Hidden Deep (11 page)

I carefully removed a small cork from the top of the thin metallic tube and pressed it lightly to my lips, directing a trickle of the liquid into my mouth. The sensation was immediate and exquisite. The delicious sweetness spread across my tongue and into my cheeks, down my throat and through my stomach, carrying a pleasurable heat with it. Exactly as I remembered from long ago, the warmth bloomed throughout my body, tingling and melting through every part of me. I realized then why Lad’s mouth had tasted so good when we’d kissed.

“What
is
this?”

“Saol water. It’s a staple of our diet. Your language doesn’t really have a direct translation, but it would be something like ‘water of life.’ What do you think?”

“I think it’s incredible. Where does it come from?”

I recognized his guarded look. It meant no answer would be forthcoming. I nodded my head side to side like a bobble-head doll. “I know, I know, you can’t tell me.”

“Sorry.” He smiled at my silliness and held up the Thermos. “I drank all the tea. Will you bring more for me?”

He looked so eager and sincere, and God help me, so gorgeous. I couldn’t help but forgive him his maddening secrecy, at least for now. But I saw an opportunity to negotiate at least a little information out of him.

“I’ll be happy to bring you some more… on one condition.”

Lad’s eyes narrowed with wariness. “What condition?”

“You have to answer a question.” He started to shake his head, and I held up a finger in warning. “No answers, no sweet tea.”

“You are cruel,” he accused, smiling, then paused. “All right. One.”

“Show me where you live.” It was worth a shot.

“That is
not
a question, and if it were, the answer would be ‘absolutely no.’ Try again.”

“
When
will you show me where you live?”

“You’re impossible. You’ve actually been there already. Next question.” He grinned in a
gotch
a kind of way.

Shock left me silent for a few moments. “What? You mean your tree house?”

“You really don’t remember, do you? I guess it worked.”

“What worked? What are you talking about?”

“Next question.” His tone made it clear I’d get nowhere by asking again, so I moved on… for the moment.

“Okay, how were you able to walk through the trees like you did when you saved me from the coyotes? I’ve never seen anything like it. And don’t tell me you’ve been doing it since you were a toddler. I want a real answer.
How?”

He brushed his fingers over tiny cracks in the rock, delaying his answer, no doubt editing his response in his mind. “All of us can do it,” he said finally. “We start learning at a very young age to climb and maneuver through the trees. It’s a matter of practice and also, I think, a hereditary natural ability.”

He stopped and gave me a half-smile before continuing. “It’s an efficient way to travel, and it helps us to remain undetected. Most of us never go where we’ll encounter other people, but sometimes they come here where we live. It’s easy for us to hear you coming and conceal ourselves among the branches and leaves. Not that your kind would even think of looking up to find us.” His expression was a tiny bit superior.

“Are you really telling me there are young children climbing around up in those monster trees like you did? That’s unbelievable. I didn’t know people could do things like that outside of Cirque Du Soleil.”

“Well, they can’t. Your people anyway.”

Then something occurred to me. “So your people are not just reclusive, they’re really… different.”

I expected more hedging from him, but what I got was the most revealing thing he’d told me about himself yet.

“I think we could safely say we would be classified as another… race… one that has not been considered by your Census Bureau.”

He said the words slowly, studying me as he spoke. My heart darted around inside my chest, though I tried to project outward calm. I was finally getting somewhere, and it was miles away from where I’d expected to go.

I pushed my luck one more time. “What about the girls you dated?”

His eyebrows drew together in a slight frown. “I believe I’ve already earned my sweet tea now.”

“What are they like?” I persisted.

Lad exhaled. “Different.”

“From me?”

“From all females of your kind.”

“How?” I tried to imagine these amazing tree-walking girls who’d spent time with Lad but supposedly never wanted to kiss him, who were not at all like me.

“Well, they look somewhat different. They
are
tall and slender like you are. They’re strong, athletic.” He paused then reached over to stroke my hair as he continued. “But they all have very curly hair.”

“All of them? I hate them already.” I flipped my own stick straight hair in disgust.

“No—I love your hair. Before I met you when I was little, I’d never seen anyone like you. Afterward, I thought all girls should look like you.”

Oh my. Icing.
“What else?”

“Hmm… well, they’re intelligent, practical, very controlled.”

“You’re right. Nothing like me.”

I laughed at his unintentional insult, but Lad shook his head, frowning for real now. “I’m doing a poor job of explaining it. You’re not like them, but that’s what makes you so special. They’re all alike. Predictable.” He took my hands inside his, looked down at them, then back up at my face. His gaze pleaded with me. “But you… you’re warm and surprising. After I discovered you, the girls where I live held no interest for me. It’s been a source of tremendous frustration for my parents, but I can’t help it. It’s actually been driving me sort of crazy.”

Oh God… icing on the cake, icing… oh hang it all.
I was going to do it—take Emmy’s and Nox’s advice and take a chance. This time,
I
was going to kiss
him
.

I leaned toward Lad, lifting my face to him. He couldn’t have had any doubt about what I wanted. He responded immediately, leaning in to meet me. I deliberately kept my eyes open as he brought his face close to mine. His clear green eyes glowed with intense emotion. He was more beautiful than I’d thought a male could possibly look.

Still, when his warm lips touched mine, my eyelids shut anyway. Maybe trying to hold in all the wonderful feeling threatening to flood out of every pore in my body. There was sweetness again, like the drink he gave me, but even better combined with the unique flavor of
him
.

I opened my lips, hungry for the melting sugar taste of his mouth. He responded with a gasp and clenched his large hand around my upper arm, roughly pulling me even closer. The kiss went on and on, deepening and pulling me further into a dangerous unknown place that was exactly where I wanted to go.

I was vaguely aware of a self-protective instinct struggling to be heard. The one that had never allowed me to go beyond friendship or hand-holding and lukewarm kisses with anyone before. The one that had kept me at a distance from any boy who’d ever seemed capable of inspiring interest in anything more. I pushed it back down, shutting it temporarily away, while I plunged recklessly down this new path with Lad.

His arms came around me, nearly crushing in his intensity, and I pressed against him, trying even harder to erase every last breath of air between us. I truly don’t know where it would’ve ever stopped had he not abruptly ended the kiss and pulled away—just like the first time when he’d halted our kiss much too soon.

“Ryann, we have to stop.” Lad still gripped my shoulders firmly in his hands, his face and upper body turned away from me. He looked and sounded like someone in agony.

“What’s wrong? Why do we have to stop? We just started,” I whispered with a pout, sounding like the pitiful kiss-drunk fool I was. I’d decided to go for it, and now
he
was being cautious?

Lad’s breathing calmed little by little, until finally, he turned his face back to me. He spoke softly, seriously. “You’re right. We have started something. I shouldn’t have let that happen, but I couldn’t stop myself. I don’t know if I can stop where this is going now. I like it too much. I like
you
too much.”

He let out an anguished groan, pulling his hands away and clenching them into fists, burying his face in them. He stared at the ground and spoke into his knuckles. His voice was rough. “This is terrible. You’re everything I’ve wanted for so long, and now you’re here, and it’s as good—no, better than I always imagined. And I can’t have you. It’s killing me.”

I had no idea what he meant, but my mind raced, charged by his extraordinary words. He was so distraught. I stretched my hand out and brushed it through the soft curls on the back of his down-turned head.

At my touch, Lad went completely still, sucking in his breath through clenched teeth. His fingertips dug into his hard thighs as he sat rigid on the rock beside me. I slid my fingers through the golden locks, soothing and stroking his scalp and the tense muscles of his neck, feeling him gradually relax minute by minute. Eventually, he looked up at me.

“I’m sorry,” he said in a low voice.

“It’s all right. Why did you say you can’t have me? I’m right here. I want to be with you.” I continued with a bashful grin. “And, in case you didn’t notice, you were well on your way to having me.”

“That’s the problem. It’s too easy to get carried away with you. It feels so good, so right. I’ve wanted this more than you can imagine. But it’s not that easy. Even if you think you want me, too, we can’t simply have what we want.”

I practically climbed into his lap in my quest to get close, comfort him, and understand his distress. “Why not? Tell me. I’ll try to understand.”

He gently traced my cheekbone with one fingertip. “For my people, the choosing of a mate is a serious, and… lasting decision. We couple for life. If one mate is lost, the other remains alone and goes through a mourning process so severe… they’re never the same again.” His tone sent a chill through me.

“What do you mean?”

“The one who’s left behind transforms. The mark of mourning remains for the rest of their lives.”

I was bewildered by his ominous explanation, but I was also starting to get a sense of what was troubling Lad about me. “So… you’re afraid of making the wrong choice. That if you get involved with me, it’ll be a mistake you can never take back?”

“No.” He laughed softly. “Not exactly. It’s… complicated. Besides, it would certainly be a mistake—for you.”

I was hopelessly confused. What he was describing was impossible, wasn’t it? A permanent mark due to… a broken heart? And even more puzzling, Lad seemed to be declaring deep feelings for me, for
me
, as if that made perfect sense. Sure, why not?

Beautiful Adonis-like male, stunning green eyes, wavy golden hair, flawless teeth. Athletic, outdoors-type, well-read and velvet-voiced, seeks: Average-looking, dating-challenged girl for irrevocable lifetime commitment.

Again, I had to fight the suspicion I’d dreamed up the whole thing. I was struggling to comprehend how being with Lad, the most amazing person I’d ever met, could possibly be a mistake.

“Why don’t you let me decide what is and isn’t a mistake for me. Can’t we just spend time together and see where it goes?” I asked.

He shook his head, sadness filling his pretty green eyes. “Sweet Ryann. It’s not that simple. You don’t know.”

I balled my hands in frustration. “Because you won’t explain anything.”

“Yes. And it’s impossible for you to decide what’s right for yourself without knowing the truth. And yet, I’m not allowed to reveal it. So… I’ve made a decision for us both.”

I didn’t like where
this
was going.

Lad searched the ground and then the trees around us, talking to the woods instead of looking at me. “I’ve tried keeping my distance from you and failed. As long as we live so near to each other, I’m sure I’ll continue to be unsuccessful at staying away from you. So there’s only one solution.” He set his jaw, finally looking at me, and resumed his pronouncement. “We can see each other, but we can never kiss again, or do anything beyond the realm of friendship.”

Wonderful
. I was back to being the just-friends girl. Best Buds with the most appealing male on the planet. Not my idea of a great solution. However, I
had
thought Lad was going to say we could never see each other again at all. I decided to feign agreement while I regrouped and figured out how to deal with this.

“Okay.”

He seemed surprised at my lack of argument. “Okay?”

“Okay,” I repeated. “We’ll start over—no kissing. Just friends.” I kept my voice light, pleasant, determined to hide my dismay.

“All right… friends then.” Lad’s wary expression gave way to belief and then resignation. He nodded and stood, offering me a hand down from the big rock. He thought his powers of reason had persuaded me.

Now I had to come up with some way to show him how wrong he was.

When Mom got home from work that night, I was in the kitchen, brewing tea for my first delivery to The Skillet and stewing over the way my meeting with Lad had ended. Her bright chatter was a pleasant distraction. She told me all about her first day on the job, and I roped her into being my taste-tester.