Hidden Deep (34 page)

“Oh, I’m fine. A mite nervous I guess.”

I might have been imagining it, but she seemed younger and younger the closer we got to Altum. She walked faster, her posture was more erect, her expression more alert and alive than I’d ever seen it before. When we reached our destination, I regarded my grandmother with a new wonder and respect. She’d led us right to the foot of the impossibly huge, ancient magnolia tree without a single step in the wrong direction.

She stopped, clearly intending to go no further. “You know what to do from here, sweetheart.”

“Oh, no, you have to come with me. I can’t go down there alone, and you want one more look at it, don’t you? Isn’t that what you said?”

“I don’t think I should… but if you really need me…”

“I do.” I grabbed her hand, searching for the hidden entrance. We found it and slipped inside. I prepared myself to be rushed and tackled by a couple of giant Elven linebackers, but there was no one in the tunnel entrance. Grandma Neena and I proceeded in silence down the spiraling earthen walkway, holding hands like a couple of kindergarteners.

“What will you do when we get there, Ryann?” she whispered. I looked over and saw her eyes glistening with emotion and glowing eerily in the multi-colored light.

“I have no idea. I’m planning to wing it.”

We reached the end of the tunnel and stepped out into the grand common area. It looked so different from a few weeks earlier. Something big was going on. The cavern was crowded with Elves, coming and going in groups and couples.

Some wore the kind of light, naturally colored clothing I’d come to expect from Elves, but others wore completely different attire. A group in long deep blue robes walked together near the river. A family of three wore little more than patches of red fabric, strategically placed for modesty. A pack of younger guys even had on jeans and t-shirts—Dark Elves, maybe?

There was light and music and elaborate decoration. A multitude of small temporary huts dotted the floor of the place. It was like an exotic carnival. And then it hit me…

“The Assemblage,” Grandma Neena said it before I could get the words out. She stood perfectly still and stared at the scene around us.

Suddenly the view was blocked by wide chests, brutally hard midsections, and long arms, tensed with muscle, prepared to draw the knives at their sides. The linebackers had arrived. I looked up into one of the unfriendly, unfamiliar faces.

“Lad? Please?” I squeaked.

We were escorted, or rather, surrounded by guards as we made our way to Lad’s family quarters. My stomach rolled in cold waves, my chest was weighted. I was about to see him again.

They took us to the entrance of the grand hall where a guard opened the door and went in. Music and laughter drifted from the room through the open doorway. A glimpse of the interior revealed an elegant celebration.

Beautifully-dressed people danced in the center of the ballroom. Others sat at tables around the periphery of the dance floor. It was a party of some kind. No doubt Lad’s parents were entertaining the visiting dignitaries here for the Assemblage. This looked like a particularly formal event.

I glanced over at Grandma Neena’s face. She was as nervous as I was.

The door opened wide, and Lad burst out into the hallway, followed immediately by his father. Ivar stopped abruptly, his eyes widening in obvious shock at the sight of my grandmother. As concerned as I wanted to be about her reunion with her former fiancé, I could not pry my attention from Lad. He was glorious. Tears flooded my eyes instantly when he looked at me.

I blinked hard and prayed for strength, battling an irrational hope that he might still want me, that if I asked, he’d offer me a second chance. I’d gladly trade my newfound “success” and security for the opportunity to put my heart at risk for him. None of it was worthwhile without him. I had been so stupid to push him away.

My breath felt like it was trying to get into my lungs through one of those tiny coffee-stirring straws. Lad didn’t look like he was doing much better. The muscles in his neck and upper body were visibly tense. His gaze raked over me, and his chest rose and fell in a rapid rhythm, the color in his face unusually high.

His expression was neutral, but there was a spark of wildness in his eyes, something that slipped out from under his fiercely held control for a second before he mastered it. He must have been furious to see me there.

Even then, when he was possessed by hatred for me, I couldn’t stop myself from longing for him. He was just as perfect—no—more perfect than before. I’d never seen him in such fine clothing. Light-colored pants of some fine soft fabric extended all the way down to his bare feet. His form-fitting shirt was snowy white with an intricate pattern stitched around the open V neckline.

Clearly, he’d continued his habit of roaming the woods because his skin gleamed a light copper color that only intensified the gold of his hair and the impossible green of his eyes.

It was painful to look at him and know I’d never have him, never be close to him again.

“Ryann…” Lad surprised me by sounding as breathless as I felt. “Are you all right? Are you in trouble?” His posture was restrained, his hands staying clenched at his sides, but there was a surprising note of concern in his voice.

“No… I’m fine. I’m fine,” I lied.

“Then why have you come here?” he demanded. Now his voice took on the tone I’d expected, his face carved into the harsh mask from my worst dreams last night.

“I… there’s something I need to tell you. I hope I’m not interrupting anything too important.”

An ethereal figure drifted out of the doorway to Lad’s side. A girl about my age with shining platinum curls placed a hand softly on his shoulder and looked inquiringly up into his face. She was dressed in a flowing white gown. Pale, beautiful, delicate, she reminded me of an exquisite lunar moth.

Raw pain pulsed through my insides as I watched them together. Lad turned his attention to her, no doubt attempting to explain our presence. She smiled her adoration up at him then darted her wide blue eyes in my direction before slipping back inside. Lad looked back at me, expressionless.

“I don’t have much time. What do you want, Ryann?”

“I’m sorry. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important. I have some good news. Your people don’t have to leave Altum. I’m going to be getting some money—enough to pay the debt to the IRS. There won’t be any need for my mother to sell the timber now, and the woods will be safe.”

Lad’s tight jaw loosened, his mouth falling open slightly. For a moment he looked a bit dazed. Then he turned and stared into his father’s face intently for a few seconds, translating, I assumed. Both of them turned back to me.

Lad was still guarded, aloof, and… regal. Ivar must have been very proud. “That is… excellent news. My father extends his gratitude and congratulations to you and your family.”

“Yes, we’re very relieved. There’s something else, though. To earn the money, I’ve agreed to produce a whole lot of sweet tea on a daily basis. I can’t do it without a regular supply of saol water to sweeten it. It was your idea about using the saol water in my recipe that saved Altum… and my home, too.”

He gave me a stiff smile in response. “Well, some good has come of all of this then. Of course we will do our part. We can arrange some method of delivery that will be… comfortable for all of us.”

I assumed he was referring to the fact he never wanted to lay eyes on me again and would have to find another delivery boy for the essential special ingredient.

I glanced over at Grandma Neena and Lad’s father. They stared at each other without blinking. I’d never seen Ivar’s face look anything other than incensed, so it was shocking to see the tender expression he now wore. Their exchange was so intimate, I averted my eyes—realizing I’d intruded on something that was none of my business.

Lad noticed it, too, and did a double take before looking back at me. To fill the awkward silence, I blurted out, “Thank you. I know it’s not easy to say ‘yes’ to anything I have to ask of you.”

He stared at me with a look that contained some strong emotion I couldn’t identify. When he spoke, his tone was low and intense. “Saying ‘yes’ to you was always too easy for me. Don’t you know… there’s nothing I would not have done for you, Ryann?”

How could he say that to me after the things I’d said to him? My mind flooded with images of the two of us together—images I’d worked so hard to repress. Was he showing them to me? Why would he do that if he no longer cared?

My heart squeezed painfully, spurred by a tiny hope. We
had
done something good together that had helped both our families. We’d been happy. Was it possible we could make it work? I was miserable without him—safe, but miserable.

Ivar gripped Lad’s upper arm, a signal to return to the ballroom. The sweet, torturous images filling my brain were suddenly gone. Lad looked first at Grandma Neena then at me, giving us a slight bow, his tone crisp and polite. His gaze was cold again.

“I must go. Thank you again for bringing us this welcome news. Now we have one
more
reason to celebrate today.” He looked at me with glittering eyes. His hoarse voice was edged in bitterness. “Oh, that’s right, you could not have known, of course. It’s my wedding day. Wish me well?”

My intake of breath was audible. I should have responded of course, but I couldn’t.

“Good bye Ryann.” Lad whirled and jerked forcefully out of his father’s grasp, disappearing inside the doors.

I don’t know how much time passed as I stared at those closed doors. When I’d broken things off with Lad, I had thought I was living my worst nightmare. But this… he was really and truly lost to me forever. I’d allowed myself to love someone, and now he was going to spend his life with some other girl. And it was probably the best thing for him.

Grandma reached over and took my hand, and my tenuous control over my tear ducts started to fail. I would’ve loved to run for the exit tunnel, but we were still surrounded by the huge guards, and they weren’t budging. For some reason, Ivar had stayed. At first I assumed it was to say farewell to Grandma, but he stared right at me.

As I looked back at Lad’s father, my mind filled with the things I wished I could tell him. I tried one last time to communicate in the Elven way. I put all my will and my heart into my message to him—that I didn’t hate him or even fear him anymore—I didn’t care what he thought of me. I’d love his son forever whether he approved or not, whether I ever saw Lad again or not. Even if it always hurt, I couldn’t stop loving him, and I was no longer afraid of the pain. Most of all, I told Ivar how much I wished for Lad to be happy, even with some other girl, if that’s what was best for him.

I silently willed his father to take good care of Lad and make sure he had the fulfilled, good life he deserved.

There was no reaction from him at all. Ivar turned away and directed another long glance at my grandmother, and then he was gone. The guards still didn’t move.

“He wants us to wait,” Grandma whispered to me.

“Why?”

“I’m not sure. But what choice do we have? Are you okay, honey?”

“No. Not really. Are you?”

“Yes, actually. I feel better than I have in… oh, decades,” she answered with a shaky laugh.

“Did you… talk to him?”

“Yes, I guess I’ve still got it. It wasn’t quite what I imagined, seeing him again.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well he was
nicer
than I expected. He’s not angry with me anymore. I think that surprised him, too. He loves his family. He’s had a good life these past forty-two years.” Her eyes were warm as she mentally reviewed the conversation they’d shared. “I’m glad I got to see him. It really helps to know… well, that life went on for him. It will for you, too, Ryann. I promise.”

I wanted to agree, to make her feel good, but I couldn’t. I’d never get over this. Not in forty-four years or a hundred.

“Do you think Lad will be happy? With the marriage?” I asked weakly.

“I can’t say, but his father is convinced this wedding is the best thing for Lad and all his people. The bride is a member of one of our clan’s—well,
enemy
clans would be putting it too strongly—but her father is the leader of the tribe we’ve had the most trouble with over the centuries.”

“Dark Elves? I thought they were bad.”

“Depends on your perspective.
They
don’t think they’re bad. They think they’re keeping up with the times, and that the Light Elves are slowing down progress. This union will go a long way toward smoothing over our differences of opinion and creating a lasting peace between our peoples.”

“Great.” I was trying really hard to be on the side of peace and Elven unity but not having much luck.

After a few minutes, a servant appeared at the door and directed his gaze at Grandma Neena. He waited as she explained to me what was happening.

“My family is here. Ivar has decided I may stay and see them and remain for the rest of the Assemblage if I want to. You’re also invited to stay, Ryann. He knows now that you mean them no harm. Come with me, meet your family.”

She was obviously thrilled at the prospect of seeing her people again. I wanted her to, but there was no way I could stay. Not after what Lad had told me. What, would I try to catch the bouquet?

“Grandma, that’s wonderful. You stay. But I’m going, okay? I have to. I couldn’t bear to see…” I couldn’t finish the sentence. My throat was closing up.

“Oh sweetheart.” Grandma Neena hugged me close to her. “I’ll go with you. Come on, let’s go.” She started to pull me away from the doors. I stopped and held her in place.

“No, Grandma, you stay. Please. This is what you’ve wanted for so long. Your people are in there waiting for you. I know the way home now. I’d really rather be alone anyway.”

Grandma promised me she’d be home the next day and followed the servant into the celebration. I went with the guards through Altum, back toward the tunnel to the so-called real world. I didn’t even look up at the festivities as I walked, too absorbed in managing the crushing pain that threatened to drop me on the spot.