Hitting the Right Notes (13 page)

Even before the album was finished and before Darya and Eric were ready to let the chaos of music world enter their lives, the media and paparazzi in particular had gotten on their tails. The first small news started teasing the fans from the pages of tabloids.

“Is DaYa returning to the big stage?”

“Who is DaYa secretly dating?”

“Does the rock diva still sound the same after so many years?”

Secretly taken photos, tension all around their names… Some reviewers predicted huge success for her; others had already doomed the album without even listening to it. All of the buzz felt so fake and exaggerated, that it made Darya think whether anyone was interested in the music itself at all. She still hoped that fans would be more interested in the songs than the rumors about Jay or Eric or even Ed dating her secretly.

The situation got totally out of control before the small club concert that Anthony had scheduled for her to provoke some interest towards the album before its release. For the whole week before the concert Darya and Eric had to use all the possible tricks to exit the house unnoticed. Some journalists had even followed Eric to the supermarket and cornered him with questions about their relationship and possibility of Darya getting back with Jay.

Eric didn’t complain much, but Darya could feel the anxiety grow inside him and that troubled her more than anything else. He was used to his quiet calm life and this endless chaotic pursuit was not doing any good to his fragile nervous system. Taking care of Eric made her feel much stronger herself. She was almost not worried about the concert.

Almost.

*

“This is just a small gig in a small local club. Nothing major. Nothing scary.” Darya kept on repeating to herself as she watched the club fill with people. She would love to have Eric backstage holding her hand, but he – as her most devoted fan – had already occupied his place in the first row in front of the stage.

“This is just a small gig in a small local club. Nothing major. Nothing scary.”

“This is just a small gig in a small local club. Nothing major. Nothing scary.”

“This is just a small gig in a small local club. Nothing major. Nothing scary.”

At least I’ll be looking into his eyes when I sing.

The crew was making the final check of the equipment and the musicians were already having fun in the dressing room. Darya thought she might need a beer or two herself. She never drank before the gigs, but a small exception could not do any harm.

Ed whistled playfully as he saw her empty the second bottle while restlessly circling around the dressing room and reminding herself that it was a small local gig, nothing special.

“I hope you are not planning to circle that much on the stage, D. You’ll make the fans dizzy,” he flashed his white teeth as he giggled on his own joke. It was good that all of them were having fun, but Darya was not calmed by that just yet.

One of the crew guys knocked at the door. It was time to go.

The band members entered the stage one after the other. Ed started with an aggressive drum solo – the idea was to warm up the audience quickly and prepare them to the
“hurricane,”
as they were calling the new album. Darya didn’t have a title in her mind yet, but the guys were joking that after so many years of silence that was the only word to describe what was coming out of her as she sang and screamed.

As the drum solo came to its end, Darya could feel panic fill her throat. Her voice chords felt heavy in her throat. Would she be able to stand in the glow of the stage lights and make any sound at all – let alone sing?

She didn’t have much time to think, as the drum solo ended and heavy bass riffs announced the beginning of the first song. She took a deep break not realizing that her legs already carried her body on the stage. And she sang.

Loud.

Free.

Confident.

Darya sang as she never had before.

She sang half of the first song with her eyes closed, imagining herself back in the safety of the studio.
Stop hiding!
Darya urged herself in her mind.
You have not overcome the long rocky road back to stage to close your eyes and hide again from yourself. Open your eyes!
And she did. Slowly she let her eyelids open up to the blinding lights and warming shine of hundreds sparkling eyes that were directed towards her. There was love and admiration glittering in each of them. Hundreds of hands were extended towards the stage. Many were trying to sing with her. Though the songs were new and the fans did not know the lyrics, she knew they could feel every emotion concealed behind the words she sang, and they hummed to the melody sharing those emotions with her. If Darya could help it, she would never blink while she was at stage. She cherished every heartbeat she spent there and wanted to memorize every second of this night.

Darya never thought she would ever regain her wings. But her songs still held that power to give her the sensation of free flight. As she sang loud and clear, she could feel her wings open up and spread behind her. Though she had been hiding from them for years, the moment Darya allowed herself to relax she felt the ease and grace of the flight. She could almost feel the light caress of wind and the soft touch of air as she sang.

She knew her voice could reach for the hearts of every person in the audience. She knew it, because she could feel the warmth from the connection. She knew all those hearts were beating in the rhythm of her songs. She had missed the power of those emotions – of the knowledge that she could influence, inspire, inflame hearts. She could almost believe that her voice had the magical power to compel – she could open new dimensions in her songs and her fans would see and feel them. She could also draw them to the darkest and deepest places…
as she had once done. No,
Darya screamed at herself in her mind,
I will never do that again. I will never let this feeling of endless freedom be taken away from me.
And she sang louder. Her voice filled the hall, enclosed everyone within her wings and cherished them.

She sang with that same eagerness and excitements until the last chord of the guitar and final beat of the drums died out. Deafening silence fell onto the stage for one second, and then the club burst into final applause. It was a massive wave of appreciation. She stood there embracing the moment, thanking every person who had joined her that evening. She could never thank them enough. Eventually, Darya felt Ed’s arms around her pulling her towards the backstage. She resisted for a moment. What if she left now and could never collect the courage to wait until the next time?

But Darya knew that was not true. She would be back again and again. The stage and love from fans was intoxicating. She belonged here and there was no other place she could be in.

*

That night, as many other nights that followed, she spent celebrating with friends from the industry. It felt so natural to be back where she belonged.

Eric had accompanied her the first two nights, but being the only one who didn’t drink annoyed him quite a bit. He did not complain and never tried to ask Darya not to go or not to drink, but she would eventually find him gloomy or sulking at home. Darya refused to think about is too much. She had finally regained her real world back and though she wanted to share it with Eric, she was not ready to sacrifice the fun, hangouts and parties to return home early to him.

Kiara and her mother had been trying to call her almost every day. Darya had found an easy solution for the first caller, as she redirected all of her calls to Eric and asked him to take care of any company business that Kiara had. Both of them were allowed to sign papers in her name and make transactions – she didn’t care much.

The case with her mother was much more difficult. As happy as her mom was to hear her happy voice, she sounded so concerned and worried every time Darya told her she was in a club with friends. It angered her that her mom was already prepared to comfort her as she failed yet again.

“Not happening, mom. I promise you it’s all good,” she said as she hung up on her and took a large swallow of her beer. Life was finally back into its normal rails after so many years and she was going to enjoy it.

That night she was back at 5 in the morning. Eric had been waiting for her return – worried that she did not answer her phone.

“Oh, I’m really sorry babe, my battery died and I hadn’t noticed it until we came out of the club.” She leaned and kissed the tip of his nose hoping to lighten his mood.

Eric wrapped his arms around her, though he wrinkled his nose. “You’ve had a lot of alcohol I see.”

“Not much, I was in a hurry to get back in your arms.”

“Yeah, I can see you really hurried,” he mumbled. Even grumpy, Eric was sweet and Darya had enough alcohol to cloud her thoughts and prevent her from noticing that the foundation of their relationship was starting to crack with every new tabloid article, paparazzi photograph, or every night carelessly spent drinking.

The first concert was quite a success, but the album was still far from being ready. Darya felt she could use all the time in the world to work on it. In fact, it was still easier and safer to be locked in the studio, or at least hide in a club with friends. In that way she could pretend the other side effects of being back to fame did not exist.

She could live pretty comfortable without the ghosts of the past being brought back every time a journalist decided to address her coming back. The only person happy about the raging chaos in her life was Anthony. Every time he read another useless tabloid puff up the fact or even worse, spread some rumors, he would flash his shark teeth and narrow his hawk’s eyes predicting more profit from the yet unfinished and unreleased album. If that meant throwing Darya into the den of hungry for rumors predators with cameras and microphones, of course he was going to do it with pleasure every time. Again and again. As much as the business required.

Darya was caught off guard that morning when Tony practically kidnapped her from the studio and drove her to the TV station in person. This was going to be her first live TV appearance since… well… since when she had vanished from the radars of the world. In some way it was good that she had not been told in advance – she would’ve fled or refused to come out of her bedroom and would probably eventually be dragged there by force in her pajamas with the whole bed and even with sleeping Eric in it.

The interviewer, who was the host of the most popular morning star, welcomed Darya with a glossy smile on her full pink lips. Why did she dislike her immediately? It was probably the predatory vibes Darya received from the young star – she could feel that the woman was ready to draw spikes of painful questions through her heart in order to gain more views for her show and more likes and comments from the social media users. For now, however, she greeted Darya with her perfect smile and offered her chocolate cookies before they went live.

She knows one weakness already; of course she has done her research to know all the others –
Darya thought, though she could not find the power of will to decline the cookies. She needed her morning dose of chocolate to help her carry through this upcoming torture.

Darya was never wrong when it came to reading the thoughts and emotions of people she didn’t know well. She might’ve been a fool not to read anything in Jay’s behavior until it was too late, but where her heart was involved, her mind and intuition seemed slightly dulled. It was not the case with the interviewer – Eleanor, who gave her another predatory smile and nod as she greeted her viewers and introduced Darya as ‘DaYa the beloved prodigal daughter of Rock’ n Roll gods’.

Whatever it is, it will be over in less than twenty minutes,
she reminded herself and tried to think of Eric and her mom, who were most probably watching the show right now.

“So, DaYa, is Jay coming back as well? I believe there are thousands of female hearts hoping for this reunion.”

“No, he is not,” she hoped the words could be turned into icicles and directed towards her interviewer, who didn’t feel content with her answer at all and nodded, as if prepared for such a shield and was going to charge at her once more.

“Is that because of the young mysterious stranger who has been seen with you multiple times? Is that true that he might’ve been the reason why Jay left you years ago?”

What? This can’t be true? They are going to try to hint that I’ve been unfaithful?

Darya knew she had to say something and wording whatever was on her mind would not be smart. For once she had decided to use the advice her own assistant – Kiara would always give her.

“I assume my fans would be more interested in my upcoming album than my personal life.” She said with a radiating smile and waved at the cameras.

Eleanor quickly recovered and smiled again finding probably another questions to take her off guard.

“Of course, speaking of the album. I’ve heard that with age it gets more and more difficult to sing those songs with loud screams. While it is brave of you to recover from failure after so many years, will you have screams in the new songs?”

Brilliant! Thank you Tony for bringing me here, now everyone knows I’ve failed and I’m old.

Though Darya could feel the ground shake under her feet, her rock star nature kicked into gear. It was like a second skin, which would grow at the most difficult moments, when her brain wouldn’t offer much solution from the situation. Darya smiled, she wasn’t sure what she was going to answer, yet she smiled with all the strength she could find inside her, then she opened her mouth and she sang a line from the “Lonely Bird” – the title song of her first album, which was known for its endlessly loud screams. As she sang, she could feel the silence around her, she could feel the silence that fell everywhere, where the show was being aired, she could even feel every breath that was held by every viewer who was watching the show.