Heroin Love (15 page)

“Well,” a look of disappointment came over him, “not to discourage you but I have been doing this for 30 years and my best case was to get someone down to 15mg a day.”

“That is your success?” I questioned in a discouraging tone.

“Sadly. I have gotten people down to zero with proper counseling and support, however they may be clean for months, maybe a couple of years but they all usually relapse or come back for dosing, it’s a disease that can’t easily be shaken.” He stared at me for a few seconds before getting out of his chair and leaving the room.

Standing in the main lobby waiting for Rachael to come out, I felt discouraged, not very optimistic about the situation. The doctor had no solid stories of recovery to encourage me. Rachael quickly emerged from the back office, a glint of happiness was in her eyes, an unfamiliar pep was in her step as she came to me, giving me a hug. Placing her arms on my shoulders, using her hands to force my head towards her giving me a kiss. She seemed ‘normal.’

Taking us back to the house, she was sitting upright being very observant to her surroundings.

“So how are you feeling?” I asked optimistically.

“I have never felt so good! That stuff is amazing!”

I looked at her and smiled in joy. Regardless of what the doctor said, I now had an overwhelming feeling of positivity about our road to recovery, to start our life. We pulled up to the house, she rushed to the front door, waving me on to hurry up. Standing in the foyer area, she signals me to wait there while she went towards the bedroom. My phone buzzed in my pocket,

Megan: Should I be expecting you for Christmas?

Kevin: Well that was unexpected. Wouldn’t miss it.

Megan: The kids will be up early just to let you know. Don’t be too excited, I am only doing it for Amber.

“Ohhh Kevin,” I hear Rachael calling me from inside the bedroom.

Trotting over to the bedroom in excitement, standing in the doorway, Rachael was laying on the bed nude, only wearing thigh high leather boots zippered up the side, her legs slightly crossed. She handcuffed herself to the headboard, hands above her head.

“Come take me, I am all yours.”

Jumping into the bed on top her, biting her neck, placing my hands lightly on her breasts, caressing her nipples with the tips of my fingers. Rachael letting out staggered moans as I work my down her side, into her inner thighs. Biting softly, licking her, placing my hand on her vagina as a tease. Working my way back up her flat stomach, towards her tits.

Biting her nipples with force, pulling them with my teeth, Rachael inhales sharply enjoying the pain and pleasure. Feeling her pull herself up with the handcuffs,

“You weren’t suppose to move,” I corrected.

“I’m sorry,” she said apologetically.

Removing my belt, wrapping it snuggly against her ankle, securing it on the side rail of the bed frame.

“Now you can’t move.”

Laying my head down in between her legs, propping her free leg over my shoulder. Spreading her outer lips, revealing the soft moist interior, the smell coming from her was divine. Flicking her clitoris with the tip of my tongue, playing with her succulent interior, her back arching, feeling her pull on her restraints. Sticking my tongue fully into her hood, the taste resembled that of ambrosia, the nectar of the gods, pure heaven. Moving my tongue as fast I could to stimulate her, feeling her getting wetter, her thighs closing in on my face, as she climbs higher and higher to her climax. I reached up to fondle her tits, grabbing them firmly moving in a circular motion.

Squirming in her restraints slightly rolling side to side as it became to much for her to handle. Sliding my middle finger slowly inside of her, her tight pussy resisting every push forward. Massaging her spongy soft interior, moving my middle finger in a come her movement, continuing to lick her clit furiously. Her moans becoming louder and more intoxicating on the ears.

After several minutes of eating her out, I stand up next to her, slowly unbuttoning my shirt, “You’ve been a bad girl.” Unbuckling my pants, dropping them to the floor with my briefs, my boner springing straight forward. “Now your going to get it.”

Standing on my knees on the bed in front of her face, grasping her head from behind, slowly moving her mouth around my dick. Rachael bit down with noticeable force just as I got the tip inside of her, forcing my to stop my forward progression. She faintly caressed my head with her tongue in a circular motion. The warmth of her tongue, the semi-coarse texture felt so right. The unbearable sensation she created caused me to moan uncontrollably.

As the grip on me loosened, I proceeded to push her head into my pelvis, forcing my penis into her mouth and down the back of her throat. Slowly beginning to thrust myself into her, she slightly adjusted herself to get more comfortable, bobbing her head signaling me to go faster. Picking up my pace, feeling the saliva starting to build up around me acting as a lubricant, my heart pounding in my chest as I work myself harder and harder into her. Rachael letting out a sudden gag stopped my movements.

“You okay?”

“Is that all you got?” She mocked.

Smirking, reaching on to the night table to grab the red stick candle out of its holder. Striking a match, lighting the candle. I let the wax start to pool at the top of the candle. Holding the candle high above her, I see her body tense as I slowly tilt the candle allowing a drop of wax to fall through the air, hitting her areola. Her body jolts, sucking her teeth.

“Did you like that?”

Biting her lip, she nods her head, “Again.”

Letting the wax drip onto the same spot, her body arches practically lifting herself off the bed. Moving slowly down her body holding the candle a few inches away from her, dripping wax all the way down her stomach to her belly button. Extinguishing the flame with a quick blow, the smoke emitting a burnt scent filling the room briefly. Rolling Rachael over into the cross position, her left leg extended straight while her right is pushed up to a ninety degree angle. Her upper body twisted so I could see her face as she stared at me, her arms now crossed above her, still attached to the headboard.

Giving her firm ass a substantial smack, a hand print immediately appearing on her flesh. Mounting her at an angle, I slowly glide myself inside of her. Her eyes opening wide as I stretch her vagina with my thick erect penis. Pounding her incessantly, she tilts her head back allowing me to stare in to her eyes as I dominated her.. He mouth open, moaning loudly, those stormy blue eyes piercing right through me. Rachael’s eyes slowly rolling into the back of her head, feeling her body tremble with every thrust of my waist, her fist clenching in her restraints as she came. Gasping for air as she reached higher and higher into her climax, the moans echoing throughout the house, finally letting out a big sigh as she finished.

Slowing down, leaning down into her ear I whispered, “I’m not finished with you yet.”

Smiling at me, she bit her lip, moaning in her throat. Untying her ankle from the sideboard I pulled her up onto her knees, her arms fully extended, being help up by the handcuffs, her body forming a perfect L. Grasping the two ends of my leather belt, forming a loop, smacking her ass softly several times.

“Is that all you got Mr. Barrick?” Taunting me again.

“Oh, you need more do you?” Cocking my arm back, swing the belt forward with extraordinary force.

As the belt struck her ass, her entire body jumps forward, letting out a booming electrifying moan that could of broken glass.

“Thank you sir. Can I have another?” Rachael requested in a satisfied tone.

Replicating my strength before I let out another swing into her other ass cheek. Her body once agin jumping forward, the moan significantly louder than the first. Contusions clearly forming on her tender skin. Tossing the belt off to the side I slammed her face down into the mattress, forcing her ass higher into the air, pushing myself inside of her. Ramming into her feeling her vagina tightening with every push.

A welling of pressure begins to manifest deep within. My inners start to tingle quickly, flowing through my testicles, making it’s way towards the tip of my dick. Not wanting to stop, forcing myself deeper and harder inside of Rachael. The mattress begins shifting off of the boxspring. Rachael tensing her thighs around me. Electricity filling my body, the pressure builds, reaching my limit. Gripping her hips firmly, I feel my penis spasm in quick bursts as I shoot my cum inside of her. My thrusts become irregular, my penis becoming more and more sensitive with every push. A gentle irritation sensation spread throughout my genitals. My vision getting blurry as I enter a euphoric state.

Rolling myself off of her onto the bed. Completely satisfied, laying motionless trying to catch my breath, “That was great.”

“Can you untie me now?” Rachael asked giggling to herself.

“Yeah, sorry.”

Reaching up to release the handcuffs from the headboard. Her wrists slightly inflamed from the metal pushing into her skin. Laying beside me her head rested softly on my chest, slowly rubbing my chest.

“I have to go home tomorrow, for Christmas.”

“What? I thought we were going to do something together,” propping her head up looking angrily at me.

“I have to go see my kids, sorry.”

“Why can’t they come over here? We can do something here,” genuinely asking me.

Laughing softly, “You can’t be serious?”

“We can do presents and everything. I’ll make breakfast for everyone, it will be fun. Gives me a chance to meet everyone for once, Megan, Benjamin, Amber, and everyone else. Come on please.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing did she really think that was going to happen.There was no way I would let that happen, even if I wanted to they would never come anyways.

“Maybe next year Rachael. It’s too early for that kind of stuff.”

Quickly hoping off the bed, “Whatever Kevin, just keep me locked up here like a cheap whore. Might as well hang as sign outside saying ‘Toni’s’, and invite everyone over.”

Rolling my eyes in disbelief, “Stop it, your being a little dramatic.”

Pausing for a second, her mood completely changes, “You want pancakes?”

“If your going to make them naked, yeah,” I jested.

“Then go to fucking Ihop,” storming out of the room pissed off.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Waking up at the crack of dawn, getting Rachael up so we could get her dose before I had to go home for Christmas.Very optimistic about our maintenance treatment, she hadn’t had any signs of withdrawal, she didn’t get sick, her mood seems to be improving. Like a scene from ‘Groundhog Day,' Rachael sitting groggy and disconnected from the world as we drove over to the center. The parking lot filled with bikes, two other cars were parked in the parking lot. The line was out the front door wrapping around the building with familiar faces I noticed the day before. The incessant shuffling of zombies as we approached the front counter.

“Name?” The same blunt question asked by the same unenthusiastic nurse.

“Rachael Barrick,” I responded. That had a nice ring to it, I never said it out loud before.

Looking through her stack of paperwork attached to a clipboard. Reaching into the cupboard behind her, grabbing a cup filled with the familiar highlighter pink solution.

“Here, drink this,” the nurse instructed.

Rachael stepping up, gulping down the drink.

Driving back to the house, I see her slowly coming back to life. That familiar glint of happiness fills her eyes.

“How are you feeling today?”

“Feeling a a lot better now,” she assures me.

Pulled into the driveway, “Okay, I have to go. I will be back later to check up on you.”

“What am I suppose to do here all day by myself?” She started to become agitated

“Come on, don’t break my balls. Go on the beach, hang out, watch T.V., there is plenty to do.”

Jumping out of the truck, “Whatever Kevin,” slamming the door firmly, the abrupt change in pressure popping my ears.

Sitting in the driveway of my family’s home, not knowing what to expect.

Should I even go in? Maybe they wont even miss me. No. I want to go in, I need to go in. Talk to Megan work this out, get my life back in order.

Walking hesitantly up to front door, knocking softly, hoping the door wouldn’t get answered. No response, I knock once more to persuade myself I made an effort to go, a few seconds later, I hear the deadbolt click back, the door cracked open. Pushing the door open, I see Megan walking out of the foyer area back to the kitchen.

Christmas tunes softly filling the air, ‘White Christmas’ was playing at the moment. Making my way towards the living room, the kids sitting on the couch, still in their pajamas, eyes puffy. Benjamin was standing in front of the tree, digging through the presents finding one for each of his siblings. He looked up at me, quickly looking away trying not to acknowledge me. Walking slowly over to the dining room table, sitting at the head of the table, I turned my chair towards the children, watching them rip through the wrapping paper of every gift.

The smiles across their faces, gasps and cheers from the excitement of getting exactly what they wanted. It reminded me of the good times, the happy times we all use to share together. Life was so much more simple back then, not worrying about the next thing, the next job, the next trip. We just enjoyed each other, I guess it is all my fault when you think about it, always wanting more, always wanting the biggest and the best.

Megan was in the kitchen making a mess, probably cooking up our traditional Christmas morning breakfast, french toast with powdered sugar and fresh fruit, it was always so good. She added a hint of orange juice to the bread baste that added that extra zing to the flavor. I crept into my bedroom, looking for Megan’s present that I hid in the closet months ago. Reaching above the wooden shelf, felling around, I grabbed the over sized box wrapped in black matte wrapping paper.

Carrying it over to Megan, her face lights up briefly but quickly diminishes.

“No thanks,” turning back to the french toast on the stove.

“Megan, can you just open it please,” I begged.

Seeing her slouch, reluctantly agreeing, “Fine.”

Grabbing the box out of my hand, placing it on the floor. Opening the box apathetically, ripping the paper off piece by piece, resting inside was a plain cardboard box. Grabbing a knife off of the counter, cutting the masking tape that held the box close, exposing the box full of packing popcorn. Digging through it, finally grasping something, she pulled it out slowly. She was holding the purse she has always wanted. A blue two toned crocodile Fendi tote bag with calfskin sides. The silver tone hard ware giving it a nice accent. Her eyes opened wide, a smile started to creep across her face, she wanted to love it. The smile quickly vanished from her face, dropping the purse back into the box.

“Thanks,” turning back around ignoring me. 

“I bought this for you months ago, it’s not a bribe. Try it on, let me see,” trying to get on her good side.

“I will later, I can’t let the french toast burn,” keeping her focus on the oven.

What did I expect? Give her an amazing gift, and she would just jump back into my arms, think again idiot.

Leaving the box in the kitchen, hoping Megan would reconsider, I sat back down to watch the children.Paper filling up the living room, they started to gather all of their presents to put away in their rooms. 

“I think you guys missed a couple,” I stated towards Benjamin.

Looking down under the tree, “No, those are yours.” They all continued to leave Benjamin walking by me whispering, “We got those for you months ago, might as well just give them to you. I should of just thrown them out.”

Amber ran up to me jumping up and down, “Look look look, Santa got me a R-Pad,” Holding it over her head to show me the I-Pad she got. Amber always mispronounced it in a cute toddler voice. I knew she would love it, she was always begging Megan and I for our phones to play games.

“Isn’t Santa amazing?” I asked sincerely.

Hearing a short abrupt laugh coming from Megan behind me.

“He’s the bestest,” Amber replied while scurrying off to her room, grabbing more of her new toys.

The doorbell sounded, I see Megan lick the tips of her fingers to go answer the door. Hearing in the distance, “Hi, can I help you?” Megan greeting the stranger at the door.

Faintly hearing, “My name is Rachael, I just moved in down the street, wanted to wish your family a Merry Christmas,” the voice oddly familiar, I got up to go see who it was.

It was fucking Rachael.

She was standing in my doorway done up to the T, she did look stunning in her mid-thigh length red dress with a sweetheart neckline, with long sleeves. Her hair tied up in a pony tail, her mascara done just right. She was holding a bottle of wine in her hands, talking to Megan.

Trying to compose myself, “Who is it honey?” Placing my hand on her lower back, feeling her body tense up repulsed by the feeling of me touching her.

“Our new neighbor, she just moved into a house down the street. Rachael this is my husband Kevin.

Reaching my hand out to shake her hand, her conniving smile getting larger “Nice to meet you, your so lucky to have such a handsome husband,” Rachael reaching her hand out to shake my hand, I notice she is wearing the heart bracelet that I stole back from Megan.

“Where’s Amber?” Trying to distract Megan. She looked behind us, I signaled Rachael to hid her wrist from sight, she just continued to smile. Clearing my throat, “What’s that in your hand?”

“Oh, silly me. I got this for you guys, It was always my favorite,” handing Megan the bottle of wine.

“Cheval, that’s my favorite too. Thank you very much.”

“I guess beautiful women think alike,” Rachael joked.

“It was nice meeting you, we have breakfast on the stove,” I quickly interrupted. 

“Kevin stop being rude,” Megan scolded me. “Do you want to come in for some french toast? We have plenty.”

I see Rachael’s eyes light up with joy, “I would love to, but I don’t want to intrude.”

“Yeah, maybe next time,” I said starting to close the door.

“I will see you guys around,” Rachael giving me a wink, twirling around.

“Kevin why are you being so rude?”

“I just think we need some us time.”

“There is no us time, your just here for Amber. Now our new neighbors think we are assholes, thanks again.” She snarked and went back into the kitchen.

Leaning against the door, letting out a big sigh of relief. I peered through the peep hole on the door, I see Rachael standing by her car in the driveway staring at the house. Watching her for a minute or so, she finally got into her car and drove off. Megan calling out for the kids, breakfast was ready, the stampede of kids come running from around the corner towards the kitchen.

The table was set with white plates that had Christmas Hollies painted on the outer edge of the plates. The silverware rested nicely on red napkins, the french toast stacked on a silver platter in the middle of the table. Red candles lit on white candle holders, a bowls of fresh cut strawberries, blueberries, and blackberries surrounded the french toast. Everyone sitting patiently waiting for Megan to serve the food. Giving everyone a few pieces of french toast, a spoonful of each berry, everyone getting served except me. Megan looking at me with distasteful eyes, I get up to serve myself, grabbing several pieces of french toast and strawberries. Twisting the lever on the shaker to coat my meal in a fine layer of powdered sugar. 

As I sit down, I remember I wanted syrup, “Can someone pass me the syrup?” I announced generally and politely.

I see Amber reach for the syrup, walking around the table to give it to me. The familiar crystal container provoked a smile on my face, last time I saw it I was getting head at my dining room table. A slow steady stream of syrup poured out as I made a zig-zag design over the entire plate.

The table was painstakingly quiet as it always was, the clanking of silverware as everyone ate. The kids scarfing there food down, asking to be excused. They ran out of the room with great haste to go enjoy their gifts. Megan sitting directly across from me at the other head of the table.

“The french toast is delicious,” I tried to break the tension.

Looking at me with a concrete face, she gets up to start cleaning up the table. I quickly stop eating and get up to try and help her.

“I got it,” snapping at me.

“Okay...”

Stacking everyones plates together, bringing them into the kitchen and placing them into the sink like always. As she makes her way towards me she leans in to whisper into my ear.

“Christmas is over, you can leave now.”

Bewildered by her comment, “What? I thought we could talk about a few things.”

“Are you going to be staying all night?”

I shook my head, ashamed.

“When you can stay here a night we will talk. Until then get out of my house.”

“Fine,” getting up from the table leaving my plate and mess behind, grabbing my presents from beneath the tree. Walking towards the exit, Amber jumps in front of me.

“Where you going?”

Kneeling down to get eye level with her, “I have to go, I will be back, I promise,” giving her a peck on the forehand.

She leans in to give me a big hug, “I love you.”

Rubbing her back for a moment, I got up and left.

Jumping into my truck staring at the metallic red presents sitting beside me, deciding to open them against my better judgement. Opening the rectangular shaped box first, assuming it was a piece of clothing just by the weight and shape of the box. Pulling out a faded mono-green shirt, an oblong symbol covering the front of the shirt, ‘Bank of Dad- An institute of giving even since I could remember,’ read across the shirt surrounded by money symbols. The shirt even smelled like a fresh crisp bill right off the press. I smiled in disbelief at the joke, how typical. The other box was taller and rectangular, having some substantial weight to it. Opening the box, a black onyx desk name plate, with white lettering carved into the side, ‘Kevin Barrick--CEO Onyx Environmental.’ In small script letters underneath read ‘Best Dad In The World.’ My eyes starting to tear as a feeling of regret and shame came over me. I really have let everyone down, I am just a fucking waste.