Here Comes Trouble (9 page)

“Yes.” She turned her head to stare out at the night sky. She didn’t want to face him. She didn’t want to look into his eyes and tell him they’d made a mistake.

She pushed against his chest, and he eased up, allowing her to roll to a sitting position. “What is it?”

She fastened her bra and adjusted her dress. Her breasts still ached, her body still thrummed, and when she closed her legs, she felt the wet and sticky proof of her loss of control. She swallowed.

“What happened…I’m sorry, Matt. That shouldn’t have happened. I got carried away.”

“We both got carried away.”

Lorena stood, and immediately she heard him stand behind her.

“Don’t walk away from me now,” Matthew said.

“I think part of me just wanted…I don’t know—”

“Don’t do this.” His voice held a note of desperation. “Whatever you’re feeling—guilt, remorse—we can work it out.”

“I can’t.” She turned around to face him.

“Don’t do this,” he repeated. He reached for her, but she stepped back. “I will not let you go.”

“It’s not your decision. You don’t want forever, Matt. I do.”

He closed his eyes and took a few deep, heavy breaths. “Listen to me. Forget everything I ever said to you before. We’re starting over, right now, from this moment, you and me.”

She shook her head slowly, filled with regret.

“You can’t really expect me to—dammit, Lorena! Now that I’ve seen you…” His voice dipped intimately. “Now that I’ve touched you and kissed you, you can’t expect me to let you walk out of here as if nothing happened.”

“Yes, I do.”

He looked bewildered. “If you think I only want to have sex with you, you’re wrong. Don’t ask me to do this.”

She took a step back, the moisture evaporated from her mouth. She wrapped her arms protectively around herself. “What happened between us was a mistake. Let it go. It was a crazy act by two people who—who never got any closure.”

Matthew shortened the gap between them. “Closure? Is that what it was?” he asked softly. “Well then, I’d love to have some more closure.” His lids lowered so she could barely see his eyes. “I can give you some more closure.” He focused on her rose-tinted lips, slightly parted, as she struggled to breathe. “I’d love to have some closure in your mouth.”

“Stop it.”

“I’d love to flip you on your stomach and give you some closure from behind.”

“If you don’t stop, I swear, I’ll—”

“I want to give you so much damn closure you forget your name, and the only name you remember is mine, as you scream it over and over again as I ram my—”

“Stop it!” Lorena put her hand over her ears.

“Why? So you can pretend? Pretend you don’t have any feelings for me, when it’s obvious you do? Pretend I didn’t have my fingers inside you and you were so hot and wet you came, and I almost did, too? Go ahead and pretend.”

“You’re disgusting,” she spat.

“I don’t regret anything that happened here tonight, and I’m not going to pretend I don’t want you. You know I do. I haven’t made any attempt to hide it. I feel like a drug addict who’s fiending for a hit, and the needle’s right there, but I can’t touch it even though it’s within reach. It’s killing me. The other day, I was in a department store, and a woman walked by me, and she wore the same perfume you do. I got hard as a rock. From
the scent of her perfume
, because it smelled like you. This is what’s happening to me.” He hit his chest. “Day in and day out. This is what being without you does to me.  Do you have any idea what it feels like? Do you have any idea the kind of torture I’ve been suffering through?”

“Do I have any idea?” Lorena laughed bitterly, past the tightness in her chest. “Imagine wanting a hit so bad, for four years, but you couldn’t get it. You watched everyone else get a turn, but never you. And then when you finally get a chance, you’re high for three solid months, before everything comes crashing down and the needle’s yanked away. All of a sudden, you have to go without—cold turkey. Do you have any idea what
that’s
like? To finally have what you’ve wanted and when you get it, it’s better than you ever imagined, but now you’re not allowed to have it anymore?”

When she spoke again, her throat had constricted as she fought to hold back the tears. “I know, Matt, and I don’t want to go back to it. I don’t want that kind of high anymore. Not ever again.” Her mouth twisted into a pain-filled smile. She stared down at the plush beige carpet.

“Don’t do this.”

“I despise myself for what I did just now. For being weak for you when I have a good man in my life who respects me and cares about me and wants a future with me.” She lifted tear-filled eyes to his. “Leave me alone, Matt. Please. Obviously I don’t have the strength to fight you, but I want more than you can give. I can’t trust you. You know it, and I know it.”

She backed away from him, her gaze trained on his stoic expression. He stood as rigid as a marble statue, his eyes lifeless as he watched her walk away.

When she reached the entrance to the hallway, Lorena turned and ran as if the hounds of hell pursued her. Outside the apartment, she continued to run, all the way to the elevator, and stabbed the down button impatiently.

She shook all over. Her lips were swollen from their passionate kissing, and her aching body was angry at being deprived of him.

She shouldn’t have come. She should’ve known she’d be no match for him, entering the lion’s den, incapable of battling against the desires of her own body and the longing in her heart.

How could she face Lewis now after what she’d done? Could he forgive her moment of weakness?

Chapter Seven

After a rough night, Matthew woke up on the sofa, clutching the pillow where Lorena had lain the night before. His body ached from having slept awkwardly because the sofa was too short for his tall body to stretch out. Groaning, he swung his feet to the floor and sat up.

He didn’t want to be alone and felt the urge to get out of the city. Although he’d initially told his oldest brother, Roarke, he couldn’t attend his Sunday cookout, Matthew called and told him he was on his way. A couple of hours later, after a shower, change of clothes, and a stop at the supermarket for beer, he drove east, toward Athens, Georgia, where Roarke lived with his wife, stepdaughter, and mother-in-law.

When he arrived at his brother’s, Roarke’s mother-in-law opened the door of the two-story house. She stood at almost six feet, like her daughter.

“Hello, Matthew,” she greeted him.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. B.” Holding a plastic bag with a six-pack in his hand, he leaned in for a one-armed hug.

“Good to see you, son.” She patted his back. “Your brother’s out back.”

Matthew walked through the house to the backyard. Roarke stood in his newly built outdoor kitchen, prepping the grill.

“Wow, this is nice,” Matthew said in awe.

Roarke looked up and smiled. Before him sat a large tray of ribs and chicken, and a smaller one with ears of corn. “They did a good job.”

Matthew started loading bottles of beer into the cooler. “And it only took two weeks longer than they promised.”

His brother laughed. “It’s all good. I expected delays, but now I’m ready to kick off the summer. We can do some serious entertaining out here.”

“I’ll say.”

Matthew looked around in appreciation at the pavilion. The gabled bamboo roof protected the kitchen beneath it from the elements. Under the sealed concrete countertop sat a small refrigerator, a rotisserie grill, and storage for pots, pans, and other supplies. A large grill and a two-burner stove rounded out the appliances. An island provided more work space and a sink for washing up. At one end, a sitting area of several chairs included a round fire pit as the focal point.

“Uncle Matt!”

Matthew didn’t have time to turn around before Roarke’s seven-year-old stepdaughter came bounding toward him and grabbed him around the waist.

“Who is this? Who’s this big girl?”

“It’s me. Arianna!”

She beamed up at him, and he pulled her up in his arms to give her a hug. “You’re getting so tall.”

“I know. Papa said I’m growing like a weed, and that’s a good thing.”

For months after Roarke married her mother, she’d refrained from addressing him, not sure what to call him. Then one day she came to him and asked, since she already had a daddy, was it okay if she called him Papa? Afterward, she started referring to the rest of the Hawthorne siblings as Auntie and Uncle. They were all pleased by this development, as they were very fond of her and happy to have her as part of the family.

Arianna held up the hem of her green dress. “See my pretty dress Grandma bought me? I wore it to church today.”

“Very nice,” Matthew said before lowering her back to the ground. “You look very pretty.”

“Hi, Matt,” Celeste called from the back door.

“What are you doing over there? Come on over and let me look at you.”

 Celeste waddled over to be enfolded in his arms. “I can barely get my arms around you,” he teased, referring to her pregnant belly.

“Don’t start. I already feel fat enough as it is.”

Roarke stopped his preparations and walked over to put his arms around Celeste’s distended waist. “You look beautiful. You’re glowing.”

“You need to stop,” Celeste said, her voice filled with pleasure. She brushed his bearded chin with the back of her fingers. “That’s how I got into this predicament.”

Roarke spread his fingers across his wife’s belly. “Look at my boy in there,” he said to Matthew, his voice filled with pride. “He’s going to be a big one. I’m thinking he may end up being an athlete.”

“Probably a soccer player. He loves to kick his mommy,” Celeste said. She turned her attention to Matthew. “I thought you weren’t coming today. Are you staying for dinner?”

“Did she ask me if I’m staying for dinner?”

Arianna giggled and nodded.

“Does a pig like slop?” Matthew asked.

“I take that as a yes?”

“Yes. What are we having?”

“Roarke’s doing the ribs, chicken, and corn on the grill. Mom and I are making collard greens, squash casserole, and macaroni and cheese.”

“Wait a minute, I didn’t hear you say corn bread. You do have corn bread, don’t you?”

“Now you know that would be Southern blasphemy if I made collard greens without corn bread. Your brother would divorce me.”

“Sure would,” Roarke confirmed.

“And I wouldn’t blame him,” Matthew said.

“I know how to keep my baby happy,” Celeste whispered, then kissed Roarke on the chin.

“Sure do.” Roarke nuzzled her neck. 

“Don’t mind me,” Matthew said dryly as Roarke nibbled on his wife’s ear.

“Honey,” Celeste admonished him, blushing with pleasure. Roarke laughed and rubbed her belly.

“They kiss
all the time
,” Arianna said with her face scrunched up. “Yuck.”

“Yuck? What are you yucking about?” Roarke bent over and grabbed her to plant a loud, sloppy kiss on her cheek.