Heavy Metal (A Badboy Rockstar Romance) (17 page)

“Hi!  You’re a waiter now?” I asked, surprised to see him out of his usual role as cook.

He made a face.  “Not by choice, but someone’s gotta do it.”

“Sorry,” I told him, feeling guilty.  My abrupt departure had probably inconvenienced him.

“Don’t apologize!” he told me.  “I completely understand why you left.  I’m surprised it didn’t happen sooner, to be honest.  Carl is such a tyrant to work for that I’m thinking about giving my notice.  I can’t imagine what he would be like to live with – ugh, you poor girl.  How have you been, Hayley?”

“I’ve been pretty good!” I told him, forcing a smile.  “I’ve been
really
good,” I corrected myself as my thoughts turned to Brandon.  Suddenly my smile wasn’t quite so forced anymore.

“Are you back in town to stay?” he asked.

“I hope not.”

Cesar laughed at that.  “Yeah, I know what you mean.  If it wasn’t for my mother living here I think I would be long gone too.  But she’s so crazy about my kids – and they’re so crazy about her – that there’s no way I would consider moving.”

“It’s nice that you’re so close to your family,” I told him, wishing I’d had that kind of stability.  A functional, supportive family was something I had never experienced and, considering the kind of train wreck my mother was, I knew it was something I could never have.

“Shit!” Cesar suddenly exclaimed as he looked at his watch.  “I have to run to the kitchen to check on some stuff in the oven,” he told me, the weariness in his voice evident.  “Excuse me.”

As Cesar hastily disappeared into the back, I made my way over to the counter and sat down on one of the stools.  I spotted one of the regulars down at the far end of the counter, caught his eye and smiled.  Instead of acknowledging me, he hastily averted his eyes, looking uneasy.

It was then that I noticed all the locals in the diner were sneaking judgmental, disapproving glances in my direction.  At first I wondered if it was my imagination.  Maybe I was being paranoid, I tried to tell myself.  But as time went on, there was no mistaking that everyone was looking at me.

Feeling very uncomfortable, I stood up, unsure of what to do next. 

That was when Carl strolled into the diner.

“Oh there you are,” he said when he spotted me.  “Good.  Here’s your paycheck,” he announced, reaching into his shirt pocket to pull out an envelope. 

When I saw the number written on the check, my face fell.  “Carl, this is only a fraction of what I’m owed,” I told him, wondering what kind of stupid game he was playing this time.  “What’s going on?”

“The night you quit, my diner was trashed,” he told me matter-of-factly.  “And you might recall I was also punched in the face by that idiot you took off with.  I’ve deducted some of your wages to account for the cleanup, not to mention the physical injury I incurred.” 

I stared at him in disbelief.  Could he really do that?  “This won’t even cover first month’s rent,” I murmured, half to myself.  I had been counting on that money to help me get back on my feet
without
Brandon’s generosity, but now that plan had gone out the window.

“I guess you’ll have to find another job quick then,” Carl shrugged, clearly unbothered by my predicament.  “You’re lucky I didn’t press charges,” he added boastfully, once again trying to make himself out to be the good guy.

“No place in town is hiring,” I told him, feeling my heart sink as I tried to figure out what on earth I was going to do.  “I’ve already been everywhere – and I mean
everywhere
.  Not a single place is hiring.”

“I know one place that’s hiring,” he said.

Blinking, I wondered if he was serious.  “You don’t actually mean...?”

“I could use the help, and you need the money,” he pointed out.  “You’re already trained, which is good for both of us.  I can put you to work right now if you want the job.”

It felt like I was caught between a rock and a hard place.  There was no way I wanted to work for Carl again.  I didn’t want
anything
to do with that man.  But what other choice did I have?  Swallowing hard, I tried my best to take control of the situation when I spoke next.

“You’re going to pay me for my time, and I mean
all
of my time,” I informed him.  “This time around, there will be no staying late and no helping you out after hours.  We are not a couple and we will never be a couple again, understand?  You will treat me like any other employee.  You won’t insult me or –”

“Yeah, yeah, okay, whatever,” Carl agreed, cutting me off.  “In case you haven’t noticed, the dinnertime rush is right around the corner and we’re understaffed.  Throw on an apron and go make a fresh pot of coffee, would you?”

As was to be expected, Brandon wasn’t exactly happy that I was working for my ex.  In fact, he was a bit hurt that I hadn’t gone to him for money.  Even after I had reminded him that I didn’t want to depend on anyone else and that it was important for me to make my own way in the world, he still sounded upset.

But when one of our subsequent phone calls took a steamy change of direction, all was forgotten.  Or if it wasn’t, then it was at least forgiven.

“You sound so sexy,” I told Brandon, shivering in excitement at that deep, husky growl.

“You’re the one with the sexy voice,” he informed me.  “I get turned on every time I hear it.”

“It’s hard to believe you’re so far away. You sound so close, like I could reach out and touch you.  But it’s already evening where you are!  I keep forgetting.  Where are you guys tonight?” I asked him, unable to keep track of his hectic touring schedule.  “London?”

“London was last night,” he told me.  “Tonight is Paris.  We play in a couple hours, but until then I’m all yours.  God, I wish you were here with me.  I miss the way you feel in my arms...the way your hair smells like oranges...Hayley, you’re so beautiful.”

Blushing at his words, my initial reaction was shyness.  But then I realized the phone was all we had.  It wasn’t as though we could touch each other when there was an ocean between us, so talking would have to suffice. 

“Tell me about Paris,” I demanded.  My voice dreamy, I shut my eyes and tried to picture it. 

“It’s amazing here – the architecture, the history.  I will never get tired of Paris.  I can see the Eiffel Tower from my window right now,” he told me.  “Behind it is the sunset.  Tonight when it gets darker, it will be all lit up.  I would love to take you up to the top and show you the city.  It’s really something to see.”

“It sounds so romantic!  I’d like to kiss you on top of the Eiffel Tower,” I told him, my face hot.

“Oh Hayley, I’d like to do a hell of a lot more than kiss you...”

“Tell me,” I whispered lustfully.  “Tell me what you’d do.”

“Everything...whatever you wanted.  I just want to make you feel good, make you happy.  I’d love to tease you until you’re squirming and moaning in pleasure, begging for release.  My hands, my lips, my tongue, they’d be all over your body, driving you wild.  Seeing you like that, all worked up, would be so incredible.  It’s hard for me to think of much else these days.”

“I think about you too,” I told him breathlessly, my heart pounding as my nipples grew erect at his words.  “All the time, really...and what you just said is so incredibly hot!”

“Are you excited?” he asked knowingly.

“Yes!” I admitted, blushing furiously.  My entire body was tingling.

“Tomorrow is my only night off for a while,” Brandon told me.  “What if I fly back?”

“Fly back for one night?” I asked, confused.  Hadn’t we already been through this?  Hadn’t I already made it clear that I didn’t want him interrupting his European tour for me?  Apparently there was no reasoning with a man who was enamored. 

“It’s crazy, yeah.  We’d only have a couple hours together at most before I would need to hop on another plane and head back overseas.  But I don’t care.  I would travel to the ends of the earth for you, Hayley.  I miss you and I want you.  And,” he added devilishly, “I would make those two hours count, I promise.”

“No,” I told him, already shaking my head.  “Don’t do that.”

“What?  Why not, Hayley?” he asked, sounding hurt.  “Don’t you want to see me?”

“Of course I do!  But you need your rest,” I told him, hating myself for turning him away.  “I don’t want you getting sick, Brandon, and you sound exhausted as it is.  You’d better stay put and relax on your day off.” 

Brandon sighed, clearly frustrated by my response.  “You’re probably right,” he admitted reluctantly, his disappointment evident.  “So, uh, tell me about your new place?” he asked, the moment gone. 

“It’s alright,” I replied, stretching out on the makeshift bed I had created out of pillows and blankets on the floor.  “It’s nothing fancy.  It’s a basement suite in an old warehouse that’s been converted into apartments.  I know the landlord, so I was able to move in right away without all the usual preliminary stuff.  The suite is sort of ugly and kind of cramped.  But it’s mine,” I added proudly. 

“I’m happy for you,” he said, and I could tell he meant it.

“Oh, and I have some news!” I said excitedly.  “Carl said the front yard of his place smelled like cat pee yesterday.  That means Mittens is probably around somewhere!  I’m going to go over there after I finish work tonight and see if I can find him.”

“You’re going over to Carl’s?”

“Don’t say it like that.  Carl will probably be inside getting drunk and watching wrestling on television,” I predicted dismissively.  “I’m just going to sit outside and see if Mittens shows up, that’s all.”

“Be careful, Hayley.”

“Be careful of what?” I asked, not quite following.  “I keep telling you, Carl isn’t dangerous.”

“No, but he’s trying to get you back.”

That comment threw me for a loop.  But I knew Brandon was right.  He seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to that.  I hadn’t even told him about Carl trying to kiss me – solely because I was afraid Brandon would go berserk – and yet Brandon seemed to know exactly what was going on.

After a momentary pause, I replied, “Even if that’s true, you know I would never go back to him, right?  It’s over between Carl and me.  In fact, it’s been over for a long time – it just took me a while to realize it.  You’re the one I want, Brandon.  The only reason I’m sticking around is to try to find my cat...and myself.”

“Okay.”

“You don’t sound convinced,” I observed, worried.  “I know what I’ve decided to do probably seems pretty strange to you, but I thought you understood.  My cat means the world to me and if there’s any chance of finding him, I have to try.  You get that, don’t you?”

“Shit.”

“What is it?”

“I forgot I have to do an interview before we play tonight.  Dammit, that’s the last thing I feel like doing right now,” he muttered, sounding downright angry.  “I’m really sorry, Hayley, but I have to go.  I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“Okay,” I replied, hating the time difference and Brandon’s crazy schedule. 

I didn’t hang up right away. 

I couldn’t bring myself to do it when I was sitting by myself in an empty apartment.  As pleased as I was to have found the place, it wasn’t home.  It was a safe, warm place to sleep, but it was also incredibly lonely and the shadows on the walls played tricks with my mind. 

When I heard the dial tone in my ear, insistently and heartlessly telling me that Brandon was no longer on the line, I’d had all I could take.  I stood up and put on my jacket, unable to stand being there by myself for a moment longer. 

My shift at the diner didn’t start for another two hours, so I had time to kill. 

As I meandered aimlessly outside, I noticed a funeral procession coming down the street.

I stopped an old man outside the local deli.  I recognized him as one of the regulars who had coffee at the diner every morning.  “Excuse me...do you know whose funeral that is?” I asked curiously, figuring it was likely someone I knew given the town’s small size.

“Yes I did hear who it was...but this old brain of mine doesn’t work as quickly as it used to,” he chuckled.  He paused and tried to think of the name.  “McKay, I think the name was,” he told me, looking pleased that he had remembered.

My eyes widened.  “Earl McKay?”

“Yes!  That’s it!”  Then, probably seeing how pale I had become he asked, “Did you know him?”

“You could say that.”

“Oh, gee.  I’m sorry.  Were you close?”

“No.  Do you know how he died?”

“Cancer of some sort, I think.”

“Oh.”

So Earl was dead.  The news had come as a shock, but once that initial surprise wore off I found I felt nothing at all.  He had been a creep, a drug dealer and a generally awful person.  He had made me feel unsafe in my own home – even more unsafe than usual, that is.  He had enabled my mother’s descent into an addiction so severe that I knew there was no coming back.

And now Earl was dead.

The Earl chapter of my life was now officially closed.  I would never have to worry about running into him ever again.  His leering gaze would never linger on my body in a way that made my skin crawl ever again.  The knowledge should have come as a relief, but honestly I only felt empty inside. 

I tried my best to put all thoughts of that vile man out of my mind, but it was no use.  As I remembered how uncomfortable he had made me feel, an uneasy feeling came over me.  Pretty soon I found myself consumed by anxiety.

Reaching down to the waistband of my pants, I let my fingers slide over the knife I kept there.  I wasn’t quite sure why I still armed myself with it each morning.  It was habit, I supposed.  And in that moment, I was glad I had it.  The feel of the cool metal on my hot skin grounded me, bringing me back to Earth.

Walking listlessly down the street, I contemplated resuming my search for Mittens but then decided he wouldn’t be out on such a rainy, overcast day.  If he was alive and well, he was probably curled up someplace safe and dry.

I didn’t want to be out in the rain, either.

So I ducked into the first place I came to that looked friendly and inviting.  It happened to be a pizza place, and the entire building smelled of pepperoni and tomato sauce.  The aroma was absolutely intoxicating, and my stomach was growling. 

So I sat down at a booth and ordered myself a large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. 

A short while later when I sunk my teeth into that first delicious, steaming hot slice, a strange sense of calm came over me.  It was like getting a big, warm hug from an old friend I hadn’t seen in far too long.  The immediate sense of comfort I felt was unexpected, but very welcome.  It was what I needed.