Heart of a Texan (11 page)

She’d been so deep in thought she hadn’t been aware that the mule had wandered off the trail onto a grassy area that had been covered in Texas bluebonnets a few months earlier. Now lantana and Indian blanket clustered around prickly pear cactus. The straggly heads of a few Mexican hats were visible among the grass. She pulled back on the reins.

“You’ll find plenty to eat at home without the chance of getting a thorn in your mouth,” she told the mule when he resisted her efforts to pull him back to the trail. A final tug reminded the animal of his duty, and she was soon on her way home. Things were worse than she thought when she was so preoccupied she hadn’t even known the buggy had come to a stop. She wouldn’t see Nate again. He didn’t need her, and she needed to get him out of her system before it was too late.

***

Boone was waiting for her when she got home.

“What are those men doing here?” he asked before she had alighted from the buggy.

“What men?” She knew who he meant, but she resented his tone.

“Those cowhands. They’re Nate Dolan’s men, aren’t they?”

She allowed him to help her down from the buggy. She immediately started leading the mule toward the barn. “If you’ve been here long enough to know who they are, then you know what they’re doing.”

“I told you I’d hire someone who knew what he was doing. Between those bumblers and Crazy Joe, you’re liable to have a jerry-built mess that will blow down in the first wind.”

“Joe is not crazy. And I doubt Nate would have sent those boys if he didn’t believe they knew enough to rebuild the barn.”

“Why would he do that? You shot him.”

“He wanted to help.”

“I wanted to help.”

“You wanted to do everything for me. That’s different.”

“I don’t see how.”‘

When they drew near the barn, Joe came to meet her. “Joe will unharness the mule,” he said.

“Thank you. How have things gone today?”

“Everything is torn down. Joe will get wood tomorrow.”

Roberta looked at what was left of the barn. About two thirds had been pulled down. “I don’t know that I have enough money to pay for that much wood.”

“I’ll buy the wood,” Boone offered.

“I couldn’t let you do that.”

“Why not? Nate is practically a stranger, but you let him send his men to help you. I want to marry you, yet you’ve refused my help.”

She could understand why Boone would feel slighted, but he didn’t understand that he was crowding her. She had never said she loved him and had repeatedly told him she was going back to Virginia. In spite of that, he’d pursued her doggedly. He refused to take any of her objections seriously. He seemed to think all he had to do was keep asking, and she’d eventually relent. He hadn’t been backward in pointing out that marriage to him would be very advantageous. He was an important man in Slender Creek, owned two thriving businesses, and was said to be the most eligible bachelor within a hundred miles.

“Okay. I’ll let you buy the wood, but I’ll pay you back.”

“I don’t need your money.”

“Maybe not, but I don’t want to be in debt to you.”

“Why don’t you mind being in debt to Nate?”

“It’s not the same. If you had offered to work with Joe, I wouldn’t have felt obliged to pay you.”

“I have more money than free time. Letting me hire someone to rebuild your barn would have been better for both of us.”

“You are bothering Miss Roberta,” Joe said to Boone. “Joe wants you to go away.”

“I’m not bothering Roberta,” Boone objected. “I’m trying to help her.”

“Miss Prudence said Joe was not to let anybody upset Miss Roberta.”

“You’d better go,” Roberta said to Boone.

“He works for me. He knows I wouldn’t hurt you.”

“He’ll do what Prudence says regardless of what either you or I say. I’ll let you buy the wood, but I will pay you back as soon as I can.”

Boone wanted to argue, but he knew Joe well enough to understand what Roberta said was true. “I sometimes wonder if Prudence and Crazy Joe aren’t more trouble than they’re worth.”

“I wouldn’t have survived the attack without them.”

“If you’d married me, you wouldn’t have to worry about any of this.”

“But I didn’t. Now you’d better go before Joe gets upset.”

“I can’t believe I’m being driven away so a half-wit won’t get upset.”

“If you keep talking about Joe like that,
I’m
going to get upset.”

“I’ll see that the lumber is here tomorrow, and I’ll make damned sure Prudence puts me on the list of men
Joe
is supposed to allow on your land. I suppose it’s too much to ask for a kiss.”

***

Nate rode on a loose rein. He was going to see Roberta because she hadn’t come to see him. Common sense told him he should stay home and work on getting better, get to know more about his ranch and the work Russ and the other men were doing, but neither seemed as important as seeing Roberta. He had several reasons to offer if she wanted to know why he was visiting when he shouldn’t yet be in the saddle. He expected she’d know they were excuses, but that didn’t stop him. This attraction was something new for him. For the first time his parents’ rejection didn’t hurt quite so much. Finding Laveau didn’t seem absolutely essential. Logic said a rancher should have nothing to do with a farmer, especially one who disliked Texans. His responsibility for his ranch and his duty to his neighbors would be best served by convincing her to abandon the farm. Her marriage to Boone Riggins would be better for her and for the whole community. The last thing she needed was to fall in love with a man who couldn’t escape his past.

Rather than dissuade him, every obstacle seemed to encourage him to persist. He didn’t have to remind himself it wasn’t logical, that it wasn’t smart. He already knew that and didn’t care. For once he was going to do something he wanted to do despite a list of reasons why it was the one thing he
shouldn’t
do. Just knowing that made him feel good. It made him feel better than good. He felt the best he had in years, the most hopeful he could remember. The hole in his shoulder was an inconvenience that would soon disappear. Everything else was a matter of perspective. Change the way he looked at things, and obstacles could suddenly become opportunities. Even the brittle summer landscape—the lush flowers of spring supplanted by less vibrant colors—seemed to be nature resting rather than defeated by heat.

It was with that hopeful frame of mind that he brought his horse to a stop in front of Roberta’s farmhouse. It was a modest building, but just seeing it generated a warmth in him that his own home didn’t. It wasn’t particularly attractive or well-appointed, but there was a friendliness about it that brought a smile to his face. It was comfortable with itself, unpretentious, unambitious.

He laughed softly, shook his head. He must be crazy talking about a house like it was a person. He dismounted carefully to avoid putting any strain on his wound. He hitched his horse, climbed the steps, and knocked on the door. He wasn’t surprised when he got no answer. Knowing Roberta, she would be in the fields until she was too tired to work any longer. He could hear the sound of hammering coming from the direction of the barn, so he decided to see how the boys were getting along with Crazy Joe.

Leaving his horse at the house, he headed down the lane toward the barn. He was pleased to see that many of the tomato plants were showing signs of recovery. The beans and peas looked like they’d been through a tornado, leaves shredded and stems twisted or ripped off. He could only imagine the many hours of backbreaking work it had taken to go through the fields, working on one plant at a time. Even though he still thought trying to farm in this part of Texas was foolhardy, he had to admire her determination.

When he reached the barn, he was surprised to see they were building, rather than tearing down. The fresh-cut lumber formed a stark contrast to the weathered or smoke-blackened wood that survived the fire. He wondered where Roberta had gotten the money to pay for the new lumber. Had Otis Parker changed his mind about giving her a loan?

Carlin and Webb were standing on the skeleton of the barn framing the roof. Crazy Joe was passing up pieces of lumber with ease that the boys handled with difficulty. As Nate reached the corner to the barn, a voice called out to him.

“What are you doing here? You ought to be home in bed.”

Roberta didn’t want to acknowledge the abrupt lift in her spirits or the smile she couldn’t keep from her lips. She could make her words sound severe, but she was sure her eyes sparkled with welcome. It was no use. She was beguiled by Nate Dolan. She could only hope it was no more than that.

Yesterday had been one of the most difficult days of her life. It seemed that staying away from Nate had only served to anchor him more firmly in her thoughts. He was in the beans she picked and delivered to Boone’s restaurant. He was in the butter she churned, in the eggs she collected, even in the ham she fried for supper. His spirit pervaded her father’s bedroom so thoroughly he might as well have been there in person. Today had been so much worse she’d given up working alone and had joined Joe and the boys, hoping their presence would distract her. How far she’d fallen short of her goal could be measured by the joy she felt that he’d apparently missed her as well.

She hadn’t realized how much she missed his smile. It wasn’t a big grin or the kind of smile accompanied by a hearty laugh. She didn’t know whether he was constrained by the presence of the others or if he always restrained his emotions, but there was only a barely perceptible turning up at the corners of his mouth. The real smile was in his slate-blue eyes. They widened slightly and seemed to sparkle from within. Given the way she looked right now, she’d have forgiven him if he’d turned and made a rapid retreat. She wasn’t covered with dirt, but she could hardly have looked worse if she’d tried.

“Doc said I’m so ornery that staying inside would probably slow my recovery.”

He didn’t look like a man who’d been shot a week ago. He appeared to be in blooming health. She didn’t know how she’d managed to be virtually unaware of his existence until he ended up in her father’s bed.

“He’s probably right.” She tried to put her dress in order but gave up. She pulled her bonnet from her head and smoothed her hair. She was sure she looked a fright, but at least she could see him. “Still, you shouldn’t be riding this far.”

“I’m used to riding much farther. I wanted to see how the boys were doing.”

“We’re doing okay, boss,” Carlin called from his perch above. “It takes both of us to keep up with Joe. If we were half as strong, Russ wouldn’t keep us at the ranch all the time.”

Roberta was pleased that Carlin didn’t stumble over Joe’s name. It had taken two days, but none of the boys called him Crazy Joe anymore.

“I didn’t realize you were rebuilding already,” Nate said to Roberta.

“With the boys helping Joe, they were able to clear away the rubble quickly. I’m planning on having a big bonfire to celebrate the completion of the barn.”

“I’m glad Otis changed his mind about giving you a loan.”

She had expected he would wonder how she managed to purchase the wood. Everyone knew Otis had refused to give her a loan.

“Mr. Riggins gave it to her, boss,” Carlin volunteered. “I think we got enough extra to build a chicken coop and a cowshed.”

“Otis didn’t change his mind,” Roberta told Nate. “Boone insisted on buying the lumber now so I wouldn’t have to wait. I’ll repay him as soon as I’m able.” It annoyed her that she should feel uncomfortable telling him Boone had paid for the lumber. Knowing that she had accepted the lumber only on the condition that she would repay him didn’t make it any easier.

“That was generous of him,” Nate said.

“Not as much as you’d think,” Carlin said. “He’s been trying to get Miss Roberta to marry him. He said if she married him, she wouldn’t have to worry about anything.”

“Mr. Riggins is a successful businessman,” Nate said. “I’m sure he’ll provide quite amply for the woman who becomes his wife.”

Roberta made a mental note to tell Carlin he didn’t have to blab everything he knew. She doubted the boy could see the change in Nate, but the slight stiffening of his body, along with the dimming of the light in his eyes, was easily visible to her.

“I’m sure he will,” Roberta said. “But at the moment, he hasn’t found a willing candidate for that honor. I’m about to go up to the house. Would you like some coffee?”

“I was hoping you’d give us a hand,” Carlin called down to Nate. “With three of us working, we might be able to keep up with Joe.”

“Not until he’s a lot stronger,” Roberta said. “I’m not going to be responsible for him breaking that wound open.”

“Doc says there’s no danger in that happening,” Nate said as he followed Roberta to the house. “He said I was well enough to come see you.”

“You shouldn’t have.”

“Why? Does that bother you?”

It worried and excited her, but she couldn’t say that. It would make her sound weak-minded. “I’m not sure.” She took advantage of walking toward the house to avoid looking at him. “I felt so guilty about shooting you I would have done anything to make sure you got well. In the process, I discovered you weren’t at all like what I had thought.” She looked up at him briefly before glancing away. “I like you very much, but I still feel guilty.”

“Don’t.”

They had reached the house. “I’m going to clean up. You can wait for me in the parlor.”

“You look fine as you are.”

“I look like I’ve been working in the fields all day. Don’t make it hard for me to believe what you say by making exaggerated statements.”

Nate’s smile reappeared. “I stand chastised.”

She smiled despite herself. “No such thing. You’re about the most audacious man I’ve ever met.”

He looked so astonished, even unbelieving, she laughed.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never heard that before.”

“As a matter of fact, I haven’t.”

“What kind of women have you met?”

“Apparently not the right kind.”

“Go inside before you cause me to say something that will embarrass me.”

“Could I?” He appeared to have asked the question in all seriousness.

“Too easily.”

She hurried around the side of the house to the kitchen before he could respond. She didn’t know quite what to make of that exchange. It was those contradictions again. One moment he would be smiling and a little outrageous, and the next he would act like he didn’t recognize himself. She wondered what had happened to cause that conflict? He had never appeared to lack self-confidence, yet there was something that seemed to be eating away at its foundation.

There were some questions for which she’d probably never receive answers. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder. She hurried inside to wash up and change. She was sure Nate wouldn’t leave regardless of how long she took, but she wasn’t willing to put it to the test.

***

Nate had never studied Roberta’s house to learn what it said about its owner, what made it a home rather than just a house. Cade and Pilar’s home spoke more of Pilar’s grandmother, more of her heritage and how she wanted to be seen, rather than who she was. His father’s success had enabled him to buy a house much bigger than they needed and had allowed his mother to furnish it in a style dictated by her social aspirations rather than the character and needs of the people who lived there.

Roberta’s home wasn’t like that. Her father’s bedroom was simply furnished. Clothes hung on hooks on the wall and the back of the door. The heavily decorated wallpaper was free of pictures, but two handmade quilts were stacked on a shelf in a clothes chest. The curtains at the window were white. A water basin and a kerosene lamp sat on a table next to the bed. It was the room of a man who had no need or desire for decoration. It was where he slept. The rest of his life was spent elsewhere.

The parlor was different. The furniture was sturdy and practical, but the decorative touches were definitely feminine. A cabinet in the corner contained small figurines of shepherdesses and lambs, birds, various baby animals, and a golden-haired angel. A small bookcase spilled over with books. Kerosene lamps stood on tables at either end of the sofa. Pictures of pastoral scenes adorned walls covered by flowered wallpaper. Curtains decorated with tiny knots of roses fluttered at the window. Clearly a room decorated by a woman but not so overpowering a man would feel uncomfortable.

Rather the opposite. Nate felt welcomed. Almost embraced. This was a place where a man’s spirit could find peace and solace, a place where the cares of the world could be kept at bay. It was a place where he could be happy.

The door at one end of the parlor opened, and Roberta entered. “I’m sorry I took so long, but my mother would turn in her grave if she knew I met company looking like I’d come in from the fields.”

Roberta had changed into a white blouse and gray skirt. Rather than pin her hair up as was her habit, she had allowed her abundant, chestnut curls to fall over her shoulders. Nate thought that made her look especially feminine. She was beautiful.

“I’m sure your mother would forgive you, knowing how hard it is to farm in Texas.”

“Sit down. You shouldn’t be standing.”

She sat on the sofa. He chose a rocking chair with a leather-covered seat and a floral pattern on the back.

“My mother would never have agreed to come to Texas. My father and I moved here after she died.”

“Is that why you want to move back to Virginia?”

Apparently unsatisfied with her position, Roberta moved over. Nate thought she was using the time to gather her thoughts.

“The only family I have left is in Virginia.”

“That wouldn’t be true if you were to marry.”

The sofa must have been uncomfortable because she moved again. “I haven’t yet found a man I wish to marry.”

“Have you decided against every man in Texas, or might you find one who could change your mind?”

She still looked uncomfortable, but she didn’t move. “I’m sure there are lots of nice men I’ve never met. I only got to know you in the last week.”

“Could I change your mind?”

His question galvanized her, vanquished her uneasiness, turned her back into the direct and open woman he had come to know. “You’ve been asking questions like that for several days now. I find them confusing. You can’t be asking me to marry you. We barely know each other, so what are you trying to say?”

“I’m falling in love with you.”

Roberta stared at him like he’d lost his mind. “I shot you. I don’t trust ranchers, and I don’t like Texas men. Why on earth would you want to fall in love with me?”

“I didn’t want to. It just happened.”

“Well, make it stop.”

Then Nate did something untypical of himself. He got up from his chair, moved to the sofa, and sat next to Roberta. When she tried to move back, he took both her hands. “I don’t want to stop. I’ve never felt as good as I have since I was shot.”

“You had a hole in your chest. How could that feel good?”

“Because it let me meet you.”

Roberta tried rather halfheartedly to pull her hands from his grasp. “Either you have a fever, or your mind has become deranged.”

Nate chuckled and gripped her hands more firmly. “I don’t have a fever, and I’m not deranged.”

“Then how do you explain your actions?”

“I don’t even try. I just know I want to see you, to be around you, to talk with you, to get to know everything about you. When I’m not with you, I spend half my time wondering what you’re doing.”

“I’m a farmer. I’m boring.”

“You fascinate me. I’ve never seen your hair down. It makes you look different, more approachable. Prettier.”

She pulled her hands from his grasp and scooted back. “Stop talking nonsense.”

Nate closed the distance between them. “Boone must see you the same way. Why can’t you believe us?”

“Boone doesn’t talk about my hair or tell me how pretty I am.”

“Then he’s a fool.”

“He’s a successful businessman.”

“I know several successful businessmen who are fools. I’m a successful rancher, and I’m a fool.”

“Why?”

“Because I never really saw you until now.”

Roberta met his gaze. “Are you trying to court me?”

“I hope I’m doing better than
trying
.”

She didn’t answer.

“You said you didn’t dislike me.”

“I don’t.”

“You find me attractive.”

“I do.”

“Then you don’t object?”

“I can’t figure out why you’d think of marrying someone like me. You think it’s stupid to try to farm in this part of Texas, and you hated the dam.”

“I’m not interested in your tomatoes or the dam. Just you.”

“I don’t see why.”

“There doesn’t have to be any
why
, but I’ve got a list of reasons.”

“If you’re going to start telling me again that I’m beautiful, you can stop right now. I won’t believe you.”

“Maybe you can believe this.”

He reached for Roberta, drew her to him, and kissed her. His experience with other women had led him to expect so little from a kiss he probably wouldn’t have tried to kiss Roberta if he’d had time to think about it. But he didn’t think, and he got the biggest surprise of his life.

A barrage of sensations poured through him. The kiss was sweet and gentle, but it jolted him down to his toes. Her lips were soft and giving, but her mouth was firm. He wanted to melt into the embrace, yet energy surged through him with the force of a raging mountain stream. He felt like shouting for joy, but he wanted to prolong the kiss until neither of them could breathe.

It was Roberta who broke the kiss.

“I shouldn’t have let you do that.”

Nate was encouraged to believe she hadn’t disliked it when she didn’t move away or avert her gaze. “Why not?”

“Because I
wanted
you to kiss me.”

The situation was changing almost too fast for Nate to follow. “I thought you didn’t like me.”

“I didn’t.” The way she said it made it sound like she meant to say
she
did
.

“What caused you to change your mind?”

“You.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“That’s what I thought at first, but I was too busy thinking you were one of the attackers. After I decided you weren’t, I couldn’t stop wanting you out of my house because I thought I could then stop feeling guilty. It was only after you left that I realized how much my feelings had changed.”