Heart of a Texan (8 page)

“I was just giving him a few instructions,” Nate said. “You will remember what I said?” Nate asked Carlin. “You won’t forget anything?”

“No, boss. I won’t forget anything.”

“Good. Now leave. Miss Tryon is about to treat me like a helpless child, and I’d be embarrassed for you to see.”

“Do you always talk nonsense?” Roberta asked as Carlin hurried to leave the room.

“Only when I’m about to be fed by a beautiful woman.”

“You’re definitely better. I hope Russ is here early tomorrow.”

Nate sniffed the air. “What is that heavenly aroma? I know it’s not eggs or chicken soup.”

“It’s beef stew. I figured you were strong enough to eat beef as long as it was well-cooked and seasoned with plenty of vegetables.”

She picked up her bowl from the platter and set it aside. Then she placed the platter with the other bowl on Nate’s lap.

“You don’t intend to feed me?”

“You’re strong enough to feed yourself. You only let me feed you because you liked being spoiled. I only fed you because I knew you wouldn’t eat what was good for you if I didn’t.”

Nate shook his head in mock despair. “I think I’d better warn all those Virginia men before you go back.”

“What would you tell them?”

“Hmm. How does one warn of great danger when it’s clothed in such beauty?”

“If you don’t stop talking about me being beautiful, people are going to think you were shot in the head rather than the chest.”

“Sharp-tongued
and
bossy. We’d better keep you in Texas. It would be cruel to let you loose among those unsuspecting Virginians.”

The stew was quite good. Maybe the cook would provide better meals when Nate was there to make his own requests. “Do you think there’s any man in Texas capable of handling a sharp-tongued, bossy female like me?”

“Texans always rise to a challenge.”

“You’re not from Texas.”

“Ma’am, if you had to be born in Texas to be a Texan, this state would just about be empty.”

“So how would you describe Texans? A bunch of misfits looking for a place to land?”

“I’d never be so rude as to call you a misfit.”

Roberta didn’t try to prevent her lips from curving into a smile. “I believe you have the nerve to do just about anything.” Her humor abruptly changed to confusion. “Why are you wasting your time chasing after diViere when you could stay here and become a part of this community? You could do something important with your life.”

The laughter disappeared from Nate’s eyes. “I am doing something important.”

“Murdering diViere won’t bring your brother back. It’ll just end with you going to jail.”

Nate’s eyes turned hard. “So you think I should leave him free to continue spreading evil wherever he goes?”

“If he’s so evil, he’ll come to a just end on his own. I don’t want him to carry you down with him.”

“But you hate ranchers, remember? Why would you care what happens to me?”

She hadn’t known she did, but now that he raised the question, the answer wasn’t in doubt. She just wasn’t sure she could explain it. “You have so much to offer it would be a shame to throw your life away.”

“And what exactly is it you think I have to offer?”

“I don’t know you well enough to—”

Using his arms to push himself off the pillows, he leaned toward her. “Don’t turn squeamish on me now. What happened to the sharp-tongued, bossy female who was here just a minute ago?”

“She’s still here. She’s just trying to avoid saying something she doesn’t mean.”

“Tell me what you do mean—even if it’s only one thing.”

Roberta was tempted to return a sharp response, but she sensed that her answer would be important. She really
didn’t
know him well, but she could see the tension in him, sense that something inside him might be altered or changed by her answer. Odd that a man she’d barely seen until two days ago would place so much importance on what she thought.

“Well, you’ve got brains. I also think you’re fair. You didn’t agree with my father, but you had the courtesy to explain your reasons in person, without condemning him for not accepting your advice. You care for others. You didn’t hesitate to come to my father’s aid when you thought he was in trouble. You don’t hold grudges. You’ve forgiven me for shooting you and for thinking you were one of the attackers. You must be a wonderful boss because all the men who work for you practically fall over themselves to do whatever you want.”

She paused, but Nate didn’t respond. He just looked at her. Yet she got the feeling he wasn’t seeing her, that he was seeing something from another time or place, something that had caused great pain and unhappiness.

“I find you very likeable,” she continued.

That seemed to surprise him so much it brought him out of his abstraction. “Why? Nobody likes me.”

“How can you say that? Your cowhands can’t wait to—”

“They’re afraid of losing their jobs. I pay better than the other ranchers, feed and house them better, and provide their outfits. The other ranchers don’t trust me. Even my best friends say I get on their nerves.”

“You don’t pay me, feed me, or house me, so I can say what I think. I trust you, and you haven’t gotten on my nerves, though you will if you continue telling me I’m beautiful.”

Some of the anxiety left Nate’s face. “I’ll make you a deal. I’ll try to believe I’m likeable if you try to believe you’re beautiful.”

“But it’s not true. I’m—”

The strain was back. “I don’t believe I’m likeable. But if you believe it, I’m willing to try.”

“Okay, I’ll try, but that means I have to avoid my mirror.”

His expression eased. “You must consult your mirror constantly. Staring back at you will be the face I see, the face I find beautiful. Will you do that for me?”

Roberta suddenly felt an inexplicable urge to cry. There was something terribly sad behind that request, something so full of pain Nate didn’t feel he could face it alone. Of all the people he knew, he’d turned to her, a virtual stranger he had no reason to like or trust, to give him the hope he couldn’t give himself. “I will, but I can’t promise that my mirror won’t break.”

Nate leaned back against his pillows and picked up his spoon. “I’ll buy you another. Now tell me what I can have for breakfast tomorrow. I particularly like this stew.”

“I haven’t decided yet, but it won’t be eggs on toast.”

“Good. I’d hate to have to go back on my promise to buy all those mirrors.”

He favored her with a slow smile then went back to eating his stew as if a crack in his soul hadn’t opened long enough for her to see the pain hidden inside. Nate Dolan wasn’t a revenge-obsessed zealot. Some deep hurt, some searing pain, was driving him. She didn’t know what it was or why it had such a stronghold over him, but she hoped she could find a way to ease it. There weren’t enough good men in the world to waste one like Nate.

***

“You’re here mighty early this morning,” Roberta said to Carlin when she entered the kitchen to find him laying out Nate’s breakfast.

“Grady needs to get some sleep before Russ puts him to work. He did stay awake last night, didn’t he?”

“I don’t know. I followed Prudence’s orders and locked my door.”

Carlin’s laugh was self-conscious. “You know Grady wouldn’t do nothing.”

“Of course, but Prudence says it’s the only way to preserve my reputation. Let’s see what the cook has sent.”

“The boss is not going to like it.”

“He will if it was made like I asked.” Roberta had requested a gruel made of ground hominy and ham, cooked with milk, and accompanied by buttered toast.

“Will you take it to him?”

Roberta laughed at his reluctance to face his boss. “Sure. He’s used to turning up his nose at what I take him.”

“It makes a difference when a beautiful woman is the one bringing it.”

Roberta froze. “You said I was beautiful.”

Carlin looked uncertain. “I didn’t mean to be disrespectful.”

“Never mind.”

Roberta left Carlin looking as puzzled as she felt.

Nate was sitting up when she entered his bedroom. “What have you got for me this morning?” His dark mood of last evening seemed to have passed. His smile was welcoming, even inviting.

“Something Carlin is so afraid you’ll hate he insisted I bring it to you.” Grady moved the chair against the wall next to the bed for Roberta.

“Should I be afraid to taste it?” Nate asked.

“No, but you should close your eyes. I want you to taste it before you make a judgment.”

“That means it looks so horrible I’d hate it no matter what it tastes like.”

“It means no such thing. I just want an unprejudiced opinion.”

“Oh, lord. You sound like my mother, my aunts, and my grandmothers all rolled into one. I definitely can’t let you go back to Virginia. You’ll scare every man in the state.”

Roberta couldn’t imagine why Nate thought he was unlikeable. When he was like this, he was charming as well as funny. And his smile was powerful enough to cause any female heart to flutter. “But naturally I won’t intimidate a
real
Texan, even if he wasn’t born in Texas.”

“Not at all. We outsiders acclimate real fast.”

“You certainly learn to talk nonsense real fast. Now close your eyes and eat your breakfast.”

“Should I say my prayers first?”

“If you don’t stop talking, not even prayers will save you.”

“I’m just trying to postpone the fatal moment.”

“What have you done to him?”

“Nothing.” Roberta had almost forgotten Grady was still in the room. His look of troubled disbelief bewildered her. “Even the doctor says he’s getting well exceptionally fast.”

“I don’t mean that. He’s making jokes. Laughing. Talking to a woman like he enjoys it. The boss has never done that.”

“She hasn’t done anything to me,” Nate told Grady. “We’ve just made a game out of her giving me baby food and trying to disguise it so I’ll eat it.”

“You never play games. If you go back to the ranch acting like this, the boys will swear she put something in your food.”

“If the breakfast Russ sent yesterday is an example of what he’s been eating, no wonder he’s grumpy,” Roberta said. “Who makes up the menus?”

“Russ,” Nate told her.

“I should have guessed. Now, enough talk. It’s time to eat.”

Like a small child, Nate closed his eyes tightly and opened his mouth wide. Roberta was tempted to make a scathing remark but limited herself to putting a spoonful of the gruel in his mouth.

Nate appeared to roll it around on his tongue before swallowing. Then he opened his eyes. “That’s good. What is it?”

“Ground hominy seasoned with pork and cooked with milk.”

“You can’t fool me. That’s cornmeal mush with ham. I had it growing up in Arkansas. I liked it then, and I like it now.”

“Then I’ll leave you to enjoy your breakfast.”

“What about lunch?” he called after her.

“We’ll see,” she called back without turning around.

“Did he eat it?” Carlin asked when she entered the kitchen.

“It’s one of his favorite childhood foods.” She forgot what she intended to say next because through the kitchen window she saw Russ McCoy ride by. “What is he doing here?” She started toward the door.

“He’s probably here to show the men what to do.”

Roberta turned back to Carlin. “What men to do what?”

“The boss wants us to tear down your barn.”

Roberta’s immediate reaction was to tell them to leave. She didn’t like strangers on her property, and no matter how familiar these men were to Nate, they were strangers to her. But it was Joe who concerned her most. Even from a distance, she could tell there was tension between him and Nate’s men. She had no doubt Russ’s presence would make it worse.

She had tried not to dislike Russ, but his opposition to everything she did made that impossible. Now he’d ignored Nate’s promise that he wouldn’t set foot on her land again. By the time she reached the barn, Nate’s men were lined up behind Russ, who was yelling at Joe. When she heard Russ call Joe an imbecile and a moron, her temper snapped. Walking as fast she could, she thrust herself between the two men.

“Stop this instant! Not another word,” she ordered when Russ opened his mouth to speak. “You will
never
again
refer to Joe in those terms. Not only are they untrue, they are cruel and hateful.”

“He tried to stop—”

“Joe is here at my request doing what I’ve asked him to do.
You
are not. If you had even a nodding acquaintance with basic courtesy, you’d have stopped at the house to let me know you were here and told me what you wanted to do.”

“The boss told me what to do. He said—”

“I doubt he told you to arrive without warning or to abuse the only person helping me. He also promised you wouldn’t come here again.”

“I’m here to make sure the boys know what to do.”

“I’m perfectly capable of doing that.”

“These men don’t know how to take orders from a woman.”

“I’ll make it easy. I’ll use
little
words.”

“They
won’t
take orders from a woman.”

“Then they’d better go back because I’m the only one who gives orders here.”

Russ’s face turned red, and he seemed to swell up. “You don’t know what’s good for you any more than your father did. You’re nothing but a foolish, stubborn female who thinks she knows as much as a man.”

“You’re wrong there. I’m positive I know
more
than most men. Most particularly you.” Roberta was certain Russ heard the snickers behind him.

“I’m not leaving here without the boss,” he shouted.

“You’re welcome to take him home as soon as the doctor says he’s well enough to travel.”

“I expect he’s at the house now. I see a buckboard.”

But it was Prudence who came striding toward them with a look of determination guaranteed to strike terror in any male heart.

“What’s that woman doing here?” Russ demanded.

“She’s a friend who is free to come anytime she wishes.” That wasn’t quite the truth, but Roberta was too angry to quibble at a small inaccuracy.

“I don’t like her. She can’t mind her own business.”

“Is it just women you dislike, or is it anybody who disagrees with you?”

Russ was prevented from answering by Prudence’s demand to know who these men were and what they were doing here.

“Nate sent them to tear down the barn,” Roberta told her, “but I’m sending them home.”

“I should think so. Much more of this, and people will be thinking the road to your house is the path to sin and perdition.”

Nothing like Prudence’s outrage to take the edge off Roberta’s anger. She was still upset, but she was no longer seeing red. “Well, they can stop thinking it. Russ is taking Mr. Dolan home as soon as the doctor gives the okay.”

“I passed the doctor on my way here,” Prudence said. “He should be at the house anytime now.” Prudence might be a hidebound spinster, but she drove like youngsters with their first buggy.

“He’s coming up the lane now,” Russ said.

“You go up to the house,” Prudence said to Roberta. “I’ll make sure these men leave. There’ll be no hiding in what’s left of that barn, or anywhere else, as long as I’m here.”

Roberta was sure the men’s only thought was getting away. “You stay here,” she told Russ. “I won’t have you in the house. Carlin can tell you everything you need to know.”

“You can’t keep me out of that house as long as the boss is there.”

“I can, and I will.”

“Now look here—”

Russ didn’t get to finish the sentence. Joe thrust himself between them and grabbed two handfuls of Russ’s shirt.

“Miss Roberta doesn’t want you in her house. Joe takes care of Miss Roberta.”

“Let go of me, you crazy fool.”

Russ was a big man, but Joe was bigger and stronger. He picked Russ up and shook him. “Miss Prudence says Joe is not crazy. Joe doesn’t like it when people disagree with Miss Prudence.”

“Put me down.” Russ sounded more humiliated than angry.

“Joe is not crazy.”

“Okay, you’re not crazy. Now put me down.”

Joe released Russ so abruptly he nearly lost his balance. Certain Joe and Prudence had the situation under control, Roberta headed to the house.

“I was wondering where you were,” the doctor said when she entered the bedroom.

“Is Nate strong enough to go home today?”

The abruptness of the question and the tone in which it was delivered caused both men to look at her with puzzled expressions.

“I know you had good intentions when you asked Russ to send some men to help Joe,” Roberta said to Nate, “but I wish you’d talked to me first. The men had trouble making Joe understand they were here to help. And when Prudence arrived, Joe thought Russ was threatening us. He lifted Russ off the ground and shook him like a rag doll.”

“I wish I’d seen that,” the doctor mused.

Roberta ignored his interruption. “If the doctor says it’s okay, I think it’s best for you to leave as soon as possible.”

Neither man spoke.

“I can’t have anybody upsetting Joe. I can’t manage this farm without him. And I don’t want anyone getting hurt.”

As she spoke, Nate drew inside himself, but not before Roberta saw sadness deep in his eyes, the kind of sadness that made her feel like she’d taken something important from him, something he wished for very much. She was tempted to tell him she didn’t want him to go, but that would have implied something she didn’t feel. He had never expected to stay once he was strong enough to go home.

“What about it, Doc?” Nate asked in a falsely cheerful voice. “Am I strong enough to survive the ride home?”

“Thanks to your excellent nurse, you’re more than strong enough. Just make sure Carlin doesn’t drive too fast.”

Roberta couldn’t think of anything to say except, “I’ll let you get dressed.”

She was more confounded by her reaction than Nate’s. It felt like she was losing a friend. Worse, it felt like she was sending him away. She hadn’t realized, until now, how much she enjoyed the time she spent with him. Feeding him wasn’t a chore. She wouldn’t have minded preparing his meals if she hadn’t been nearly exhausted at the end of the day. Yet somehow she didn’t feel so tired when she sat with him. They disagreed on some things, argued over a few, but without heat. He was better about accepting her criticisms than she was about accepting his. Not that she expected him to change. Texas men didn’t, even those born in Arkansas. Maybe
especially
those born in Arkansas because they thought they had something to prove.

He definitely had something to prove to himself, but she was certain it had to do with diViere and what happened during the war. She was just as certain the problem wouldn’t be solved by killing diViere. She couldn’t believe Nate was a killer by nature. She wanted to help him, but she didn’t know how.

More importantly, she didn’t have the right to interfere.

When she reached the kitchen, Carlin was cleaning up the breakfast dishes in preparation for taking them back to the ranch. He looked up from his work to smile at Roberta. “The boss is looking real good this morning, isn’t he?”

“So good he’s going home.”

The trace of a frown clouded Carlin’s countenance. “He seems really happy here.”

“Maybe, but he can’t stay here forever.”

“I guess not.”

“I’d have thought you’d be relieved not to be coming here and standing guard all day.”

Carlin’s expression remained cloudy. “I don’t mind. The boss has been different since he’s been here. Grady and Webb said the same thing.”

“You three seem to stick together.”

“I guess we do. We’re the only ones the boss hired. We feel a special allegiance to him for keeping us on since Russ doesn’t like us much.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t think he trusts us, but we’ve never done anything except what he tells us.”

“As far as I’m concerned, Russ not liking you is a point in your favor.”

Carlin smiled shyly. “Thank you, ma’am. We appreciate you taking such good care of the boss.”

“It’ll be your responsibility to take care of him once he’s home. He’s not to do too much until he regains more of his strength, and don’t let Russ order his meals.”

Carlin looked uneasy. “I can’t do that. Nobody will listen to me.”

“You can threaten them by saying I’m planning to check on him. If need be, I’ll bring Prudence. Nothing will scare a bachelor more than the threat of having a fire-breathing spinster invade his home.”

Carlin brightened. “Will you really?”

His eagerness was unexpected. “You think I should?”

“He’s never happy when he’s at the ranch, not like he’s been here.” He looked unsure then proceeded resolutely. “I’m sure it’s having a pretty face to look at rather than our ugly mugs.”

“Nonsense. I think you and Grady are quite handsome. Webb would be, too, if he’d get rid of that ridiculous beard he’s trying to grow.”

Carlin laughed. “Grady’s been telling him the same thing, but he’s a year younger than me and Grady. He thinks it makes him look older.”

Roberta wondered why Nate would hire such young boys, but movement in the front of the house told her Nate had left his bedroom. He was standing between Grady and the doctor when she reached the parlor. She was surprised to see how strong he looked now that he was standing up and wearing proper clothes. A faint whiteness around the mouth told her he was still far from fully recovered.

“Thank you for your good care the past four days.” He spoke with a rigid formality he had never used with her. “The doctor assures me I wouldn’t be doing so well otherwise.”

“I’m sure anyone could have done as well.”

“But would they?”

There seemed to be a question behind his question, but she didn’t know what it might be and was afraid to ask. “Of course they would. I’ve been giving Carlin instructions on what you’re to do to take care of yourself. I’ve promised to check on you so you’d better do as he says.”

Nate’s whole being underwent a change. “I doubt he can remember anything that complicated for more than a few hours. You’d better check with him every day to make sure he hasn’t forgotten anything.”

The change surprised Roberta. “I have a lot of work to do here.”

“You don’t have to worry about those boys forgetting things.” Russ had entered the house despite her telling him not to. “I can take care of the boss.”

Nate continued as if Russ hadn’t spoken, “Even one day of neglect could bring about a relapse.”

The doctor looked from one to the other. He showed no reaction beyond the slight widening of his eyes and a suspicious turning up at the corners of his mouth.

Roberta’s gaze hadn’t left Nate. “I’ll see what I can do, but I can’t guarantee anything.”

“You’d better write out some instructions for the cook.”

“It won’t take but a minute. Webb, would you come with me?”

They left the room to the accompaniment of Russ’s complaints that they were wasting time waiting for instructions the cook wouldn’t follow.

Once they’d left the parlor, she said to Carlin, “I want you, Webb, and Grady to keep an eye on your boss. I’m not saying Russ would do anything to hurt him, but he might decide not do something just because I recommended it.”

“I don’t know why he gets so angry at you.”

“Neither do I, but it doesn’t matter. I won’t be seeing him again.”

“But you said you were coming to the ranch to check on the boss.”

“The three of you can take care of him for me. Besides, my being there will just cause trouble with Russ.”

“I don’t think the boss would care how much you upset Russ as long as you come.”

Roberta finished writing her instructions and folded the piece of paper. “You think so?”

“I’ve never seen him as happy as he’s been here. He’s not happy about going home, either. He asked the doctor if he shouldn’t stay one more day, but the doc said the boss was plenty strong, and it was about time he stopped parading a bunch of men through your house.”

“What did Nate say?”

“He said he guessed it was time he stopped being selfish.”

“I’ll see if I can get over, but there’s so much to be done here.”

Carlin said he understood, but she knew he didn’t. She didn’t know what he thought she could do for Nate that they couldn’t do as well. Until she shot Nate, she had rarely seen him. It was time things returned to normal. Farmers and ranchers would always be at odds.

Russ was still complaining when she returned to the parlor. He reached for the paper, but she handed it to Nate.

“I didn’t write much, just a few guidelines, but I’m sure your cook will have no trouble understanding them. You may want to talk to him yourself.”

“If you don’t, I will,” the doctor said, forestalling a protest from Russ. “I’m not driving all the way out to that ranch if you’re not going to follow instructions.”

Nate looked down at the paper, then looked at Roberta. His gaze connected directly with her, closing out everyone in the room. “I wouldn’t dare ignore instructions with both of you checking on me each day.”

Roberta started to remind him that she hadn’t promised to see him every day, but something about the way he was looking at her changed her mind.

“Let’s go,” Russ said to Nate. “I want to get you home before it gets too hot.”

“Why don’t you come early tomorrow?” Nate said to Roberta. “You can talk to the cook yourself.”

“I have to be here when Joe arrives.”

Nate seemed to conclude that she was turning him down, and the warmth in his eyes faded. “Thanks for everything. I’ll let you get back to your work.”