Her Pregnancy Surprise (34 page)

“You don’t have money worries now,” Matt said.

“No, I don’t. I make a good income, but I still watch where we spend the money.”

“I meant, with me,” he said. He certainly couldn’t accuse Sara of being a gold digger. She seemed to have a hard time remembering they were married, a couple who shared everything. He didn’t need his wife to work. And she need never worry about money again.

“Oh.”

“I wanted you to know so you won’t worry about quitting your job.”

“Quitting my job?” she repeated.

He nodded. “We talked about it, remember? So you can travel with me.”

“I remember.”

“But?” Matt didn’t like the stubborn look that appeared. Nor did he like it when she withdrew her hand.

“But not yet,” she said, beginning to eat again.

“Not yet? Why not? I’ll be getting another assignment soon. Who knows where, but you’ll want to go, right?”

She nodded. “If I can get time off.”

“If you can get time off! Sara, take the time. Quit the blasted job and come with me.”

“You don’t know that you’ll get an assignment soon. Besides, I can’t leave the company in the lurch at this time of year. You know it’s the busiest time.” Her tone was reasonable, but he didn’t like what she was saying.

“They’ll find another accountant.”

“My boss told me today how valued an employee I am.”

“He’s undoubtably right about that. Should have told you long ago.” And paid her more. Heck, made her a partner. No, not that. A partnership would be hard to leave.

“Maybe my being away helped him realize that,” she said, smiling. “Eat up, Matt. We can discuss this later. We still have to visit the supermarket, don’t forget.”

Matt ate the remainder of his meal in silence, studying his new wife. That conversation had not
gone the way he wanted. He’d thought she’d be thrilled to learn money was not an issue. Be glad to quit her job and plan their next trip together.

Instead she acted as if he was being unreasonable expecting her to give up the work to travel. Which is what she said she wanted.

Women. He knew he’d never understand them. Where was the logic in her thinking?

Sara ate, forcing the food down. It tasted like cardboard. She tried to keep a bright smile on her face, but it was an effort. She felt panic at the thought of quitting her job. She’d worked so hard to put herself through college, get her degree and then the job at the firm. How could she just quit?

What would happen to her if Matt left?

The thought stunned her. She looked at her plate, not seeing the egg rolls and sweet and sour pork, but seeing Bill walk out on her and Amber. Seeing the years of struggle with no help to speak of. The fear that had lived with her for so long that she’d be destitute.

How could she fear Matt would leave? The circumstances were totally different. He wasn’t some young boy just out of high school, but a man who knew his own mind. She wasn’t the uneducated mother of an infant struggling to make ends meet.

Still, the need for security proved stronger than she expected. It was one thing for him to say he had money, something else for her to be dependent on his money.
What if he left?

“I’m finished,” she said, pushing away the plate. Her appetite had fled. The happiness that had bubbled
around her for weeks evaporated. For the first time she took a long look at where she was and what she’d done.

She’d married a man she hardly knew. So far married life had been perfect. What happened when it didn’t go as they wanted? How would they weather hard times—united, or divided?

Dare she risk her security on a man she hardly knew?

She loved Matt, but as she watched him summon the waiter and settle the bill, it struck her—he had never told her he loved her.

Don’t be silly, she scolded herself as they walked out of the restaurant. Of course he loved her. Hadn’t he proved that a dozen ways? Men were not as free with emotional revelations as women. Just because he hadn’t said the words didn’t mean anything. Obviously not, since tonight was the first time she’d realized the lack.

“Where to first, your place or the supermarket?” he asked as he held the car door.

“My place. We’ll see what I have on hand that we can take to your apartment and then I’ll know more what to get at the store.”

“
Our
apartment,” he growled.

“Oops, sorry,” she apologized. Touchy, wasn’t he? It would take a while to adjust to being married, she thought. And the sooner they found a place that was theirs, the easier it would be. No matter what he said, the apartment felt like it was his. Just as her place was hers. He didn’t even want to stay at her apartment, at least she’d compromised enough to agree to move into his until they found a larger place.

The next morning Sara was swamped. Her work seemed to have multiplied overnight and she wondered if she slept in her office, she’d find gremlins mass producing new accounts at midnight each night.

Despite the increase in workload, she left in plenty of time to meet Amber for lunch. The week and a day since the wedding was one of the longest stretches she’d been apart from her daughter. She missed her. She had thought it would be cool to live in London, but now she wasn’t sure. Amber would be so far away. They didn’t have to decide immediately.

Today, she wanted to catch up on all her news, how her classes was going, if she and Jimmy had heard any more about where his next posting would be. To see if she had any questions now as a married woman she hadn’t had before.

Sara arrived before Amber and picked a quiet table in the back. Waving when she spotted her daughter, she rose and hugged her.

“It’s so good to see you, honey,” she said, brushing back Amber’s blond hair, windblown from the breeze.

“It’s great to see you, Mom. Wow, you look ten years younger. Being married must agree with you.”

“With Matt it does,” Sara confirmed, sitting at the table.

When Amber slid into the seat across from her, Sara studied her. “You look tired, honey.”

“A bit. The quarter will be ending soon and I’m slogging through for finals.”

Once their order had been placed, Sara smiled at her daughter.

“How’s married life?” Sara asked, expecting a glowing report, like the one she’d give if asked.

“Okay. Not what I thought it would be,” Amber said, studying the menu.

“Only okay?” Never in her wildest dreams could Sara quantify her marriage as
okay.
She missed Matt. Even the difference of opinion last night had been a small blip on the great scheme of happiness. As if he were making up for something, their lovemaking had been fantastic.

“Actually, I don’t much feel married. Jimmy is on base all the time. He spends the weekends with me, but says it’s too much trouble to fight the traffic to get to my place during the week, when he has to be on duty so early the next morning.” Amber sipped her water, and looked around the restaurant. Looking back at her mother, she shrugged. “I guess I thought it would be fireworks. Instead I’m still studying and he’s still in the Army. He returns to Germany in another week.”

“It’ll be different when you two live together,” Sara said, wondering why Jimmy wasn’t pushing to make sure he and Amber spent as much time together as possible before he returned to Germany. They would be six months apart when he departed.

“I know. When he gets rotated Stateside, I hope we are posted somewhere away from California,” Amber said.

“What?” Sara had known there was a big possibility they’d be posted outside California. She didn’t want to think about not being close to Amber. But to hear her daughter say it surprised her.

“Virginia is driving me crazy. She’s forever stopping over and bringing goodies, as if I don’t know how to cook or something. ‘Jimmy loves my brownies,’ or ‘Jimmy can’t get enough of my lemon meringue
pie.’ Sheesh, he hardly eats at my place anyway. We go out on the weekends and he’s at the base the rest of the time.”

“He’s her only son, she’s probably glad he’s back for a while and just wants to do things for him,” Sara said gently, remembering how overprotective Virginia Woodworth could be.

Their food was served and they began to eat.

Amber looked at her mother and smiled. “So, tell me about being married to that hunk and how your honeymoon was.”

“It’s terrific. And the honeymoon was wonderful. We saw Big Ben, heard it chime. Toured Westminster Abbey, and the Houses of Parliament. Did you know they bury people right in the walkways of the church? I rode a double-decker bus and—”

“Mom,” Amber said, laughing. “I don’t want a sight-seeing guide, I want to hear detail about you and Matt.”

“X-rated,” Sara said with satisfaction.

“Wow,” Amber’s expression picked up. “Tell all.”

“I hardly think it’s appropriate,” Sara said, then giggled. “Oh, my, if I had had any idea what I’d been missing all those years, I would have started dating when you were one!”

“I doubt you would have found many men like Matt Tucker,” Amber said dryly. “He seems one of a kind to me.”

“I believe you’re right,” Sara said, knowing she had a sappy smile on her face. But just thinking about the man made her insides tingle and her heart pound. She glanced at her watch. Another six hours until she saw him again.

It was closer to eight hours later when Matt arrived home. Sara had beat him by more than an hour. She’d changed, and prepared dinner. When he hadn’t arrived by seven, she began to worry. When he opened the door, she felt a wave of relief.

“I thought you’d gotten lost,” she said, running to meet him.

“Tough day,” he said, drawing her into his embrace and kissing her. Then he lifted his head and sniffed.

“Something smells terrific, and it isn’t just you.”

“Nothing fancy, just spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread and salad. This weekend we need to stock up on your pantry. Our pantry,” she quickly corrected herself. This was their place, until they found another. She needed to remember that.

He took off his jacket and tossed it on the sofa. “Won’t be here this weekend. Pack your bags, sweetheart, we’re off to Paris!”

“Matt, Paris!” Her favorite dream, visiting that old city, walking along the Seine, riding up the Eiffel Tower and seeing the entire the City of Lights spread before her.

“I can’t.” The disappointment was tangible.

“What do you mean, you can’t? You said you wanted to see Paris.”

“I do, but I can’t ask for more time off. I’ve had two weeks in the last month. This is our busy season. I can’t expect the others to shoulder my workload.”

“Quit the damn job.”

She jerked as if she’d been slapped. “It’s my career,” she said with dignity. “I’m not asking you to give up yours.”

“Mine pays a lot more and offers perks you could never dream of. I thought you wanted to be footloose and fancy-free—going where we could when we could.”

“I do. But to quit my job…”

“Independence is a fine thing, Sara. I admire you for all you’ve done with your life. But live a little. Come with me,” he coaxed.

She was so tempted. But doubts rose. She knew they’d talked about her leaving her job and going with him when he went on assignments, but somehow she’d thought of it more like daydreaming. Or long vacations from work. She hadn’t really thought it through. What if something happened? She would need a way to support herself. She had a good job, with seniority, the respect of her boss and coworkers. She couldn’t just chuck it all for a fling in Paris.

“I can’t, Matt.”

“Can’t? Or won’t?” he asked.

“Be reasonable, I’ve worked hard to get where I am. I can’t just leave it all behind.”

“We planned to travel, to see the world together. That’s what you said you wanted.” He had a hard edge to his voice.

“I do want that. I can get more time off after April, really.”

“So you’ll skip Paris for a bunch of tax forms?”

“I’m sure you’ll go again before we die,” she said, struggling to keep from throwing herself into his arms and agreeing to anything he wanted. “Can’t you see my side of it?” she asked.

“No,” he said. “I have money, that’s not an issue. You said you wanted to travel, so what’s the deal? You don’t need a career, unless it’s professional traveler.
Which you’ll never be staying home all the time to do other people’s taxes.”

The buzzer sounded in the kitchen. Sara whirled around, glad for the distraction. How could she fully explain her need to keep her career going without giving away her greatest fear—that he’d leave her one day just as her first husband had?

S
ARA
had to give Matt credit for not belaboring the point. He tried once more at dinner to convince her to come with him to Paris. When she refused, he dropped the subject, saying only he had to leave the next afternoon.

“I’m sorry,” she said again.

“Forget it. You’re right, Paris will always be there. I had one of the secretaries at the firm run down a list of places for rent in our neighborhood. Want to go over that tonight?”

“Yes.” Anything to cover the disappointment she felt. She was so torn, stay and keep her career as a buffer against what might never happen, or splurge and go. What happened to the new woman, daring and adventuresome? She was too cautious.

As soon as their few dinner dishes were washed and put away, Sara joined Matt on the sofa, looking at the listings. They discussed the locations of several apartments. Sara couldn’t help noticing the exorbitant rents. She bit her tongue, not saying a word. Matt had made it clear he could afford this, she would not make an issue of it, but she was stunned at how much money they’d be spending each month. She had better keep her job, and maybe lobby for a raise.

“We can take a look at these in the morning,” he said a little while later, indicating the ones they’d circled as being the most suitable—on paper at least.

She wanted to see them personally before deciding anything.

“Let’s get up early then,” she suggested.

“Good idea,” he said, drawing her into his arms. “Which means we should get to bed soon, right?” He nuzzled her neck, causing shivers of excitement.

The next morning they ate breakfast at a bakery near the apartment. The warm croissants were huge, light and delicious. Sara could have stayed all morning, but they were on a schedule. Matt was leaving that afternoon for Paris.

Once finished eating, they headed for the first listing on their sheet. The place had a great location, but no view. Sara shook her head at one point and Matt picked up on it quickly. He thanked the manager showing the place and they headed for number two.

By early afternoon, Matt began checking his watch.

“Is time getting short?” Sara asked, noticing. She felt a clutch of panic. She didn’t want him to leave. She wished she was going with him.

“This is the last one we have time to check today. I’ve got to get home and pack. My plane leaves at six.”

Sara paused in the lobby of the building. “Then, let’s skip this one and go home now. I don’t want to see any more today. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to find something we both like. I was so glad to get my current apartment when I did that I never considered how lucky it was to get just what I could afford as well as liked. Too bad we couldn’t rent the apartment next to yours and knock out a wall.”

“We’ll find something. This is just the first day.
You can look at these others while I’m gone. If you like one, we’ll go together as soon as I get back.”

She nodded, still feeling the pang of disappointment that he was leaving so soon after they returned home from London. She should have expected it, Matt had told her sometimes he barely had time to change clothes before heading out again. She’d seen evidence of that first hand in Tahoe.

He seemed to thrive on the challenges, but she wondered if she could adapt to such uncertainties. She realized she liked the routine of her job, of her daily habits. Maybe she’d been fooling herself that she was a footloose kind of person.

All too soon he was gone. Sara sat in the empty living room and wondered what she was going to do with the rest of the weekend. Shopping held no appeal. Nor did seeing apartments without him. If she were home, there’d be plenty to do.

Maybe she should return to her own place. She could start packing for the move, get rid of things she didn’t need. Make sure all perishables were taken care of.

The knock on the door surprised her. She wasn’t expecting anyone.

Opening the door, Sara came face-to-face with a young, busty blonde wearing a tight dark blue shirt and painted-on jeans.

“Hi, is Matt here?” the woman asked.

“No, he’s on his way to Paris.”

“That lucky guy. He’s always going somewhere fabulous isn’t he? Are you his latest?”

“Latest?”

“Girlfriend. I’m Leslie White. He and I were an item a few months ago. I think I left my favorite
lipstick here. I can’t find it anywhere and remember using it once when I was here.”

Sara stared at her. “I haven’t seen it,” she said.

Leslie tilted her head slightly. “It might be in the bathroom, or in the bedside table. I could take a quick look.”

“Come in.” Sara stepped aside and closed the door behind her unexpected guest. She watched as Leslie walked straight through to the bathroom, and a moment later headed for the bedroom. Sara followed. It was obvious Leslie knew her away around the apartment. Just how close had she and Matt been?

Sara felt a pang of jealousy. This woman was young, trim and pretty. She moved with assurance. For a moment, Sara could picture Matt and Leslie together. She frowned. That was in the past. Matt was married to her now.

“Nope, not either place,” Leslie said with a frown. She looked at Sara again. “You staying here? I saw some girly stuff in the bathroom. Matt usually doesn’t use pink razors.”

“Matt and I are married.” Sara should have told her that at the beginning.

“Married? Matt? No way! I don’t believe it.” The surprise on Leslie’s face was almost comical.

“A week ago Thursday,” Sara said, resisting the urge to wave her wedding ring in front of Leslie’s nose. The younger woman was stunning, her eyes large and expressive, her long hair a pale blond, nothing like her own honey-brown color.

“I never thought I’d see the day. If I’d ever believed he’d settle down, I’d have tried harder. Good for you catching him.”

“I didn’t catch him,” Sara said.

Leslie crossed her arms over her rather large chest and looked around. “I never thought he’d stay still long enough to get married. He’s always going somewhere. But we had fun when he was here. Darn, I wish I knew where my lipstick was. They don’t make that color anymore and I loved it.”

“If I find it, I’ll be sure to let you know,” Sara said, trying not to picture Matt with this younger woman. He’d chosen
her
to marry, not Leslie or anyone else.

But it was hard not to compare herself and her conservative clothes to this beautiful, trendy, younger woman.

“Sure. Hey, tell Matt congrats for me, will you?” Leslie headed for the front door. “He’ll know where to find me if you do find the lipstick.”

She left and Sara remained standing where she was. She’d heard Dex call him a playboy, and for a moment, she’d been thrilled someone like that would single her out. Now she wasn’t sure how she felt coming face to face with someone from Matt’s past.

Rational thought should dictate she let it go. But she couldn’t help comparing the other woman to herself, and coming up short. What had Matt seen in her that caused him to offer marriage? Some of it was the spark of attraction, she knew that. And he’d said he’d always wanted someone to travel with him.

She’d let him down on that front, refusing to go to Paris. It was hard letting go of what was familiar and comfortable.

Not liking her thoughts, she grabbed her jacket and headed to the apartment that had been home for the last nine years.

Sara spent the night at her old place surrounded by
familiar things. As she drifted to sleep, she could almost imagine the last month had been a dream and she would wake up in the morning back to her old routine.

The next morning, she began to pack. By noon her bedroom and the living room were denuded of pictures and knickknacks and books, everything packed into some boxes she’d found.

She loaded her car with clothes and headed back to Matt’s apartment. She and Amber would have to arrange a time to go through the rest of the apartment together. Amber had left most of her things in her room when she rented her studio apartment near the university.

Sara wanted to get an apartment with a guest room so Amber and Jimmy could visit if he got posted in another location. Matt had seemed agreeable enough when she brought it up. Only shaking his head again when he looked at her, teasingly telling her he was still amazed she could be the mother of a grown child.

She’d teased him back—calling him Dad, and laughed aloud when he’d looked almost hunted.

“Never pictured myself as a father,” he’d said gruffly.

“What did you picture yourself when you were a child?” she’d asked.

“A pirate for the most part, or a marshal in an old west town. Until I discovered computers. Then I was set for life.”

When Sara arrived at the apartment, the answering machine was blinking. Matt’s strong voice came across when she pushed the button.

“Sara?” He’d waited a couple of seconds. “Are
you there? I’m at my hotel.” He raddled off a string of numbers. Sara quickly found a pad and paper in her purse and wrote them down as he talked for a few minutes longer, obviously hoping she’d pick up.

Darn! She hadn’t thought about his calling when he reached Paris. He probably wondered where she was. Calculating the time difference, she realized it was after midnight in Paris, too late to call tonight.

She played the message again, delighting in hearing his voice. She wished she’d been home to talk to him.

Sara tried to reach Matt the next morning, but he had already left the hotel.

“Probably working,” she said to herself as she sipped her morning coffee. It was late afternoon in Paris. She’d try calling from work a little later.

Despite calling almost every hour, and incurring a huge phone bill on the company’s line, Sara didn’t reach Matt. By the time she reached home, she was frustrated at not connecting. Where was he? Had he been this annoyed with her when she wasn’t home yesterday? She dialed once again. She didn’t care about the time difference, she wanted to talk to him!

“’Lo,” a sleepy voice answered.

“Sorry I missed your call yesterday,” she said, feeling complete now that she heard him again. She sank into the chair and closed her eyes, imagining him next to her.

“Sara, hi. I got your messages. I tried to call earlier but someone said you were in a meeting.”

“I didn’t get that message. How are you? Sorry to wake you up.”
I miss you,
she thought.

“I’m glad you did. You should have come, the weather is incredible for March. Flowers are blooming
all over the place and nothing’s crowded as most tourists don’t venture forth this early in the year.”

“I wish I had, too,” she said, wondering how long she could stand to be away from him. “The weather is nice here, too. In fact, they’re predicting an unusual warm spell for the next week. It seems like it’s later in the year rather than early spring.”

“I should wrap things up by Thursday and head for home then. How about I see if we can borrow Tony’s sailboat. We’ll go sailing on Saturday if the weather holds.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“Where were you when I called yesterday?” he asked.

“I was at my place packing. I need to get Amber over to help go through things, but we can do that once you and I find an apartment and know when we can move.”

“Did you look at any more apartments?”

“No, it didn’t seem right without you.”

“If we go sailing on Saturday, we can spend Sunday looking.”

“Okay. I miss you, Matt.” More than she was willing to say. But she almost ached with a longing that frightened her. He had become such an integral part of her life so quickly. She wasn’t used to being so involved with anyone.

“I miss you, too, sweetheart. Next time, plan to come with me. There are so many things I wanted to show you. You’ll love Paris.”

“I want to see it all.”

“Just not until taxes are done,” he said dryly.

She smiled. Maybe he did understand. “Right. Oh, you had a friend stop by,” she said, remembering
Leslie. “She was looking for a lipstick she thought she might have left here.”

He didn’t say anything right away. Sara wished she’d kept her mouth shut. But she’d started this.

“Her name was Leslie White.”

“Sorry she bothered you. I don’t think she left anything there.” His tone was distant, no longer warm and intimate.

“We didn’t find it, but I told her I’d contact her if it showed up. She said you knew how to reach her.”

“She works at a company we do business with. We dated for a while. She’s not someone to worry about,” he said.

“Umm.” She wished she didn’t feel jealous, but couldn’t help it. At least he never need know. “Have a great trip, and hurry home,” she said wanting to change the subject.

“I’ll call you tomorrow night about this time.”

“No, it’s late where you are.”

“But we can’t talk while you’re at work. And I’m not waiting till Thursday to hear your voice again. I’ll call tomorrow.”

She hung up. Dammit, she should have gone with him. Matt was nothing like her first husband. The circumstances were totally different. He wasn’t going to walk out on her. She had to believe that.

While she was wishing, she wished she hadn’t seen the pretty girl he’d once dated. Still, she couldn’t shake the nagging worry that one day he’d wake up and be horrified at what he’d done—and leave.

Thursday Sara was on tenterhooks waiting for Matt to get home. She could hardly concentrate on work. Time after time she checked her watch, trying to calculate
when his plane would land. She hoped she would beat him home. She couldn’t wait!

Suddenly there was a commotion outside her office. She looked up to see her husband come striding through the doorway.

“Matt!” She pushed back from her desk.

“I told Stacey you’d be glad for the interruption,” he said, as she reached him. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her long and deep. The office faded, the work vanished, there was only Matt and the feel of him in her arms, his hard body pressed against hers, his mouth doing wonderful things with hers. His hands holding her as if he’d never let her go.

“I don’t know how many of these trips I want to take with you here and me across the world,” he said a few minutes later when he reluctantly ended the kiss. He rested his forehead against hers.