Home Sweet Home (5 page)

“What about being in an office all day? Has that taken any getting used to?”

“You know, I thought I’d be stuck behind the computer more. But I’m dealing with open-space issues so often, I’ve got to keep a pair of mud boots in my truck. Your grandfather was mayor. Did he ever talk much about it to you?”

“I was too little to talk town politics. But I do have vague memories of his coming home looking worn-out.”

Nate laughed at the funny little face she made when she was talking about her grandfather. From what Nate could remember, Arthur Powell had been a really easygoing guy, the perfect match for Evelyn who could be, well, spunky at times.

“Probably all the damn meetings.”

“I know all about those,” she joked back. “But you enjoy it, don’t you?”

“I wanted to find a way to pay everyone back for what they did for me and my sister after my parents died. And I’ve always loved this town. I’ve always figured that if you love something enough, there’s got to be a way to make it a priority.”

Andi looked away and shifted slightly in her seat, and he felt like a jerk for saying all of that.

She was trying to keep things light. He had no reason to start hitting below the belt. His mother’s death, his father’s suicide, Andi leaving had all happened so long ago.

He was over it. All of it. And his life was great. He had everything he wanted, everything but the right woman beside him. He would find her eventually. But only if he made sure to remember that this woman sitting across the booth from him could never be that woman.

Still, remembering didn’t mean he couldn’t still feel Andi’s pain, that he couldn’t see the way she’d flinched when Henry had brought up her father.

“I’m sorry about your father, Andi. I know how much you loved him.”

“I—” She swallowed hard. “He—”

God, he wanted to take her in his arms, wanted to hold her and tell her that if anyone understood what she was going through, he did. But he couldn’t do that.

Once they’d been best friends. Lovers.

Now they were little better than strangers.

Seeing how close she was to crying—and knowing how much she’d hate it if she cried in front of him—he swiftly shifted back to the small talk they’d been making.

“How’s life in the city, Andi?”

“The city is good.”

“You’re a management consultant, right? How do you like it?”

“I love my job. Especially when I’ve got a new project to work on.”

“Sounds exciting. Tell me about it.”

She took a sip of her drink before answering, giving him enough time to wonder how they had come to this, two strangers sitting in a bar together?

All those years he’d loved her, Nate had never thought things would end this way.

But they had.

A
ndi had come here tonight planning to tell Nate all about the Klein Group. She had the initial drawings and plans in her bag, but that was before she’d realized things were going to cross over into memories and emotions. She couldn’t shake the thought that her well-thought-out plans had backfired a little. More than a little, actually.

It seemed strange to turn the conversation over to business now. And the truth was, she’d only just realized—or rather, let herself acknowledge—how starved she’d been for information about Nate. She’d never let herself google him, had only heard that he was mayor through her mother and grandmother during one of the times she wasn’t able to steer the conversation away from Emerald Lake.

And then there was the fact that she’d wanted to throw herself in his arms and sob her eyes out about her father.

But she couldn’t. All she could do was answer his question—and try to pretend that her heart wasn’t breaking all over again at the realization of just how wide the chasm was between two people who had once meant everything to each other.

Still despite his clear interest in her work and the fact that he’d given her the perfect lead-in, she had a moment of hesitation. No, it was more like a bad premonition that this whole condo on Emerald Lake thing was a bad idea, that it had been a bad idea from the moment the words “I know the perfect place” had burst from her mouth at the meeting on Wednesday.

“You don’t want to hear about my work, Nate. We don’t have to talk about it. Not tonight.”

Her boss was going to kill her, but Andi needed more time, needed things to be more comfortable, more normal—and way less emotional—with Nate before she launched into her sales pitch.

“Andi, I’ve wondered about what you’ve been doing for ten years.”

Her breath caught in her throat. Not just because she wasn’t the only one who had been wondering from a distance, but because she was seeing something in his eyes she hadn’t thought to ever see again.

Not just curiosity. Not just simple interest in her and her life.

No, what had her breath coming in fits and starts was the fact that he was looking at her like he cared. Really and truly cared.

“Tell me about your job. Please.”

“I’ve worked with my client, the Klein Group, for a couple of years,” she began slowly. “They’re great with their employees, both in terms of benefits and corporate culture; plus they’re almost completely green.”

“And here I was thinking all big companies cared about was ripping off the little guy.”

She thought he was teasing, was almost sure of it, but all of her sensors were off tonight, spinning around wildly inside her brain and body.

And heart.

“Not all of them,” she tried to joke back.

Now. She had to tell him about the condos now; otherwise it would be like lying to him.

And really, why was she worrying? How could he possibly complain when the project was so perfect for the town, when there were so many obvious benefits for the townspeople?

Andi reached into her bag, realizing her hands were sweating against the soft leather as she fumbled for her proposal. “Actually, I have something I want to show you.”

“What’s that?”

She pulled out the papers, slid them out across the table. “The Klein Group would like to build beautiful new residences here where the old carousel sits.”

Everything about the moment—the way Nate stared unblinkingly at the plans, the fact that she could hear each and every one of her breaths over the music playing on the jukebox—told her she was saying the wrong thing the wrong way.

It was just that nothing about today had gone as it should have. Her grandmother shouldn’t have been coughing. Andi shouldn’t have spent the day running Lake Yarns. And she and Nate shouldn’t have been sitting in the Tavern with a huge black cloud of memories hanging over them.

Unfortunately now that she had opened the door, it was too late to shut it. Way too late to go back to that moment when he’d been looking at her like she still meant something to him.

Trying not to let her hand shake, she moved a finger across a drawing. “They’d also like to put in a new public baunch loat.”
Oh god, what had she just said?
“I mean a new public boat launch.”

Nate was dangerously silent, and she felt her skin go hot all over.

Oh no, why hadn’t she drawn out the pleasantries a bit more, asked him more about his sister, about everyone in town before jumping straight into business?

But small talk wasn’t her way. She’d always believed in being direct with people rather than trying to charm them into anything.

Perhaps,
she thought as Nate’s silence continued,
a little more charm, a bit of friendly banter wouldn’t have been out of place in this discussion.

Using every ounce of poise she had to continue her pitch, Andi said, “These are only preliminary sketches. I plan to work closely with their architects and designers to make sure everything fits in smoothly with the classic Adirondack architectural styles and the surrounding buildings on Main Street.”

“Now the truth comes out.”

There was none of the warmth that had crept into his voice anymore.

“I knew there had to be an ulterior motive here somewhere. Ten years have gone by, and you haven’t wanted to catch up on old times. I’m such an idiot. I should have known there had to be a reason you wanted to get together now. You knew I could never say no to you. Hell, you probably thought you were going to walk in here and charm me into rubber-stamping these plans, didn’t you?”

The breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding whooshed out of her as if he’d sucker punched her in the gut.

Because he just had.

“No! God, no!” She couldn’t believe he’d said that to her, that he was accusing her of trying to use an old relationship to suit her own purposes. Not wanting to let herself believe that he was at all right, either, she said, “How can you even think that about me?”

His jaw was tight, and his eyes narrowed in anger. She knew that look, had never been able to forget it when that was her very last memory of Nate, burned forever into the back of her mind.

“What the hell am I supposed to think, Andi? You come in here looking like that—”

“Looking like what?” She gestured down at her simple black dress still covered in yarn. She hadn’t had time to go home and clean up, to get even the slightest bit pretty. She couldn’t have dressed less provocatively.

“—All of your curves on display in that dress, and those high heels that make your legs look a hundred miles long to mess with my mind and distract me when you start saying you want to clear up things from the past—”

“I wasn’t trying to distract you!”

“—And then you hit me with”—he moved his hand in the direction of the drawings, making them flutter and scatter across the old wooden table top—“this garbage.”

The word
garbage
was a gauntlet that had her anger finally rising to meet his. “My project isn’t garbage, Nate.”

Each word came from between her teeth, but even though she was seeing red, she knew this wasn’t the way to get him to see reason. She needed to calm down. They both did.

“Look, why don’t you take these with you tonight? We can talk more tomorrow after you’ve read through my entire plan.”

He shot a disgusted glance at her presentation. “I’ve already seen enough.” He threw some money down on the table as a tip. “Good to finally
catch up on old times
with you, Andi.”

Forgetting all about the importance of never, ever touching him again if she wanted to hold onto what was left of her sanity, she grabbed his arm as he got up to leave.

Heat scalded her palm, searing between his skin and her hand. He stared down at her hand on his arm, a muscle jumping in his jaw.

“Please, Nate, at least hear me out. I don’t want you leaving now making assumptions. Just give me five more minutes.” She was panting as if she’d just sprinted around a track. There just wasn’t enough oxygen in the room anymore, barely enough to say, “Please just let me explain.”

Her entire career rested on the success of this project. She couldn’t fail now. Especially not with Nate, not when her relationship with him was already her biggest failure to date.

Finally, thank god, he shifted back into his seat. “I’m listening.”

“I was looking at some pictures my mom had sent on my phone when I realized just what an incredible spot the carousel is sitting in. No one even uses it anymore. I’ll bet parents are afraid to let their kids goof around on it like we used to because they don’t want them to get hurt on a shard of metal or risk the chance that it might collapse altogether. But the land it’s on is the perfect spot for families who want their children to know what it’s like to grow up playing on the beach and fishing in the lake. It’s the perfect spot for couples who are finally ready to relax and enjoy their retirement. That’s why I pitched it to the Klein Group.”

“Hold on a minute. Are you telling me this was completely your idea? That the company didn’t just bring you in because they knew you had ties here?”

The way he said “you had ties here” rankled. She’d grown up here, too. Emerald Lake was her hometown. Her family went back generations.

“Of course, it was my idea,” she said, realizing too late that she was snapping at him. “That carousel is sitting on prime waterfront real estate. If it’s not me coming in here with this company to build, it’s going to be someone else. It might not be for a few years, but I guarantee you it’s going to happen.”

“There are plenty of other towns that would welcome this kind of development. Go there.”

“I can’t. It has to be here.”

“Why?”

She shook her head, knowing she couldn’t tell him how close she’d been to being tossed out on her ass, even after ten years of working it off for Marks & Banks. She couldn’t tell him that failure was so close for once that she could almost taste it. She was only as good as her last deal. She might have been screwing up since her father’s death, but she still knew how to read a client. She’d sold the hell out of Emerald Lake, and now that was what they wanted. Not some substitute lake town down Route 8.

“You won’t understand, Nate. It has to be here. It has to be.”

“You just don’t get it, do you, Andi?”

“Tell me your concerns, Nate, and I’ll address them.”

“I’m not one of your clients that you can wow with a PowerPoint presentation,” he said, his words hard. Bitter. “You want to know what my biggest concern is?”

She didn’t like the tone of his voice and knew she wouldn’t like what was coming any better. But she was the one who’d insisted they talk about the project tonight.

She had to say, “Yes.”

“You’re not from here anymore.” As she worked to process his horrible words, he hit her with, “Coming to me with this crap makes me think you were never from here.”

Andi felt as if he’d slapped her across the face and couldn’t stop herself from lashing back at him.

“Well, you’re so stuck here that you don’t see what could happen to this town. But I do. So if you don’t mind my being just as blunt, if you’re not careful, your antiquated rules and policies will drive companies out of Emerald Lake. Businesses won’t be able to survive here, not without a chance to make some money.”

His face was stubborn. But still heartbreakingly beautiful.

Why did they have to be having this conversation? Why did they have to be at each other’s throats?

It wasn’t what she wanted. Not at all.

“People who want to stay, stay,” he insisted. “If you’re tough enough, you find a way to make it work. And you know you’ve earned the right to be here.”

There was a subtext here, she was sure of it, that went something like,
If you’d really loved me, you would have stayed.

Working to keep her focus on their debate over the condos rather than the emotions whipping around them, Andi said, “Are you even listening to yourself? Saying how tough you have to be to stay. Instead of celebrating how hard it is to stay afloat in Emerald Lake, why don’t you try a little harder to make it easier for the people who elected you mayor?”

“One building leads to more, leads to problems you can’t even begin to foresee. What I know for sure is that the people who stay are the ones who really love Emerald Lake, just the way it is. They want to be able to swim in the lake, to know that it’s clean and that too many boats and too many tourists haven’t polluted it. They want to be able to hike in these mountains without facing bald hills logged to make a couple bucks.”

“Do you really think I’d bring in a company that would pollute the water or destroy the forests?”

“Everything we do has consequences, Andi. Even if they’re unintended.”

She couldn’t argue with him about consequences. Not when one simple meeting with him was spinning off into consequences, one after the other.

“You want promises. I’ll give them to you. I’ll make sure the building is done by local people. That the money coming into Emerald Lake stays here. And that the building process is totally green.”

“I know all about your promises, Andi. Don’t kid yourself. This is all about your career.”

She gasped, actually sucked in a mouthful of air and choked on it. But even as her heart felt like it was drowning, her brain still tried to stay above the waterline.

“Wouldn’t you rather have somebody who actually cares about Emerald Lake be involved?”

“You’re right about that at least. I’d like to be dealing with someone who cares about this town, someone who cares about more than just her latest deal.”

Working even harder to push down the hurt building up inside of her, to tell herself he couldn’t really mean any of the horrible things he was saying, she said, “I’m not going to deny these condos are a good career move, but they’re also for the town. My father always wished more people knew about Emerald Lake. At the end of the day, he supposed there wasn’t enough here to bring them in. These small changes could be enough.”