Authors: Susan X Meagher
“Oh, I am so screwed,” she moaned. “So seriously screwed.”
***
The day warmed up slowly, and by the time they’d had lunch a few of them were making noises about going into the water. Jill knew that would be a short excursion, since none of her friends were fond of cold water. But she was game. To get ready for the plunge, she chose to go for a walk in the woods, hoping to build up a sweat. Then the cold water would be a relief rather than torture.
The path was a good one, at least two feet wide and fairly level. She’d loved running in the woods when she was younger, and today seemed like a good day to give it another go. Starting off slow, she reached a reasonable pace and ran carefully for about a quarter mile. By then she was getting a good stride and she loosened up a bit, letting her feet kick up behind her as she picked up the pace.
It was damned nice to float along through the trees, making her feel like a kid again as she filled her lungs with the fresh, earthy scents. She kept increasing her pace, until she was running near her capacity, flying down the trail as she headed for home, her feet padding softly along the well-trod path. As she saw the road up ahead, she slowed and finally stopped, bending over to grab the hems of her shorts as she gasped for breath.
Damn, that felt good. Every part of her body working together to propel her along, effectively blowing out a little more of her lingering anxieties. She stood and stretched for a few minutes, just to keep everything loose. Then she started back down the road, where she pulled her phone out to check her e-mail. The signal wasn’t good enough, and she started to put it back into her pocket, but she went to her photos and looked at the few she’d taken of Lizzie. Yes, she was acting like a twelve-year-old with a crush, but she had such a damned need to see her face that she couldn’t stop herself. A couple from the barbecue, one of Lizzie with the group, which didn’t give Jill enough detail to linger over, then one of her playing with the kids. That one was better, but also didn’t show her face well enough. The photo that caught Jill’s attention was the one she’d taken of them together, after they’d gone dancing. They both looked a little bedraggled, but that’s not what she noticed. It was how happy they looked. Lizzie’s head leaned towards hers, her smile so bright she seemed giddy. Jill had to admit they didn’t look like a decade separated them. When she was with Lizzie she felt like she was a kid again. Not thirty. More like she’d felt when she was a teenager. When she was full of plans and dreams and an unbridled optimism for the future. As she put the phone back into her pocket, she forced herself to be honest. How often did you meet someone who helped you tap into the fountain of youth? And how stupid would it be to turn and run just because of some unsubstantiated fears? The answers appeared in her mind as though they were written in stone. Not very, and not very.
***
Jill had a good excuse for not writing or calling or texting during her vacation. Lizzie knew cell service was spotty at best. But at the end of her two weeks, as Jill drove back to Burlington, she was out of excuses.
After she arrived home, she spent a long time trying to get back into the boys’ good graces, resorting to giving them a couple of their favorite treats to hasten the process. She hadn’t told the cat sitters where she kept the good stuff, reasoning that she had to reserve it for herself, giving her a god-like status. If just anyone could offer a treat, she’d lose her edge.
It was the first of August, it was warm, and the lake had been at a reliable seventy degrees for almost ten days. Maybe Lizzie would like to hang out on the water. Her hands were shaking when she texted her.
“I’m back home. Heading for the lake. Join me?”
Jill went to pull her swimsuit from her bag and get a towel and her e-reader. When she was putting her things in a tote bag, Lizzie wrote back.
“Boo! I’m working today and tomorrow. Jealous!”
Hating to admit how relieved she was, Jill texted back. “Maybe next weekend?”
“Going home. Chris’ birthday.”
As Jill was replying, another text appeared. “Want to go with me?”
Luckily, she had a ready excuse. “Got plans for Friday, so I can’t.” She let that one fly, then started to feel bad about being so unavailable. “Hate to not see you before our birthday bash. Any other time free?”
“I’ll call if I get a night off—which I might not. Things are crazy!”
“Have fun and try not to think of me thoroughly enjoying myself today.”
Lizzie replied with the emoji of a person sticking his tongue out. Jill put her phone in her pocket and headed out, uncomfortably relieved at not having to see Lizzie yet. She had two weeks to get this sorted out. Although why two weeks would help much was a question she couldn’t answer.
On Lizzie’s actual birthday,
Jill sent thirty roses, six of each of the five colors the florist had in stock. She wasn’t comfortable sending all red ones, not at all sure they were going to be lovers, and yellow was clearly for friendship, something she also wasn’t sure would happen. If she turned her down, Lizzie might well tell her to take a hike. A colorful bouquet seemed the best way to split the difference. What she was trying to do was show she took note of Lizzie’s significant birthday, without making a definite claim on her heart.
Lizzie got the flowers, and the meaning. Late that night, she texted Jill with a simple message. “My non-denominational bouquet is gorgeous!”
It was going to be tough dating a woman smarter and quicker than she was.
If
they dated.
The next morning, Lizzie texted from the driveway. Jill had been up for a while, playing with her hair until she finally made up her mind to just stick it into a ponytail. Filled with indecision, she changed her shirt a couple of times, finally settling on a print that made her eyes look super blue. Her dark blue shorts were faded from wear, but she thought that made them look kinda cool. As she primped in the mirror by the front door, the horn honked, making her flinch.
She dashed down the steps, her beach tote banging against her leg. Towel, sunblock, water, a long-sleeved T-shirt for sun protection, and a comb were all she carried. If the day went well, she wouldn’t need her e-reader.
After opening the car door and tossing her bag in the back, Jill sat and put her seatbelt on. “You’re looking particularly nice today,” she said, eyeing Lizzie’s oversized, white, man-tailored shirt and jeans that looked like they had some room to breathe. “How does it feel to be thirty?”
“You tell me,” she said, a smirk firmly settled on her face. “You’ve been at this for ten years. I’m a newby.”
“But still a smart-aleck. That hasn’t changed.”
“Odds are good that it won’t.” She put the car in reverse and backed out of the drive. “I really did love the flowers you sent. They were the nicest present I got—by a mile.”
“My pleasure. I love buying flowers, even though I drive my local guy nuts. I want to see the exact stems he’s going to use, which, I’m told, no one else does.”
“Well, you did a good job. Each one’s perfect. But there were so many of them!” Her laugh sounded relaxed and easy, making Jill loosen up a little.
“It only gets worse,” she said. “So… Tell me the details. What did you do for your big day?”
“Not much,” she said, blithely. “Some of my work friends took me out for a drink, but I was home by ten. I guess that’s my new curfew, now that I’m old.”
“No party?” Jill stared at her. She’d been sure Lizzie had something big planned.
“Nope. My mom offered to have one for me. But I was looking forward to doing this today. I kinda shared Chris’ last weekend.”
“Well, damn, Lizzie, I would have happily taken you out to dinner. No!” she amended. “We could have gone to…New York or Boston or something to look at museums. That’s your thing, right?”
“Calm down,” Lizzie teased. “I had a fine evening. Surviving for thirty years isn’t much of an accomplishment.”
“But you said you were kinda freaked out by this birthday. I would have done anything to make it special for you.” She sounded overly earnest even to her own ears.
“That matters as much as actually going somewhere. And so much cheaper. Hey, I got tickets to the Sox two weeks from today. Are you in?”
“Sounds great. I think I’m free.” She pulled her phone out and checked it. “Yep. What’s the plan?”
Lizzie gave her a quick glance. “I’ll get the hotel if you’ll drive. We could take my dad’s car, but your trunk is bigger and he’s got a lot of stuff he has to carry.”
“I’m happy to drive, but you don’t have to get my hotel room.”
“It’s no big deal. I’ll need two rooms anyway, so I’ll just get one of them with two beds.” She shot Jill a pointed look. “Are you cool with that?”
Jill gulped, but nodded.
Great.
She’d look like a prima donna if she demanded her own room. And it would look silly to Janet and Mike if she did. Everyone expected single women to share expensive hotel rooms.
Just great.
She’d already spent one sleepless night trying not to drool over Lizzie. Another one was coming right up.
They headed down Pine, with Lizzie making quick decisions about their route.
“Which marina are we heading to?” Jill asked. “We’re still going out on a boat, right?”
“Wrong.” As she turned onto Queen City, she seemed slightly distracted. “That fell through. But it’s a gorgeous day, and we’re going to be in the water. Good enough?”
“Sounds perfect. Should we stop for something to eat?”
“It’s all taken care of. I’m organized.” She turned to show a proud smile. “Now that I’m old, I get up super early.”
There was only one possibility for their destination. “We’re going to Red Rocks?”
“Yeah. I love it there.”
“I do too.” She’d gone to the surprisingly woodsy urban park dozens of times, and while she always enjoyed it, she’d been looking forward to something a little more exciting for their joint birthday celebration. But she wasn’t about to let her disappointment show. Lizzie had planned the day, and Jill had confidence they’d make the best out of any spot she’d chosen.
They were early enough to fit into the tiny parking lot close to the beach, but Lizzie stayed outside, taking one of the spots on the street. “They make you leave at seven if you’re in there,” she explained. “Sometimes I’m not ready to leave that early.”
Jill smiled at the cute way she said that. Lizzie wasn’t the kind to flaunt a rule, she simply figured out ways to get what she wanted without having to.
Lizzie had a season pass, and she whipped out ten bucks with a flourish to buy one for Jill. “I can’t believe you haven’t been here yet this summer. Now you have no excuse.”
Jill had to shove her hands into her pockets to stop them from trying to pay Lizzie back. But that was just rude. “Thanks,” she said. “I promise I’ll come every day I can get away.”
They walked along a path, leading to a very narrow stretch of beach. It wasn’t very long, maybe a tenth of a mile, but it was darned beachy for a lake right on the shores of the largest city in Vermont.
“I guess I should have asked if you liked lying in the sun,” Lizzie said as she dropped her bag onto the sand.
“I do. I’m surprised you do, though. Mark always said sun was the Davis family kryptonite.” She unbuttoned her shirt, and started to fold it neatly. Then Lizzie did the same, slowly revealing a luscious body that made Jill’s mouth gape open. It was like watching one of those commercials that pointedly tried to be incendiary, with a gorgeous model peeling off her clothes in slow motion.
“I didn’t get Davis skin. Thank god. My mom’s half Italian, you know.”
Jill knew words were coming out of Lizzie’s mouth, and that she was supposed to respond, but she just sank to her towel, trying not to stare.
She’d known Lizzie was thin from the skin-tight jeans she wore. But in her navy blue and white, polka-dot bikini, she didn’t look skinny at all. Her womanly curves were rounded and soft, the kind of curves you wanted to bury your face into. But there was a solid muscular strength under that smooth flesh that made Jill see stars.
Lizzie’s midsection was remarkably toned, and not just because she was young. Jill had never had abs you could see, and she’d been thin her whole life. No, Lizzie worked for those babies. Doing what? Jill had no idea, but she wanted to see her do whatever it was right that minute.
As Lizzie bent over to pick up her bag, all of her toned muscles tensed, making a few of them noticeably pop. Jill blinked, knowing she looked like she’d been hit on the head, but she was unable to make a lucid comment.
Lizzie plopped down next to her, her actions graceful and smooth.
“I sprayed sunblock on before I got dressed. Nothing worse than getting a burn here,” she said, sliding a finger down the flesh at the edge of her top. There was nothing particularly lascivious about a woman touching her chest, but Jill had so thoroughly convinced herself it was wrong to look that it became much more tempting. Focusing on the lake, she tried to organize her thoughts.
In her head, Lizzie looked like a bunch of supermodels all formed together into one perfect woman. But she knew that wasn’t true. It was the way she was beginning to feel about her that made her so stunningly attractive. She just had to remind herself of that. To get a little distance between her feelings and reality.
“Do you need sunblock?” Lizzie asked, shaking the tube in front of Jill’s face.
She realized she still had her shorts on, and Jill got up and removed them, placing them on top of her blouse. “Uhm…” There was a question on the table, but she couldn’t, for the life of her, recall what it was.
“Sunblock?” Lizzie asked, now smirking.
“Got some,” she declared, proud of herself for remembering. She pulled it out and sprayed it on, after making sure she was downwind.
“Need help rubbing it in?” Lizzie’s eyes were roaming up and down her body, making Jill suck in her stomach to try to look close to the perfection that was Lizzie.