Home Is Where the Heart Is (4 page)

Was that true? Cathie rather hoped it may well be. She had changed quite a lot over the years, gaining considerably more courage and faith in herself. Had Steve noticed that in her, or was he playing her for a fool yet again? They’d been friends from childhood, as he came from the same rough area as herself. But although he was fun to work with at these charity events, she still had her reservations about him.

She recalled how once he’d built them a tree house down by the River Irwell, and persuaded her to climb up and sit in it. Then he’d dashed off to play with his mates, leaving her stuck up the tree, too afraid to climb down without assistance. Hours later, soaked to the skin from a downpour of rain, she was rescued by Sal who came looking for her. Steve claimed he’d meant to return but forgot. Knowing how he loved to play endless practical jokes and tricks upon her, she’d never entirely forgiven him, refusing to speak to him for months afterwards. They’d fallen out countless times over the years due to her innate caution, while Steve, on the other hand, had always been a bit reckless and impulsive, lively and ruddy-cheeked.

Now his face was drawn and pale with a bleakness to his blue-grey eyes. Out of pity for the pain he was suffering,
their friendship was slowly improving. But not for a moment could she ever feel the same way about him as she did for Alex, who was much more handsome, smart and sweetly polite. Steve would never be anything more to her than an old friend, but at least he was trying to be helpful now.

‘Maybe I should make a polite enquiry, just in case.’

‘Good. I’m sure you’ll find another job, Cathie, assuming you decide you need one.’

She looked at him in surprise. ‘Why would I not?’

‘I heard that Alex will be home soon. You must be looking forward to seeing him again, and may soon be busy raising a family instead.’ He glanced across at little Heather, contentedly asleep in her pram with her thumb in her mouth.

They both fell silent as Cathie considered this point. Was she eager to have children of her own? She hadn’t thought that far ahead, obsessed only with seeing Alex again, as well as caring for Sally’s little one. But a job could well prove to be unnecessary if they married quickly and she fell pregnant. Did she want that to happen? ‘It’s certainly true that I can’t wait see him. It’s been two years or more.’

‘Let’s hope he soon settles into Civvy Street. I found it difficult at first,’ Steve admitted, as he gathered the balloons into a net. ‘Once everyone has welcomed you home by buying you a pint, they tend to forget all about you. Life can feel a bit flat after that, and rather lonely to suddenly find yourself without all the mates you’ve lived and worked
with for years, let alone shared untold horrors.’ He drew in a deep sigh, a frown marking his too thin face. ‘And some of them I’ll never see again.’

Cathie was filled with sympathy as she waited for him to reveal more of his war story, but as always his mouth clammed shut. Could it be that grief overwhelmed him, the pain of remembering being too much to bear, or was he holding back some secret he wished to keep to himself? ‘It must have been very difficult for you, Steve. But I’ll be there for Alex, as I’m sure his family will too.’ Not that she knew anything about his family, never having met them.

‘He’s a lucky man to have you. I was not so fortunate.’

‘Maybe you will be one day.’ Tucking the blanket over the baby’s sprawled chubby body, Cathie decided it was time to change the subject. ‘Will Father Christmas be coming to this charity concert?’

‘I’ve written to invite him,’ Steve replied in all seriousness. ‘It wouldn’t be Christmas without him, would it? He’s promised to call in towards the end, with presents for all the children. There’s a special group coming from Styal, St Patrick’s and other local orphanages.’

Glancing again at Heather, thankful that her niece hadn’t ended up in such a place, she smiled. ‘That’s wonderful. I always feel so sorry for all the poor orphans created by this dratted war.’

Steve gave a grim little nod. ‘Yes indeed. At least we can provide them with a good Christmas party, thanks to the generosity of the Co-op. And a fun concert.’

Before leaving, Cathie called at the office downstairs to ask if by any chance they did have any vacancies, and was politely informed that sadly that was not the case.

‘Hope you didn’t mind my asking, Mr Leeson. Admittedly, I don’t have any experience as a shop assistant, but I’m willing to learn. Should there ever be one, do please let me know.’

‘Of course,’ the manager, said. ‘Keep your eye on our window, Cathie, which is generally where we post vacancies. Although people tend to hang on to their jobs rather a long time these days.’

Over the next few days, having had the idea of being a shop assistant planted in her head, Cathie enquired about work at several other shops too, only to receive the same response. She called in at warehouses and factories, explaining her skills and experience during the war, forced to walk away as heads were shaken. She chose not to apply at the cotton mill, as working with her mother did not appeal.

Only a short time ago they’d been celebrating the end of the war with ticker tape and dancing, street parties, funny hats and flags. Now everyone seemed to have sunk back into a gloomy depression. Except that in two days time she’d be welcoming Alex home, which lifted her heart afresh. Their future together was surely all that truly mattered now?

A
cold north-east wind was buffeting her as Cathie stood anxiously waiting on Victoria station platform, pacing back and forth, and constantly glancing up at the big clock high on the wall. The train must be running late as she seemed to have been standing here for an awful long time, yet she felt more concerned about the coming reunion with Alex than worrying about the cold. Did she properly remember him? How well had she got to know him in the excitement of their love match? Cathie recalled a kind, gentle, handsome man, very polite and caring. Would he still be the same, or might he have suffered some injury that he’d chosen not to mention in the few letters that had managed to get through? More importantly, would he still love her?

Cathie had tried to look her best, dressed in a tailored navy jacket and skirt with a neat pleat down the front, over which she wore a beige raincoat to protect her against the weather. A wide-brimmed red wool hat decorated with a navy hatband sat carefully tilted to one side over her neatly styled hair, a matching handbag dangling on one arm, and
warm red gloves. But what if he remembered her as being far more glamorous and beautiful, instead of homely and ordinary, which was how she saw herself now? If only the weather had been better, then she could have worn a pretty dress.

Just as she’d almost given up hope, a whistle sounded, making her heart bump as if in unison. Then the air was filled with choking steam as the train came puffing slowly along the track. She could barely see the passengers as they hastily disembarked, thanks to the smoke and the crowds filling the platform. Cathie could hear the cries of joy, and the clatter of heels as women ran to fling themselves in the arms of their returning heroes.

Then like a ghost emerging from the mists of the past, she saw a vaguely familiar figure walking smartly towards her. At first sight, Cathie didn’t recognise him as she was accustomed to seeing Alex in uniform, not this dreadful demob suit with trousers that didn’t quite reach his ankles, trilby hat and a greatcoat stripped of its usual army buttons and braid. Seconds later, he was enfolding her tight against his chest, smothering her with kisses. Her heart felt as if it might explode with happiness.

‘Let me look at you.’ Releasing her, Alex stepped back a pace so that his gaze could roam over her, taking in her rosebud mouth, flushed cheeks and sparkling hazel eyes before sliding downwards over her slender figure. ‘Even more beautiful than I remember.’

Glowing with joy, she gave her most bewitching smile.
‘Oh, it’s so good to see you too, Alex, I can’t quite believe you’re here at last.’ She whipped off her gloves and stroked his face as if to prove to herself that he was.

‘I’ve missed you too, darling,’ he said, quickly responding with yet more kisses, his stubbled chin scraping against hers.

‘I’ve got so much to tell you.’

He looked down at her, his chestnut brown eyes darkening with desire. ‘We have a great deal of catching up to do, not simply involving talk,’ he said, chuckling as he slid an exploring hand over her breast. ‘How soon can we be married? I can’t wait too long. I could eat you all up here and now.’

Cathie felt her cheeks grow hot as she gave a little giggle. ‘We can fix a date for the wedding any time you like. But I haven’t even met your parents yet, nor have you met my mother, which you are now about to do. Mam suggested I invite you for Sunday dinner, I do hope you can come?’

‘Not today,’ he said, looking surprised by the suggestion. ‘My mother and father are anxious to have me home. We’ll need to arrange that for some other time.’

‘Oh, of course!’ Even as Cathie agreed, disappointment bit deep in her. But then perhaps she hadn’t been thinking clearly. Naturally, his parents were keen to see their only son again, after all this time away fighting in a war. It was easy to forget that other families were close when her own was not. She also thought with some regret of the expense
of the half shoulder of lamb she’d left roasting in the oven. ‘Can we at least walk some of the way together?’

‘It will be my pleasure.’ Linking her arm in his, he hitched his kitbag on to his other shoulder and they set off to walk along Deansgate.

Cathie felt a little downhearted that, even though she was his fiancée, she had not been included in his plans for his first day home. Surely on such a special occasion she should have been allowed to share it? In all the time they’d been going out together, not once had he thought to invite her to meet his family. Alex lived on St John Street, as his father was a doctor who worked at the local hospital. Unlike where she lived, close to the Potato Wharf district, it was quite a smart area even if it was still in Castlefield. Cathie couldn’t help but wonder if that was the reason.

For now though, she should be simply relieved to see how fit Alex looked, marching as if on parade, straight-backed with his head held high, if unshaven and his expression somewhat stern. All her anxiety and worries had evaporated in seconds on seeing him as, unlike Steve, Alex seemed perfectly normal with no sign of any injuries. After six years of war, being only nineteen when he’d been called up in 1939, he was now a grown man of vast experience. And if there was a slight sense of distance between them, surely that was to be expected after these long years apart.
But it was wonderful that they were together at last. Her future secure.

‘I look forward to you coming some other time, at your convenience. I should warn you in advance that my mother, Rona, is not an easy person, being rather selfish, and very full of herself. She doesn’t believe in sitting still for five minutes. She has ever been obsessed with giving herself a good time, always going off somewhere: to dances, band concerts, pubs or horse racing. Having a bit of fun is how she terms it.’

‘There’s nothing wrong with that,’ Alex said. ‘I dreamed of doing very much the same when I was stuck out in the desert in Egypt.’

‘I’m sure you did,’ Cathie said, filled with remorse for having implied that living a full life was somehow wrong, even if she had only been attempting to explain her self-obsessed mother. ‘And we all had fun when peace was declared. Did you get to celebrate VE Day?’

‘No, I was still overseas,’ he responded grimly.

‘Oh, you poor thing. We went to Albert Square, everywhere ablaze with lights and hordes of people all dancing and singing ‘Roll Out the Barrel’, ‘White Cliffs of Dover’, ‘Bless ‘Em All’, and loads of other popular songs. It was fantastic fun. Manchester was so jam-packed with folk there was no room for traffic, not even the buses could get through. There were flags everywhere, posters saluting the Allies, fireworks going off. There were thanksgiving services at various churches, and the King spoke to us on the
wireless. Oh, it was a wonderful celebration with dozens of street parties held over the next few days. Mam and I attended several, and treated ourselves by opening a tin of peaches.’ Cathie chuckled at the memory, preferring not to mention that they’d both also wept over the fact Sal was not present to share the celebrations with them.

Alex groaned. ‘We missed all of that, but I see us going out quite a bit over the next few months, to the theatre, dancing, concerts, all manner of stuff. Can’t wait to start enjoying life again.’

‘Of course, you deserve to after all you’ve been through,’ she said, feeling a little guilty that they’d been privileged to enjoy the bonfires and parties, and cheer as the blackout curtains were taken down.

Turning right along Quay Street, they walked in silence, Cathie’s mind racing as she wondered whom she could call upon to babysit whenever they did go out. Rona had made her position on the issue very clear. Would Brenda mind the baby for her? Maybe, on the odd occasion, as she was doing today, but Alex sounded as if he wished to go out almost nightly.

And when should she bring up the subject of little Heather?

Remembering what her Aunt Evie had said, Cathie decided the moment wasn’t quite right, as he looked so grim and rather tired. Which was to be expected as he’d only just arrived, and it would take a little time for them to re-establish the closeness they’d once enjoyed.

When they reached the corner of St John Street, he paused. ‘How would you feel about a night out at the Palais, or maybe the Ritz? Going to a dance is how we met, so let’s revisit old times.’

‘Oh, that would be wonderful,’ Cathie agreed, heart racing.

Then, putting his arm about her waist, he gave her a rather chaste little kiss as he smiled down at her. ‘More of this later, eh?’ And after agreeing to meet at the bus stop on Wednesday evening, he turned smartly on his heel and strode away, whistling happily.

Walking home alone, feeling just a little flat as this was not at all how she’d expected their first day together to be, Cathie deliberately turned her mind to what she would wear for the dance. It was, after all, something to look forward to.

‘How did it go?’ Brenda asked, when Cathie called to collect Heather following a Sunday dinner with her mother that had been even more dull and boring than usual. ‘Did Alex look as you remembered?’

‘Not quite, I almost didn’t recognise him as he’s no longer a smart soldier, a bit unshaven and shabby-looking, although he still marches like one. But he seems fit and well, which is all that really matters, and he still likes kissing me,’ Cathie added with a shy giggle.

‘Wonderful, and how did he react to the news about this little one?’

Cathie ruefully explained how she hadn’t found the courage to tell him, and how his plans for the day had not included her. She was struggling to keep her emotions in check, feeling a slight sense of rejection. ‘He didn’t seem too keen to spend his first day home with me. It was as if we’d just met and were strangers, not engaged at all. A really weird feeling.’

‘That’s not so unusual, darling. It must feel a bit odd to be back in Civvy Street. Another friend of mine said her husband went to the pub first, and was pretty drunk by the time he arrived home, somewhat later than expected. She was not pleased, but he claimed he needed to celebrate peace at last, as he’d missed all the street parties.’

‘I dare say you’re right, Brenda. Alex too is upset at missing out on the celebrations, and his parents haven’t seen him for a long time either, so his family should come first.’

‘Parents can be very controlling,’ Brenda sadly remarked as she slipped Heather’s chubby arms into her matinee jacket. ‘And his father, Doctor Ryman, does have a reputation for being rather grand. Some men tend to be that way. You should see how my brother-in-law behaves, as if he has the right to own the world. He goes on and on at me, constantly nagging and insisting I do whatever stuff he demands.’

‘What sort of stuff?’

‘Oh, legal stuff in the main. He’s so arrogant, but then
my late husband did inherit the family estate, now in his brother’s hands. Anyway, enough of my stupid problems. I’m sure Alex will make it up to you soon,’ she said, giving Cathie a warm hug.

‘Oh, I’m sure he will,’ Cathie agreed, instantly brightening as she explained about the Ritz. ‘Can’t wait for Wednesday to come. Now what on earth can I wear?’