Hockey Is My Boyfriend: Part One (8 page)

P
hil

H
off drove
over to my place after his game. We were planning on hitting a couple of parties together, but he was pretty wound up after hockey, so we decided to kick back and play a little SOCOM II before we left. As we played, he started talking about his game.

“Shit, I can’t believe we almost lost to Hollyburn. They suck big time.” When Hoff got going, it was best to let him vent. I didn’t need to say anything.

“Plus that fuckin’ Ericcson. I was wide open, and he has to take the shot. It was an accident it even went in. He was trying to impress his girlfriend. I heard him telling Shell that a hat trick is a sure-fire panty dropper. Asshole.”

Shit, Hoff was talking about Kelly. “So, Kelly was at your game?”

“Oh hey, P.D., I forgot about you and Kelly. Really sorry, man.” He looked extra concerned.

“What is it?”

“Are you sure you want to know?”

Fuck yes, what was it? I nodded.

“Ericcson’s parents are away for the weekend. He’s planning on doing it with Kelly tonight.”

Whump. That felt like a punch in the gut. “And he’s telling everyone?” God, Kelly, how could you be with such a jerk?

“Nah, he was just talking to Shell. I was beside them so I heard it all. He’s extra stoked because she’s still cherry.”

No need to remind me. I thought I would be Kelly’s first. I wondered if I wouldn’t mind if she was dating a better guy than Ericcson. Yeah, probably any guy would bother me, but Ericcson was bugging me even more. He was a conceited jerk. I was surprised that Kelly fell for looks. You never knew with girls.

“Let’s go out,” I said. I needed to be doing something and not letting the images in my mind take over: images of Kelly and someone else.

We drove down the Parkway. I was idly looking out the window when I saw a girl walking alone on the sidewalk.

“Stop the car! Stop the fucking car,” I yelled at Hoff.

“What?” He pulled into a bus turnout. I didn’t answer him; I got out and ran back.

“Kelly?” I yelled. She didn’t turn, but I knew it was her. I ran right up and spun her around. Her face was serious and stern.

“Phil? What are you doing here?” She hardly seemed aware of where she was.

I was so happy to see her here alone. I hugged her and squeezed her into my chest. “Kelly, you’re okay.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” she asked from inside the folds of my coat.

“I don’t know.” I wasn’t going to let on I knew where she was supposed to be and what she was supposed to be doing. But obviously she wasn’t. Fucking awesome!

“Do you need a ride home?” I asked her.

“I guess so. I wanted to walk and think. But I can’t really go home; I’m supposed to be at April’s. Maybe I should go home though.” She was sounding totally ditzy.

“We’ll give you a ride.” And I put my arm around her and led her to the car.

We didn’t actually go back, we went to Tim Horton’s and got some doughnuts and hot drinks. After eating something, she got more normal. Hoff, who tended to shoot off his mouth, asked the obvious question. “Where’s Nicklas?”

She hesitated for a moment. “We broke up.”

Sweet!

“Really?” Hoff continued, “But I just saw you at the game.” The guy had no shame, but this was all stuff I really wanted to know.

“I broke up with him because he looked you off on that last play.”

There was a moment of stunned silence, and then I started to laugh. Shit, Kelly was the funniest girl in the world!

Hoff nodded in agreement; finally he had someone who sympathized. “Fucking A,” he said. “I had a wide open net!”

“And the fact that the goal went in was a total fluke,” Kelly added. “He so did not get that. The game was riding on that play, and he was showboating.”

“I didn’t know you cared so much about the fortunes of North Van triple A,” I said.

“It’s not the game itself, or even the team. It’s that how you play shows what kind of person you are. I hadn’t seen Nicklas play in a while, and I forgot.” She rolled her eyes at me. “I know, I don’t want to hear I-told-you-so.”

She had a bite of doughnut and seemed to be cheering up. “You guys get it, right? I know April is not going to understand.”

“Of course we get it,” Hoff agreed. “I would have dumped him myself. In fact I wish I could dump him off my line.”

Kelly grinned. “I think I said that once myself.”

After our snack, she decided to go home so we took her there. I walked her to the door.

“So Kelly, are you free tomorrow night?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Phil. I need a break between guys.”

“No way. You owe me. You promised to tell me when you were ready and you reneged on that. I’m not taking the chance that you might accidentally start dating someone else if I wait.”

She smiled. “Okay, but can we just hang out for a bit? Like old times.”

“Sure, I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

“As if.” She laughed and went into the house.

“
I
’m sorry
, you broke up with the best-looking guy on the North Shore because he didn’t pass the puck and scored a goal instead? A goal that was for you.”

April was lying on my bed. She had come over for the full report on Friday night. My cat, Gino, was lying beside her, and both of them were giving me disgusted looks. Gino’s was due to the fact that nobody was rubbing his fat belly. April’s was due to the fact that I hadn’t let Nicklas rub my belly and more.

She closed her eyes. “Kelly, hockey is not a reason to break up with a nice boyfriend! If you keep this up, you’re going to die a virgin. All shrivelled up and wrinkly, since you don’t have any juices left in you.”

I was P.O.’ed. As expected, April thought I was an idiot. I felt I had to speak up in my defence. “Not necessarily. I actually have a date tonight.”

Her eyes flew open. “With who?”

“Phil.”

Her eyes closed again. “Oh, of course. Good old Phil.”

“Well, that’s kind of insulting. Phil is very attractive. You’re the one who’s into appearances.”

“Attractive, yes. But somehow you have managed to resist his charms for years now.”

“Have I?”

Her eyes opened again. She squinted at me. “Have you been fooling around with Phil? You have! When did this happen?”

“About a month ago. We only made out a little, but it was amazing. Totally amazing.”

“Why didn’t you tell me right away?”

“I felt so guilty. I was still going out with Nicklas, and it shouldn’t have happened. So I tried to forget about it.”

“But if you liked Phil better, why didn’t you dump Nicklas then?”

“I didn’t know if I did like him better. I really liked Nicklas and I didn’t have a good reason to break off with him.”

“So maybe you were looking for a reason to dump him?”

“I hope not. You know that I was ready to have sex with him last night. I still liked him until the game. But who knows? Feelings are such weird things.”

“Too true. Who am I to lecture you, I never know what I’m going to do until I do it.” She smiled for the first time during our conversation. She rubbed Gino’s tummy and he started purring. “Hmmm, you and Phil, maybe it’s fate. And I know he’s good in bed.”

“What? How do you know that for sure?”

“Because he went out with Jenn Valentine, and she talked. She said he was totally hung and knew exactly what to do.”

Instead of exciting me, this made me feel terrible. I had always found the idea of Phil and other girls gross. Plus I had no idea what to do, so maybe Phil would be totally disappointed with me. Bleh.

“I can see what you’re thinking. Don’t worry, guys like it when the girl is a little inexperienced. Or a lot, as in your case. How far did you and Nicklas go anyway?”

“I’m not talking.” And for once I tried to look as inscrutable as my Asian ancestors until April gave up.

“All I know is that they don’t like it when you have to tell them where things are. But apparently Phil knows already. I wonder how long it will be until you guys do the deed? Maybe I should start a pool. Tell me again how it was when you made out.”

I threw a pillow at her. For sure, the next time I was thinking about having sex, I wouldn’t ask April for advice. I would be a big girl and keep my mouth shut, before and after. Unlike stupid Jenn Valentine.

After a big game, I would sit in the dressing room and replay everything in my mind. I figured out what I did right and how I could do it again. I figured out how I screwed up and how to fix that. Now, I thought I needed to do the same thing for my relationship with Nicklas.

I didn’t regret going out with Nicklas, but I figured I should have taken things a little slower. I had mistaken being attracted to someone for really liking him. It would be different with Phil, because I already knew him as a person. But now I knew my body had a mind of its own, so I had to control that.

I was already good at that mind over matter stuff. When I was in a game, I could rise above the pain and really push myself to go harder. Now I had to channel that mental discipline into my personal life.

The main thing was being true to myself. With Nicklas, I had to try too hard to be a hot girlfriend, because that’s what he expected. And trying so hard made me feel like an impostor. That wasn’t me. Sure, April had me looking better, or looking more like what everyone thought a girl should look like. But I was still Kelly underneath: a jock, a goof, and just me. Definitely not a hot girlfriend.

With Phil, I was going to be honest. If he were making me nervous or uncomfortable, I would tell him. And just because I was attracted to him, that didn’t mean I was going to hop right into bed with him. We could take it slow.

But was Phil going to be good with that?

F
or my first
“date” with Phil, we went to a party at Karen Leighton’s place. I was nervous about the reaction we’d get when everyone saw we were dating. But when we walked in together—nothing.

We’d shown up together at parties for years, so nobody cared. I even saw people looking behind me, as if they were wondering who Phil’s real date was. And even though I was the one who wanted to take things slowly, I was pissed that nobody noticed.

Phil wasn’t the type to cling all night, so we both got something to drink and went our separate ways. Karen lived with her mom and two sisters. Her mom was pretty easygoing about parties and drinking and stuff. The Leighton women liked having a little testosterone around, so all of them were serial daters. Luckily for them, since they were all tall, blonde, and relaxed, they had no trouble finding dates. Karen went straight from one relationship to the next. That was another reason why I wanted to take things slowly with Phil; I figured you needed some time and space between relationships or else they didn’t mean a thing. I certainly didn’t need a guy around all the time.

It was nice to be at a party where I knew everyone for a change, so I mingled easily. However I sensed a different vibe around me now. Before I was Kelly-the-jock and guys were my buddies, but now I seemed to be Kelly, a girl who dates and is a possible hook-up. Guys were definitely relating to me in a new way, and frankly that was gross. I went to a pretty small high school and I was way too familiar with these guys. Kissing Phil had made me see him in a whole new way, but I certainly wasn’t going to make out with every guy I knew to find out if they had potential too. Barf.

That’s probably why I ended up sitting on the living room couch and talking to Aidan Woodhull, a new guy who had moved here from Liverpool. I didn’t know anything about Liverpool, but Aidan was happy to fill me in. He had a cute accent and a really dry sense of humour. He made jokes without smiling, so it took me two beats to even laugh. It turned out that he had relatives in Dublin, which was where my great-grandmother came from. My mom was always mentioning Dublin even though she had only been there once. Aidan had a total obsession with a soccer team called Everton, which he proceeded to tell me about in agonizing detail. If Canadians were this boring about hockey when we moved somewhere else, people must be fleeing at the sight of a maple leaf or a Roots sweatshirt. I started listening again when he switched topics.

“So Kelly, I’ve seen you about at school, but I’ve never seen you at a party before.”

“Um, well I’ve been going to different parties.” Not to mention hanging out in the back seat of Volvo SUV's.

“That’s a shame, innit? You’re really fit.” He edged closer and pulled a loose thread off my cardigan.

“Well, I try, I play hockey. And I run and go to the gym.” For some reason, Aidan found this funny and started to laugh loudly.

“You’re very refreshing! It’s a bit warm in here, fancy getting a bit of fresh air with me?” Aidan put his hand on my arm and I was about to say no when we were interrupted.

I didn’t even know Phil was in the living room, but suddenly he slipped onto the couch beside me. He put an arm around me and used his other hand to turn my face towards his. Then he leaned down and kissed me, hard at first and then he opened up my lips and Frenched me. Right in front of everyone! If it weren’t for the jolt of total lust I was having, I would have whacked him. As it was, I shoved him in the chest and he stopped.

“Hey, Aidan.” Phil’s words were neutral, but his tone wasn’t. I think he and Aidan played soccer together on the school team. “I see you’ve met my girlfriend.”

I had to give Aidan credit, even though Phil was being very in-your-face, he didn’t back down. Aidan merely smiled and said, “Oh you’re with Phil, are you? Perhaps I’ll check back next month then.” And then he left. Aidan might have only been here a few months but he already knew Phil’s reputation for short relationships.

Everyone in the room had quieted down and was now staring at us. If I wanted people to know we were going out, I had certainly gotten my wish.

“Phil, I can handle these things myself.”

“I thought I could save you the trouble and make sure every other guy knows what’s going on, so they don’t make the same mistake.” Phil shrugged. Then a smile crept onto his face and turned into a huge grin. “Besides, Kelly, I’m pretty stoked about us and I’d like everyone to know that you’re with me now.”

I made a little face. I didn’t like it when Phil got all macho, but he was kind of irresistible when he was really happy. That was the thing about Phil, when we were alone together he was so nice and relaxed and funny, like when we were younger. But if we were out with a bunch of people, he was all tough and cool. I didn’t like Cool Phil that much, but I figured Goofball Phil was not the good kisser.

Still it all felt like too much, too soon. Plus he had promised.

“What happened to being a perfect gentleman?”

“That starts tomorrow.” And he pulled me a little closer to him on the couch.

“Na-uh. It starts now.” I removed his hand from my shoulder.

Phil gave me an appraising look, like he was sizing me up for a hockey fight. Then he grinned and said, “You're the boss, Kel.” And we started talking about the Canucks.