His Own Where (4 page)

Instead, Buddy slide into the darkness, thinking and feeling about Angela, and find himself walking to his father house. Buddy takes the sidewalk broom from inside and come out to the cold night, sweeping the stoop, the stairs, the yard, the sidewalk. Sweeping under the night. Ragged and shrill in the ragged shrubbery three or four male cats howl close to the female magnet listening calm.

Buddy consider bothering the cats but change his mind.

Back into the house, the workshop of his father and his life wanders heavily and tall inside the easy space.

Saying her name, Angela. Pretending she is here to dance with him here where nothing but himself will move.

 

The phonograph lies low along one wall on a board shelf where the parts in factory packages remind him of the work to do the wires to organize attach. Work interrupted by the accident that snatch his father. Buddy start to fool with parts and try to concentrate on diagrams of wiring and speaker placement. But he be thinking Angela.

In the kitchen, absentminded opening a can of soup, stirring with a wooden spoon. Into the basement opening with a screwdriver a can of black lacquer paint, stirring with a wooden spatula. Back upstairs to relocate the (parts of the) phonograph packages. Buddy abandon the phonograph project. Next he remove a long piece of lumber from its wall hinge supports. Clean it, start to paint it.

Lacquer shining smoothly. Black black like a glisten polishing the lumber plank he handle easily. The black the lacquer black glistening lumber invitation to his touch and finger press he better not. Too soon to touch still wet. Too soon to touch like Angela. Too soon to really touch her.

when angela father come home drunk
that night the phone ring and he hear his wife telling him that Angela defy disgrace them in the hospital calling her a loudmouth woman.

Angela father smile at this but still his wife continue: “She left here with a boy. Were you there when they came home?”

“What boy?”

Angela mother explain how Angela run out on her because she wouldn’t hardly leave the bedside of her patient. She describe how the boy, Buddy, follow after her, Angela, and how the boy, whose father be dying in the hospital bed, how the boy never come back to the bedside of his father, that night. Is he, the boy, in that house with Angela? What did the devil daughter do with the boy? That devil daughter can’t be trust no way. She making it impossible for decent people try to earn a living to go out with easy mind and earn they bread.

Angela father say he will take care of it, find out what is going on behind they back. Hang up the phone. A spare, goodlooking man. Slip into
the room where Angela in bed, turn a flashlight on her face.

“Angela, get up,” he shout at her.

“Angela!”

Rubbing her eyes from sleep she see him stepping on the clothes she have iron and stack by her bed.

“Move, Daddy—”

That’s as much as she can say. His fist come down her face, her cheek. She scream aloud. His knuckle slap her head around, and pound her punching through to ribs. Angela struggle her hand under the pillow where to protect herself she hide a kitchen knife not to be beaten like she is. Seize the handle, ship the knife into his view and tell him “Leave me alone.”

“You little prostitute.”

He kick the cot over and she fall to the floor face down and lose the knife. He leap beside her beating her across the back.

“You get out of this house, get out of this house, get out.”

 

Angela pass out. Her father pause, then drop his arm and leave the room. After a while Angela come to. Her mouth taste ugly. She wince to move. She listen if she hear him near, awake. Hear nothing. Tears come from the pain of putting her coat around her. She struggle down into the street. It be almost morning. Angela staggering,
bolt and collapse along the street toward Buddy house. Some men in a old Cadillac try to pick her up (thinking she drunk) until one of them come close enough to see her swollen face and bloody.

 

Angela use all her strength to ring the bell. Buddy look through the dining-room window where his mother watch the tree rip from the concrete and he see his girl fallen down small against the first floor window bars.

Angela. He bring hers inside into the house the home of his life where he imagine her, but never, not this way, so fallen small she only seem a small girl. Buddy try to see how bad it is. He feel like vomiting. The loneliness is gone but in place of loneliness, this stranger Angela, so small.

Look at her, afraid. Wrap her warm and carry her to his father car. Drive to the hospital.

The attendant in the Emergency Room act very suspicious. “You beat up your girlfriend. Then you want us to patch her up for you, so you can beat her up some more.”

He look at Angela.

“She just a baby. You should be ashame.”

He look at Buddy.

“You just a kid yourself. What’s her name?”

“Angela.”

Man call the police.

Angela unconscious so she can’t answer any of the questions that you have to if you want the
hospital to treat you. Police come and question him, Buddy, and he tell them the street, house, and apartment of her parents. The police tell him stay there until they return.

 

Buddy leaning on the rear wall of the Emergency Room. His body tight, fearing for Angela un-tended as the time continues to count by. Aides have taken her away from the waiting-room area, put her on a rolling steel-strong stretcher, cover lightly by a single sheet. Buddy leaning tired and horrify at the back of the gigantic room. Rows of churchly hardback wooden pews. Fat women slow tears from they eyes, they waiting. Old men, floppy trousers, scar-tissue skin, they waiting. Younger men, often mumbling to they self, they waiting too.

Buddy leaning on the wall be thinking that the whole city of his people like a all-night emergency room. People mostly suffering, uncomfortable, and waiting.

 

Police reach the building where Angela live. Find the apartment Buddy describe to them and knock on the door. Does he, Mr. Figueroa, have a daughter name of Angela?

“Yes.”

“She home?”

“No.”

“Where is she?”

Angela father say he don’t know. “She sneak out, din’t leave no note.”

“Has your daughter done this before?”

“No.”

“Anything unusual happen tonight?”

“I tell her show some more respect.”

“Where’s your wife?”

“Sleeping.”

“Don’t you want to know what has happened to your daughter, why we’re here?”

“No. Maybe one of her boyfriends beat her.”

 

The police demand to talk to Angela mother. They take her back with them to the hospital. Before they leave, Angela mother put on her uniform.

At the hospital, Angela mother approach the stretcher, like a professional.

“Yes, that’s Angela.”

“Do you know what happened to her?”

“No. Maybe one of her boyfriends beat her.”

“She have a boyfriend name Buddy?”

Mrs. Figueroa start to accuse Buddy, but she think of Buddy father, change her mind.

“Mrs. Figueroa, we need you to answer some questions and give permission for the hospital to treat your daughter. She’s in serious condition. Will you do that?”

Angela mother shrug her agreement and go into the Administration Office with the police.

The desk attendant keep his eye on Buddy leaning like stone at the back of the Emergency Room. Buddy almost frozen there and barely blink his eyes. The attendant feel sorry for him, and after making some inquiries, he go back and tell Buddy the word:

“Your girlfriend’s in shock. They take her to the X-ray. Check out if she have a fracture. She lose a lot of blood, you know.”

The attendant keep halting. Expect Buddy to say something. Buddy say nothing, just look away.

“That must have been some terrible beating. You listening to me? Boy, what’s the matter?”

Buddy roll his eyes toward the man face, slowly, see a kindly looking guy, brown skin with a clip mustache.

Buddy tell him, “Well, you betta watch your language.”

The kindly guy feel better because Buddy have answer him at last.

“Hey, man, why don’t you take a load off the floor? Sit down someplace. You not helping nobody standing up there. It’s gone be a while.”

“Okay.”

Buddy move toward a open space, take a seat. Everywhere around him people into pain. Or asthma. Or just plain cold. They using the long wait as a kind of rescue from the street. Buddy
thinking and feeling about Angela. Buddy thinking and feeling about his father. The life of the only two people, his father and his girl, inside this hospital.

Buddy jump a little bit. Is he praying?

Buddy don’t believe in God, but he catch himself inside his head like he be praying Angela, my father, Angela, my father. Help me. Somebody. Help.

 

Both the two lives may be dying now, and nothing he can do. Buddy look around him, feel ridiculous, deserted, lonely, sitting there. Consider how much money do he have. Dollar seventy-five. And all at once his pockets swell with cash.

Him, Buddy, up and down the aisle of the Emergency Room.

Ask the lady “want some coffee?” Ask the man “you want a taste?” Pass out chewing gum and Hershey bars and Bali Hai and hot chocolate and hot coffee, lotsa cream. Got the sugar in his hand. Drop the sugar, one lump, two. Pass out pillows, airplane blankets. Taking towels to the men’s room, roll up carts of toilet paper, two-ply tissue, soft, oval sweetly scented soap. Strap himself to a outside window belt and wash the windows. Jump down afterward and rush and grab a broom and sweep and mop, then wring the mop. Bop into his father room. Close the curtains, lower the bed,
take a shower, shake his head. Rush out find a florist, buy some flowers, tulips look to him like Angela.

For his father buy some seeds, and haul some open land into the hospital.

 

Buddy sitting still where he has sat.

they call it child abuse.
They mean when Angela get beat so bad the hospital have to treat her.

But why Angela parents have to work so hard and long and why they have to live so crowded up they saying nothing. Point no finger. Take no action. Still the consequences standing pretty terrible and clear. The beating Angela have suffer come through pretty terrible and clear. The Family Court hold Angela in custody. Send Angela to what the Court call “shelter,” in Manhattan.

Angela brothers and sister be parcel out among the relatives until police will finish the investigation. When Angela seem well to leave the hospital a large policewoman bring her to the “shelter” in Manhattan. The shelter cross up between a penitentiary and school. Look like a regular old school look like a prison. Shelter girls forbidden to see boys. Buddy measuring the place from outside only. Out across the street from where his Angela be force to stay among too many girls women girls, no men. No boys. Only lonely miserable girls kept lonely.

Buddy starving for the sight of Angela.

The sound of her.

Dictionary tell him shelter keep you safe from danger. He be worrying about old people when they think that love be dangerous.