Home: A Novel (21 page)

I started breathing heavily.
 
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here was he going with this?

He turned to face me. “I love you more than anything.”

“I know,” I whispered.

“Will you let me spend the rest of my life proving it to you?” he asked.

My eyes got huge. “What?”

He walked over to the porch swing and got down on one knee. Reaching into his front shirt pocket, he pulled out the most beautiful princess cut diamond ring I had ever seen.

“Marry me,” he whispered. Of course he told me instead of asking like a normal person.

I rolled my eyes just to mess with him. “So bossy,” I teased.

He laughed, “Lil, don’t be a smart ass and ruin this for me.”

I threw my head back and burst out laughing. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Justin.”

He stood up and lifted me with him. I wrapped my legs around his midsection as he kissed me. He turned and sat down on the porch swing and positioned my legs on each side of his.

His hands slowly brushed the hair back over my shoulders. Running his fingers slowly down my back, he settled them on my hips. He nipped at my bottom lip and then licked away the sting.

“I want you,” I whispered.

“You have me.”

He grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it slightly so his hand could slide underneath.

“Hmmm…maybe we better take this inside,” he murmured.

My head, clouded with the love I felt for him, nodded in response.

He stood, still holding me, and set me down on my feet, keeping his arms around me until I was steady. “Okay, soon to be wife, let’s get in the house and finish what we started.
 
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hen will you help me unpack all your stuff?”

“Can you give me a sec? I’ll be right in, okay?”

“You sure you’re alright?” he asked.

“Positive.”

“Okay, Bright Eyes.”

I turned back around and gazed out over Justin’s land as he walked into his house. Soon it would be mine as well.
 
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e had a long way to go, the two of us, but I knew we’d eventually get there. I looked up to the clouds and closed my eyes, wondering if Sarah could see me.

Taking a deep breath of the fresh air, I couldn’t help but smile. She was right, this place did smell like shit.

Epilogue

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rasshoppers jumped with each step I took.
 
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he warm sun shone down on my bare shoulders as I walked down the long lane to the mailbox. I had a special place in my heart for this time of year. Fall was when my life started.
 
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es, I have a spring birthday, but fall was when I came home. Fall was when I fell in love with a man I’d known my entire life.

And now, when I walked to get the mail in the afternoon, I looked for the bus. Fall was also when our children went back to school.

It had been ten years.
 
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en years since the innocent face of one little girl changed my life forever.
 
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en years since the man I love more than life put his ring on my finger.
 
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en years since I said goodbye to my best friend.

I still thought of Sarah every so often. My life as a celebrity had been cemented in the archives of tabloid history forever. Every picture, every interview, every concert I’d ever done included Sarah in some aspect. A few years back
 
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H1 did their famous “Where are they now?” for people just like me. Granted of all the celebrities they showed, I was the only one who walked away voluntarily. Either way, I was still on the ‘has been’ list but that was fine by me.

I never imagined my life to be what it is now. After Justin and I got married we wasted no time starting our family. Our son, Carter Daniel, will turn nine years old this winter and just entered the third grade. His sister, Alexis Rae, was starting Kindergarten. It was the first time having both kids out of the house each day. For as long as I’d looked forward to these years, I was a little saddened that they came up on us so quickly.

And now here I stood. A farmer’s wife, a mother, a homemaker, waiting at the end of the lane for the bus to drop off my little pieces of heaven.

I reached into the mailbox and pulled out the pile of mail. Bills, junk mail, and the ever popular US
 
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eekly magazine. My sister-in-law, Becky, had given me a subscription as a joke last year for Christmas, saying I needed to know what was going on with my all my old celebrity friends. I just rolled my eyes at her horrid attempt at humor.

On the cover was a gorgeous blond girl with flawless skin. She couldn’t be more than sixteen, if even that. Across the bottom were the words “Country Music’s New It Girl”. I couldn’t even open it. I’m sure she was full of big dreams and expectations for what her wild ride would be like. I prayed to God that she had good people around to help her through. I didn’t have anyone at first, and look what that got me.

A chill went down my spine as I closed my eyes and pictured Colton. I had testified at his trial since I witnessed him shoot Sarah at point blank range.
 
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hankfully, I wasn’t the only witness.
 
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here was no doubt in the jurors’ minds of Colton’s guilt. He was sentenced to life in prison with no chance of parole.
 
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here was no way he could get to me or my family again. Not ever.

Looking down at the magazine cover, I tried to remember what it felt like to be in the young girl’s position. New to the country music world. Fame knocking on my front door with enough money promised to back it for years to come. It was an exciting time in my life. But do I miss it?

Not one bit.

The Harvest Festival that fateful night ten years ago was my last ever public performance. After that, I had no desire to ever get on stage again. I’d been offered, plenty of times, but I always respectfully declined. It felt a little wrong knowing Sarah wouldn’t be waiting in the wings to tell me ‘good job girlfriend.’ I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I heard the telltale rumble coming from the distance. Rubber tires crunching down the dirt and gravel as they carried my babies home from school. It stopped at the end of the lane and my two loves flew off and into my arms.

“Mama!!” Lexi squealed. “School is so much fun.”

I smiled at her. “I’m glad you had a good day, Baby Girl.” Carter, who was not nearly as rambunctious and loud as his little sister, started walking up the lane to the house.

He was so sensitive, just like his Daddy, underneath all that rough exterior. I shuddered to think what could have happened today at school. It was only the first day.

Once we got up to the farmhouse, Lexi ran in to grab a snack. I pulled Carter aside. “Come swing with me.”

“Mom, I’m in third grade. I don’t swing.”

“Fine.
 
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hat happened today?”

He sighed. “There’s a new kid. He found out that you used to be a famous singer and he made fun of me, like, all day because of it.”

Hmmm, we’d had this issue before. Most of the time though it was because the girls were giving him attention, thinking it would lead them to meeting other celebrities or something, and the boys were jealous.

“Okay.”

“I got mad and pushed him.”

“Carter,” I scolded. It was not like him to get physical with other kids.

“It’s not what you think, mom. He said bad things about you that I didn’t like.”

“What did he say?”

I saw his jaw clench out of anger. “Nothing I’m ever gonna repeat.”

“Okay, well, thank you for sticking up for me. I love you. I’m proud of you, but please don’t get physical with other kids, okay?”

“Yeah. Is Dad in the house?” he asked.

I nodded as we walked to the front door.

“And then,” I heard come from inside. Lexi was at the kitchen table, sitting on Justin’s lap telling him all about her day. “Then, after lunch we got these little rug thingy’s, and we laid down, and we had REST
 
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IME!” She screeched so loudly by the end, Justin had to cover his ears.

“How about you big guy?
 
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hird grade everything you dreamed of and more?”

Carter just shrugged and went to put his bag and shoes away. Justin looked to me. I gave a slight shake of my head and mouthed the word “later” to him. It wasn’t something we needed to push right now.

“What’s all that?” he asked, gesturing down to my hands.

“Mail,” I answered as I threw the pile onto the counter.
 
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he US
 
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eekly magazine slipped from the pile and landed on the floor. I picked it up and set it back on the counter. Slowly, I ran my hand over the beautiful, innocent face of the young girl.

I closed my eyes and thanked God for all the gifts in my life.

Justin came up behind me and wrapped his strong arms around my midsection. “Who’s that?” he asked.

“Country Music’s new ‘it’ girl,” I said softly.

“And that makes you sad?”

I shook my head. “No, it makes me grateful.”

He leaned in and kissed my neck.

“Gross, Daddy!
 
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hy do you have to kiss Mama ALL the time?” Lexi screeched as she took a drink of her juice box.

I giggled.

“Okay,” he clapped his hands together. “First day of school deserves pizza for supper.
 
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ho’s coming with me to pick it up in town?”

Both kids raced outside to the truck.

Justin leaned in and whispered in my ear. “I’m grateful for you. And I promise I can give you something extra special to be grateful for later tonight.” He kissed me breathless and walked out the door.

As the truck pulled out, I sat down on my favorite swing on the wrap around porch. Over the years it had become my place to reflect and relax. I looked around at the beautiful farm. It didn’t hurt that with my millions in the bank every building had gotten an overhaul.
 
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he place was gorgeous.
 
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e added on a whole new addition to the southwest side of the house. Not that it wasn’t big enough in the first place. But we changed a few things around, knocking down walls to make each room double in size.

It was a bitch to clean but I didn’t complain too much.

I never dreamed my life would turn out the way it did. Part of me felt a little guilty. I had the best of both worlds. My celebrity years had been spent travelling the globe doing what I loved at the time. And now I lived on a farm in Iowa. I shook my head and giggled at the thought. If the A-list crowd could see me now. Not that I ever fit in with those people anyway, but they’d still never imagine me living this simply.

I wasn’t alone in my thoughts for too long before Justin and the kids were back with pizza.

“Mama, we got
 
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WO LARGE ONES!” Lexi screamed.
 
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hat child had one volume and it was
 
loud
. I couldn’t imagine what her teen years were going to be like when she started yelling because she was mad instead of excited.

We walked inside and sat around the table.

I felt the tears begin to gather in my eyes as I looked around at the three people who meant more to me than anything in this world.

Justin caught my eye and knew I was having a moment.

“Hey,” he said softly.

I looked up at my beautiful man. “Love you,” he whispered as he winked at me.

I smiled.
 
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his was worth more than any stadium show, record deal or photo shoot.

This, was home.

Acknowledgements

Thank you so much for reading my first novel.

First and foremost, thank you to God for the countless blessings in my life. I am forever grateful.

I couldn’t have done anything without the support and encouragement of my husband, who more than anything is just happy that I FINALLY have a ‘hobby.’ And for the two little munchkins who rarely let me sit down and hash out a chapter.
 
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ou made this a challenge in every aspect of the word.

My list of thank you’s could go on forever. So many people indirectly helped me write this book, and I couldn’t have done it without every single one of you.

The biggest thank you in the world goes to Cayen.
 
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his book would not be what it is without your guidance and support. And mostly, not being afraid to tell me when it was not good.

A huge thank you to Ann and Jenni, who read chapter by chapter along with Cayen and gave such great feedback. I owe you girls BIG
 
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IME!!!!

Thanks to my betas, Natalie, Jessica and Molly, for the push to re-write the beginning of the book, as well as a few other problem areas.

Thank you, JJ Grinvalds, for the most amazing cover!!!!
 
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ou are BEYOND talented!! And to Jenni Ballard, my amazing friend and gorgeous cover model.

To Dave, whose endless life talks over the years not only typically ended with me in tears, but made me realize that life is too short to not chase your dreams. Look at me, finally listening to you!

Thank you to my brother, Ryan, because Idle Hands is the best band name. Of. All.
 
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ime.

Thank you to my parents. I know you’re proud even if you think this book totally sucks. And thank you for that.
 
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ou are the best parents EVER.

And to everyone in the world who always said, “Someday I’m gonna…..” but never did anything about it. Just do it. It might scare the hell out of you, but do it for you.
 
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rust me. Life is too short to be scared of chasing your dream.