Hers (24 page)

“You. Turn the other way.” I point at Levi, and he laughs and turns to face away from the display on the scale.

“You didn't lose any weight; that is great!” The nurse is over the moon. I guess she really takes her job seriously. She leaves us alone in the room, waiting for the doctor. Levi thumbs over some brochures on the counter, and I tap my finger nervously against the metal side of the exam table. “You should have seen it last time. I was half naked and the doctor came at me with that wand thing. I can't even laugh about where he shoved it.” I point at the wand on the ultrasound machine sitting across from me. That shit is totally taunting me too, laughing at my fear.

A knock comes, and the doctor makes his way in. “Nice to see you again, Miss James, and Mr...” He trails off, extending his hand to Levi.

“Parker, Levi Parker,” he replies in greeting.

“They should have asked you to strip from the waist down, Miss James. We are going to do another ultrasound.” Dread runs across my face, and Levi looks like he wants to burst out laughing.
Real fucking funny. Why don't I probe YOU with that? Never mind, I am sure you would like it.

“I thought we were just going to hear the heartbeat today?” My question is genuine, and I am totally trying to get out of the vaginal probe again; wouldn't you be?

“Seven, it is still too early to hear it from the outside of your stomach. We have to do an internal ultrasound again.”

I stop complaining when I see Levi's entire face light up like a Christmas tree. He’s excited and, even though I am downright miserable, his gleeful expression makes me willing to walk to Hell and back with that stupid wand up my vag just to keep that smile plastered on his face. I am so losing my fucking edge.

The doctor leaves, only long enough for me to slide down the black pinstriped slacks I have on, and climb back onto the exam table. Levi scoots the chair closer to my side and takes a hold of my hand. He kisses the tip of each finger, and stops when his lips press to the back of my hand. “I can't wait to see our baby,” he quietly says, as the door opens back up.

“We ready?”

The doctor starts typing on the ultrasound machine again, and I can't do anything but let out a sigh. “Yes.” The probe does its thing. This time it isn't all bad. I guess my nerves last time around made shit like a million times worse. I'm a regular old pro now.

“Is that…” Levi trails off, looking at the screen, still holding tightly onto my hand.

“Sure is. Your baby. Let me track down the heartbeat.” The doctor moves the wand, and we can both see it squirming around. It isn't much, but you can see the distinct movements on the screen. To the right, then a little bit to the left. Then the most wonderful sound fills my ears.

Woosh, woosh, woosh, woosh, woosh, woosh, woosh, woosh.

“That is the heartbeat, nice and strong. I will print out a couple more pictures as well.” He continues doing whatever it is doctors do with these machines, and I look at Levi, completely stunned and trying not to cry. These damn hormones have me crying more than I have in my entire life. Literally.

Any reservations about having a baby are gone. The idea that I almost opted for an abortion runs through my mind on repeat, but I know in my heart, I could have never gone through with it. If it had been anyone else other than Levi by my side for this, I would have hightailed it over to the abortion clinic without a second thought, but he, this man, just makes my world so worth living once again. I have been on autopilot for so many years, just getting by day-to-day, and then he walked into my life. My kink club. I used him as a play thing. He used me as his Dom. The universe just couldn't let it be, though, and I am glad. It was time for me to actually live. Be wanted. Stop living in the past. This is my future. Levi, and this baby. Fuck, it looks bright.

“You know we are only going for a three night vacation, right, Seven?” Levi laughs as he helps Clyde pull the bags out of the car. I wave him off and walk up the stairs to the private jet, sitting on the tarmac.

“I pay him to do that, you know that, right?”

He ignores me and continues helping my damn hired help, and I make myself comfortable.

I pop a Dramamine, and my nausea medication with the bottle of ginger ale, which I now carry in my purse everywhere I go. People who tell you it doesn't work are liars. It helps immensely. Levi sits down next to me as I pick up my notebook and pull out the list. “I believe we have some work to do.”

The Before Baby List

Join the Mile High Club

One last threesome at the club

Reverse Dom roles

Sex in public (again)

Have a foursome

Make a sex tape

Erotic Photo Shoot

Have phone sex/Skype Sex

Sex in a pool

Watch Porn together

Roleplay

Play Strip Poker (in Vegas)

Sex in an Elevator

“I think we can knock most of those out while we are here in Vegas. Or at least on our way.” He leans in close to me, whispering in my ear.

“Well, as soon as we are in the air, you have a whole half hour to accomplish the mile high club, because I am medicated, and will pass out.” I can't help but laugh, because it is the truth.

A Vegas Surprise (Three Days Later)

“Where are we going, Levi?”

We step into an empty stretch limo, and it immediately pulls off, heading for the strip.

“It's a surprise.” His fingers lace between mine, and thumb over the diamond that sits perfectly on the ring finger of my left hand. It is giant, impressive, and flashy. Everything I am not. Well, maybe impressive, but all of the others just don't fit me. When I returned from a lush spa day, I entered our penthouse suite only to find every surface covered with rose petals.

I never thought I would melt at the old cliché of rose petals, but between actually seeing it in real life, with my own two eyes, and smelling the rich floral smell, I loved every minute. Finally, I found Levi, after looking through almost every room in the place. He kneeled at the end of the bed in the master suite, a small blue Tiffany's box in his hand. My heart pounded so hard against my chest, I thought it was going to break through my skin and skip across the room.

“Seven, I never thought I would want to get married again. I never thought we would have anything more than sex. I can't even tell you how glad I am that you gave me a chance. This is quick, but clearly, we do things a little on the untraditional side. I know you are my forever. You and our baby. You own me; you have since that first night we were together. I love you, Seven James. Will you let me want you forever?”

Would I let him want me forever?
How could I say no to that? Did I ever think I would get married? Hell no. But I didn't want to say anything but yes to Levi. So I did. I said yes. I promised myself I would start living, and that is exactly what I would do. Live. With this amazing man by my side for life, or until we kill each other in some kind of violent or bizarre sex act.

Now we sit in the back of the limo, and I wonder where the fuck this guy is dragging me off to. I cross my legs and the short black cocktail dress I have on rides up further. I hope wherever he takes me, I am dressed half way decent, although I could totally double as a street walker. Speaking of street walkers, I was so close to dragging Levi to the Bunny Ranch. I've always wanted to go. I mean, seriously, how can you beat legal prostitution? The women are fucking smoking too! He brushed it off with some excuse about me being pregnant and prostitutes not being the safest idea. Whatever, a girl can totally dream.

I turn as the car starts to slow, and we pull into a parking lot.

“You ready?” Levi asks as the car comes to a stop.

You have got to be fucking kidding me.
“You are serious, aren't you?” I burst out laughing as I look out the window, seeing the sign that reads
The Little White Wedding Chapel
. He is serious as a heart attack too.

“You aren't leaving Vegas as Seven James.” I laugh, because I know he is serious. I want to fight him on it; I really do. But I also want to leave Vegas as Seven Parker. Is that bad? Oh well. If it is, I do not give a single fuck.

“Well, Viva Las Vegas!” I take his hand and walk for the chapel. “I only agree to this if Elvis marries us.”

Sex is all I have ever known.
It started at an early age, and never stopped. Men, women, threesomes, foursomes, orgies. Fuck it, whatever goes.
Twenty-eight-years-old and nothing to show for my life but a fat bank account, and an impressive porn catalogue. All featuring yours truly. Starburst Bloom.
I've met a crossroads, and I have a choice to make. I choose salvation. I choose life. I choose myself, for the first time ever.
I will find her. I will find the life I was forced to give up. I just pray that he stays out of my way.

P
ROLOGUE

Nearly eleven years ago

I look down at the crying newborn lying on my naked chest. It is warm, wet, covered in blood, and screaming, but I’m not bothered. This is
my
baby. This is the baby I have grown in my body for nine months. This is the baby I nurtured. I love it. I could never hate my own baby despite the circumstances in which it was created.

“ Merry Christmas! It's a girl,” the nurse exclaims, while they rub my daughter’s tiny body down. Scrubbing all the fluids off of her. The cries coming from the baby turn into little whimpers and soon, she is rooting for my breast. Finding it with ease, she starts to suckle, and for the first time in my life, I feel love. I love this little girl more than life itself. I love my daughter. I love Willow.

As she nurses, I examine every feature on her plump little face. Her lips are full, cheeks are chubby and full, a small dimple graces the right side of her face, and as her eye lids flutter, I can see the smallest bit of blue leading me to believe she has her father's eyes.

Her father.

That fucking sack of shit.

All those years ago, I’d thought I loved Blue James, my best friend's older brother by thirteen some odd years. He was the bad boy everyone swooned over. I always thought it was a rite of passage to crush on your best friend's brother. When I was sixteen, he came on to me. We would mess around, but I always stopped it before it went too far. I was a virgin, and nobody knew I was completely in love with his little sister, and my best friend, Seven. She was my everything. My entire world. No matter what happened, she was there for me.

When Blue realized that there was more to our friendship than met the eye, he took what he wanted. He took my virginity. He didn't ask, or plead. He raped me. Took something I would have never given him. He led me to believe it was
my fault
. I had led him on, and a man so much older than me had
needs
. I couldn't mess around with him, without
finishing
him off. He was the first man I had been with, and the only man for a long time.