Heat Wave (4 page)

‘Ohhhhh! Tanner!
Tanner!
' Heedless of how I sounded, I called his name as his lips crashed to mine and my clit detonated under his touch, sending shuddering shards of pleasure upwards. My thighs closed tight of their own accord, trapping his hand between them as my core contracted and my nub thrummed for a long minute.

Stroking softly, Tanner kept his hand on my folds until he was sure I was ready for him to let go. Moving his hand aside, I flipped him onto his back, satiated but still unsatisfied. I needed to feel him inside me.

With Tanner lying before me, I dropped my hand to his shaft as it stood to attention. I raised my eyebrow slightly, and he knew what I wanted and handed me a foil packet. Tearing it with my teeth, I placed the rubber on the weeping tip of his length, rolling it down, down, nearly running out of rubber before I ran out of flesh to cover.

Straddling him, I positioned his cock so it pressed lightly against my passage, wet and ready for him. It was only a little ironic that our favourite position was the cowgirl; Tanner loved watching me lose myself riding him, and I loved the feeling of total control after losing myself in my own climax.

Controlling my descent, I lowered myself onto him. His shaft pushed inside me, impaling me with its significant length. I panted slightly as I strained to take all of him; he was the largest of all my lovers, and as I came flush against his body, he speared into places that hadn't been touched since him.

He raised his hands and interlaced our fingers together. I rocked slowly forward, moaning at the exquisite sensation of his shaft stirring inside me. My already shattered core began coiling again, wanting friction, wanting speed.

Tanner's beautiful face was awash with pleasure, and mine heightened from knowing what I could give him. ‘Maddie … oh Lord, Maddie-girl …' His gentle cries spurred me to rock faster, desiring his climax.

With my clit rubbing fiercely on his pelvic bone, the sensitive nub shuddered suddenly, drenching my core in a second, deeper orgasm. ‘Ohhhhh!
Tanner!
'

He bucked beneath me and his shaft swelled, pressing into my swollen walls as he exploded inside me. ‘Maddie!
Maddie!
' His fingers clutched mine as we came together, filling the beautiful room with the sounds of our love.

All I could feel was him inside me; all I could see were his luminous eyes. Tears filled mine as I gave myself over to the rolling waves of pleasure, unable to hold anything back from him. I belonged to Tanner. I always had, I always would.

Finally, the spasms abated and I flopped forward onto his chest, utterly exhausted. His arms automatically wrapped around me, and emotion crashed through me.
Oh God. I still love him.

‘Maddie …' His voice shook as he kissed the top of my head. ‘I don't have the words to tell you, pretty lady, how much I've missed you.'

Tell him!
My heart was throwing its weight around, trying to force me into embarrassing myself.

Shut up, heart. You're just getting caught up in the sex.

I rolled off Tanner, already feeling empty as he slipped out of me. ‘I've missed you too, cowboy.'

He quickly pulled the condom off and threw it away before turning back to me. I'd covered up with a sheet, but Tanner was having none of that. He lifted the Egyptian cotton off my chest. ‘I've missed these. Howdy, ladies.'

Giggling, I snuck a hand around to his arse. ‘I've missed this.'

‘I've missed this,' he said, stroking his long fingers across my belly.

‘I've missed this,' I said, tenderly touching his lips.

He placed a hand over my heart. ‘But I've missed this most of all.'

‘Tanner …' I was too choked up to speak. Instead, I buried my face into his chest.

‘Hey, are you okay?' He sounded concerned, as a person should be when someone almost breaks down after sex.

Steeling myself, I said, ‘I'm good. Great. Amazing. That was really special.'

‘It always was with us.' He smiled. ‘Listen, Maddie-girl, I've been thinkin' …'

‘Yes?'

‘I want to blow off work tomorrow. I came down to Australia to find something, and I've found you. And that's everything I need.' He pushed up on one elbow and cupped my face with his cool fingers. ‘What do you say, lady? You want to take off with me? We could go anywhere, do anything. Just ask, and I'll make it happen.'

And that's the problem
… I wanted to leap on his offer, to fall asleep in his arms and wake up ready to start a new adventure. But my life was a shambles; everything I'd ever done had turned to disaster, while he was so sorted and confident. I wasn't his equal anymore. What kind of a relationship could we possible build when one of us would hopelessly let down the other?

I opened my mouth to tell him no, but his earnest expression held me back. ‘How about we get some sleep?' I deflected, starting a fake yawn, which turned into a real one.

A flicker of disappointment crossed his face, but he rallied. ‘Okay, sure. I always slept like a baby with you beside me.'

We lay back against the sheets, the city shining beyond the windows, the smell of our love in the air. I fought to keep myself awake as Tanner kissed my bare shoulder. ‘Good night, Maddie-girl.'

‘Good night, cowboy.'

I lay there for hours, listening to his steady breathing, trying to do what I had to do and tear myself away. Eventually, my bladder made the decision for me and I eased out of the bed.

I gathered my clothes quietly and paused at the door, looking back at the sculpted demi-god lying tangled in our sex-crumpled sheets. His defined arm was flung over his head, his face at peace. It was exactly how I wanted to remember him forever.

Fifteen minutes later, I laid the note on the table and slipped out the door and out of his life.

My sweet Tanner,

My entire life has been a series of screw-ups and catastrophes. I attract misfortune, no matter what I do, and I am a disaster of a human being.

I have always loved you. I always will. But I am not worthy of the incredible and successful man you have become. I could never compare; we would never be equal.

Tonight was the single most perfect night I've experienced since the day I left your arms. Thank you so much, my cowboy. I will carry it with me always.

Please don't be sad we are over. I promise, the woman you deserve is waiting out there for you. May your ride to find her be a swift one.

Love,

Maddie-girl.

Chapter 4

Stealing into the night, I tried to hold back the tears of self-pity until I cleared the glamorous hotel lobby. As soon as the night cloaked me, I let them fall, the huge sobs wracking through my chest.

Almost immediately, the disaster-free bubble that had encased me in Tanner's presence popped, and catastrophes came flooding in. My tear-blurred vision caused me to slip on the stairs in front of the hotel and I pitched down them face-first, landing on my hands.

‘Ow!' My palms were skinned, stinging and bleeding, and there was a hole in my last pair of good jeans. Weeping and shaky, I stood, facing a long walk back to George's apartment, made even more depressing by the drizzle that had begun to fall.

A light shower was okay; I felt a bit like Eponine, except I couldn't sing for buggery. The heavy, cold rain that followed it wasn't so romantic. Skidding and sploshing, I picked my way along the vacant streets.

When I reached my current squat, I let myself into the one-bedroom apartment, trying to be as quiet as possible. There was noise coming from the lounge room.
George and Bitch-face must be watching a movie …

They were; on the wide-screen, a hairy man in a green wizard's robe with an outrageously broad cock was repeatedly plunging into the arse of a dainty blonde, her pink cheeks peeking out from under her pleated grey skirt.

On the floor in front of the TV, my roommate was recreating the scene with his girlfriend. A large girl, she looked like an over-stuffed pillow squeezed into a tiny schoolgirl skirt. ‘Oh, Professor Sever-arse! Fuck my arse! Fuck it hard with your wand!'

George was doing as she asked, in black velvet robes. He slammed into her back passage, his stumpy member angry and red as it pumped its way between her jiggly cheeks. ‘Tell me you love it, Lily! I fuck you better than James, don't I?'

‘Yes! Yes! I should have picked you!'

‘You dirty mud-blood! Take this! And that!'

‘Yes, Sever-arse! Fuck!'

Mortified, I tried backing out of the room silently, and instead, backed into a shelving unit filled with
Simpsons
figurines. As I hit the shelves with my butt, Homer, Marge and the rest of the gang toppled over, making a hundred cracking sounds.

Steph, aka Lily, shrieked, leaping up. George bellowed, ‘Maddie! What the
fuck?
'

‘I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' I said, shielding my eyes from the sight of his pulsing cock.

Steph wailed and fled into the bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

‘Steph? Baby!' George dashed after her, leaving me alone with
Hairy Porker and the Order of the Penis
still playing. Now, the screen showed two girls from another house girls making out, trailing wands over each other's nipples.

I sat on the couch, unsure if I should stop the DVD or let it play. I settled for turning off the TV, but was then forced to listen to Steph screeching at George for the next hour. I didn't dare go to sleep or move. I didn't want to shower while the smell of Tanner still clung to my skin, the last physical evidence that he wasn't a dream.

As dawn light began edging in the windows, George reappeared. Thankfully, his robe had been replaced with a tracksuit, but exhaustion hung heavily on him. ‘Maddie. We need to talk.'

‘George, I'm so sorry,' I rushed to say. ‘I barely saw anything, and seriously, I'm not judging. You guys are consenting adults and
Harry Potter
is a great series—'

‘
Harry Potter
is more than a series to Steph,' he said. ‘It's an obsession—a lifestyle choice.'

‘Okay, great! Good that she has a passion, right?'

George sighed, collapsing onto the couch. ‘You have to move out.'

‘What? George, please—'

‘Steph wants you out.' He looked up at me with beaten eyes. ‘You have to go.'

I sank into the chair opposite him. ‘Please, please don't do this. I don't have anywhere else to go. I promise, I just need a few more weeks. I've got all my contacts letting me know about jobs, and as soon as I get one, I'll be gone.'

‘Maddie, that's what you said two weeks ago.'

‘I know, but—'

‘Don't make me out to be the bad guy here,' he said, turning away from me. ‘I've tried to be a good friend. I've let you stay for as long as I could, but this is my place. It's time for you to go.'

Gutted, I couldn't even beg anymore. ‘Can I at least have until the end of the week?'

‘Steph wants you out now.'

‘Now? Like, today?'

‘Now, like now. This minute. She's refusing to come out unless you're gone for good.' George held out his hand. ‘Give me your key.'

And, just like that, I found myself on the street at five am, with only my backpack and nowhere to go. I was out of friends, out of cash, and out of hope. It was still raining, so I walked to the nearest McDonald's and sheltered outside their door, waiting for them to open.

Freezing and alone, I took a shuddering sigh. ‘What am I going to do?'

My phone rang. Feverishly, I dug through my bag to find it. The only people who would call me were my colleagues with job contacts, which seemed unlikely, given the hour, or my mum.

I caught it just in time. ‘Hello?'

‘Darling,
darling
girl, how are you?'

‘Hi, Mum.' I didn't try to disguise the sadness in my voice; my mother was many things, but perceptive about my feelings wasn't one of them. Even if I told her how bad things were, she couldn't help anyway; her husband controlled the finances, and he wasn't one for hand-outs.

She sounded tipsy as she sang, ‘I've got such lovely news for you, sweetie! You know my friend Max?'

Pulling the collar of my jacket up to futilely deflect the wet wind, I said, ‘You have a lot of friends, Mum.'

‘Oh darling, don't be silly.' After my mum remarried and moved to Dubai, she'd fallen in with a group of wealthy English ex-pat wives, and consequently talked like Eddie from
Ab Fab
. ‘Sweetie, you remember I told you about Max—she's the one who was a big producer, but her hubby forced her to give it up because he wanted to move out here? He was big in the hotel industry, but then she found him in bed with a French boy, well, not a boy, a man, but a young man—'

‘Mum! Does this have a point?'

‘Don't be rude, flower. Men don't find it attractive when you're rude. Yes, the point is that Max moved back to England and went back to work and had a massive hit last year, and she stopped over here yesterday on the way to Sydney for her new project and told me all about it. And I asked if there was room on her crew for my talented daughter!'

Producer? Hit?
I wasn't so prideful to knock back a film job, even if it came from a friend of my mum's. ‘What was her hit last year?'

‘Sweetness, you should guess!'

‘Mum, I'm not guessing.'

‘Go on! Guess!'

‘Argh! Fine. Was it an indie flick? Or a mainstream movie?'

My mother fell apart in peals of laughter. ‘Even better than those! It was
Erotic Island
.'

‘I've never heard of it.'

‘Precious!' Mum sounded horrified. ‘How is that possible? Everyone on the planet has at least heard of the island, and at least one billion people watched it.'

‘What? What is this movie?'