Her Valentine Family (15 page)

Chad nodded. “She's working on getting her teaching degree at Stockville. That's where we ran into each other. And until she gets her teaching degree, she's working as a teaching assistant at Lainey's day care. And her son is in kindergarten at Claremont.”
And she's back with me.
He thought of the kisses they'd shared, and his heart warmed. He wanted many more kisses like that, many more moments like that, where he opened his soul and knew that everything he told her would be accepted with kindness, understanding and love. “I'd say she's intent on staying in town.”

Chad had felt an inner peace last night after telling her about everything that happened with Kate. The sharing of that time in his life, letting her in on what he'd been through and on how much he'd been disappointed in his marriage—and in his wife—had brought him even closer to Jess. And he'd understood why she didn't feel comfortable talking about what had happened to her during their years apart and why Nathan's father hadn't married her. He assumed those years and the pain that guy inflicted hurt her as much as Kate's deception hurt him. And, as she'd said after he'd told her about Kate, they had been through enough pain for one night.

Chad did want to know what had happened, and he definitely wanted to know about Nathan's father. If Chad was going to assume a role in Jessica's son's life, then he wanted to know whether Nathan's biological dad still had any involvement with his child and to what extent. Jessica had said she would always love him, but she hadn't mentioned whether the guy was still around.

He sighed and wished that they could have discussed her past, too, last night. Like his, they would need to address her past in order to deal with their future. And he wanted to get to that future together…soon.

Chad had been so absorbed in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed the multitude of confused glances passing between the guys in the dugout and on the field. But John Cutter, always the most outspoken of the pack, wasn't going to let Chad's informative comment go without mention.

“She has a son?”

“His name is Nathan,” Chad said. “I'm actually meeting him today. We're taking the kids to the park.”

“She was married?” Adam asked, his bewilderment with this bit of news evident from his tone.

“No, she never married,” Chad said, and before they pounded him with more questions he couldn't answer, he added, “And for now, that's all I know.”

Mitch, now leaning against the chain link fence composing the dugout, brought his hand to his chin and rubbed it the way he always did when something stumped him. “That doesn't seem right.” He shook his head.

Mitch was a year younger than Chad and had been in Jessica's grade in school. Therefore, he had been closer to Jess than Chad's other friends. In fact, Mitch had been a friend to both Chad and Jess before they'd even acknowledged their feelings for each other. He'd also been the one who, in ninth grade, informed Jess that Becky's brother wanted to know what she thought of him. Bottom line, Mitch knew Jessica pretty well, and the thought of her having a baby with a guy she wasn't married to apparently shocked him as much as it shocked Chad.

“That's all you know?” Mitch questioned. “She hasn't told you about his father? Or why she didn't marry him?”

“She's going to tell me,” Chad said. “We were going to talk about it last night, but it didn't work out.” He didn't feel the need to say anything more about their emotional discussion because he didn't want to get into his past with Kate again. It'd been enough to go through it last night with Jess. “But we're being honest with each other about our pasts, and she will tell me when the time is right,” he said, for some reason feeling the need to explain why
he didn't know more about the guy Jessica would always care for because he was the father of her son.

None of the guys said anything to that, and Chad suddenly wished that they would have continued talking last night and moved on to what happened to Jessica when they were apart. The fact was, she had a son, and therefore, she had a man who played a significant role in her life and would always play a significant role in her life because of the bond they shared. And Chad had no idea who the guy was or how large a role he'd play in his future with Jessica. Unlike Kate, Nathan's father could desire a strong presence in his son's life. And Chad would need to deal with that.

But Jessica had hardly mentioned him. Maybe he was like Kate after all. And if that was the case, then Chad would happily fill that void in little Nathan's life. He adored being a father to Lainey. He would adore being a father to Nathan, too, if everything worked out the way he wanted.

The silence from the guys on the field now was almost eerie, and Chad lifted the bat from his shoulder and tilted his head toward Cutter. “You going to throw the ball, or you just going to stand there all day?”

John grinned, tossed the ball in the air once more then assumed his pitching stance. “Guess you'll have a boy to bring to the park with you soon, huh?” he said.

Chad smiled. “Guess I will.” Then he watched John wind up and throw his best fastball. Chad swung and knocked it to the fence. Rounding the bases wasn't all that necessary, since there wasn't a soul in the outfield where he'd hit the thing, but it felt good to run, and Chad enjoyed heckling the other guys as he passed each base. He made quite a production of crossing home plate, then
cracked up laughing when Mitch slapped him on the back, way too hard to be considered congratulatory.

He entered the dugout on cloud nine. He would have a boy to bring with him to the field soon, Nathan. And he couldn't wait to meet Jessica's little guy, to introduce him to Lainey and then maybe tonight to spend more time with Jess and learn what had happened to her that had left her raising Nathan alone.

A little winded from base running, Chad grabbed his Gatorade from his bag and gulped down a nice portion of the bottle, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He and Jess would spend time with the kids today, and then more time by themselves tonight. They'd talk, this time about her, and in the process they'd grow closer. And they'd continue to grow closer, the same way they always had every time they were together, and in the not-too-distant future, if everything went the way Chad hoped, he would marry the girl of his dreams and be a father of two. Lainey and Nathan.

He couldn't wait.

A buzzing noise caught his attention, and he saw that his baseball bag vibrated on the bench. He unzipped the bag, withdrew his cell phone and noted the new voice mail message displayed on the front. He quickly thumbed the keys to bring up the message and hoped that everything was okay with Lainey. She'd still been sleeping when he left for practice, and his mother already had her juice and pappy ready. Everything should have been fine.

Because Mitch was now batting, and the guys were consequently yelling and heckling, he had to cover his other ear in order to hear the frantic voice on the line.
But he did hear. And his heart clenched at the sound of Jessica so terrified.

“I've gotta go! Jessica's mother and Nathan were in an accident, and they're at the hospital,” he yelled toward the field as he grabbed the bag and hurried from the dugout. “He's unconscious, and she wants me there.”

“Go!” they yelled back as he sprinted for the car. He tossed his bag in, jumped in the driver's seat and then heard someone panting as they ran to catch up.

Mitch, his hand on his chest, stood beside the car. “Hey, man, Jana and I will get there as soon as we can and be with y'all. Tell Jessica that I'll pray for them.”

Chad's gratitude was instant. Mitch hadn't talked to Jessica after she'd left six years ago. Chad knew that, but he obviously still cared about his old friend. And not only that but he cared about Chad. “Thanks.” Chad slammed the car door and started the drive for the hospital, and he decided that even though he hadn't done it a lot lately, now was a good time to follow Mitch's lead…and he prayed.

God, be with Jessica's mom, and please be with her little boy. And help me to be there for her now and to say the right thing, do the right thing, to help Jess through this. Be with her son, Lord. And be with Jess.

J
essica hadn't been able to reach Chad, so she'd left a message that didn't say a thing about him being Nathan's father. That just didn't seem like the type of thing you blurted into someone's phone. Plus, she knew Chad. She'd asked him to come, and he would come. When he got to the hospital, she'd let him know about Nathan. And she'd worry about how she'd handle that then. Right now, she simply needed to get to her son.

She and her father ran into the emergency room and were immediately met by a nurse who appeared to be waiting for their arrival. It took Jess a moment to place the lady. Typically, she only saw Maddie Farmer wearing dress clothes at church, but she now recalled that she worked as a nurse in the E.R. Jessica was instantly grateful to have a friendly face, and someone who would more quickly tell them what was going on at the hospital.

Maddie had definitely been watching for them and wasted no time steering them past the waiting area and through the large silver double doors leading to the back, where curtained rooms lined each wall.

“Your mom is in room three,” she said. Then, directly
to Jessica's father, she said, “Anna is going to be okay, Bryant. Physically, she's only suffered a few scrapes and bruises. But she was in shock when she got here.” She paused. “She's worried about her grandson.”

“Where is he?” Jess asked, unable to control the volume of her tone or the panic in her voice. “Tell me, now, please!”

“He's still unconscious,” the nurse said. “And they've taken him for some tests. We'll know more shortly, when the doctor returns. I promise I'll let you know as much as I can, as soon as I can.” She slid back the curtain of room three, and Jess saw her mother, her head wrapped in a thick white bandage and a jagged cut down her right cheek. Tears streamed fluidly along the cut and down her throat, and her sobs became stronger when she saw them.

“Na-than,” she whimpered. “How's Nathan?” Her teeth chattered nonstop, but she pushed the words through. “Is he—is he okay?”

Ms. Farmer moved to the IV beside the bed and adjusted the drip. “The doctors are taking care of him,” she soothed, gently patting Anna's arm as she spoke, but her reassurance did nothing to help her spirits.

“Bryant, Jess,” she said, still shaking in spite of the bounty of blankets Maddie piled on top of her quivering body. “Th-there was nothing we could do. The truck hit that car, and then the car, it j-just started spinning. Right at us.” Her tears fell harder. “Like something out of a b-bad dream. Nothing to do but s-sit there and watch it happen. And Nathan,” she said. “H-he screamed—” she looked at Jess “—for you.” A sucking cry escaped her mother's lips, seeming to pull from her very soul, and Jessica's heart split.

Nathan had cried out for her when he was scared, when he was hurting. And now, he was unconscious, unable to cry out or scream or laugh…or look at her with those beautiful green-gold eyes.

Amazingly, until this point, Jessica had semi-held it together, but suddenly the reality of what had happened and what was happening now set in. She visualized her little boy on a flat table, with some kind of machine testing…what? His brain? Was that it? That had to be it, didn't it? He was unconscious, which obviously had something to do with his brain.

What if he woke up and he no longer remembered her? Or what if—what if he didn't wake up at all?

Her wail pierced through the rumble of nurses, doctors, patients and machines. It shrieked through the halls, echoed off the ceiling and at once, her legs gave way, the room blurred and everything disappeared.

Visions of Nathan, grinning with his cute little snaggletoothed smile and laughing at something she'd said, combined with visions of Chad, looking at her with those green-gold eyes and telling her he wanted a relationship with her, that he trusted her, that he loved her.

“I'm going to get lots of bread to feed the ducks,”
Nathan said, his hair standing on end from just waking up. His precious little face was a little fuzzy around the edges. Jessica tried to make it clear, but voices were getting in the way of her thought process. And then she thought she heard Chad's voice amid the flurry of sound. She focused on Chad, and suddenly she saw him, sitting beside her in the glowing gazebo.

“I loved you back then, Jess, but after being hurt so much, I realize just how lucky I am to have someone I can not only love completely but also trust with every
ounce of my being. Lies and deception have no place in a relationship, and once you've been in one that's consumed by both, you appreciate the beauty of one that is consumed by truth and love.”
He paused, then whispered, “She's coming back around.”

Jessica didn't understand why his voice echoed so much within the gazebo, but she understood that this was the moment when she was supposed to tell him the truth, and she didn't want to mess that up again. She opened her eyes, and somehow she was no longer sitting by Chad. She was lying on her back, her head cradled in his arms, and he leaned over her, looking into her eyes.

“I'm here, Jess,” he said, lovingly, tenderly.

“I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before,” she said, and he leaned closer.

“I'm going to help you,” he said. “You fainted, which is understandable, but you're going to be okay now. I'm here, and there's an entire waiting room of people here who care about you and who care about Nathan. Lots of people from the church are here. They're all praying for him.”

Her mind jolted back to what had happened. They weren't in the gazebo, and she wasn't on that wooden, rose-covered swing. She was slumped in Chad's arms on the cold emergency room floor, where her son had been taken and where he was probably still being tested to find out why he wouldn't wake up. “Nathan,” she said, then cleared her throat, shook her foggy mind. “Nathan! Where is he?”

“They're still doing the MRI,” Chad said. “And Ms. Farmer has promised to let us know just as soon as we can talk to the doctor.”

“When did you get here?” she asked, sitting up but knowing she wasn't quite ready to stand yet. Her head was heavy and pounded relentlessly.

“After I received your message, I got here as soon as I could, and I just happened to walk in the room in time to see you heading for the floor.”

“You caught me,” she said, vaguely remembering the feeling of falling, but not recalling the crash.

“Yeah, I did.”

A plastic cup filled with water appeared in front of her face, and she looked up to see her father. “Here, honey.”

She took the water, drank a long, cold sip. “How's Mom?”

“They gave her something to make her sleep for a little while. Hopefully, when she wakes up, she'll be past the shock. And maybe we'll have some good news to give her about Nathan by then.”

“I want to see him.”

“We told Maddie to let us know the minute we can be with him, and she promised she would,” her dad said. “We're blessed that she was working today. She said she normally doesn't work on Saturdays but was filling in.”

Jessica started to stand, and Chad wrapped a supportive arm around her as she did. They moved to a row of chairs nearby and sat, intensely watching the nurse's station for any sign of Ms. Farmer or anyone else who looked like they might know something about Nathan's condition.

“He needs me,” she said. “Even if…even if he isn't awake, I'm sure he'll know that I'm there. I want to be there with him when he wakes up.”

Her father exhaled thickly. “I know, honey, and I'm sure the doctor knows that, too. We just have to wait for them to finish what they're doing, and then I'm sure they'll let you see him.” He glanced at Chad. “I'm glad you're here,” he said. His mouth edged to the side, as though he were thinking whether to say something. Then he looked at Jess and didn't say anything else.

Because Jessica was the one who needed to tell Chad why her father was glad he was here, why it was so important for him to be here now, for his son.

“I'm going to check on your mom. Let me know if they come back with any news on Nathan.” He walked away, then disappeared behind the curtain in front of room three.

“I know you're worried about Nathan,” Chad said, “but the best thing we can do right now is to wait and see what the doctors say…and pray. I saw a small prayer room down the hall.”

“I don't want to leave the emergency room until I hear about Nathan. We can pray here.”

“I know, but the room is here, in the E.R.,” he said, motioning toward a single door in the midst of the row of curtained entrances. “It will be a little quieter, and I'll let Ms. Farmer know where we are.”

She nodded, listened to him tell Maddie Farmer where they would be then let him lead her to the door. Inside, like he'd predicted, it was quieter, without the beeping and buzzing of the machines in the E.R. units, the voices of nurses and doctors, and the sorrowful cries of the patients, their friends and families.

A single pew provided the only seating, and in front of the pew, a wooden cross centered the wall. On both sides of the cross, ornate stained glass gave the impression
that the room had windows, even though they were completely enclosed within the E.R.

They sat on the pew and stared at the cross, and Jessica's eyes started to burn. God gave His son to die on a cross, to save the world from sin, and suddenly, with her son just a few rooms away and unconscious, Jessica wondered…how? How had He done that, even for all of their sins? The thought of Nathan hurting sliced at her very soul.

The thought of losing him…

She couldn't control the tormented cry that filled the room, and Chad instantly pulled her to his side and wrapped an arm around her. “Pray for him,” she begged. “Please, Chad, pray.”

“God,” he said, and Jessica bowed her head next to his. “Please be with Nathan. Help him to be strong and to overcome…whatever is wrong, dear Lord. Be with the doctors who are caring for him, lay your hands upon them and guide them as they work to heal Jessica's little boy. He means the world to her, God, you know that. And be with her, too, Lord, so that she can be strong through the next few hours, days, however long it takes for Nathan to find his way back to her. And please, God, help him come back to her and to everyone who loves him so much. In Jesus' name, amen.”

Jessica raised her head, looked at the cross, then looked at Chad. “Thank you.”

“Jess, I haven't prayed near as much as I should have over the past few years, but I still believe He listens when I do.”

“I believe He does, too.” She sniffed, wiped fresh tears from her cheeks. “I need to tell you something, Chad, about Nathan, about his father. I should have told
you before now, I know I should have, but I couldn't.” She shook her head. “No, that's not true. I just didn't, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”

She noticed his cheeks were wet. “I don't know what to say to you,” he said softly, his words barely heard in spite of the silence in the room. He didn't look at Jess but rather looked at the cross as he spoke. “I can only imagine what you're feeling, and I hurt for you. I haven't even gotten to meet Nathan yet, and still I hurt. I keep thinking about, well, if it were Lainey that we were waiting to hear about. And I do understand why you haven't told me about Nathan's father, how difficult that would be, but if we're going to be together, then he will obviously be a part of it, because he's a part of Nathan. And he should be here now. If you're comfortable telling me who he is, I'll call him, make sure he gets here to be with you through all of this.”

He wiped his hand down his face, calming his emotions while also rubbing away his tears. “But I promise you, Jess, once we're together, Nathan will have a father around, always. I might not be his biological daddy, but that won't matter. I promise. He'll be mine, like Lainey is mine.”

This was it. God was giving her the opportunity to tell him, right here—right now. And he needed to know, now, because Nathan needed both of his parents here to see him through this—right here, right now. They'd prayed together and now they needed to be there, together, to help their son.

God, help me tell him.

Jessica looked toward the cross and her father's words, the words from the chapter of love whispered
through her thoughts.
It keeps no record of wrongs…love perseveres.

“Chad, when I left six years ago, it wasn't because of what we'd done. I mean, it was, but not the way I made it seem. And you need to know the truth.”

“Jess,” he said, taking his hand to her chin and tenderly turning her face toward his. “You don't have to explain now. We can talk about it another time, and what matters is now, our future and Nathan.”

“I know,” she said. “That's why I have to tell you. Do you remember the last time I saw you back then?”

He nodded, but he looked at her as though he didn't understand why she'd bring this up now. In a moment, though, he would.

“I'd come to your house to see you, and you said you had some news, remember?”

Again, he nodded. “It was the night I got the scholarship to Georgia. I was so excited, and I told you all about it and how nothing would change between us.”

“And then I went home and called you, told you that I was leaving, that I couldn't live with the fact that we'd given in to temptation that one time.”

His eyes looked pained from the memory, and she hated that, hated that she'd hurt him so terribly with that lie. And hated that she was about to hurt him again.

But it was time for him to know the truth…for Nathan.

“When I came to see you that night, I had some news, too, but after I heard yours, I didn't tell you.”

“What news, Jess?” Again, confusion etched his beautiful features, and Jessica pressed on. She had to.