Here With Me (25 page)

If I were the only one affected I might have a hard time understanding where he’s been, but I’m not. His unit has been dead for years only to show up as if nothing happened. As much as it pains me to say this, I almost wish he were a POW because then we’d have closure. We’d have the answers we need to move on. Right now, all we have are assumptions and fear. Fear that if we ask too many questions, something’s going to happen to us.

“I don’t know,” I say, honestly. I don’t know what to do. I know I want to try with Evan, but also know it’s not fair to Nate. “What do you think if I ask the twins to not reenlist and we’ll move to some isolated farm land where I can have multiple husbands?”

Livvie laughs, not because it’s funny, but because of the absurdity of what I just said. Neither man would even come close to agreeing. Both are possessive in their own ways.

“I can’t believe how much EJ is like Evan,” she says now standing next to me. “I never saw it before because Ev wasn’t here, but now I do.”

“God, everything is going to be so complicated when Nate gets home. Why would people do this to us… to anyone for that matter?”

Livvie puts her hand on my shoulder. This is the first time we’ve been able to stay civil in a long time. Maybe it was her love for Evan that drove a wedge between us when Nate and I started dating. She’s always been closer to Evan.

“People are evil. People don’t stop and think about who they’re hurting. They have a goal in mind or they’re trying to cover up something and will stop at nothing to succeed. As long as they’re protected, what do they care if they’re hurting families? What do they care if they’re destroying hopes and dreams? They don’t. They only care about themselves.”

I push away a tear and tell her she’s right. Livvie steps away when she sees EJ and Evan bounding up the stairs. I move over to the sink to rinse out my mug and wait for the room to start spinning and for my skin to start tingling. I know the moment he’s stepped into the room, and I close my eyes and bask in way I’m feeling. His hands rest on my hips and he leans forward pressing into my backside. I inhale deeply, taking in his fresh scent and cologne.

“How do you feel about taking EJ and Deefur down to the beach? Let them run around for a bit?”

I nod, liking the idea. Evan doesn’t give me a chance to turn around before he’s moved away from me. I can hear him faintly talking to his sister in the other room. EJ is upstairs hollering about something, and I find myself laughing. Laughing at the fact that my house is noisy. That two of the people that I love most in life are bonding and forging a relationship. I’m laughing because I feel like I’m in a fairytale romance with a murder-mystery twist. The sad part is I don’t know the ending.

When Evan and I bought this house, we chose the prime location. While the beach isn’t in my backyard, it is within walking distance. EJ carries his bag of sand castle toys while I carry the beach towels. Evan has a cooler perched on his shoulder, and Deefur is walking two steps ahead of EJ with his leash dragging on the sidewalk.

Once we hit the sand, I slip off my shoes and hurry to catch up with my boys. Evan finds us a spot where EJ can play safely in the sand without him covering us with water from his sand castle building operation. I love that it’s not overly hot today, but am weary of the dark cloud that looms on the horizon.

“Do you see that cloud?”

Evan nods. “I’ll watch it. If it starts moving fast, we’ll head home.” He picks up Deefur’s tennis ball and tosses it toward the water. The dog takes off, jumping over the waves and going under until he surfaces with it in his mouth. Evan throws it again before sitting down next to me.

“This is nice.”

“Yeah, it is. I just hate that I’ve missed so much.” He slips off his shirt and I gasp. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him like this. I do the only levelheaded thing there is to do. I pull out my bottle of sunscreen and move behind him.

He hisses when the cool lotion touches his back. “That shit’s cold, babe.”

“I know, but you need it. You’ll burn, and I’m not going to listen to you whine.”

“I don’t whine,” he says, earning an eye roll from me. I take this opportunity to massage his shoulder muscles and his back. “God, I’ve missed this.”

“Yeah, look at me already giving you a massage.”

He turns his head and peers at me sideways. “You love touching me. You’re using it as an excuse to touch my body. Oh my god, woman, you’re using me.”

I pinch his side, causing him to laugh.

“Do I get to rub you down?”

“I’d say yes if I didn’t think you were trying to cop a feel.”

Evan places his hand over his heart and falls over. He’s so dramatic. “I can’t believe you would say such a thing about me.”

I roll my eyes at him in mock disgrace. Putting the sunblock back, I stand and take off my shirt and wriggle out of my cut-offs. I feel his eyes on me, but I don’t make contact. I don’t want to lose my nerve as I walk away from him.

“Hey, Ry?” he yells after I’ve taken a few steps away from him. I look at him over my shoulder and find him in the same position that I left him. Except I’m certain his tongue is hanging out. “Why don’t you come back here and sit on my lap?”

I shake my head and continue to walk toward EJ, who is frantically digging in the sand. Deefur is laying next him, not caring that he’s being buried alive.

“Do you need some help?” I ask, kneeling down.

“You can do the digging.” He hands me his shovel and starts filling his buckets full of sand. I continue to work on his moat making sure to place my sand on the outside, away from where he’s building. I ignore the dark shadow that belongs to Evan who’s standing next to me. I purposely start to bury his feet.

“EJ, who taught you how to build a sand castle?”

“Papa,” he says without looking at Evan.

“Did papa tell you that you need prisoners?”

EJ and I both look at Evan, both of us confused. “I dunno.” EJ shrugs and goes back to packing his bucket.

“You should run, Ryley.”

“Excuse me?”

“Hey, EJ. I need your help, little man. On the count of three I’m going to pick up your mom and throw her into the ocean. In about two seconds she’s going to start running so I need you to help me catch her.”

He’s right. I takes me about two seconds to realize what’s about to happen before I get up and start running. I chance a look over my shoulder, and he’s still standing there. I know I’m doomed. He’s a SEAL. This is his playground.

EJ and Evan start after me, and I’m screaming. Deefur is also chasing me, and the little shit is cutting me off, driving me back toward Evan.

“Get her, Eban.”

“You’re supposed to help me, EJ!” I yell just as two very strong arms wrap around my waist.

“Such a little tease running around in your bikini.” Evan lifts me up and throws me over his shoulder like I weigh nothing. My lovely son is behind us, cheering him on. I shake my fist at EJ, only to earn more laughter.

I close my eyes when I hear water splashing. It’s going to be cold, but I have to show no weakness. Evan has taught me better. The second I’m lifted off his shoulder, I’m squeezing my eyes shut and closing my mouth. Evan makes good on his threat as I’m suddenly under water.

When I surface, EJ is on Evan’s hip and Deefur is standing next to him. They’re smiling.
This
is the family I’ve always dreamed about.

COMING HOME TO AN
empty house is not my idea of happiness. I’ve been counting the hours until I could return home. Until I could hold Ryley and play ball with EJ in the backyard. This mission was short compared to some, and longer than I wanted to be gone. I have no control over the time though. I’m just happy to be home.

The house has an eerie feel, almost somber. It’s too quiet for my liking. I turn on the TV to create some background noise. The luggage in the corner catches my eye. I rifle through it. I’m nosey. It’s my nature. It’s all women’s clothing but nothing Ryley would wear. Maybe Carter and Lois had a fight while I was gone and she’s been staying here. I doubt it, but it’s better than thinking Ryley has suddenly taken on a transient with her fashion taste.

I walk into the kitchen and pull a beer out of the fridge. I should call Ryley and tell her I’m home, but surprising her would be best, I think. I love seeing the look on her face when I come home. The way she feels pressed against my body after I’ve been gone. I’ve missed her terribly and need to hold her.

Sitting down on the couch, I pick up the pad of paper, hoping to find a note as to where she might be. It’s just her doodles, the silly little drawings that she used to do back in high school.

She draws swirly designs all over her notepad. I don’t know why girls do this. Is it so they don’t have to make eye contact with us? If so, that’s the stupidest reason ever. She didn’t even move when I sat down. I saw her in the hall earlier and almost lost my shit. Evan is going to freak out when he finds out. I send him a quick text, letting him know that the angel that saved him from purgatory is sitting next to me in class. I sort of want to ask her to look at me so I can razz him later about the shiner he gave her. I’ve never seen him so pussy whipped by a girl he doesn’t even know.

I wish I could remember her name. If I did, I could introduce myself again. I wasn’t paying attention yesterday because I thought she was just another piece of ass for Evan. But he acted differently around her at the park, and I’ve never seen him stare at the phone for so long. That’s where I found him this morning – asleep with his head on top of the phone. He had a nice indent when he woke up.

She peers at me, and I smile. She probably thinks I’m creepy. I probably am creepy. Her head pops up and now she’s full on staring. I close my mouth, afraid that I have something in my teeth. Evan has been making me drink those damn protein shakes in the morning to bulk up, but I know I brushed my teeth. There can’t be any residue left. Right?

‘You look just like your brother,’ she blurts out and I’m rewarded with the most glorious shade of red as she blushes. Her beautiful hair, I’d say it was the color of a red autumn leaves, tries to hide her face, and I’m tempted to reach out and push it behind her ear.

Wait, what?

This is Evan’s girl.

I can’t touch her.

But I want to.

I laugh, and it’s awkward. She turns to face me again. Her eyes pierce mine. She thinks I’m laughing at her. I’m not. I’m laughing at my idiotic heart that is falling for a girl my brother desperately wants. Oh, the irony.

‘We’re twins, and you just made the other me very happy.’ Where do I come up with this crap? We’re twins? And why do I care if he’s happy? I want her for myself. Maybe she’ll see just how much of a douche Evan can be, and I can console her.

She clears her throat and faces the front. I want her to turn and stare at me so I can form the perfect picture tonight before going to bed. I want to memorize every inch of her porcelain face and hold her delicate hands in mine. I want to protect her from the world.

I turn away when she glances at me. I shouldn’t have these feelings but I can’t help it. Evan’s right, she’s an angel. But if she’s the angel, he most certainly is the devil and I know I’ll have to bide my time until he’s moved on. I’ll be there to mend her broken heart, even if the wait kills me.

Evan texts back asking me if I’m serious. I could lie, but that will only work until he sees her himself. She's new; everyone will be talking about her. I can’t hide her as much as I’d love to.

‘Evan has been pacing by the phone waiting for you to call. He’s going to be outside that door when the bell rings now that he knows you’re here.’

She looks at the door and back at me. Her expression is stoic. Her hands clutch the end of her desk, and her knuckles turn white.

‘What was your name again?’ I ask my tongue thick in my throat.

‘Ryley Clarke,’ her voice is barely above a whisper but it’s enough to make the hairs on my arm stand tall.