Hold: Hold & Hide Book 1 (6 page)

He didn’t respond. Only smiled and continued to watch me stuff my face with deliciousness. I still worried about needing to go to the bathroom, but the taste and warmth in my stomach overpowered those concerns. Red watched me eat with a slight smirk. Perhaps he remembered being in my shoes. I finished eating, set my fork down, and asked, “So, is your twin brother back home now?”

He shook his head. “That’s not something I like to talk about.”

I understood and let it go. 

“I saw your sister this morning.” He set my empty tray back on the dresser and sat on the chair in the corner. For a second I worried he’d get something dirty, but he seemed careful enough. 

“And?” I said. 

“Do you think you’ll beat her?”

“Um ... beat her at what?”

“She seems pretty hardened.” He tapped the arm of the chair. 

“Beat her at what?”

“Okay, so let me give you a little advice. That is what I’m here for after all. Think of me as a life ring in the middle of the ocean.”

I raised my eyebrows. 

“Seriously, you’ll need the help.” He crossed his legs and stared at me for a second before continuing. “First thing you need—”

“What happened to your face?”

He touched the wound. 

“I want to know.” 

“Just ... I think I fell or something.”

“I’m supposed to believe that?”

“Honestly...” He touched it again. “I can’t remember.”

I laughed under my breath at the innocent dumbfounded look on his face as he rubbed the dried blood. 

“Anyway,” he said. “First, you need to understand that strength is in here.” He pointed to his temple. “Your mind is your best weapon against anything that happens to you here. They want to see a strong mind, not a strong body. So try not to show that you’re afraid, even if you are. And love...” He glanced out the window, then back to my wandering eyes. “Love is not a good quality to have while you’re here.”

“Okay. I’ll just become smarter overnight and shut off my heart while I’m at it.” I eyed the tall glass of juice across the room, but definitely didn’t want to pee in my room again. “I just want to know why I’m here. What the purpose is. What all of this is for. Why twins?”

He walked toward me and leaned down toward my ear. His breath lingered there, warming my neck, until he finally spoke one last single word before leaving the room. 

“Metamorphosis.”

I woke up not entirely sure which day it was. As usual. The early morning sun hid behind a sheet of gray clouds, barely lighting my room. I shuffled toward the blood sample box and waited there until it allowed me to place my finger inside, then I made my bed, checked the entire room for any sign of dirt, and stood by the door rocking my body back and forth to avoid another bathroom accident. Finally it beeped once and clicked open. I didn’t wait for a voice to come through the speaker as I jogged toward the bathroom at the end of the hall. 

“Claire!” a voice called from behind me. 

I waved my hand in the air as I rushed into the bathroom and locked the door. I can’t tell you how good it felt to see that toilet. 

I did my thing, washed my hands, and casually walked back into the hallway as though everything about that experience was completely normal. 

Emily’s wide eyes looked up and down. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” I looked over my body to see whatever it was that made her eyelids shoot toward the ceiling. “What?”

“People said you ... never mind.” She shook her head and we walked toward the stairs. “So you missed yesterday’s assignment?”

“What was it? Did you do the coffin thing?”

“Yeah. That didn’t scare me. I knew they wouldn’t kill me.”

I couldn’t remember if it scared me. Only a foggy memory of dirt piling on top of the coffin. “What was yesterday?”

“Well, we had a break the first day you were locked in your room. Got to meet a few people and talk to the others for once. Yesterday we had to stay calm in a box filled with spiders and, well, that one freaked me out a little.”

“Kinda glad I missed that one. Does anyone know what this is all for?”

She stopped mid-steps, inched toward me, and cupped my ear with her hand. “Some people say we’re here for some kind of brain experiment, but others are saying it’s some kind of testing to find leaders for different programs.”

I shook my head and didn’t bother to whisper or hide my annoyance. “I don’t get why our parents would agree to this.”

She shrugged. “Doubt they know details.”

“What about the other twins before us who leave and go back home? Don’t they tell their family and friends what they went through?”

She shrugged again as we entered the cafeteria. I immediately saw him. Emily continued to speak, but I stopped listening and almost ran toward Blake before someone snatched the seat next to him. 

I practically fell into the chair. “Finally.”

“Claire, are you okay?” He tucked my hair behind my ear and shifted his legs so that his knees met mine. “I heard you were already locked in your room. What happened?”

“I don’t remember. Maybe it was the blood sample thing or ... I kinda ...”

“What?”

“I had to go to the bathroom and they only allow us to leave the room when—”

“That is so messed up.” He picked up his fork as a server placed a salad in front of us. “I’m done with this place. I was ready to leave before we came.”

“Your mom was pretty upset when she left you guys.”

“Yeah.” He shoved the salad around his plate. “She never wanted this for us. But my dad—”

“Blake.” I leaned over our plates. “I missed you.”

He stopped his fork, stared at his plate, and nodded. Shoulders low, eyebrows reaching for each other, cheek bones way relaxed ... can’t say I’d ever seen Blake so depressed. 

We continued to eat in silence. One too many people at the table were listening to our conversation. I didn’t know them. Didn’t trust them. Maybe I already said too much. Maybe I couldn’t help it. 

When everyone began to leave the room I squeezed Blake’s hand and made sure he looked into my eyes. “It felt so good to see you.”

His smile, hardened by our new circumstances, fought for its life as he squeezed back. We stood and stared at each other for a few seconds. I took in every last feature, hoping I’d see him again, hoping we’d connect before this hell was over.

His smile brightened for an almost non-existent second, then dimmed again as though he had a dark secret to confess. “There’s something I—”

“Claire.” Audrey pulled me toward her. “Oh, seriously? This isn’t time to play pretend with your little boyfriend.”

She yanked my arm and pulled me away from him. I shrugged and mouthed, “Sorry,” as I backed up toward the door. 

He mouthed, “Watch out for....” then held up seven fingers, then one, then three. 713. 

“Claire!” her voice pinched my ear drums as she tightened her grip around my arm. “Pay attention.”

I finally looked at her and can honestly say I’d never seen her look like that before. Bloodshot eyes. Knotty hair pulled back into a haphazard pony tail. No makeup. Dark circles and chapped lips. 

“Um ... Audrey?”

She leaned into me. “Don’t tell anyone, but I’m sneaking out of here. If something happens to me I want you to tell Mom and Dad that I love them, but it was too hard.”

“But you never give up. You don’t believe in it.”

“This is different, Claire.” She closed her eyes tight and shook her head. “This is so freaking different.”

“You can’t just leave. They’ll totally catch you.”

I didn’t realize we had already reached her floor. She stopped and reached for the door handle to leave the stairwell. To leave me. And Mom. And Dad. 

They’d never get over it. 

“Audrey,” I pleaded, hoping she’d see the love in my eyes, but her gaze went through me, not into me. “Audrey?”

She blinked a few times. Dazed. I snapped my fingers in front of her face and she smiled.

“And you said I was spaced out with Blake.”

She tilted her head. “Who’s Blake?”

A speaker shrieked, then a voice said, “Forty-five seconds to enter your rooms. Please do not delay.”

She immediately disappeared. 

I wished I could too. 

The next morning I woke up with a serious headache, beyond thankful for another gray morning. Even gray was too bright. I squinted and made sure I didn’t miss the blood sample, then flopped my head back down to wait for it to beep. When it finally did I pressed my fingers into my ears and walked over to the flashing light, stuck my finger, and went right back to the bed. 

Audrey’s face came to mind. Something about leaving. What did she say yesterday? I shoved a pillow over my head and pictured myself in a closet filled with stacks of books, each one holding my important memories. I ran my fingers along the spines, looking for her name. For anything that reminded me of her. 

A sparkle-covered book caught my eye. Silver and pink. I pulled it from the shelf and turned to the first page which had only the words:
The much anticipated birth of Audrey and Claire Connelly. July 23, 2033.
 

I skipped to the last page and read a story about us. It said that we saw each other during meal time and she wanted to sneak out and run away. 

I closed the book, set it back on the shelf, and yanked the pillow from my head. 

I needed to stop her. 

I stood by the door, waiting for it to beep and click open. Please beep only once today. I needed a meal time. A way to find Audrey. Nothing happened. Not even a half of a beep. I waited, tried to rest again, and finally woke up to three beeps ringing through my brain.

“413. 413. 413. Please report to the main hall for your assignment.”

I darted up and jogged down the stairs, but stopped at the next floor. Out of breath, I pushed through the door and into the hallway. And into Red. 

“Don’t even think about it,” he said. “I don’t want to see you get in trouble again.”

“What are you doing here? I just wanted to tell—”

“She’ll be fine,” he said. “This isn’t allowed.” He motioned toward the door, then held it open for me to walk through. I did, but glanced over my shoulder at her door. 

“She’s locked in today.” Red waited for me to walk down the stairs, then followed two steps behind. “You really think she would’ve gotten away with that?”

I didn’t want her to, but honestly I still wanted the idea to be possible. 

“You’re being watched,” he said. “All the time. Don’t be stupid.”

“How did you know I’d come to her?”

“They all knew.” He rubbed his wrist. An intensely purple bruise covered the back of his hand.

“You okay?”

He put his hand into his pocket as we rounded the corner. Victoria waited for us with a huge smile on her face. Her super bright teeth reminded me that I hadn’t brushed mine since we arrived. No wonder Audrey was unhappy, I laughed inside, then felt bad.

Blake always told me I made jokes at inappropriate times to deal with awkward or painful situations. I guess I did it even in the privacy of my own mind. 

“Good afternoon,” Victoria said. “Right this way. You have an assignment today and then everyone will be meeting together for a dance this evening.”

“A dance?”

She nodded. Red rubbed his wrist again, but stopped when I caught him. We were led down a long hallway with a steep incline and into a bright room. I massaged my temples and squinted my eyes. The ceiling and floor looked identical, made from some kind of shiny white plastic or something. Walls, covered in mirrors from top to bottom, lined the long hallway. One rectangle mirror from ceiling to floor. Then another. And another. No end in sight. 

Victoria stepped back toward the door and urged Red to come with her. He held up a finger to her and leaned toward me.

“Stay focused,” he whispered. “Don’t panic. You’ll be okay.”

“How long will this one take?” I said to Victoria.

“As long as it needs to.”

Red left the room, then she followed. The door slid back into place and shot a burst of cool air my way. I warmed my arms and looked around, waiting for instructions. Minutes passed and nothing happened, so I took a small step. No alarms sounded. I took another and glanced to my right at a frazzled reflection of myself, but before I could complain about how tired I looked the entire mirror vibrated, then slipped into a hole in the ground as another mirror appeared from the ceiling and secured itself in place. My reflection stared back at me. Except in the mirror I stood a few feet shorter and had chocolate on my shirt and a frown on my face. I stepped closer and looked into the eyes of my childhood self. She stared back into mine, deeply, like she were more than a reflection. I touched the mirror and placed my hand on her frizzy hair. She reached her hand up and touched my fingers. Her eyes penetrated the glass like our hands couldn’t. I wanted to hug her as her chest rose and fell rapidly. She clenched her eyes together, then opened them and stared back into me as a tear dripped down her face. I watched it turn red on the floor.