Here for You (5 page)

“Pathetic,” Marc sneered as he walked away.

“Why are we friends with him again?”

“Tomas,” Cole replied. “They’re sort of a package deal.”

“Oh, right.”

But later they’d seen Marc in the sauna and accidentally glimpsed the ugly red welts along his middle torso before he’d quickly grabbed a towel. But neither dared question him. His past remained closed to them. It was sad, though. Marc—with his chiseled features and hazel eyes—was the most classically handsome of them all, but everything about him screamed “Don’t touch!”

“What caused that?” Cole had whispered.

“Burns, maybe? I don’t know what.” Brendan looked sick.

“At least he has us now,” Cole said.

He’d meant it. He’d had other groups of friends before, but this was different. This was home.

“You do work early.” Brendan said it lightly, his eyes still full of warmth. On the surface, Brendan seemed to go with the flow, but Cole knew it wasn’t accurate. Brendan was thoughtful and perceptive.

“I’ll stay behind too,” Tomas said, never one to go far from Marc. “But go ahead and take the truck.”

“River? How ’bout it? You coming with us?”

“Sure.”

T
HE
OCEAN
water was welcoming as Cole and Brendan bodysurfed the waves. River stretched out on a towel, dozing a little as the last of the sunlight stayed, his arm over his head to shield his eyes.

“Lazy,” Brendan shouted out.

River ignored them.

“This is nice,” Cole said.

“Yeah.”

“It’s been a while since we hung out too.” He smiled at Brendan.

“I know. Sorry, man. Things between work and school are so crazy.”

At the odd note of tightness in Brendan’s voice, Cole met his eyes. “You okay?”

“Me? Sure.” Brendan smiled.

Cole didn’t buy it. “Really?”

“Okay, maybe not. I’m just feeling a little preoccupied these days… like I’m at a crossroads of so many choices. You know? Will I finish school and pass the bar? What will I do then? What type of law do I want? What do I want out of my future?”

Cole shook his head. And Brendan claimed not to be an overachiever.

“And then there’s this other road tempting me, full of curveballs.” Brendan gave a shrug and a small smile. “But everybody has a road like that to try to avoid, right?”

“I grew up on that road,” Cole joked. He laid a reassuring hand on Brendan’s arm. “It will work out for you.”

“Gosh, I hope so!” He let out a shaky breath. “I’ve sacrificed a lot to get here and don’t want to blow it now. But it’s all coming at once,” Brendan continued. “What if I choose wrong? There are so many possibilities.”

“Yeah, sure.” Although for Cole it was the opposite. He felt stuck. He wished the road ahead had more choices, but right then he didn’t see them. Sometimes he envied Brendan and the others for taking charge of what they wanted, for believing they could get there.

“You could see what happens if you submit one of your stories.” Brendan, as usual, was right in tune with Cole’s thoughts.

“Nah.”

“Why not?”

“Because… I barely got out of high school.”

“So what? That’s not a prerequisite for talent. I wish you could see yourself, Cole. The way I do.”

“Aw, c’mon.” Cole lowered his eyes. “You’re my best friend. You’re totally biased.”

“I’m not! If you’d simply trust yourself, you have so much to offer.”

“Stop it.” He nudged Brendan in his side. “Jeez! Get any more serious on me, and I’ll have to send up the Bat-Signal to be rescued from the conversation.”

“Hey, you asked me to talk.” But he let it drop, and Cole didn’t bother to point out that he’d asked Brendan what was on his mind, not for an analysis of Cole’s own issues. Who wanted to discuss that? He liked his insecurities tucked away and unacknowledged, thank you very much.

Brendan gazed a moment at the ocean. “Thanks for listening to me babble on about my stuff anyway. I’m sure I’ll figure it all out soon enough. Tell you what. How about lunch Monday? I’ll be home. I promise.”

“Why not tomorrow?”

“I have a hundred errands to run. Will Monday work?”

“As long as it’s not breakfast. I plan to sleep until noon on Monday.”

“What else is new?” Brendan splashed him playfully. “I can do noon. Say twelve fifteen? I promise to make it a nice and long lunch.”

“Oh yeah? Mr. Uptight won’t mind your taking a long lunch?”

“He’s not that way. You just need to get to know Ian better. He’s complicated.”

“Whatever.” Cole stared out at the water. “It’s getting dark. We better head back.”

The mention of Ian tied his stomach in knots, but there was no sense dwelling on it. Maybe Ian would go fat and bald in record time? Or become a boss rivaling Attila the Hun, and Brendan would quit? Cole could hope. The whole situation left Cole edgy.

“Okay. Lunch Monday, then?” Brendan started out of the water toward River, who sat up and watched them approach. “Right?”

“Right.”

M
ONDAY
MORNING
Cole didn’t wake up until past eleven, and he was soon on his third cup of coffee and still yawning, which clearly indicated he had a caffeine addiction—not that he cared. His shift had been a killer, with too many spilled drinks, complaining customers, and tiny tips. One asshole had even stiffed him. Some people didn’t understand that he lived on his tips more than his meager paycheck. Cole would have to ask Paula for more work or risk coming up short this month. He hated always worrying about money and bills, but he was also used to it.

“There are worse things,” he murmured.

He held his sore back with one hand as he wandered out to the tiny porch to examine the sky. After serving drinks all night, he often felt a twinge of pain. Despite his trips to the gym with his housemates, Cole remained a bit too thin, although he did well enough with guys, who liked his combination of light gray eyes and dark hair.

What was Ian’s type? Was it Brendan? Cole winced. Fuck. Where had that random thought come from? He should want Ian to like Brendan. Hell, if he were a true friend, he’d advise Brendan to go for it. Yet he never did that. Cole shook his head. He needed to be a better person and stop secretly longing for what his best friend also wanted. Okay, Ian interested him. He was curious about who Ian was underneath that polished exterior. But he could never admit those feelings, so it hardly mattered.

Unless Brendan met somebody else.

Like who? Sandy? Cole snorted. No, Ian was right there in front of Brendan, working with him, consulting with him. And, God, Brendan so deserved a good guy, somebody like Ian who would be loyal, tough, resilient, and smart. The whole package, as far as Cole could see. Who had a big future and could talk with Brendan about the law and—

Fuck, he was getting himself depressed.

Cole turned to write his thoughts down—a way to get them out and not hurt anybody. He wrote in the kitchen on a spare notebook, admitting all the intense feelings he was experiencing and allowing himself to indulge in thoughts about Ian for a few moments. Then he ripped it up and threw it away.

Before this house, before his friendship with Brendan in particular, Cole had been a loner. Oh, he’d had friends drift in and out of his life, but he’d never counted on them.

Thinking about the other day, Cole realized it was now past twelve and Brendan hadn’t come home for lunch as he’d promised. It suddenly struck Cole how wrong it was that Brendan hadn’t arrived. He phoned Brendan’s cell—no answer. Well, Brendan did forget to charge it at times. Other times he was biking and ignored his cell.

Maybe he’d gotten stuck at work? On a rare occasion, Ian asked Brendan to work through lunch and would bring lunch into the office. Brendan never refused Ian, partly because Brendan was the kindest person in the world, and partly because of his feelings for Ian.

After his tense confrontation in the café, Ian was the absolute last person Cole wanted to call.

It was out of character for Brendan not to come home, not when he’d made Cole a promise. Brendan was the type of friend to always keep his word. And he always came home for lunch unless he was working. Either way, he’d at least call Cole and explain. An uneasy feeling surged through him. It might be stupid, but he really wanted to know where Brendan was.

Reluctantly Cole phoned Ian’s office looking for Brendan, but it went to voice mail. So maybe Brendan was on his way home and was simply late? Yeah, that was it. He left a quick message and hung up.

Cole decided he was being stupid for no reason and should drop it, so he went ahead and made lunch alone. His stomach growled right on cue. He drank some orange juice from the carton since Brendan wasn’t there to scold him, and then set out to create a giant turkey-and-cheese sandwich. He took out the newspaper and did a crossword puzzle.

Cole was munching on the sandwich—mustard and mayo combining for just the right taste—and trying to find a nine-letter word for gloomy, when the phone rang. It was Ian.

“Where’s Brendan?” he asked.

He didn’t even greet Cole, which would normally have angered him, except there was urgency to Ian’s voice. It was past one thirty now.

“I don’t know. That’s why I called you earlier. I figured you kept him at work or took him out.”

“I didn’t. He left at the usual time. Maybe his bike got a flat?” Ian said.

“Yeah, maybe.”

Cole shifted uneasily, putting his food down. “Should we go and look for him?”

“Yes, I’ll get in my car and search the block,” Ian said. “But meet me in front of the office.”

As they hung up, Cole could picture Ian striding to his car. He was the type to stride everywhere, no patience to stroll or walk.

Cole left a voice mail for his housemates. Marc, busy trimming trees, didn’t answer his phone. Neither did River, who was equally busy fixing cars over at Firestone. Tomas was probably at the beach, since he loved to lie out in the sun on his afternoons off work. He’d been a lifeguard for a brief time, before deciding to try to become a nurse, and was comfortable on the surf and sand. Cole left all three of them messages.

“Something might have happened to Brendan,” he said.

He knew they would drop everything and rush to find Brendan as soon as they heard.

C
OLE
CROSSED
through some side streets, calling Brendan’s name. The Florida sun was out in full force, and sweat slicked his T-shirt and soaked his armpits. It was nerves as much as the heat. Cole glanced at his watch, his throat tight. He stared as the second hand went round and round.

If Brendan had a flat tire, he had probably walked the bike to some convenience store and was sipping a cold Gatorade right now. Only, why hadn’t he called? That wasn’t like Brendan at all. Cole tried to clamp down on his anxiety. There must be some logical explanation. Maybe he left the phone at his office. Or it was out of batteries. They’d all laugh about it later.

A lot of their friends questioned why none of the housemates had become coupled off. With Tomas and Marc, Cole wondered too, but they would only say their friendship was too important to risk throwing sex into it, and then they’d both go silent. Cole had tried something once with Tomas, but Tomas had gently turned him down. Since he and Tomas shared the biggest room in the house, while the rest of them had single rooms, Cole was treated to a view of Tomas’s splendid sculpted ass on occasion, but that was the extent of it. It worked out for the best. Cole couldn’t imagine living anyplace else. Tomas dated on occasion, but he never got serious, and Cole suspected it tied back to Marc, who never allowed anybody to get close to him.

And why not go for Brendan? He was sweet and good-looking, with his serious, huge, puppy-dog brown eyes. But that was the reason. He was
too good
for Cole. Brendan had plans, and he had this deluded faith in the world, which instantly made Cole feel like a brother and not a lover.

Now River, when he’d moved in, with his fine body and serious face, Cole could imagine tapping that. But by then their household was working so well…. He didn’t want anything to screw up his family, not even screwing the delectable River.

F
IVE
BLOCKS
of nothing. Cole paused in front of Ian’s law office. Nowhere to go.

I’m on my way!
Tomas texted.

God, where was Brendan? Cole walked along the sidewalk, pacing back and forth by the law office. Miserable. That was the nine-letter word for his crossword puzzle.
How fucking apt.

A
CAR
pulled up, and Cole recognized the black BMW. Ian’s car screeched to a halt, and he climbed out, a look of unease on his face. “Did you find anything?”

“No. You?”

“No.”

Ian’s expression hardened, suddenly devoid of emotion. Ian was in a fighter stance, his legs braced apart, hands clenched into fists. For a guy wearing a suit, with a tie tightly at his neck and a starchy white shirt, Ian still resembled a warrior about to do battle.

Ian had tough, sun-bronzed skin and those fierce blue eyes that had disturbed Cole right from the start. Cole felt as if he were being x-rayed by Ian’s eyes and Ian could see right into him. Ian wasn’t as massive as Tomas or as handsome as Marc, and certainly there was nothing sweet about him like Brendan, but his entire frame exuded authority.

“Let’s try the bicycle shops. Maybe that’s where he is?” Cole asked.

Ian nodded curtly. “Get in.”

Cole got into Ian’s car and buckled his seat belt. “Hurry.”

He directed Ian to the bike shop Brendan favored. When Brendan wasn’t there, Cole directed Ian to a few others. But again, no luck. None of the bike shops had seen Brendan. They ended up circling back to Ian’s office. By that time Marc had left his job and caught up with them. Tomas arrived minutes later.