 

Amelia noticed too and smiled playfully at a few of them.  I took her arm.  “Not a good idea,” I warned her, thinking of my cousin’s temptation. And ruin. 

Her eyes were innocent.  “Why not?  Males can take human females as mates.  Just look at Cade Landon.”

“Yes,” I agreed.  “But that caused a small stir,
you’ll remember, even though Cade’s mother was human.”  I chose my words carefully, trying to explain.  The girl was unworldly enough to get into some real trouble.  “It’s just different for females, Amelia.  You know that.  Our choices are different.” 

She was thoughtful.
  “Did you have a choice?” she asked quietly. 

“Yes,” I said firmly.  “I was not forced to be mated to your brother.”

She turned and stared at me.  We had never spoken to one another so frankly.  “Then why did you?”

The boys capered about in front of us, a goofy carefree montage
.  I thought about the answer to her question and finally shrugged.  “He was what I wanted.” 

Amelia
seemed to accept that, nodding.  “I never told you,” she said, “but I always thought Talon was damn lucky you agreed to put up with him.” 

I grinned wryly
. “Yes, he was.” 

The mall was fairly crowded with people making last minute purchases for Valentine’s Day.  We passed a Hallmark store which was lavishly decorated with various red and pink hearts.  I closed my eyes, feeling a heartsick pang of old hurt. 

Hearts were the symbol for love.  I always knew that, even though Valentine’s Day was a purely human holiday.  Still, ten years ago I was young and newly mated.  A child grew in my belly and though he was difficult and remote, I was deeply in love with Talon Ivanov. 

***

He was utterly perplexed when he walked through the door of the cabin.  I had cut over a hundred hearts out of red and pink paper and hung them from the ceiling with lengths of twine.  The hearts scraped the top of his head as he made his way to the table where his dinner waited. 

“What’
s all this crap?” he muttered, roughly removing his shirt and taking his seat. 

I kissed him on the cheek.  “It’s Valentine’s Day.” 

Talon blinked at me, then picked up his steak with his right hand and tore a bloody mouthful off. 

I felt the need to educate him.  “Valentine’s Day.  You know, when you celebrate
LOVE.  With the one you LOVE!”  I was aware that my voice had grown shrill. 

Talon watched me and chewed his meat.  Finally he grunted and swallowed.  “Human
bullshit,” he shook his head and took another bite. 

I glared at him, my fists clen
ched.  Talon continued to concentrate on his dinner, ignoring me.  Honestly I wanted to grab that steak and shove it straight up his flaring left nostril. 

Instead I flew into a rage and began tearing all the paper hearts down.  I j
umped up and yanked them free at a time, savaging them in my hands before throwing them to the ground.

Talon stood. 
“Sheree!” 

I paid him no mind and continued ripping down what had taken m
e all afternoon to create.  The hearts fluttered to the floor in broken pieces. 

Talon cursed and came up behind me, grabbing my hands as I reached for another heart.  I spun around and beat my fists on his bare chest.  “ASSHOLE!”  I screamed. 

He allowed me to strike him over and over again.  Until the sides of my fists became bruised and red from colliding with his hard muscles.  Then, when I began to tire, he circled my wrists in his strong hands and pulled them down. 

I whimpered as he backed me
hard into the wall.  Not from pain, but because he had opened his pants and allowed his swollen organ to assert itself.  I was already wet with want, moaning as he impatiently tore my clothing away, lifting me up.  My legs went around his waist, welcoming his rigid need into my slippery center.  I gasped when he rammed into me.  He clutched my fleshy hips and pounded me against the wall.  Talon opened me wider and showed no restraint.  And as my thunderous climax descended, I was glad… 

***

“Are you okay, Sheree?” 

Amelia’s green eyes watched me worriedly.  Unco
nsciously I had pressed my forehead against the storefront glass. A red heart-shaped balloon bobbed against the window on the other side, staring impassively.

I backed away and tried to give Amelia
a watery grin.  “I’m fine,” I said.  “Hey, I’m sure the boys are hungry.  Let’s walk over to the food court.”

The boys, after much debate, discu
ssion and tearful arguing, finally unanimously decided on pizza.  Amelia opted to try a slice herself and so a group of Luna Junction werewolves sat down at the Flagstaff Mall with slices of pizza. 

All around us, people chatted and ate and went about their business.  I wondered what it was like.  To be human, with human problems and expectations.
Was it any easier?  Surely there were struggles all over.  They just weren’t always visible.  To be human… I would bet at the heart of it all, it’s no different. 

“What?”  Amelia stared at me and I blushed, realizing I had spoken aloud. 
 

I took a sip of my fountain soda.  “Are you happy, Amelia?”

Her eyes flickered with surprise.  I realized it was likely the first time anyone had asked her that.  “Mama needs me,” she said. 

“Wouldn’t you like to mate?  Have a family of your own?”

Amelia picked at her pizza slice.  The boys for the most part were so engrossed in their food they didn’t notice anything else.  Only John watched us, listening. 

“Maybe,” she said.  “It’s just…it seems hard.”  Her pretty face frowned.  “You know, when you’re little it sounds so wonderful.  Some strong alpha carries you off and you’re mated happily ever after.  Just like that.”

“Just like that,” I nodded. 

She shook her head.  “Except it’s not.  I mean, Daddy was barely around when he was alive.  It did things to Mama.
  And Amy, how she fell to pieces after Anton’s death.  So much pain.”  Amelia raised her eyes carefully. “And then there’s you and Talon.”

I glanced over at
John.  He was still listening.  I touched Amelia’s pale hand.  “They never tell us,” I said quietly.  “That it isn’t easy.” I looked over at my four boys, the flesh and blood creations of my union with Talon Ivanov.  “But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth having.”

Amelia leaned across the table, her face determined.  “Would you do it differently,
Sheree? If you could?”

I let the question sink into me.  My ey
es closed and behind them were ten thousand images linked to ten thousand feelings.  Lust, anger, despair, tenderness, exasperation, desire, fear.  Love.  I opened my eyes and saw the brightly colored food court.  “No,” I said flatly, “I wouldn’t do it differently.” 

The
boys stared at me curiously when I stood abruptly from the table. 

“We’re not done yet,” Jacob complained. 

I shouldered my purse.  “It’s all right.  You’re going to stay here with your Aunt for a few minutes.  Mommy needs to buy something.”  I looked at Amelia.  “I’ll be back in ten minutes.”

She took a hesitant bite of her pizza.
  A girl used to consuming bloody flanks of flesh five minutes removed from life was cautious about eating pizza.  Amelia swallowed. “Take your time,” she said.  “We’re fine right here.” 

I walked de
terminately away from the bright food court.  I’d meant what I said to Amelia.  I wouldn’t have chosen any other mate, nor any other life, besides the one I’d built with Talon.  In all our years, in all our struggles, there had always been one way we reached each other.  There was one way we were perfect together, in flawless sync and understanding.

And by the moon, I was going to make him remembe
r it. 

Chapter Five

“But why do we have to stay at Kate’s?” John asked me with a frown.  His brothers had already gleefully disappeared into the cabin with Amelia. 

“Because Daddy and I need some time alone together.” 

John rolled his eyes.  “If he even comes home.”

“John,” I warned. 

His face, so much a younger version of Talon’s
, was pained.  “When is he going to be like he was?”

I looked out the window.  Werewolves, even females, didn’t cry often.  But I had done more than my share these past months.  “I don’t know, John.  But I’m going to try like hell to help get him there.” 

My oldest son nodded, looking wiser than his years.  “All right, Mom.  Just don’t leave us with that crazy lady for long.”  He hugged me briefly and then hopped out of the truck. 

I leaned back into the cool leather of the driver’s seat and let my gaze trail toward the woods.  For months after my arrival I’d yearned for Claw Creek Landing.  For home and the comfort of being a Chevalier.  But gradually, this had become my home.  Talon had become my home.

For those breathless full moons before I had become heavy with child, as well as a few rare ones in between, Talon and I had run together in these woods.  Though he was far faster, he always kept his gait even so as not to leave me behind.  It was the headiest sensation, running with my mate.  Only eclipsed by the desperate way he would bury himself inside of me afterwards. 

I’d been so lost in thought I had failed to sense her arrival. 
Kate stood beside the driver’s side of the truck.  I rolled the window down.  “I guess I should have asked you first.” 

She looked at me sharply.  “You know I will always take my grandsons in.  Where are you going,
Sheree?”

“Home.  To wait for Talon.” 

“And then what?” 

I sn
orted.  “You really want the details, Kate?” 

She stared at me doubtfully.  “And what will that accomplish?” 

I eased the truck’s engine to life.  “I’m not sure.”  I remembered Javier’s words.  “But I’m not going to stop trying.”  As I started to back the truck out I remembered something.  “Just no bloody meat for the boys, okay?”

She shrugged, a vague smile on her face.  “
I promise at least it won’t be dripping.” 

“Well,”
I muttered, piloting the truck toward the road which led to home.  “That’s something.” 

It was only mid-afternoon and I had no idea
what time Talon would return.  I remembered what John had said.  What if he didn’t come home?  I brushed off the doubt.  He would come home, eventually. 

In the bedroom I carefully extracted the purchase I had made at the mall.  It was a lacy short gown of black lingerie. 
I had never owned such a thing.  But something special was needed to punch a hole in Talon’s wall.  To make him see me. And tonight he was going to see me.  Tonight I was going to reclaim my mate. 

I stripped my clothes off and stepped in the bathroom
, eyeing my body critically in the bathroom vanity.  I had gained a few pounds since that long ago night Talon had taken me.  But that wasn’t all.  Time and the trauma of childbearing had taken a toll.  I touched the stretch marks which had raggedly clawed their way into existence as I carried my babies inside my body.  I ran my hands over the breasts which had always been full and heavy, but now drooped slightly as well from the years of breastfeeding.

Talon had never once complained about my body or looked on my naked skin with anything other than hungry passion.  Whatever other difficulties stood between us, he had always wanted me as intensely as I wanted him. 
I was counting on that. 

The lingerie went smoothly over my curves.  Even I admitted that I looked sexy.  Talon had never cared for makeup so I didn’t trouble about it.  I brushed my long hair and flared it seductively around my shoulders.  Then I settled into one of the hard kitchen chairs.  And waited. 

Other women, even werewolves, could call their mates on a cell phone to find out when to expect their arrival.  The thought of Talon with a cell phone was so preposterous I laughed out loud.  He would never allow anyone to track him so closely.

***

“Where the fuck have you been?”  I was on him even before he finished walking through the door. 

I let out a cry
of anger when I saw he held his bundled clothes in his hands.  I tried to snatch them away but he held them out of my reach, and merely stood there, naked and coldly glaring. 

“Shifting?” I hissed.   “You’ve been running under the goddamn moon while I’ve been here worried to pieces over our sick baby?” 

Something registered in his face.  “I didn’t know he was sick.”  He threw down his clothes and in two long strides reached the crib. 

“Of course not.  And moon forbid there should be any way to reach you.” 
I crossed my arms.  Already another child grew inside of me but since Talon hadn’t said more than three sentences to me in as many days I didn’t feel obliged to inform him. 

Talon picked up the baby and held him to his chest.  “He’s burning up.” 

My heart lurched.  “I know.”  I winced when I felt John’s tiny head.  I had already made a decision.  “I’m taking him to Flagstaff.” 

Talon stared down at the baby for a moment.  He didn’t believe in doctors, even werewolf doctors like the small practice which operated out of Flagstaff and saw to our kind.  But he swallowed.  “All right.” He handed the baby to me and pulled his pants on.  “Let’s go.” 

Three wearying hours later we returned.  John slept on Talon’s shoulder, already dosed with the antibiotics which would soon clear up his double ear infection.  It had been an uncomfortable drive and a tense wait for the doctor. 

I’d thought it would get better, that fatherhood would change him.  I was angry at my own stupidity.  Talon thought of the wolf first.  If the wolf wanted to run, he ran.  To hell with the mate who waited at home. 

Talon carefully placed the baby in the crib.  For the first time he looked as tired as I felt as he frowned down at our son. 

“What?” I said sharply. 

He shook his head.  “It’s just, he’s so fragile.  I know someday he’ll be strong, but now…” Talon’s voice trailed off.  I thought I knew what he meant.  That it hurt the heart to watch the struggles of this small creature you’d grown to love more than yourself.  But those weren’t things Talon Ivanov could say. 

I, however, had something to say.  “Get used to it,” I told him
coldly.  “The next one will be along soon.” 

I waited for something from
him.  A flash of joy, of anxiety, something.  But he only stared at me in that maddeningly inscrutable way.  As we regarded one another across the small room the chasm between us seemed wider than ever. 

Talon turned to stare out the dark window.  I turned back to the bedroom.  “I’m going to sleep now.”

“Good,” he said without a shred of warmth.

***

As the light filtered through the windows and played across the rustic furniture, mostly handmade by Talon, I continued to wait.  Finally the sky began to darken and the temperature dropped precipitously.  I had heard on the radio on the way home from Flagstaff that another storm was imminent.  The wind picked up and began to whistle ominously. 

I crossed my
arms across my chest.  My backside was growing numb from sitting so long in the chair.  And even I, a werewolf of Chevalier extraction, was becoming cold.  My thoughts turned to the boys and I hoped Kate knew enough to cover them.  Little ones were not as hardy as adults. 

Another hour ticked past.  I wouldn’t move.  If I had to wait all night and into the next day
then that’s what I would do.  When Talon walked through the door I was damn well going to be the first thing he laid eyes on. 

I felt
him before I heard him.  Wolves could nearly always sense one another even when in human form, and there could be no mistaking the approach of my mate.  He fumbled with the knob for a moment and then opened the door in a swirl of winter chaos. 

“Talon,” I called. 

He looked up.  His eyes were bleary and despite the frigid temperature his shirt was wide open.  Of course the half empty whisky bottle was likely keeping him warm.  Talon took a drink from the bottle, watching me.  His right arm hung casually at his side, evidence of his drunken state.  Usually in my presence he took pains to tuck it away. 

I rose slowly from the chair, noticing the way his eyes raked me over.  He scowled. “What the hell are you wearing?”

Deliberately I allowed one strap to fall.  “I don’t have to be wearing anything.”

He took another drink.  “Where are the boys?”

“At your mother’s.”  I moved closer to him, closing the door in the face of the shrieking wind.  I leaned forward and closed my hand around the neck of the neck of the bottle.  Talon inhaled sharply when I ran my hands over the hard contours of his chest.  “It’s just us all night.”  I touched him then, smiling over the enormous bulge in his pants.  However, when I removed the bottle from his hand he swore and snatched it back. 

“Fucking needy female,” he grumbled, taking another drink. 

“I think you’re pretty fucking needy yourself.”  I pointed between his legs. 

He took another drink.  “What the hell do you want,
Sheree?” 

I pushed the lingerie off my shoulders and let it puddle to the floor.  “You, Talon.  I want you.” 

The madness of lust was in his eyes but he turned away.  “No.” 

I shoved him in the back, taunting.  “What kind of a werewolf doesn’t want to mate?”

He slowly turned around and his look was murderous.  “The kind who can’t fucking RUN!”  He screamed the last word and shifted with a suddenness which made me gasp.  His clothing tore to pieces and the whiskey bottle fell to the floor with a mighty crash.  The giant dark wolf who was Talon Ivanov faced me on three legs, snarling.   His fourth leg was bent at the joint, several inches above the floor, missing its paw.

I
stared him down, keeping my voice cold.  “So what?”

He shifted back, standing again on two legs.  “I’m not a man,” he said quietly.  “And I’m not a whole wolf.  Not anymore.”  He grimaced painfully.  “John.  He’s a few years away from maturity, from shifting age.  Who will teach him?”

“You will.”

Talon gave me a look which froze the core of my soul.  The words he said next were not ones I had ever expected to hear.  Or would ever have welcomed.  “Follow your sister.”

My jaw dropped.  “What?”

“Take the boys and return to the Chevaliers.” 

I wanted to hit him.  I wanted to call him a fucking coward and beat him with my fists until he opened my legs and entered me in a frenzy.  But that wouldn’t work.  Not this time.

I picked up the lingerie and clutched it to my chest.  “All right,” I said.  “We can make arrangements tomorrow.  Tonight
I won’t stay in the same damn house with you so I’m going to your mother’s.”

Once in the bedroom I dressed quickly.  I’d been foolish to think I could sway him so easily.  However I felt remarkabl
y clear headed as I pulled on a pair of old boots.  I knew what needed to be done.

Talon stood precisely where I had left him.  There was no hint of emotion in his face. 

“You may as well use the bed,” I told him.  “Since you’ll be staying here alone.”  I grabbed the truck keys, my hand on the knob of the front door. “Goodbye, Talon Ivanov.” 

I did not await his answer.  I closed the door behind me. 

The night was already thick with falling sleet and snow but I wasn’t frightened.  I knew these woods by this time as well as any Ivanov. 

Javier had built his cabin further away than Kate would have liked but as long as he kept her daughter in the woods she didn’t complain.  There wasn’t much of a road leading to their place but I found it easily enough. 

Tess ran into the snow before I even turned the ignition off.  Javier was immediately at her side. 

“What’s wrong?” she breathed. 

I jumped out of the truck and opened my mouth to the sky, catching a few snowflakes.  “Nothing,” I said.  “Everything.” 

The young couple looked at me worriedly.  Javier nudged Tess.  “Why don’t we all go inside?”

Their home was small and cozy.  Javier was of the human world but he had adapted swiftly to the werewolf life with a mate at his side.  I noted their neat pallet in the corner and smiled.  Tess must have managed to persuade Javier away from the comforts he was born to, such as a bed. 

Tess regarded me with uncertainty.  “Are you hungry?”

“No,” I said.  “Not at all.” 

She looked at her mate with a question in her eyes.  He shrugged. 

“I guess you’re wondering what in the moon I’m doing here.”  I sighed and sank down to the floor, crossing my legs.

Tess and Javier knelt down next to me.

“Talon?” Javier asked. 

“Talon,” I said bitterly.  “He told me to leave.”