Heart Matters (18 page)

Jake gave a weak nod. “I get it, ok, I get
it. I’m not going near her.” He coughed and spat out blood.

“And her pictures,” Mark trapped one of
Jake’s hands under his shoe and scrunched it as a last warning, “If
they ever surface anywhere, Jake, I
will
come and kill you.
You know that’s your last bargaining chip so I suggest you heed my
warning.”

With that he left but knew in his heart it
wasn’t the last he was seeing of Jake. If only Jake did not have
those pictures. He would be through with the bastard forever!

Jeff held open the door of the limousine
that would take Jessica and him to the little church where the
wedding was to take place. They were having a church wedding on
Steven’s insistence. His last minute decision had surprised her for
she had not thought him to be particularly religious. She also had
no idea how he arranged for it in such short a time.

Jeff was there for her as always and she
nestled against him for the feeling of security he could give her.
He smiled at her affectionately, kissing her forehead. “I never
thought I would be giving away my precious angel to Steve. He’s a
very lucky man.”

Jessica managed a frail smile for him but
buried her head in his chest so that he would not see the unshed
tears in her eyes. It was still difficult for her to accept that
she was not marrying for love. The marriage erased all the beliefs
and values she cherished.
So what if it did?
she thought
bravely, a
t least she would never again have painful strings
pulling at her heart.

When they arrived at the church, she
straightened her spine trying to appear courageous and determined.
She had decided she would never show her weakness to Steven. After
her unpleasant encounter with Ida, she had oddly begun to feel
insecure about him. Her heart wished there had been some stability
in their relationship but her head knew otherwise. He didn’t want a
clinging vine but a woman who would give just as much in return as
he gave. It was a mutual understanding on their part and she wasn’t
about to let her confused feelings overrun it.

***

The church Steven had selected was something
right out of a fairytale book. It seemed ancient but well
maintained. Although small, it held a strange dignified quality
about it that somehow soothed Jessica’s high strung nerves. It was
also free of the paparazzi that usually managed to pop up whenever
Steven was around and that relieved her. She really didn’t want the
world’s prying eyes on this day that mattered so much to her.

“Shall we?” Jeff asked, smiling lovingly
down at her. She gazed into his eyes that matched her own and took
the arm he offered. If there was a day she wanted to remember, this
was it. She squared her shoulders with determination and raised her
chin defiantly. They hadn’t had a rehearsal making her anticipate
everything that was about to happen as a surprise in itself.

The doors to the church opened as if by
magic and the music for the bridal march started playing. Jessica’s
breath hitched and stuck where it was for a breathless moment. The
piece was ‘From this moment’ by Shanai Twain; one of her favorites!
She now remembered casually mentioning it to Steven on one of their
dates that she simply loved that song. He had remembered! A
wavering smile flirted around her lips even as her eyes shone with
unshed tears.
He had remembered!

With Jeff by her side, Jessica took the
first step towards the altar and the man who waited patiently for
her.

Steven turned to watch her as she entered
and her heart flipped irreversibly. Sudden tears leapt in her eyes
as she took in a scene she would never forget.

Steven looked overwhelmingly handsome in his
deep silver colored suit. His honey golden hair caught just the
right light to shine radiantly and if ever his eyes were a deeper
blue, they were on this day. They caught and held her gaze sending
a very personal message. He was ready to be hers, was she too?

Jessica began walking towards him,
whispering the words of the song playing for her.

From this moment life has
begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on
From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on
I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on
You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you
From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on

Steven caught the bright tears in Jessica’s
eyes and a dull pain settled in his heart. She wasn’t ready.
Perhaps she would never be but he was determined. If there ever was
a thing Steven Hart wanted in his life, it was this woman. He
wanted not just her body but her heart as well. The sudden thought
jumped at him from nowhere and a small tremor passed through him.
Where did that come from? He hadn’t felt this way about any woman
before. Not even Ida, for he always knew her for the cold-hearted
bitch that she was. Then where did the overwhelming obsession for
Jessica stem from? Maybe it was the entire act of the wedding that
was betraying his determination to keep their relationship purely
physical. The church, the music, the flowers and the bride herself
in her virginal gown. Maybe this feeling would just go away once he
was out of here. He was determined to make it.

With that, he held out his hand for Jessica
and when she placed her gloved hand in his, his determination flew
out the church window. His breath caught as he stood with her
before the priest who started the ceremony.

The priest went through oft heard words and finally
said, “Steven Philip Hart and Jessica Leah Cantrell, have you come
here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each
other in marriage?"

Steven and Jessica both mumbled, “Yes”.

"Will you honor each other as man and wife for the
rest of your lives?"

Steven released his hands that were so far clutched
before him and took Jessica’s one hand while her other held the
bouquet of white orchids. She glanced at him in surprise and was
struck by the strange look of sincerity in his eyes.

“Yes,” they answered in unison.

"Will you accept children lovingly from God, and
bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

Steven and Jessica both gulped their eyes
searching each others. He nodded at her ever so slightly and they
said yes again.

The priest went on
unperturbed. “
Since it is your
intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and
declare your consent before God and his Church.”

Steven turned to face Jessica and took both her
hands in his even as she clutched her bouquet. His eyes held hers
with every strange emotion he had ever felt reflecting in them. He
cleared his throat and began his marriage vows.

“I, Steven Philip Hart, take you, Jessica Leah
Cantrell, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times
and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor
you all the days of my life.”

Jessica gazed at Steven, her eyes bright with unshed
tears. A muscle twitched in his jaw and she felt a strange emotion
pass from him to her. It was almost as if he meant all that he had
just said. Her mouth was dry, her throat parched. This was it. This
was the moment in her life she had waited for so long. How could
she lie?

“I, Jessica Leah Cantrell, take you, Steven Philip
Hart, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times
and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor
you all the days of my life.” When she finished, she felt
breathless because she saw Steven smile ever so gently at her.

"What God has joined, men must not divide" The
priest declared. “Do you have the rings?”

Sean and Lynn both
presented the rings to the priest who blessed and gave them to
Steven and Jessica.

Steven took Jessica’s left
hand and slipped the ring on her finger. “Jessica
Leah
, take this ring as a sign of
my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son,
and of the Holy Spirit.”

Jessica fought the butterflies that were suddenly
floating in her stomach and placing the wedding ring on Steven’s
ring finger she whispered breathlessly, “Steven Hart, take this
ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father,
and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”

“By the power vested in me, I declare you,
husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”

Steven raised Jessica’s veil with fingers
that trembled because of the strong emotion raging through him. His
wife! Jessica was his wife! He bent down and pressed his lips to
hers gently.

Jessica’s eyes closed and when she felt
Steven’s soft kiss, tears rolled down her cheeks.

Steven sucked in sharply as he felt the
tears hit his cheeks. He moved back to regard Jessica with an
unknown emotion. He suddenly gave her a cocky grin and whispered.
“Chicken?”

His question caught her off guard and a soft
laugh escaped her lips. She shook her head, blushing terrifically
and hastily accepted his kerchief to wipe her cheeks. He laughed
then and they turned to face the guests who were clapping, whooping
and crying happy tears.

***

“You make a very becoming bride,” Steven
remarked as he took a seat beside Jessica in the car that would
take them to Jeff’s home where they were to have a small luncheon
party.

She managed polite thanks, her heart
pounding so loudly that she was sure it could be heard all the way
to the next block. She still could not believe she was married.
Married!
Wife to the man who sat next to her. She stole a
quick glance at his exceptionally handsome face.

He caught her peeking and grinned broadly
making her heart skip a beat. “Like what you see?”

“N..no,” she stammered caught off guard, “I
mean yes.” She looked into his blue eyes and blushed deeply. “You
are looking very handsome.”

He laughed throwing his head back. “Are you
saying that to please your
husband
?”

Her heart leapt in her mouth at the sound of
that word.
Husband
. He was
her husband
. She drew in a
sharp breath. “I don’t say things I don’t mean.”

His blue gaze was suddenly serious. “Then, I
must thank you for the compliment.” He leaned towards her and
kissed her. The gesture was so gentle and tender that she felt
close to tears. She closed her eyes firmly to stop them but they
flowed down her cheeks unchecked.

“Hey, don’t cry. Did I do something to hurt
you?”

She shook her head vigorously feeling him
cup her face and brush away her tears. She opened her ashamed eyes
to find the blue depths gazing at her with a tenderness she had not
known existed. It took her breath away and she licked her lower lip
nervously. “I..I’m sorry for being so..silly.”

“Don’t be,” he ordered, taking her in his
arms. He cradled her head on his wide chest and gently caressed her
back. “It’s all right, Jessica. I understand your fears. But don’t
be afraid. I may not have told you this but I don’t intend to
consummate this marriage till you’re ready.”

His confession surprised her. Since
sex
was the basis of their marriage, she had not expected
this generosity from him. He drew back to make her face him. “But I
can’t promise to wait forever, Jessica. I have my needs and when I
have such a beautiful wife I would not want to seek my pleasure
elsewhere.”

A pang of guilt hit Jessica. He had sensed
her anxiety and was being honest with her. She had to be honest
with him too. She touched the heavy wedding ring on her finger
timidly. “I have made a commitment to you with this marriage,
Steven. You will not be disappointed.”

His deep gaze held her own earnest one and
he admired her sense of loyalty. He had come across it once before
when she had been engaged to Warring. Now she was relying on the
same virtue to see her through this relationship. He bent his head
and kissed her lingeringly. When he finished the kiss and looked
into her haunted eyes, he felt the strange possessive emotion he
had felt before. Somehow he knew she was made for him. The feeling
was so strong that it threatened to consume him and he absently
shook his head to clear it. It was probably the exertion of the
day. He sat back releasing her so abruptly that she wondered if she
had done something wrong.

Jessica chose to remain silent and lay her
head on the back of the seat mentally preparing herself for the
party later in the evening. She hoped things would work out slowly
and the initial awkwardness would disappear. In any case, she
intended to give her best to her marriage. That was the only way
she could actually remain sane.

After the luncheon, Steven headed with few
of his closest guests to his apartment for a drink session before
the reception party later that evening. Jessica chose to remain at
Jeff’s place where she would dress up and join her husband later.
Cheryl had insisted she rest a while because she was looking a bit
too pale and tired. Jessica had welcomed the suggestion. Being
around Steven was proving to be emotionally exhausting for her. On
one hand his mere touch made her skin sizzle and on the other, she
felt she was cheating herself.