Her Hard to Resist Husband (20 page)

“Say yes,” he whispered.

“Yes.” She wasn’t sure what she was agreeing to, but it didn’t really matter at this point. She wasn’t about to hold anything back, and she trusted him enough to know he wouldn’t ask her for more than she could give.

He moved to her lips. “Yes to sleeping in my bed?”

“I thought we’d already decided that.”

“No, you were still questioning whether or not I snored.” His tongue slowly licked across her mouth.

“No snoring. Just sounds.” As she said each word, his tongue delved into her mouth before finally cutting off her speech altogether.

I didn’t matter, though, because Tracy was already beyond rational thought, her arms winding around his neck.

She was ready to lose herself to him all over again—for as long as he wanted her.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

B
EN
WAS
STILL
groggy with sleep when he reached across the bed and realized Tracy was no longer there. He could hear her talking softly from somewhere nearby, and he woke up the rest of the way in a flash.

“But I have a doctor’s appointment on Monday.” There was a pause. “I suppose I could. It’s not urgent.”

Ben sat up in bed, looking for her. She must be in the bathroom.

He wasn’t purposely trying to eavesdrop, but something about the way she kept her voice hushed said she wasn’t anxious for anyone to hear the conversation.

“I don’t want to be gone long. Cleo’s still getting her shots regulated.”

Climbing out of bed and reaching for his boxers, he padded to the door. “Pedro, I can’t leave right this second. No, I know. I’m sure Rosa won’t mind watching them while Ben is at work. She used to watch him when his parents were gone. I’d have to teach her how to give Cleo her insulin shots, though.”

Rosa won’t mind watching them.

The soft warmth he’d felt during the night evaporated. Why would Rosa need to watch the kids? Or give Cleo her shots?

Unless Tracy was planning to be gone for a while.

And why was she talking to Pedro in the bathroom, unless she was keeping something from him?

It wouldn’t be the first time.

They’d been home less than a week, and she was already off somewhere?

A jumble of emotions spun up inside him like a tornado, anger being the first to reach the top.

No. He was not heading down this path again. He turned the knob and pushed the door open.

Tracy’s mouth rounded in a perfect “O” that had looked incredibly sexy last night. But all he saw this morning was betrayal.

“Pedro, hold on just a second.”

She put her hand over the phone, but Ben beat her to the punch. “You’re leaving.”

Licking her lips, she nodded. “Just for a few days. The medical boat docked at a flooded village. There are five cases of cholera and there’s certain to be dozens more, as they’ve all been drinking from the same water source.”

“Send someone else.” His voice was cold and hard, but that’s how he felt inside. “Let Pedro deal with it.”

“He’s not a doctor, Ben. I am. Matt called him, they’re expecting to be overwhelmed by—”

“You’re
a
doctor. Not the only doctor in the whole country. You have responsibilities here.”

“Rosa can—”

Fury washed over him. “Rosa practically raised my brother and me. These kids need a steady presence in their lives, not be pushed off on someone else every time your assistant has a runny nose. You promised me at least six months.”

“It’s only this one time.”

He closed his eyes for a second, his hand squeezing the doorknob for all he was worth. Then he took a deep breath. “I’m going to lay it out for you, Tracy. Either you let someone else handle this, and we start looking toward a future. Together. Or I’m filing for divorce. Even if I have to go all the way to New York to do it.”

Every ounce of color drained from her face. “Wh-what about Daniel and Cleo? You said you couldn’t do this alone.”

“It doesn’t look like I have much of a choice.” He shot her a glance. “
I
made a promise that I intend to keep. Besides, I’ve been through the same rinse-and-spin cycle a couple of times already. I’m sure I can figure things out.”

Just before he pulled the door shut he added, “Finish your conversation, then let me know what you decide.”

* * *

Tracy draped a moist cloth over the forehead of the woman she was treating then used a gloved hand to check her vitals. They were through the worst of the cholera outbreak. There were several army doctors among their group, but this time they hadn’t been sent at the request of her husband but were instead digging drain fields and latrines in an effort to prevent a recurrence.

Ben wouldn’t send anyone for her this time, because he was through with her. He’d said as much.

She wasn’t sure why Pedro’s call had spurred her to action. Maybe her instincts were programmed to bolt at the first sign of trouble.

Like having an actual appointment with a doctor? Was she still running…still having to move and work to feel alive?

No, she’d felt alive with Ben as well. And this trip felt hollow. It didn’t fulfill her the way it might have a few years ago. She missed the kids. Missed Ben.

Matt’s wife sat down beside her on an intricately woven mat. “How are you holding up?”

Stevie had been with
Projeto Vida
for two years, working alongside her husband. They had a daughter as well, but she was confined to the boat this trip. Neither Matt nor Stevie wanted to run the risk of her becoming ill.

“As well as anyone.”

Stevie gave her a keen look. “Are you sure about that?”

“We’re all tired. I came here to help.”

“And you have.” Stevie touched her gloved hand to Tracy’s. “How’s Ben?”

She flashed the other woman a startled look. Word evidently traveled fast. “I wouldn’t know. I won’t be heading back there.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” She gave her patient’s shoulder a gentle squeeze and murmured that someone would check on her in just a little while then she stood with a sigh. “How do you do it?”

Stevie got to her feet as well. “What do you mean?”

“How do you keep your marriage together and travel on the boat?”

“We both believe in what we do.” She stripped her gloves off and motioned for Tracy to follow her. Once outside the tent she leaned against a tree. “Sometimes I just need a breath of fresh air, you know?”

Tracy did know. The smells of illness got to you after a while.

Letting her head bump the bark of the tree trunk, Stevie swiveled her head toward her. “Matt wasn’t sure he wanted to come back to Brazil after losing so much here. If he’d chosen to stay in the States, I would have stayed with him. Because that’s the only important thing—that we’re together.”

“So you’re saying I shouldn’t have come.”

“No.” Stevie gave her a soft smile. “Only you know what’s right…what’s in your heart.”

“I don’t know any more. Ben never liked me traveling.”

“I’m sure he missed you very much when you were gone.”

“Yes, I suppose he did. But other wives travel.”

“As much as you do?” Stevie paused for a moment or two. “I think you have to examine your heart and decide what it is you want out of life. Why you’re so driven to do what you do.”

Because she didn’t have to think about anything else when she was helping people?

In the past she’d worked herself to exhaustion day after day—had fallen into bed at night, her eyes closing as soon as her head had hit the pillow.

Movement equaled life.

But was this really living? Was she doing this because she believed in her work or because she was afraid to stay in one place, where she might start feeling trapped—claustrophobic?

She’d missed her doctor’s appointment to be here. Could she not have delayed her flight for a few hours? In reality, despite Pedro’s dire predictions, there’d been enough hands to fight the cholera outbreak, even if she hadn’t been here. She’d been living her whole life as if she were single with no commitments. Yes, she’d had this job before she’d met Ben. But in choosing it over him time and time again she’d been sending the message that he meant no more to her than he’d meant to his parents.

Lord, she’d made such a mess of things. Such a mess of her life.

And in staying so incredibly busy, she’d not only risked her long-term health but she’d also lost sight of the person she loved most: Ben.

Maybe it was time to start pulling away. Let someone else take the helm of her organization—Pedro maybe—and go back to practicing medicine in a clinic. She might not be able to help whole swaths of people but she could help them one at a time.

Which path was more valuable in the long run? Maybe it wasn’t a question of either/or. Maybe each had its own place in the grand scheme of things. And there were two children who’d trusted her to be there for them.

She turned and hugged her friend. “Thank you. I think I’ve just realized where I should be.”

“In
Teresina
?”

She nodded. “I don’t know why I didn’t see it before now.”

“Maybe because ‘now’ was when you needed to see it.” With a secretive smile Stevie waved to her husband, who was working off in the distance. He winked back.

And Tracy did what she should have done four years ago: she walked to the nearest soldier and asked if she could hitch a ride on the next boat out of the Amazon.

* * *

Ben sucked down a mouthful of tepid coffee and grimaced before going back to his microscope and glaring down at the slide beneath the lens. He had no business being here today. He’d had no business here all week.

Why had he drawn that ridiculous line in the sand and dared her to cross it? Maybe because he’d never forgiven his parents for withholding their affection when he’d been a child?

Yeah, well, he was an adult now. Well past the age of holding grudges.

He hadn’t heard from Tracy since she’d left, and he’d cursed himself repeatedly for not being more sensitive the last time they’d talked…for not trying to really listen to what she’d been saying.

He wasn’t the only one who was upset.

Rosa had chewed his butt up one side and down the other when she’d found out Tracy wasn’t coming home.

“I used to think I raised you to be a smart boy, Benjamin Almeida. Now I’m not so sure.”

“You shouldn’t have had to raise me at all.”

“Was it so bad? Your childhood?”

He thought back. No, his parents had been gone for months at a time, but when they had been there there’d been laughter…and then, when they’d left again there’d been tears. But through it all Rosa had been there. How many children grew up not even having a Rosa in their lives?

If he thought about it, he was damned lucky.

And if he’d given Tracy a little more time to settle in before jumping to conclusions at the first phone call she’d got from the office, maybe he could have done a better job at being a husband this time.

He rummaged around in his desk until he came up with an old tattered business card that he’d saved for years. Staring at the familiar name on the front, he turned it over and over between his fingers, battling with indecision. He knew from their time in Sao Joao dos Rios that the phone number was still the same. Finally, before he could change his mind, he dialed and swiveled around in his chair to face out the window.

Did she even have cellphone reception wherever she was?

He heard the phone ring through the handset, but there was something weird about it. Almost as if it was ringing in two places at once—inside his ear and somewhere off in the distance. On the second ring the sound outside his ear grew louder in steady increments, and he frowned, trying to figure out if he was just imagining it. On the third ring her voice came through. “Hello?”

Ben’s breath seized in his lungs as he realized the greeting came not only from the handset pressed to his ear but from right behind him. He slowly swiveled and met sea-green eyes. They crinkled at the corners as they looked back at him.

Keeping the phone pressed to his ear, he gazed at her in disbelief, while she kept her phone against her own ear as well.

“Tracy?”

“Yes.”

God, he could just jump up and crush her to him. But he didn’t. He said the words he’d been rehearsing for the last half-hour. “I’ve missed you. Please come home.”

Tears shimmered in her eyes, her throat moving in a quick jerking motion. “I’ve missed you too. I’ll be there soon.”

With that she clicked her phone shut and moved towards him. When she stood before his chair, he reached up and pulled her down onto his lap. “You’re home.”

“I am. I’m home.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him against her. “And this time I’m here to stay.”

One year later

Ben strode down the hallway of Einstein Hospital in Sao Paulo, Brazil, until he reached the surgical wing. Tracy’s dad was already in the waiting room. He stood as he saw Ben heading his way. The two men shook hands, Sam taking it one step further and embracing his son-in-law.

Ben said, “I’m glad you were able to come, sir.”

“How is she?”

“Still in surgery.”

The months since Tracy had stood in his office and they’d shared declarations of love had passed in a flurry of medical tests for both Cleo and Tracy. Cleo’s initial diagnosis of diabetes had been confirmed, but it was now under control. They’d even been granted custody of both children.

Tracy’s mammogram had come back with an area of concern and whether it was cancer or not, they both knew it was time. They’d made this decision together soon after she’d come home. She’d shed tears while Ben had reassured her that he’d love her with breasts or without.

Nodding to the chair Sam had vacated, they both sat down.

“She did it, then,” his father-in-law said.

“Yes.” Ben leaned forward, elbows on his knees, clasped hands dangling between them. “She wanted to be proactive.”

Tracy’s dad nodded. “If her mother had known she carried this gene, I know in my heart she would have done the same thing. And I would have stood beside her.” He dragged a forearm across his eyes, which Ben pretended he didn’t see. “How long will she be back there?”