Her Mother's Daughter (35 page)

“I wanted to say goodbye.”

“You said it, now
go
.”

Tansy got up off the bunk and had to walk by him. He turned away when she did. She was almost at the door when she heard a sob escape his lips. “What have I done?”

“I'm sorry.” She opened the door.

“Tansy, stop!”

She stayed still.

“Look at me.”

Tansy raised her eyes.

“You can't tell her. Please…”

“I won't.”

“Promise me?”

“I promise.” She bolted out the door.

Liz's friend Joan was the last to leave the shower. She'd walked over and Liz wouldn't hear of her walking back in the dark, so she threw on a sweater and drove her home. She was returning to the house when the car headlights caught someone walking away from the wharf. Liz had to look twice because she thought she was seeing things. But there was no mistake.

It was Tansy.

Liz lay awake all night, listening to Jack snore.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The wedding was beautiful, as weddings always are. They were married in the local United Church and the reception was in the church hall. It wasn't a big wedding, as the groom only had a few relatives. His friends took up a couple of pews, but that was it. That's why Bay didn't invite as many as she could have. She told everyone she wanted a small and intimate affair.

The morning passed by in a blur. There was the frantic rush to the hairdresser's, followed by Bay's meltdown when she got home. She declared she hated her hair and Bobby wouldn't recognize her, it was that ridiculous, so back in the shower she went and all that money for the up-do went down the drain.

Between them, Gertie and Tansy were able to fix up her hair with hot rollers, a lot of hairspray, and a few bobby pins. Someone had plugged in a curling iron thinking they might need it and someone else unknowingly brushed it off the dressing table. When Tansy stepped on it and screamed “Fuck!” her parents forgave her; it was a nasty burn. Her mother bound up her foot in bandages, which meant the shoes she was supposed to wear with her mauve gown didn't fit. In the end they found a pair of ballet-type slippers for her to wear, which was the best they could do because they were late as it was.

Gertie grabbed the bouquets and ran out of the bedroom, just as their mom flew by looking for her purse. Their dad hollered up from the stairwell that the car taking them to the church had arrived.

Bay looked around the room as if she'd forgotten something while Tansy grabbed a shawl and the dry-cleaning bag that contained Bay's going-away outfit. They happened to see each other in the mirror at the same moment.

“Can you believe I'm standing here in my wedding dress?” Bay laughed. “Remember the times we played dress-up and imagined this day?”

“You look beautiful.”

Bay held out her arms. Tansy dropped the things on the bed and hobbled over to her. They put their arms around each other and held on tight.

“I'm going to miss you so much,” Bay whispered. “I'm going to miss my room and I'm even going to miss you flushing the toilet when I'm in the shower.”

“I'm going to miss you too,” Tansy whispered back. “But you and Bobby belong together and I'm glad he makes you happy. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

They parted and wiped their eyes, laughing a little.

They heard their father's voice shout, “Get the Jesus down here, will ya?” then grumbling, “Girls. What the hell takes so long?” and their mother saying, “Now Jack…”

Tansy and Bobby didn't look at each other. Not once. As she limped her way down the aisle behind Gertie and ahead of Bay and her father, her only goals were to pretend she wasn't limping and that Bobby wasn't there. She looked at the stained-glass window above the minister's head and once she was up at the altar, she turned and stared at the back of Bay's veil.

She didn't hear their vows. The only thing she heard was the sound of her own heartbeat. After what seemed like an eternity, her sister and new brother-in-law kissed each other, turned to face their guests, and proceeded to walk back down the aisle. She automatically took the best man's arm and limped behind them.

No one noticed that they didn't speak to each other. There was no receiving line, which was an enormous relief, and because of her foot Tansy was able to sit on a chair and didn't have to mingle or dance. When people came up to commiserate with her plight she'd say, “I know. Can you believe it? What a stupid thing to do.”

It all became a little too much after a while, so she told her dad that her foot was throbbing and she needed to go home. He told her she was a real champ for sticking it out as long as she did and he was proud of her.

Before he helped her out of the hall, her mother came over and kissed her, and then Bay rushed to her side. “Wait a second. I'll tell Bobby you're leaving.”

“No, don't bother. I'll see you guys in a week. Have fun in pei.”

“No, he'd want to know. Just a sec.”

Tansy tried to stop her, but Bay hurried over to Bobby. “Tansy has to leave.”

“Does she?”

“Come and say goodbye.” She took him by the hand and brought him over to her sister. “Thanks again for everything, Tansy. You're the world's best sister.” Bay hugged her and then smiled encouragingly at Bobby.

Bobby nodded and gave her the briefest of hugs. “Yeah, thanks, Tansy. Hope your foot feels better.”

As Tansy left on her father's arm, Bay was upset. “I can't believe she's not sharing this entire night with us.”

“I know.”

“Why did it have to happen?”

Bobby's distress was evident. “Bay, please don't be sad. It's our wedding day.”

She smiled and put her arms around his waist. “I'm sorry. I know how lucky I am.”

Tansy's father drove her home and helped her into the house and up to her room. He insisted on removing the bandages to take a look at the wound, whereupon he tsked and said she was going to the doctor in the morning to have that looked at. He wrapped it up again and asked if there was anything else she needed. She said she was fine.

He put his hand on her shoulder, leaned over, and kissed her cheek. “I love you, Jack Junior.”

“I love you too, Daddy.”

He closed the bedroom door and Tansy took the quilt from the end of her bed and wrapped herself up in it. Then she cried herself to sleep.

It was like playing house. Bay kept their little apartment as clean as a whistle, but she never minded when Bobby came home from the boat, stinking of fish and sweat. He'd shuck off his big work boots and outer gear and leave them on the floor in the small porch, before he'd go to the kitchen sink and wash his hands and face, always drying himself off with one of her brand-new dishtowels instead of the old towel she wanted him to use.

Then he'd grab her around the waist from behind and pick her up off her feet. He'd walk into the bedroom with her kicking and trying to pry his big arms off her. She always protested because she was inevitably in the middle of something, but he wouldn't listen when she said she was too busy to be loving him in the afternoon and why didn't he wait until bedtime like any other normal person.

Bobby would throw her on the bed and shut her up with one of his fabulous kisses and when their lovemaking was over, she was the one who grabbed his arm and asked him where he thought he was going when he'd try to get out of bed. His answer was always, “Nowhere, I guess,” before he'd jump back on top of her and tickle her or put his mouth on her neck and blow so hard it made funny noises until she'd pound his back to make him stop.

On the July first weekend Bay told the whole family that she wanted them to come over to their apartment to celebrate Canada Day. Bobby wanted to christen their new barbeque, and she had her menu planned down to the last detail. The table was set for three hours before anyone arrived. Gertie came first, holding a bottle of wine and a little gift, which turned out to be a package of four new dishtowels.

“I hear there isn't a dishtowel in Louisbourg that's safe from your grubby mitts,” she laughed at Bobby.

“Hey, you.” He grabbed Gertie around the neck and gave her a noogie.

Her parents arrived with a case of beer and a big Tupperware container.

“Mom, I told you I was making everything.”

“I brought along a few goodies. You don't have to eat them.”

“Are you nuts?” Bobby shouted. “Give me that.” He grabbed the container out of Liz's hand and planted a big kiss on his mother-in-law's cheek, which pleased her no end.

“Where's Tansy?” Bay asked.

“She wasn't feeling well. I think she's coming down with something.”

“Oh, that's too bad.” Bay was disappointed. “She's going to miss my first family dinner.”

Bobby looked away.

Her father put his arm around her. “Don't worry, my love. You have your whole life ahead of you making dinners for this bunch. Now, who wants a beer?”

Later that night as they were getting ready for bed, Bay came out of the bathroom with her toothbrush still in her mouth. She removed it long enough to say, “Is it my imagination or does Tansy not want to be around us?”