Authors: Emma J Wallace
"But he's there for job interviews."
"They'll reschedule."
"What am I supposed to do?" Diana muttered,
feeling extraneous to the whole thing.
"Why don't you go back and sit with Mary. Tell her I'll
be there as soon as Mrs. Hampton arrives."
Diana looked doubtful.
"Or hold onto Lark," he offered.
"She wants her father," Diana snapped. She turned
on her heel and went back to find Mary pacing in the labor room, leaning
heavily on the nurse's arm. The nurse yield gratefully to Diana and excused
herself for a moment.
"We haven't decided what to name this guy yet,"
Mary said. "Well, I have, but Carl and I are still arguing."
"I guess if the baby is born before he arrives, you get
to pick," Diana murmured.
"Carl’s coming?"
"Zack called him. All the troops are coming."
"I knew Zack would do it. I was so worried about Carl
driving fast in that old truck. But Sam will drive and we don’t need to worry
about his car."
"I suppose not," Diana said. Mary stopped then and
waited until Diana looked at her in question.
"What's wrong? You seem pretty angry about something. Is
it me?"
"No, I'm not mad at you. Don't be silly. The baby comes
when he's ready."
"So you're mad at Zack? Because I asked him to ride in
the ambulance?"
"No." Diana looked away from the quirked eyebrow
Mary offered her. "Okay, yes, I'm mad at him. Everybody seems... I
mean."
"Look, he's a reliable kind of guy. He does what he says.
He gets things done." Mary started walking again, then abruptly stopped
for a contraction before going on. "Besides, we hadn't made any
arrangements for the hospital yet and he just told them he would guarantee the
payment and charmed the intake clerk like charming birds from the trees." She
smiled faintly. "I don't even know what else he said. I just knew there
wouldn't be any delay with Zack. He gets what he wants. Even you, right?" Mary
gave her a sly sideways glance.
"Me?" Diana said. "Don't be silly."
"You haven't said yes yet?"
"No," she said primly.
"You're not still stuck on the Robin thing are
you?"
"Not exactly."
"Then why wouldn't you marry Zack?"
"Marry Zack?"
"He wants to marry you, you know."
"How do you know?"
"He talked to Carl about it. Wanted to be sure Carl
approved."
"Carl didn't talk to me about marriage."
"Of course not. He figured Zack could handle it."
"I don't like being handled."
"Of course."
"Besides, I don't know if I want to leave
Whitney."
"Why not? I'd leave this place in a flat minute. Soon
as this baby is born."
"You don't like Whitney?"
"I love Whitney, but we have to make a life and there's
no life here for us. We'll visit my parents, and you if you're here, but,"
Mary shrugged. "Why not move to Chicago and live with Zack?"
"Because-- " Diana stopped, waiting while Mary had
another contraction, glad for the distraction.
Because I'm afraid
, she
thought.
Because I don't like feeling I'm not in charge.
Mary started moving again. "Look, I know you're afraid,
but that's normal," she said matter-of-factly as if she’d heard Diana’s
thoughts. "Don't miss out on Zack just because of fear," she said. "If
I let fear rule me I'd never have sex because I might get pregnant."
"You're afraid?"
"Terrified. Except, for some reason, when Zack is
here." Mary stopped at the look on Diana's face. "Diana, I'm sorry,
it's a man-woman thing, I think. I'd prefer Carl to be here but he's not here
yet. So I need Zack. It's primitive. Why fight it?"
"What are you fighting?" Zack said as he came in
the room.
"My need for you," Mary said lightly.
"You need me?" he said in obvious mock surprise.
"You'll do until Carl gets here."
"I see," he said, taking his place on her other
side. "You still up for this walking stuff? Don't you want to lie down and
enjoy some drugs?"
"Nah," Mary said. "Let's get this baby
born."
"Carl should be here in two to three hours, based on
how my Dad drives."
"I don't know if we have that long," Mary said
quietly.
"Okay, then," he said. "But you have to name
the baby after me. Well, my middle name," he said.
Diana opened her mouth to protest but Mary spoke up.
"What's your middle name?"
"Alan. A L A N," he said. "Zacharius Alan
White. Quite a mouthful, eh?"
"Alan is a nice name," Mary said thoughtfully.
"Or you could name her Alana if she's a girl."
"Pretty sure this one is a boy," Mary said.
"I thought you didn't know."
"I lied."
"I see."
Diana was feeling extraneous again and considered going out
to the waiting room to check on Lark but Zack spoke up.
"Where are you going?"
"To check on Lark."
"Lark's fine. Don't you dare leave me,
sweetheart," he said lightly. "You've been through this before."
Diana turned back and stared at him for a moment, transfixed
by the expression on his face, the mixture of longing and excitement she saw.
"Hey you two, save that for later," Mary said. "You've
got a woman in labor here."
Not for long, however. A couple of hours passed quickly,
with a break for Zack or Diana from time to time to check on Mrs. Hampton and
Lark. Mary was laboring hard and fast, gripping onto both of them when she had
contractions, telling stories and teasing when she had brief periods of rest. She
had moved to the delivery room when Carl burst into the place looking
breathless and huge, bringing cold air and excitement into the room. Mary swore
violently at him and insisted he could not have either Zack's or Diana's place
but needed a spot of his own, right down there next to the doctor to watch his
son being born.
So that he would be more careful next time, because she
wasn't going to do this again.
Zack winked at Carl. Diana smiled and nearly retreated
despite Mary's demands. She couldn't do this. She wasn't ready. She was afraid.
Mary would die and then she would be dealing with these two men and their
children. And when would she ever have her own child? She found herself staring
at Zack across Mary, the two of them astonished at the intensity in the room,
the small crowd coaching Mary, the sudden appearance of another person,
relatively small but apparently healthy, and the upsurge of emotion when the
doctor handed Carl his son.
Zack and Diana retreated then, heading slowly first for the
dark end of the room to remove their gowns, then for the door, leaving the
doctor and nurses to do what they needed to do to make the new parents and
their son healthy.
"Hey, Zack," Mary called. "How about Carl
Alan Stonehouse?" He turned around and smiled at Mary and nodded but
couldn't speak. Diana saw the tears in his eyes, the careful swallow, the
emotion he was trying to control. She took his hand as they pushed through the
swinging doors into the hallway.
Outside the door in the empty hallway, he folded her in his
arms, gathering her up to him, pressing his face into her hair. He didn't say
anything but she felt the tremors in him, the emotion he was trying to master. Diana
didn't know what she felt. She wished, suddenly, that they had worked
everything out between them, that it was all understood, decided, explained. Right
now, she wanted simply to go home with him, to settle into their own space, to
play with Lark and calm down from all this intensity, all the emotion, all the
excitement, all the fear.
Because, she could admit now, she had been afraid, afraid
Mary wouldn't make it, afraid she was going to lose Mary too. It was an
irrational fear. She had lost Robin after the delivery, after they went home,
but until now, Diana hadn't realized how much she had blended the events
together in her mind: the birth of Lark and the loss of Robin. Then, months
later, Zack showed up.
Would it ever be simple with him? Could she ever just yield
completely? Surrender? Have a life with Zack untainted by its complications? But
for now, she could have this, she could hold onto this man, rest in the circle
of his arms, feel his strength and his vulnerability. He did feel good, a
sensual treat, with softly worn clothing, the scents of soap and shampoo and a
muskier trace of clean male sweat. She could feel his breathing, the slightly
ragged pull of breath as he tried to master tears and other emotions.
Standing there, she became aware of the feel of her breasts
against his chest, of the strong curve of the muscles in his back, the tender,
slow movement of his hands on her shoulders, and then, without warning, she
knew he was becoming aroused, knew that he was surely and steadily focusing on
her, caught up in an awareness of her, past his other emotions and here,
present, with her.
The doctor and nurses were talking and, with a solid thump,
came through the delivery room doors. Zack moved back just a couple of inches,
moved his hands away. She let go of him, leaned back against the wall.
"You two are a good team," the doctor said, coming
forward to shake Zack's hand. "You holding up okay?" He was a young
doctor, with tight curly blond hair, a little roughhewn but still attractive. The
nurses had teased him a little when he first arrived.
"I've never done that before," Zack said, sounding
a little shaky.
The doctor looked puzzled. "Thought the nurse said your
daughter was here," he said.
"I missed her birth," he said. "But I won't
miss my next child's birth."
The doctor smiled at Diana. She returned his gaze but felt
suddenly like a fraud. He nodded at them and started to move down the corridor.
Diana watched him, wanting to call him back and explain.
She turned back to say something to Zack but when she saw
his face, whatever she had been going to say escaped her. He was watching her
with a steady, dark gaze that made her feel liquid down to her toes.
"You don't know," Zack said slowly, "how much
I'd love to take you home and make a baby," he said. "Marry me,
Diana," he said slowly. "Marry me and let's have babies of our
own."
She opened her mouth, ready to protest that he was swept up
on the emotion of the moment, as she was, but before she could speak, he kissed
her, pressing his mouth on hers. Stroking his hands along her upper arms, he
stepped a little closer, pressing her gently closer to the wall. His passion
communicated to her, changed her fear and worry to something more manageable,
something that faded in the face of this sweep of emotion.
When he pulled back, he looked at her again, studying her
face for his answer. "Marry me," he said. "Marry me Diana, don't
say no, I can't bear it. We'll work it out. Marry me."
She couldn't trust herself to speak, afraid she would spit
out her litany of objections, so she just nodded yes and watched his face
change, saw the triumph in it, felt his excitement become hers.
He took her face in his hands and kissed her again, fast and
hard, then took her hand and led her down the corridor.
Sunlight streamed into the waiting room. Sam and Beth White
and Mrs. Hampton were sitting in a row of chairs. Mrs. Hampton had Lark on her
lap, facing Beth, who was smiling at the baby, playing patty cake. Sam was holding
a cell phone to his ear and talking quietly into it.
The three adults looked up as Zack and Diana crossed the
room, Zack leading a little, holding Diana's hand and bringing her forward.
"Well, Zack, what's the story?" Mrs. Hampton said.
"Mary has a son. Carl Alan. He's fine, a little small,
but healthy. They're hanging out a little bit. I think Carl won't leave until
they kick him out. If they kick him out, I don't know how that works."
"How are you two?" Beth asked. Diana squeezed his
hand in warning. She didn't want to tell them here, now.
"We're fine. Tired, now that the excitement is over. Do
you three want to come to the house and get some breakfast? Then I think Diana
and I need a little sleep."
They hashed it over, quickly, sorting out who would ride
where and who would drive and whether they would go to Nellie's for breakfast
or not. When they got back to the house, Beth volunteered that Sam was going to
drive back to Chicago but she was going to stay, if it was all right with them,
and she would keep an eye on Lark while they slept. She could ride back to
Chicago with Zack, was that all right too?
Mrs. Hampton was getting a ride back to her house with Sam
White. She kissed everyone quickly and gave the women each a hug, then ambled
out to the car.
Beth took Lark into the kitchen.
Zack led Diana upstairs and hesitated at the door to her
room. She stared at the chaos she had left. Her bedside light was on, her
nightgown was puddled on the floor, and various other items of clothing were
scattered on the chair and the bed and the floor. The sun came into the room in
full force. For a moment, Diana wondered if she could sleep with so much light
in the room and suddenly, remembered she was supposed to go to work.
Zack touched her shoulder and she turned to face him.
"Should I sleep in here with you or in another
room?" he asked. He went on before she could protest. "Just sleep. I'm
not going to seduce you for the first time with my mother downstairs. We'll do
it right, don't worry. But I'd love to just lay down on the bed with you, cover
up and hold you."
The idea was irresistible, perhaps because she was too tired
to fight him. Diana made her call to work while Zack straightened up the bed
and pulled back the top quilt so they could sleep between them. He took off his
shoes and his belt and climbed in, lying on his side, waiting for her. When she
got into bed, he pulled her close, laying an arm across her body.