Highland Love Song (DeWinter's Song 2) (22 page)

She felt his anguish. He loved her, and she could not return his feelings. "I'm sorry, Ian."

"Sorry . . . sorry!"

"Yes, of course I am. You act as if I deliberately set out to hurt you, and you know that is not true."

"You should have taken your own life rather than allow your name to be linked with our enemy."

She could not believe the things he was saying to her. She thought of poor Gwendolyn, who had done just that. "It was not only my life I was worried about at the time. I also had concerns about Aunt Mary."

"Damn Aunt Mary. That meddling old woman has caused nothing but trouble."

Arrian was shocked and felt the need to defend their aunt. "Aunt Mary is—"

"Did you find Lord Warrick handsome, Arrian? Was he hard to resist? Do you think I hadn't heard how he attracts women to him? Did he attract you, Arrian?"

She backed away from him. "Why are you asking me these things?"

"Because I have the right to know." He grabbed her wrist and pulled her against him. "Did he stir within you the flames of desire that only I should have stirred?"

"Ian, let me go." She tried to pry his fingers loose from her wrist. "You're hurting me."

At that moment they heard someone coming down the path, and he released Arrian reluctantly. "Is there nowhere we can be alone? Every time I try to talk to you someone interferes."

Arrian was relieved to see Lady Helena walking toward them. She had met her only this morning and had found something sad and lonely about the woman. Arrian wondered if she still loved Warrick.

"Ian, Arrian, isn't it a lovely spring morning?" Helena pulled back when she saw the scowl on Ian's face. "I'm sorry. I suppose the two of you want to be alone."

"No. Wait," Arrian said, moving quickly toward Helena. "I'm coming with you." She glanced at Ian. "I'm sorry. We will talk about this later."

Arrian turned her attention to Jamie's wife. "I hear you have a son. I would like very much to see him."

Jamie's wife looked pleased. "He is a delight, and so like his father."

Arrian refused to look back at Ian, but she could feel his eyes burning into her. She couldn't blame him for being angry. He didn't deserve to be hurt, and she had hurt him dreadfully.

Lady Helena chattered on, and Arrian tried to follow her conversation. But her mind was far away at a castle by the sea. She wondered what Warrick was doing at this moment.

21

High scattered clouds occasionally blocked out the sun, and a brisk wind blew out of the south on the day Gille Maclvors was laid to rest in the family crypt. Hundreds of clan members, friends, and family gathered to pay their last respects.

The chief of Clan Maclvors had ruled with might rather than benevolence, but still he'd commanded great respect.

Arrian stood with her arm around her grieving mother while the pipes wailed a forlorn strain. It was the passing of an era and the finish of a man who, if he had not gained a name in history, had at least touched the lives of those who knew him.

While the minister painted a flowery tribute to her great-grandfather, Arrian looked at the people around her. Her mother and Aunt Mary were genuinely grieving. As new head of the clan, Ian stood in a place of honor, his head bowed, obviously saddened by Lord Gille's passing. Arrian saw a tear slide down Jamie Maclvor's face, and his wife Helena was sobbing loudly.

She felt her mother take a faltering step, and Arrian's hand tightened on her arm. "Have courage, Mother, and lean on me."

"Good-bye, Grandfather," Kassidy said. "This world will not see your like again."

Kassidy and Arrian turned back to the castle, while two clan members helped a distraught Lady Mary up the grassy pathway.

Ian stood alone, his thoughts not touching the crowd around him. He followed Arrian with his eyes. She had changed toward him. He now had everything he wanted, everything except her, and he would have her too— nothing would stop him.

There was a strained intensity in the formal dining room as the servants silently went about the task of serving dinner to the many guests who had remained after the service. Ian took his rightful place at the head of the table, placing Kassidy on his right and Arrian on his left.

As the new chief surveyed the faces of the fifty people at the table, he stood up, wineglass in hand.

"I ask you all to drink with me to acknowledge that the torch of power has been passed from my grandfather to me. There will be many changes in the old ways, for we are a new generation. I want you to know that I take up that torch with confidence in the future and with assurance that we can overcome our enemies. If any of you have troubles, you will come to me as chief of the clan and I shall endeavor to help you."

There was a raising of glasses from the guests, but there were also hostile glances from many of them. An uncomfortable silence passed as the ladies and gentlemen took a sip of their wine, their eyes fastened on their new chief.

Arrian swallowed the food without tasting it. There was something about Ian that was different and some- how disconcerting, yet she could not have said what it was that disturbed her. It was as if she saw him for the first time. He seemed somehow like a little man sitting in a big man's chair.

Kassidy watched her daughter's face and read much of her thoughts. Ian was feeling his power and expressing that power with pompous arrogance. Accustomed to her father's quiet strength, Arrian was not stirred by Ian's swaggering show of importance.

Aunt Mary had difficulty rising because of her leg, but she managed to stand, drawing everyone's attention. "I, too, wish to give a tribute—not to my nephew, who is so newly become chief, and who has not yet proved himself worthy—but to my father, who proved his worth many times," she said, her eyes blazing. "Ladies, gentlemen, I give you a salute to Gille Maclvors. He was a man who stood taller than most. His enemies feared him, and his family cherished him. He will be missed."

With an uproarious shout, the family members rose to their feet and drank to her toast. Lady Mary took a sip of her wine and placed the glass on the table. "Now if you will all excuse me, it has been a tiring day."

The company gathered at the table watched in shock as Lady Mary left the room, for what she had done amounted to a slap in Ian's face.

Kassidy laid her napkin aside and stood up. "You will excuse me also, Ian. I must see to Aunt Mary. This has all been very difficult for her."

Anger smoldered in Ian's eyes. He had thought to use this large gathering of clan members to his advantage and firmly establish himself as chief. Now others were leaving. Too late he realized he had blundered by pressing his claim too soon.

As the moments passed, there were only Jamie and Helena and Arrian left at the table with him.

"Well, it would seem we are to have our dessert alone," Ian said, trying to hide his fury.

"You shouldn't have done it, Ian," Jamie said in a rare show of defiance against his brother. "The family and friends were here to pay their last respects to Grandfather. This was not the time for you to establish your claim as head of the family."

Arrian's heart went out to Lady Helena, whose face was puffy and red from crying. The woman was obviously not happy. Could she possibly still be grieving over Warrick?

Ian came to his feet. "At least you didn't desert me, Arrian. Come with me to the library. There is much we have to discuss."

"I would prefer we have our conversation another time, Ian. We only buried Grandfather today, and I need time to grieve for him alone."

"Ah, rebuked by my bride-to-be. Perhaps you will be the one to refine my rough manners and save me from being too impetuous as I was today."

Before Arrian could reply, his hand fastened on her wrist, and he led her from the room. She said nothing until they were in the library, and then she turned on him furiously.

"I am not accustomed to being handled in that manner, Ian. When I said I didn't want to talk to you tonight, I meant it!"

His jaw clamped shut tightly. "Perhaps if I had been the handsome chief of the Drummonds, you would have come readily enough with me."

She stared at him, thinking she must have misunderstood his words. "I can assure you this has nothing to do with Warrick."

He spun around. "So, you call him by his Christian name. Did that man force you to his bed, or did you go willingly?"

"How dare you!"

"I knew he would have you—he had to, because it was his twisted way of hitting at me. He did wound me this time, Arrian."

"Ian, I'm sorry if I hurt you. I don't know what to say except to ask you to forgive me."

He caught her arms and pulled her close to him. "I doubt a man has ever loved a woman as I love you. No man has waited as long or as patiently as I've waited for you. I will not let you go, Arrian."

She pushed against him. "I am not property, Ian, nor am I one of your clan that you can tell me what to do."

He saw resentment in her eyes and quickly released her. This was not the way he wanted it to be between them. "Now I must ask pardon, Arrian. I allowed my adoration for you to make me speak rashly. Can you not be a little charitable toward me, for I have suffered greatly?"

"I know you have," she said kindly. "Let's not think about it, Ian. We are all under a strain because of our grief for Grandfather."

"Yes, his death has left us without direction. That's why I'm trying to establish my leadership. The clansmen need to know that I'm capable of standing in his place."

She felt pity for him. He had a great deal of responsibility on his shoulders, for which their Grandfather probably hadn't prepared him. "It will come to you in time, Ian. After the clansmen have grieved for Grandfather, they will be ready to listen to you."

"With you beside me, I could rule the world, Arrian. I know the Maclvors clan has been drifting apart, and I want to bring it together in a reunion of spirit and purpose."

She saw his dream through his eyes and felt sorry that he would never see it fulfilled. "Many of your people have moved away, Ian. Aunt Mary told me that Maclvors have settled in different parts of Scotland and some have even gone as far away as America seeking a new life. She says there is nothing for them here. The land will no longer support them as it did in the past."

"Aunt Mary is not all-knowing. I will live to see the day when we Mclvors will crush our enemies and break the shackles of England! The day will come when we shall again rise to power."

She realized he was not speaking rationally. "You must not say that, Ian. Surely you know that's impossible."

His eyes flamed with passion. "Does not the Scottish blood in you cry out to be free of English domination?"

"I am English, Ian. You must try to remember that when you speak of crushing my country."

Ian tried another approach. "Don't you want to bring Warrick Glencarin down from his lofty perch, to slam him to his knees and make him beg for mercy?"

"No. I only want to see an end to the conflict, Ian. Unlike Clan Maclvors, Clan Drummond is still intact and they greatly outnumber you. Ian, you could not win a war against them, for they are loyal to their chief. If you continue, you'll surely bring King William's wrath down on your head—then you'll lose everything."

He didn't seem to hear her words, or he chose to ignore them. "Will you see the sham of a marriage between you and Lord Warrick set aside?"

"Yes, at the proper time."

He moved away from her and stood looking out the window. "Your pain is too new. I will give you time to regain your footing, Arrian. Then we shall talk more of this."

She moved to the door. "Good night, Ian."

He neither turned around nor acknowledged her departure.

Instead of going to her room, Arrian walked out into the garden, needing a breath of fresh air after her confrontation with Ian. Davinsham was a grand castle. Her grandfather had made money in many endeavors. He, like Warrick, had put money in sheep and cattle. But unlike Warrick, he had dispersed most of his tenants to turn the farms into grazing land.

As she moved down a dark path, Arrian thought of Ironworth Castle, which was not so grand as Davinsham. But the master of Ironworth stood like a sentinel to his people who dwelled in that beautiful and peaceful domain by the sea.

Through the branches of a tall pine tree she could see the twinkling stars. Was Warrick standing beneath the same sky looking at the same stars and thinking of her? she wondered. Did he miss her?

Arrian closed her eyes, picturing Warrick riding Titus across heather-covered hills. She could see him standing with the wind in his dark hair, gazing out to sea.

She felt a deep yearning much like a physical pain. She was not sorry she had met Warrick, for without him she would never have known love. She was only sorry that life had cast them on opposite sides in this blood feud.

Her mind was clear and she knew what she wanted to do. With a heavy heart, she returned to the castle and climbed the stairs. She wanted to go home to England. There was nothing for her in Scotland.

Haddy set a plate of steaming salmon before Lord Warrick, but he pushed it aside and reached for the brandy bottle. "You shouldna' be drinking without eating a bite, m'lord."

"Don't bedevil me, Haddy. I'm a man grown and don't need a nursemaid to suckle me."

"I know what a man needs when he growls at those that would help him."

He glared at her. "Since when did you become an expert on what a man needs?"

She smiled at him, undaunted by his petulance. "Oh, I've had me time. Barra didn't just happen, you know. And don't be forgetting she has four brothers. I had me a good man 'til I lost him to the sea."

Warrick poured a glass of brandy and took a deep drink. "What I need, Haddy, is not to feel anything. I want to drink myself into numbness so I won't dream."

The housekeeper's eyes saddened. "She'll no' be coming back to you, m'lord. She's not for you. You knew that from the start."

"Are you certain, Haddy?" He drained the glass and refilled it. "I'm not so sure."

"When first I knew who the lady was, I had no liking for her. But I soon saw her sweetness and liked her well enough. If the truth be told, m'lord, she's too good for you or Ian Maclvors."

His eyes clouded as he refilled his glass and drank once more. "She made me see that my life was a wilderness, and I was a man without direction. I now know that hate can eat away at a man and make him unworthy to be with others. As you observed, Haddy, I'm not worthy of Lady Arrian."

Haddy motioned for her daughter to come forward. Between the two women they managed to help Warrick stand. He was a big man, and it took all their strength to hold him upright. Slowly they moved him out of the dining room, with Haddy mumbling, "Where's Mactavish when you need him?"

"Where are you taking me?" Warrick protested, as he allowed them to lead him toward the stairs.

Haddy told him in the same scolding voice she'd often used on him when he had been a mischievous lad, "You're not used to drinking, m'lord, and ye're a bit in your cups. We're putting you ta bed, and that's the end of it."

Warrick pushed them away and staggered back to the dining room, picking up his bottle. His steps were uneven as he climbed the stairs, warding off Haddy's efforts to help. "I can make it on my own. Don't coddle me.

Mother and daughter exchanged sad glances.

"He'll no' recover from this, Ma. This time the Maclvors tore the heart right out o' him."