Holly's Intuition (9 page)

Nevertheless, she couldn’t bring herself to regret it. Her sisters always cal ed her the sensible one. Now she began to wonder if she’d been selfish.

Her eyes smarted. The thought that she might prove to be a fatal disruption in Stewart and Joshua’s relationship hurt most of al . They were meant to be together, and if she had endangered that she would never forgive herself.

Joshua stood in the shower, soaping his erection. His eyes were shut, and he’d positioned himself under the showerhead with the water pounding against his face as he tried to blank his mind. It wasn’t working. The image of Stewart climbing between Hol y’s open thighs kept flitting through his mind, arousing him until his cock was rigid and his bal s aching for release.

He’d practical y done a runner on Stewart that day. Retrieving his spare bike from storage, he’d cycled as far as the Sussex Downs in an effort to sort it out in his head, but even that hadn’t helped. He wanted it, that’s why. He wanted to relive every sexy moment. The way it had made him feel—torn, but deliciously so—as he watched and waited, the thril of sharing a woman made even more absurdly deviant because of the fact he was in the bed where he’d had teenage fantasies about sex of al varieties, and he was in it with two lovers. He wasn’t even sure how the hel it had happened, the events of the early part of that evening a blur up until they had al three laid down on that bed, but it was impossible to forget what had happened then.

He removed his hand from his cock and put both palms flat to the wal tiles. It felt wrong, jacking off in the shower while Stewart was out there waiting for him to come to bed. How ludicrous was that? Last night hadn’t felt wrong. It was damn confusing, but it hadn’t felt wrong.
I love Stewart, how can this
be?

In just a few days Donna would be married and he could talk to his parents about his relationship with Stewart. He’d committed to that and he wanted it. It wasn’t going to be easy, but that was his goal.
Not going to let Stewart down.

Forcing his thoughts to the financial planning meeting he had to lead the fol owing day, he turned off the shower and towel ed himself dry. He needed to order a new bike too. His old bike was irreparable from the accident and the spare didn’t have the high spec he was used to nowadays. Reaching for his jockey shorts he put them on. As his hands moved over his hips, he remembered Hol y’s touch on his body, her inquisitive fingers and her luscious mouth under his.
Sleep. Perhaps sleep will help.

When he walked into the bedroom, however, Stewart was on the bed, hands behind his head, waiting. His naked body gleamed in the lamplight. His muscled form looked almost painterly in the light, as if someone had touched it with light here and there, drawing the eye to his biceps and abs, and his powerful thighs. He wore it so easily, as if he was unaware what an Adonis he was. Once again Joshua’s blood surged to his cock, and he cursed silently.

He moved quickly, heading for his side of the bed. He couldn’t pretend last night hadn’t happened, and he wasn’t ready for Stewart to be chil ed about it.

Each time Stewart had caught his eye that day, he’d had that calm, questioning look, the one that Joshua knew so wel , the one that meant he was waiting expectantly for Joshua to say something.

Joshua almost wished he’d get angry, pin him to the wal and shake an opinion out of him. Would it help? No. Stewart knew him too wel . He’d tease him until he blurted out his feelings on the matter. He wished he had his lover’s sure nature. He wanted to be able to comment on it easily, but how could he? It had been unexpected, wild, and it had thrown him way off his set course. So instead of commenting, he sat down on his side of the bed and fiddled with his watch on the bedside table.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Stewart asked, eventual y.

“No.”

“Okay.” Stewart elongated the one word response, indicating his doubt.

The silence in the air weighed heavily. Joshua attempted to ignore it and lay down on his side.

Eventual y Stewart shifted his position and turned so that he was almost against Joshua’s back, but not quite. “Any particular reason why you don’t want to talk about it?”

“I’l talk when I’m ready.”

“In that case, get settled and I’l spoon you.”

Relieved that he wasn’t going to quiz him any further, Joshua let his head sink into the pil ow.

Stewart rol ed closer and wrapped his hand round Joshua’s waist, fingers trailing on his abdomen. “And I’l ignore this stonking erection you’ve got, shal I?”

Shit
. Joshua’s hopes for the temporary brainwash of sleep sank.

Stewart nudged that erection with his forearm then gave a soft laugh.

What the hel could Joshua say? Stewart had probably spotted it the moment he came out of the shower, and he would also know Joshua was lying if he said he wasn’t in the mood for sex. The irony of it was that thinking about the night before made him aroused, but his mind was not working in a way that was conducive to the kind of casual intimacy they’d had before.

“I’d appreciate that,” Joshua responded grimly. It was pretty clear that Stewart was aware he was thinking about what had happened between the three of them the night before. What a mess, but he didn’t want to lose this man. Acting on instinct he grabbed Stewart’s hand and held it tight against his chest. “I’m sorry I’m such a fuck-up.”

Stewart leaned in and breathed against Joshua’s neck, planting a kiss below his ear. The tender touch did nothing to rid Joshua of his erection.

“You’re not a fuck-up. Take your time. It’s al new. Your life is about order and control, and this last year has been about change and about not being in control.”

Why was it that he was so wise, and so calm? That’s what had attracted Joshua though, Stewart’s sureness about what he was and what he wanted.

He wouldn’t let anyone judge him, but Josh was afraid of that.

Joshua rol ed on to his back, and met his lover’s gaze. “Is it any wonder I love you?”

“I’m glad you appreciate me.” Stewart grinned.

Joshua thought he was going to say something else, but instead he moved down the bed. Joshua’s body jolted. Stewart had taken the crown of his cock into his mouth and was gently kneading him between his bal s with his knuckles.

When he moaned aloud, Stewart lifted his head.

“Don’t fight it,” he urged.

Joshua was about to say he wasn’t fighting it, but he realised Stewart was talking about last night. His cock jerked in Stewart’s grip.

Stewart’s eyebrows lifted and he gave a dark chuckle.

Joshua pressed his lips together determinedly.

Stewart responded by lowering his head and tonguing Joshua’s bal s. “Thinking about last night huh?” he whispered, between moving sides. “Stop worrying about it and just think about how good it felt.”

It had felt good
. Don’t make me say it. Please
.

But Stewart forced him on with each stroke of his tongue, and when he took one bal into his mouth and cradled it, sucking on it al the while, and his cock reached, and reached, Joshua blurted it out. “Watching you with her, it…”

He shook his head, denying how it had made him feel, but it was the truth.

“It what?” Stewart sucked harder, his hand locked around the girth of Joshua’s erection, refusing to jack him off until he confessed.

Joshua panted aloud. His release depended on Stewart’s wil . “Damn it, Stewart, it made me want to fuck you both, and you know it!”

* * * *

Hol y gave a deep internal groan, and forced a smile. Al afternoon she’d had bits and pieces filtering through from Joshua, but the connection had exploded into an overload of sensory stimulation that made her feel dizzy. At the best of times it was hard to bear, but she was currently in company and she was in danger of keeling over. She reached for the back of the nearby sofa and gripped on to it, trying to focus on what her sister was saying to her.

“Okay sweetheart, you get settled in. I’d better go. Owen wil have brought the car round to the front by now and Alec is holding the lift.” Monica embraced her.

“Thanks, I appreciate this.” Hol y took comfort from the hug. However, seeing her older sister with her current love interests did nothing to assuage her growing doubts and insecurities about what had happened with her and her neighbours.

Monica looked radiant, and who could blame her for being that when she was dressed classy for a business function, accompanied by two dapper men in evening suits. Hol y had met Owen briefly before, but she hadn’t met Alec. The two men were close and had been for some time. They were both bisexual and had approached Monica together. That was quite different to her situation, which had been brought about because of her psychic link, and she hated that. It had been hard for Monica, opening up to these two men, but they worked through it. Seeing them standing on either side of her sister when she had first arrived, casual and yet deeply bound together, made her doubt what she had done. Was it because her sister had a threesome that she wanted one? The new question added to Hol y’s growing sense of unease. It also didn’t help that she was stil able to channel Joshua’s emotions and she was now on the other side of the city.

But it hadn’t happened that way, she assured herself. She hadn’t gone looking for a relationship with two men just because her sister had done it. It was only because of her psychic connection with Joshua that the event had become possible—inevitable even. Something that Monica had said about her relationship came to mind though. She’d said that when it came to her psychic ability two men with a bond of their own seemed to be able to handle what a single man might run scared of.

Was that what appealed to her and made her want more?
They make me want more.

Monica picked up keys and jacket, pul ing Hol y back to the present moment.

“Help yourself to whatever you need.” She stepped closer to Hol y. “It isn’t helping much, is it?”

Hol y shook her head, resigned to her fate. “The connection is vaguer, but that just seems to make me reach for it even more.”

She felt doomed, doomed to a life living their experiences second-hand. It had even more impact on her emotions now that she had been with them and made love with them both. Each secondary psychic contact was more tangible, because of her memories of the night before. It made her heart ache to be with them again, to experience that kind of intense three-way physical and emotional entanglement—that and more, to get to know them, properly be with them. It was so wrong, because they were a couple and she was just a diversion.

“Let’s have lunch with Faye tomorrow. How’s that?” Monica was offering her the chance of support, and Hol y was ready to take it.

She squeezed her sister’s hand. “Thanks. That would be great.”

When Monica had gone and she was final y alone, she flopped on to the sofa and shut her eyes, reaching out.
I’m addicted to them
. Even though distance had an impact, she couldn’t resist, she had to know.

Don’t force me to say it
. Joshua’s thoughts were in chaos, while Stewart kissed the taut hot surface of his erection, occasional y baring his teeth and pausing to ask him something.

Hol y couldn’t hear what he was asking, but she could guess the gist of it from Joshua’s response. Stewart was talking to him about their threesome, while torturing his erection with the briefest of touches. Hol y’s reactions were playing havoc with her, putting her through the emotional mangle whilst fuel ing her libido to overload.

Breathless and weak with arousal, she pressed her head back against the sofa, keeping her eyes closed. In her mind and senses, the most powerful erotic show she could ever have known ran on, and in her heart the emotional chaos fol owed.

“Yes,” Hol y admitted, to her sisters the fol owing day, “I somehow managed to make it even worse for Joshua because the three of us spent the night in bed together in his parents’ home.”

Her sisters both stared across the table at her, their attention hooked.

Monica, who had organised the rush meeting that Monday lunchtime, was straight in with questions, clarifying the details. “When you say you spent the night in bed with them, do you mean that you had sex with them?”

Hol y took a deep breath and nodded. She hadn’t meant to reveal it quite so soon after it happened, but it was playing on her mind and she needed her sisters’ advice.

Joshua was concerned about his ever-increasing relationship and sexuality complications, and she felt guilty that she had worsened it.

“So are they like…bisexual?” Faye asked the questioned careful y, looking at Monica, who had experience of such matters, then back at Hol y with a surprised expression on her face. She obviously couldn’t believe that her two older sisters had turned out to be so wild. She was the free-spirited, arty one amongst them, and clearly thought it was she who should have such a wild life.

“Stewart is bisexual, and Joshua is in a rather confused place at the moment, and I’m afraid I haven’t helped out.” Hol y put her elbows on the coffee table and rested her chin on her hands. “He’s been building up to tel ing his family that he is living with a man, and now I’ve come into the picture and that has kind of muddied the waters for him.”

Hol y was getting both his thoughts about their relationship, and his emotions and desires, and they were severely in conflict. His head told him he was in a mess. Yet deep down he felt more at peace than he had in a while, as if a solid line had been drawn in his sexuality and the notion of being either straight or gay had been kicked aside, if only for a moment. Hol y had felt him thinking it through in the night, admitting that he had wanted her as wel as Stewart in his bed the previous night, and he wanted it again.

Whilst his desire set tremulous anticipation simmering inside her, she couldn’t shake the heavy guilt she felt at knowing his every thought.

Monica frowned. “It’s a complicated situation and I think you’re going to have to address one thing at a time.” Monica considered her careful y.

“What’s the worst of it?”

“The guilt about the psychic connection. Hands down. It makes me feel I can’t talk to them properly, because it becomes obvious I know so much.”

“Joshua doesn’t know that you have any psychic connection?” Faye was amazed.

“It’s been real y hard, hiding it. That’s the problem. I think I need to tel them.” Hol y sighed and studied Monica. “Was it hard, when you told Owen and Alec?”

“Incredibly so, but when a relationship has already been formed, they are forced to take it seriously. We’ve always been afraid to tel people, that they would ridicule us or turn away, but it’s different when it’s someone you have grown fond of.” Monica paused, her expression meaningful. “And it’s obvious that you are fond of them.”

Hol y nodded. She pul ed her leather jacket close over her uniform and glanced at her watch. She had an extra hour after lunch, where a patient had cancel ed, and she was giving serious thought to going over to Stewart’s gym and trying to talk to him about it. Logic told her that was the best way. “I’m going to tel them, soon.”

The youngest Evans sister, Faye, stared across the table at her older sisters and shook her head. “So that means you’ve both gone back on everything you always said you wouldn’t do,” Faye stated sternly, “and you’ve started tel ing people about your psychic abilities.”

“Sometimes you can’t avoid it,” Hol y explained. For years they had stuck together on that point. “Tel ing other people about our abilities is dangerous, but when you get close to people and your psychic skil s are involved, there real y is no way around it.”

“We’re adults now,” Hol y added, “and if we want to have serious adult relationships we have to let people know al of what we are, including that hidden aspect.”

Monica, who was preparing to leave the country and utilise her psychic ability in her new job, nodded. “Hol y’s right, when it’s about someone you love and the psychic thing is becoming a barrier to you having a proper relationship with them, you have to find a way to make it work. You have to trust them.”

“I suppose I can understand that, because I can see what it’s done for you, sharing that part of your life with your boyfriends.” Faye had a wistful look in her eyes. “And the fact you are going to use your skil as part of your job in future is making me have a serious rethink about my work.”

“What do you mean?” Hol y asked.

Faye shrugged. “It’s three years since I’ve graduated with a degree in Fine Art and I’m stil working in a shop. Short of retraining in interior design or something, I don’t see how I can use my artistic skil s to earn a living. I started thinking that maybe I should consider other options and maybe use my ability in some way.”

Hol y tried not to react too quickly, thinking it through before she responded. It made sense. Of the three of them, Faye had always had the most viable skil , from that point of view. Her psychic ability enabled her to communicate with the spirits of those who had passed on. “What do you mean, like those psychics who do TV shows and take members of the audience to work with them?”

Hol y asked the question tentatively, because the thought of Faye putting herself out there so much sent shivers through her.

Faye shook her head. “No, nothing like that. I’m thinking people quite often live with ghosts in their homes and what bugs them most of al is why they are there. So I could offer a service to help people come to terms with why the spirits exist in the world by acting as a kind of go-between.”

Monica gave a cautious nod. “It sounds like an exciting proposition. Do you think there’s much chance of earning a living through it?”

Monica had the most high-powered job of them al and took home a good salary.

Faye shrugged. “I haven’t a clue. I don’t know how much work there might be until I try. I’m getting in a rut, you know. I want to get out there and meet different people.”

She looked from one to the other of her older sisters, both of whom were now involved in complex physical and emotional relationships with men, despite their psychic ability, something that the three of them had sometimes doubted would ever happen. Faye was the most flirty and outgoing of the three of them, and yet she was single. Her years at Art Col ege had led to her being more of a party girl than her older sisters, and her psychic skil was something that didn’t real y bother her unless she happened to be in a place where spirits resided.

“I guess you could give it a try. Maybe go part-time in your current job until you find out how much work there might be.” Hol y offered the compromise because she could see that Faye was straining at the leash, looking for a change.

Monica’s change had done her a lot of good, and she was about to launch into a whole new world of opportunities. Perhaps they had al been too cautious with their psychic skil s, Hol y considered. Would sharing her secret talent with Stewart and Joshua change the situation, and in what way? Would it make things easier for Joshua, who was struggling to understand why she understood him so wel , or make things worse?

There was only one way to find out.

* * * *

The last person Stewart expected to see walk into his gym that afternoon was Hol y, but when he saw her enter through the double glass doors and glance about the place his day got a whole lot better. He’d been brooding about everything that had gone on. Joshua he could handle. Besides, Josh’s resistance to the natural chaos of life was crumbling. Stewart hadn’t, however, liked the way Hol y had taken off on them the day before. She’d closed up on the journey home, and he’d regretted that he hadn’t had a chance to talk to her.

He glanced at his watch. Luckily his current session was almost at an end. He nodded at his client. “Five minutes on the bike to cool down and you’re done.”

The man on the cross trainer grunted his thanks and wilted to a halt.

Grabbing his clipboard, Stewart signed the client off for the day and looked back towards the reception. Hol y had paused at the desk and leaned up against it with her hands while she spoke to Daryl, who was currently manning the entrance. After she’d spoken to him she nodded her head in Stewart’s direction.

When their eyes met there was an instant connection, something that tugged at his gut and made him want to hold her. He signal ed Darryl to let her in. As he watched her making her way through the equipment towards him, his whole mood lifted. Could he wish for a sexier visitor? The fact that she wore her dental hygienist’s uniform made it even better. The tight-fitting dress had always turned him on, and now that he’d got his hands on what was underneath it, he felt as if he was at liberty to appreciate it openly. It was cinched at the waist, zipped diagonal y over the breast and outlined her figure perfectly. There was something incredibly sexy about it. She had her hair up and tightly clipped at the back of her head, which made her look severe but powerful She also had high heels on, and a black leather jacket over the dress emphasised its sharp look. The dress ended right above the knee.

Whoever had designed the outfit was thinking of ways to distract the patient from having their teeth poked at with sharp instruments, obviously. It would definitely work on him. She could poke at his teeth al day long if she looked like that.

As she walked through the gym, she glanced about as if curious, then focussed on him, observing his appearance in gym gear as she approached.

“Hol y, this is a surprise.”

“I hope you don’t mind me cal ing by.”

“No, far from it. How did you find me?”

“Body Torque.” She smiled, and the look that flitted through her eyes was damn sexy. “You mentioned the name of the gym. It was easy to remember.”

“In that case I’m glad I mentioned it.” Unable to hold back, he ducked in to rest a quick kiss on her mouth, stroking her upper arm as he did so. What he real y wanted to do involved ful body contact.

I want this woman
. It struck him soundly inside a heartbeat. He wanted her.
As much as Josh?
His conscience prickled uneasily. It was too soon to make grand decisions. He was in danger of torturing himself the way Joshua did, and there was enough of that going on. For now it was her happiness that concerned him, and her expression had grown serious again after he kissed her. “Are you okay?”

Her glance flitted about. “I had to speak to you, on a couple of counts.”

That concerned him. The way she’d taken off the day before had made him wonder if she’d regretted what had happened between the three of them, and that in turn made him wonder if they would see her again. When he’d said as much to Joshua, it had made Josh even more angsty.

“I’m glad you came. I was planning to check on you tonight.”

She smiled and nodded at that. “Is there somewhere a bit more private?”

“Of course. We can go to my office.” He put his hand around the back of her shoulders and directed her towards the glass cubicle at the far end of the gym space, where they could get some privacy.

“This place is a terrific idea,” she commented as they walked, “a gym inside a city shopping arcade.”

“It works wel . It’s smal but it suits the clients. We get a lot of guys come in while their girlfriends and wives are shopping.”

“I can see how that would appeal. And this is where you met Joshua.”

“It is.” Had Joshua told her that? He didn’t remember it being mentioned.

Once inside the cubicle he shut the door and took her into his arms to kiss her. She didn’t resist. They could stil be seen from the gym, and the embrace was too brief for his liking, but he had to touch her. Her body yielded against his and her lips parted as she returned the kiss. Sensuous, heated, deliberate—she wanted the fleeting contact as much as he did. When he drew back he stroked his thumb over her cheek. “So good to see you.”

“I had to come.”

For a long moment they held that pose and stared into each other’s eyes, and Stewart knew he’d never wanted any woman as much as he wanted her. Whether it was because the attraction went three ways, or was simply down to the fact that Hol y was Hol y, he had no clue, but he knew now and that was al that mattered. It was so hard not to keep her in his arms.

He offered her a seat.

She shook her head. “No, thanks, I’l stand. I can’t stay long. I have a client in an hour and it’s going to take me forty minutes to get back to the clinic.”

Shame
, he thought, because he wouldn’t mind spending the entire afternoon with her. The memory of what had happened between them, the three of them, was al too fresh and al too stimulating. Hol y wore a serious expression, which helped him focus. Her usual y cautious manner seemed even more intense, as if she was weighed down by whatever it was on her mind. “Go ahead, I’m listening.”

She took a deep breath. “First of al , I wanted to ask you if it was a mistake, what happened between the three of us on Saturday night?”

So, she
had
run scared. She was direct about her concerns though, he liked that. “No, no way. You don’t believe that, do you?”

The tension in her expression lessened. “I have no regrets at al ,” she responded, with no hesitation whatsoever.