Her Pregnancy Surprise (37 page)

Would the baby’s father be anywhere around? Or would Matt have cut out long before then, convinced he’d make a bad father? Or too caught up in his fast lane life to stop long enough to visit his child?

She heard the phone ring, but didn’t move. Matt was home, he could answer it.

Slowly the tears ceased. She lay exhausted, unable to get up, unable to move. She should go wash her face or something, but lethargy won. She closed her eyes, not falling asleep, just too tired and dispirited to move.

Matt knocked on the door, and the sound tore at her heart. This was his home, his bedroom, he didn’t need to knock.

“Yes?”

He opened the door a crack and peered in, the phone in one hand. “Tony and Dex are planning an impromptu sail this weekend. The weather is perfect. We’re invited.”

The mere thought of the wide Bay and the bobbing boat almost made her sick.

“I can’t go,” she said quickly. “Amber and I are packing tomorrow. Why don’t you go, though.”

He hesitated a moment. “You sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” she said, keeping her eyes closed. It was dumb, but now that she had said it, she wished the words back. She didn’t want him to go off on fun-filled adventures without her. She wanted him to say, no, I wouldn’t have fun without my wife.

“Okay, then,” Matt said. He spoke into the phone again. “Sara can’t make it. But I can. What time?”

He moved away, still talking. She felt a flare of anger that was totally irrational. She’d told him to go. He was just taking her at her word. Why did it make her angry?

Because she wanted to be the center of his universe, she realized. Just as he had become the center of hers. Tears welled again, but she damped them down. Rising, she headed for the bathroom.

Joining Matt in a few minutes, face bathed and
makeup donned, she smiled, hoping she could carry this off. He was sitting on the sofa, the TV playing softly.

“So when are you going tomorrow?” she asked.

“We’re leaving at eight. When are you and Amber getting together?” He patted the cushion beside him, indicating he wanted her to join him.

“Not until ten. Will you be home for dinner?” Sara sat beside him, hoping he’d pull her into his arms.

As if he read her mind, he put his arm around her shoulders, and drew her close.

“Yes, I’ll be home around four or so. Will you feel like cooking, or shall I pick up something?”

“I’ll put on a stew that can cook all day while we work. Can we eat at my place? That way I can watch the stew as we work, and won’t have to get it over here.”

“I can be at your
former
apartment whenever you say,” he replied.

Sara smiled, remembering how insistent he was she think of his apartment as home. Maybe with the new one.

If he stayed.

“What are you watching?” she asked.

“Travel channel. They are showing a segment on the world’s best beaches.”

Figures, even at home, he was longing for distant shores. Sara snuggled down beside him, watching as the exotic scenes played on the screen. She longed for them, as well. How could she fault Matt for being honest?

She couldn’t fault him for anything. She loved him. He hadn’t change a bit since she’d met him. He was wildly sexy, exciting, dynamic. He seemed to like
spending time with her, though she didn’t think she offered as much as someone like that blond bombshell who had showed up. Yet he was satisfied.

Or was he? They’d made such wonderful plans before they married. And so little had come about.

Due to her.

She should have quit her job. But if he left, where would she be without work? Maybe there was more she could do to live up to the plans they’d made, the ones she’d been as excited about as he. She doubted Mr. Pepovich would fire her if she took another week off. She had loads of vacation time on the books.

She would become the perfect wife, doing everything he wanted, so he would never wish to leave. And she wouldn’t harp on the baby, nor bring the subject up more than she needed to in the normal course of events. Once the baby was born, he’d see he could be a great father. She hoped he would be willing to try.

What caused a man to leave a family? She’d never understood Bill’s defection. He had never contacted her, never seen Amber after she was three months old.

How would she handle things if Matt left? How would she handle her life if he left?

The fear clutched her heart. She wouldn’t be able to, she thought. In the short time they’d been together, he’d become an integral part of her being. The plans they’d made wouldn’t come about now, or at least for another eighteen years. Would Matt be patient that long?

“We should have a housewarming party when we get the new apartment,” she said.

He looked at her. “What brought that up?”

“The luau.” She gestured to the scene on the television.
“Reminded me of our move and new place. Don’t you want friends to see it? I do. I’m excited about it.”

“Whatever.”

She smiled and patted his knee. “Maybe it’s a girl thing.”

“Like nesting. Are we getting a lot of new furniture as well?”

“Not a lot.” Mostly baby stuff, but she didn’t voice that. “I like this sofa and the chairs I have in my former apartment will blend in. We can decide before moving furniture.”

She’d be agreeable, fun to be around. And they’d build such wonderful memories he’d never want to leave her.

Saturday proved difficult—sorting through her past with Amber. Sara had several boxes and bags for the trash or charity waiting by the door by the time Matt arrived for dinner. She and Amber had packed up most of the books and pictures; even some of the kitchen things. Sara wanted to go through Matt’s kitchen before giving up any of her pots and baking pans. She suspected she’d want to keep most of it since his place seemed light on cookware.

Sara kept to her vow to be the best of companions. She kept the conversation light at dinner. Amber seemed to pick up on her mood and contributed funny anecdotes from college. Matt regaled them with the snafus he’d encountered in early trips. The time passed quickly and with all the fun Sara hoped for. She was pleased with her strategy.

Before they left to return to Matt’s place, he walked through the apartment. “We’ll get some professionals
in to pack up the rest. You need to conserve your energy,” he said.

“I’m fine.”

“Maybe. But tomorrow, we’ll stay home and rest.”

She smiled in anticipation. The last time they’d stayed home to rest, they spent most of the day in bed—but not at all in restful pursuits.

However Matt meant exactly what he said. Sunday he brought her breakfast in bed, and left her to eat it, saying he had the paper to read. When Sara got up and dressed, he urged her to sit on the sofa to read or watch television. She didn’t wish to do either.

“I want to spend time with you,” she said, leaning over him at the dining table and looking at the crossword puzzle he worked.

“I’m here. I can rent a video if you like. We could watch it together.”

“Anything special you want to see?” What was going on?

“No, what would you like?”

“I’d like to go for a walk. It’s gorgeous outside. April is a lovely month in San Francisco, before the fog makes its daily appearance. Let’s go to Golden Gate Park and visit the Tea Gardens,” she suggested.

“Sure you don’t want to rest up? You’ve been working hard lately. With the baby and all, I thought you should rest.”

Amber had asked Sara privately just before they’d left last night if Matt knew about the baby. No mention had been made all evening. Sara assured her he knew. But this was the first time he’d voluntarily mentioned it. And she didn’t like it at all. She wasn’t an invalid. She wanted to do something fun with her husband.

“I’m getting plenty of rest,” she said.

“So no nap needed?” he asked.

She remembered other days when they had napped. Slowly she began to smile. Maybe she’d forego the park and spend the afternoon in Matt’s arms instead.

T
HE
next few days sped by. Sara didn’t bring up the subject of the baby around Matt. He never mentioned it either. It was as if there was a huge elephant in the living room that neither admitted to. How long would it last?

The strain was starting to tell. She had accepted the fact of the new child and was growing excited. She wanted to talk about the baby, make plans, decide on names, look at furniture, buy a new teddybear. The list was endless.

But she tiptoed around Matt. They talked about work or about the move. Even the talk of travel had ended. Had he given up on her? Fear clutched her every time she thought about the future.

Wednesday afternoon, Matt called. Sara knew as soon as she recognized his voice that he had another trip lined up. He was calling to alert her.

“Sara?”

“Yes. What’s up? You bringing home dinner?”

“What do you want?”

“Barbecue sounds good.”

“I’ll take care of it. Sara, I have a trip tomorrow. A short one, but I’m needed.”

“Where to?” She caught her breath. How short?

“Las Vegas. One of our security setups at a casino seems to have a glitch. Can’t tell for sure if it’s a problem, or lack of training for the security people. I won’t be gone long. A day or two at the most.”

“I’ve always wanted to go to Las Vegas,” she said slowly.

“So come with me.”

“Okay, I will,” she said, startling them both.

“You will?” he repeated. “I leave in the morning, won’t be home before Friday night if then.”

“Or we could stay over the weekend and see a couple of shows. Even go swimming. Isn’t it always hot in Vegas?”

“I’ll make the reservations. See you at dinner.”

He hung up before she could say another word. Probably thinking she’d change her mind.

Sara replaced the receiver and drew a breath. She was committed. What would Mr. Pepovich say? He was likely to kick up a fuss, but so what? She had time due her and a day or two wouldn’t break the firm. She’d take work with her if she could, but the firm preferred to keep the client’s records on the premises. Still, she could make it up next week by working later. She’d been leaving at five every day Matt was home. Next week she’d stay as late as needed. It was only a week until tax day. She’d make sure all her work was finished the day before. Who could argue with that?

For this weekend, however, she was going to spend every moment she could with her husband, seeing the fabulous side of Las Vegas.

The weekend in Las Vegas was all Sara had hoped traveling with Matt would be. They swam in the luxurious pool at one of the largest of the magnificent hotels on the Strip where they were staying. They saw two shows, ate decadently and made love in the sumptuous king-size bed.

For four days Sara put reality away and enjoyed the life she had so hoped to have when she and Matt married. It was fabulous.

But reality returned Monday when she had to go to work.

“I’ll be late tonight,” she said as Matt prepared to drop her off at her office.

“How late?”

“Pretty late. Don’t wait up.”

He caught her arm as she started to get out of the car.

“What do you mean don’t wait up? You can’t work that late. Six or seven maybe, but not later.”

“I have a lot of work to get through. Taking two days off last week means I have to get it down by working later to get caught up.”

“What, are you planning to make up the sixteen hours you missed by working them through after normal business hours? Four hours a night?”

“If I have to. I told Mr. Pepovich I’d get the work done and Friday is the deadline.”

“I don’t want you working so late. You need to rest.”

“I need to live up to my word and have the work completed on time. The clients are depending on us. On me. I won’t let them down.”

“You need to rest.”

“I appreciate your concern, but Matt, I do know how to run my life.”

“What about me?” he asked.

“I’ll see you when I get home,” she said, tugging her arm free and getting out of the car.

Some way to make herself indispensable to her husband, she thought guiltily, virtually ignoring him
while she plunged into work. But it was only until Friday. She’d be caught up then and could spend more time with him.

She could take a leave of absence for a few months. To see what they could have had if the baby had not come along? Wouldn’t that make staying home that much harder in the long run, she questioned as she hurried to her office.

She yearned to explore different cities, visit places she’d only dreamed about. Or even enjoy mundane things like sleeping in if she wished, or staying up late. Or shopping on Wednesdays when the stores weren’t crowded, instead of always on the weekend when half of the city was also shopping.

Arriving at her desk, she quickly set to work. The sooner she got started, the sooner done.

Sara was tired when she unlocked the door to the apartment. It was after ten. Matt opened the door and drew her into his arms. His kiss was sweet. She couldn’t have handled much more.

“Did you eat any dinner?” he asked, as she took off her coat.

“Yes.”

“Time for bed, then,” he said ushering her into the bedroom. In less than ten minutes Sara was in bed, and asleep in less than two more.

The pattern repeated itself every day until Thursday. At last—she was finished! Glowing with a sense of accomplishment, Sara sent the last form off for signing. She’d beat the deadline by twenty-four hours. She was bone-tired, and almost groggy with want of sleep, but she’d done it! Tomorrow would be a piece of cake and then she’d have the weekend free
of worries. Next week she could approach Mr. Pepovich about cutting back her hours, or that leave of absence.

She called Matt at work, wanting to let him know she’d be home before dinner tonight.

“He’s not here,” his secretary said.

“Oh, will he be back before closing?” she asked.

“I don’t believe so. Can I take a message?” the woman asked.

“It’s his wife. I’ll catch him at home later.”

She wondered where he’d gone. He hadn’t said anything about going anywhere, had he? They’d barely spoken over the last few days. She collapsed into bed the minute she reached home. He drove her to work every day, and insisted she take a cab home each night. Otherwise, their conversation had been decidedly lacking in any hint of intimacy.

The restraints of tax season were over. She could do more with her own life now, make sure she was the kind of wife he wanted to stay with.

Matt wasn’t Bill. She had to remember that.

But Matt wasn’t Matt, either, Sara thought Saturday afternoon. He seemed—distant. No other way to describe it. He’d been happy enough when she arrived home early on Friday, but beyond commenting he was glad she was cutting back her hours to a more normal routine, he had said little.

“Want to do some packing?” she asked.

He’d looked up from the paper he was reading and shook his head. “Time enough.” He looked down again.

Studying him for a moment, Sara knew he wasn’t
reading. His eyes almost bore a hole in the paper, but they weren’t moving.

“Something wrong?”

He shook his head.

She didn’t want to do chores. She was free from the exacting workload that characterized tax deadlines. She wanted to do something frivolous and fun.

But now that she was ready, Matt seemed not to care.

“We could go do something.”

He folded the paper and tossed it on the coffee table. “Like what?”

“I don’t know. What would you like to do?”

“We could go to the movies, I guess.”

Sara wrinkled her nose. She didn’t like that idea.

“Sitting in the dark watching someone else act isn’t my idea of fun today,” she said.

“What is? I thought you’d be tired and want to rest up.”

She wasn’t sure if that was a comment about her pregnancy or her work, both of which were touchy subjects.

“I don’t. Let’s do something fun.”

Just then the phone rang.

Matt picked it up. Sara rose and went to the window and looked sightlessly out over the Bay. It shouldn’t be as hard as this to get him interested in doing something with her. A niggling fear settled in her stomach. He was distancing himself. If nothing else, he should have suggested they spend the day in bed, as they had on their honeymoon. It wasn’t that long ago.

Yet it was, a lifetime ago. Before the baby.

She sighed softly, tears threatening. Was she going to lose him because of their baby?

“Sara.”

She turned around to look at him.

“Annie and Tony are throwing an impromptu barbecue today and want us to join them, up to it?”

She nodded. At least it would get them out of the apartment.

Tony’s place was in the old section of town, a huge old home that had been built after the great 1906 earthquake and had been in his family for generations. The yard was guarded by a high wooden fence, the patio at the back of the house shaded by a trellis with a wisteria just starting to bud.

Sara had met Tony and his wife at the wedding. She greeted him and Annie. Tony and Matt were close and Sara wanted to do what she could to cement relations with him and his wife.

There were several couples already in the yard. She recognized Dex, leaning near a young woman flirting like crazy. She smiled at Matt, wanting to share the moment, but he was already talking with Tony in low tones.

“You two aren’t working, are you?” she asked suspiciously.

“Only catching up on a couple of things,” Matt said.

“That’s their favorite theme,” Annie said, laughing. “Come and meet my sister.” She nodded toward a pretty woman in a wheelchair.

“What can I get you to drink first?” Tony asked.

“A soft drink,” Matt said, putting his arm around Sara’s shoulders.

“Right, the mother-to-be,” Tony replied. He smiled at Annie, then reached over the bar and pulled out a cola for Sara.

“Matt, glad you could make it,” a blonde of about twenty-five walked by, smiling at Matt, and nodding politely at Sara.

“Melody,” he said with a nod of acknowledgment.

“Here you go,” Tony said, handing Sara a tall glass.

“Is everyone here from work?” she asked taking a sip.

Tony handed another drink to Matt and glanced around. “Pretty much. A couple of the neighbors, but most are from Aste.

“Introduce her around, Annie.”

“I intend to. See to it you two don’t talk shop all afternoon. Come on, Sara, let’s go see Julia before someone else arrives I have to greet. Are you totally thrilled about the baby?”

“Sure,” Sara said, trying to smile. It was the standard response.

Annie looked around and then leaned close. “We’re expecting, too, but Tony didn’t want to tell anyone yet. But I thought another mother-to-be would want to know.”

“How wonderful. Your first?”

Annie nodded. “Only Julia knows. We plan to tell folks soon, but for now, it’s just family—and very close friends.”

Sara wondered later if it had been a mistake to come. Everyone knew Matt. They greeted him warmly, exchanging insider jokes and comments. When introduced to Sara everyone was polite, but she
imagined she could hear the question tumbling in their minds—what had he seen in her?

Despite the informality of the barbecue, the talk inevitably turned to business. Sara felt more and more left out as even the pretty, young women seemed to have a vested interest in the computer aspects, or the security planning.

After chatting with Julia, she wandered around the yard, noticing how meticulously it was kept. For a moment, she tried to visualize Matt with a rake in hand. The image wouldn’t come.

She glanced at Dex, still flirting with that pretty woman. She couldn’t picture him married. When she looked at Matt she tried very hard to see him in a yard pushing a little child on a swing. Neither the child nor Matt would appear.

“I’m Margot,” a young woman said coming to stand beside Sara. “Annie sent me over. I’m pregnant, too. It’s my second, but I’m just as thrilled as I was the first time.”

Sara smiled. “It’s my second, too. But there will be twenty years between my babies.”

“Oh, wow, that’s like starting completely over. How cool for Matt to be able to have a family. He’s been such a lone wolf, I never thought he’d settle down. Have you picked out names yet?”

Sara shook her head, “You?”

Margot was off and running. She and her husband had a list of names, and were thinking about giving the child several, not just a first and second. She then talked about her son, age two, her husband Brian who was “over there somewhere.” She motioned vaguely with her hand, never taking her attention from Sara. “He loves these kinds of things. I’d rather stay home
with Timmy. Want to find chairs somewhere? I’m ready to sit.”

Sara agreed, glad someone at the party seemed glad she was there.

The afternoon passed pleasantly with Margot. Sara enjoyed her company—especially since her husband seemed content to be in discussion groups from the office. The laughter that rang out from time to time made Sara wistfully wish he’d included her, but she was enjoying Margot’s company.

Annie came by with her sister at one point and their discussion was lively and fun. Margot also knew the secret. Discussing babies proved to be better this time around, Sara thought. Her own excitement began to grow while exchanging hopes and plans with others in the same situation.

The food, when served around seven, was delicious. Tony commandeered several of the men to help with the meat. The salads and side dishes appeared as if by magic from the kitchen.

“For an impromptu affair,” Sara commented to Margot, “Annie and Tony sure have everything organized.”

“Tony’s the organized one of the group. Matt is the computer guru and Dex is best at body guarding,” Annie said. “They play to their strengths.”

“Dex is a bodyguard?” She looked at the man with the shaggy hair, trying to picture him in a tense situation, and failing. He looked too much like a boy-next-door type.

“Oh, he does other things, planning security, training in self-defense, defensive driving, and all. But yeah, he’s their head for personal security.”