Honey on Your Mind (31 page)

From there I did five more interviews without a hitch, including a grouchy old man who wanted to thank his grown children for putting up with him, a thirty-something English teacher who was proud of herself for finally having begun writing the novel she’d been thinking about for years, and a young married couple who had recently decided to adopt. As each of them walked away, they
seemed happier than when they’d approached me, and I hoped my message would resonate with those watching at home too.

Before I knew it, it was time to wrap up the segment.

I smiled at the camera. “So there you have it, my friends. New Year’s Eve is a great time to think about the
future
, but I don’t want us to forget to appreciate what we have
now
. So celebrate the good things while you have them, and don’t forget to tell the people in your life that you love them.”

I’d planned to keep the summation short and sweet, but suddenly something happened. It was like I’d lost control of my own voice.

“Wendy, before I turn it back to you, I’d like to say something to the person in my life who is…well…who is always on
my
mind.”

I moved the microphone from one hand to the other, squeezing it tightly.

“I’m not going to say your name, but you know who are. Even though I may act a little frazzled sometimes, I hope you know…I hope you understand…that no matter how long our future is, whether it ends in a week, in a month, in a year, or
never
, I hope you know how much I love you
now
. No matter what happens tomorrow, I will always be grateful for having had you in my life today.”

I laughed a bit awkwardly and smiled into the camera.
What did I just do?

“Happy New Year, everyone. I hope this little personal over-sharing episode of mine encourages you to let those people who are on
your
mind know what they mean to you. Wendy, back to you.” I kept smiling and waited for the cameraman’s signal.

The cameraman held his hands out wide, then slowly brought them together, signaling that I was done.

“All clear,” he said.

I dropped the microphone to my side and immediately made a face. “Was that awful?” What had come over me at the end? Why had I done that?

He shook his head. “I thought it was great. I’m sure Wendy did too. That’s the sort of thing her audience loves.”

“Really?”

He took off his headset. “Definitely. Good job. Now you look like you need a celebratory drink.”

I laughed weakly. “Is it that obvious?”

He pointed to his left. “A bunch of us are heading over to The Perfect Pint on Forty-Fifth after we break down the equipment. Want to join us?” It was only eleven o’clock, but our part of the evening was done.

“Sure, sounds good. I’m freezing, and I could definitely use a pint, perfect or otherwise.”

As I handed him the microphone, I felt a few snowflakes land on my nose.

• • •

The snow kept falling, but the show went on. An hour later, we watched—warm, inside and in front of an enormous television—the famous ball drop. The blissful crowd on TV celebrated in a white haze, seemingly undeterred by the weather.

I shook my head. “People are crazy. It’s
freezing
out there!” I was sitting next to Ben on a barstool, looking up at the TV.

“You got that right. Cheers.” He held up his glass to mine. “Happy New Year, Waverly. Here’s to drinking indoors.”

“Happy New Year, Ben.” I clinked my glass against his. “It’s been great working with you. Are you even old enough to drink? Or should I say to drink
legally?
”

He laughed. “Just barely, but I’m legal. Did you hear I’m going back to school in a few weeks?”

I raised my eyebrows. “Grad school?”

He shook his head. “Undergrad. I still have about a year left. I took a semester off for this internship, but I think I’ve decided that daytime TV isn’t for me.”

“Let me guess. You want to go work for a tech start-up?”

He looked shyly at the floor. “How did you know?”

I smiled. “I get the feeling that
Love, Wendy
isn’t really your cup of tea. I’m guessing your parents set up this internship?”

“How did you know?”

I shrugged. “Just a feeling.”

“I’ve always done pretty much what they want me to do, but I think it’s time for me to strike out on my own a bit, see what the future holds for me, you know?”

I smiled. “Believe me, I know.”

Scotty showed up at twelve thirty, weaving through the crowd and switching places with Ben, who wandered off in search of pizza.

“Waverly, love, I heard it went great.”

“You did?”

He nodded. “Indeed I did. Well done, my dear.”

I frowned. “I got a little emotional at the end. It was unexpected, and I think I sort of made a fool of myself.”

“Ah, shush, people love emotional. Now what can I get you to drink?”

I held my hand over my glass. “I’m good, thanks. I have a big day tomorrow.”

“A big day on New Year’s Day? Who makes plans for New Year’s Day other than to recover from New Year’s Eve?”

I forced a smile, but all I could think about was Jake and the conversation I was dreading.

“Kitten, are you OK?” Scotty gave me a serious look.”

“I’m fine.”
Please don’t make me talk about this.

“Are you sure? You don’t seem like yourself.”

I was afraid I would start crying if I opened that door, so I changed the subject. “Where’s Tad?”

He held eye contact for a moment, then let it go and looked at his watch. “He should be home by now. We left the last party right after midnight, and he dashed for a cab before the masses set in. Tad
hates
getting stuck on the streets after midnight on New Year’s Eve. He likens it to being at Walmart during a half-off special on mayonnaise.”

I laughed, and then glanced toward the door. “I hadn’t thought of that. If I can’t find a taxi, I guess I’ll have to take the subway back to Brooklyn.”

“Ah, look at you, still taking the subway. Your star is on the rise, my princess. Soon you may be too popular to take public transportation.”

I laughed. “I’ll believe
that
when I see it. As far as I can tell, ninety-nine point nine percent of people who have ever seen me on TV live far outside of New York City. And that’s a conservative estimate.”

He touched a finger to my nose. “Touché.”

“Speaking of people
outside
New York City, I wonder what some of them are up to.” I pulled out my phone to check my text messages. I’d sent Jake a note earlier, but he hadn’t replied yet. If Scotty noticed the disappointment on my face, he didn’t let on. He waited until I put my phone away to speak.

“So, sweetheart, I have some news.”

I raised my eyebrows. “News?”

He smiled.

“About the show?”

He shook his head.

“Good news?”

He nodded.

“Does it involve me?”

He shook his head.

“Well? Are you going to just leave me hanging?”

He leaned in close and whispered into my ear. “I’m going to propose to Tad tomorrow.”

My eyes got big. “No way. For real? That’s wonderful!”

He grinned. “I know. Can you believe it? Me? I never thought I’d see the day.”

“I never thought I’d see the day either.”

“I just hope he says yes.”

I pushed him on the shoulder. “Please. You know he will. He’s completely smitten.”

He laughed. “OK, you’re right. I know he will. But still, I’m really nervous. And you know me, I
never
get nervous.”

“See? You
do
have plans tomorrow.”

“Ha. I guess you’re right.”

I pointed at him. “
Important
plans, I might add. I’m thrilled for you, Scotty.”

“Thank you, kitten. I’m pretty thrilled too. Here’s to new beginnings.” He lifted his glass to mine.

“To new beginnings.” I clinked my glass against his and could only hope his new beginning with Tad didn’t coincide with the ending of Jake and me.

Scotty excused himself to use the restroom, and as soon as he was gone, I checked my phone again to see if Jake had replied yet.

This time he had:

Happy New Year to you too. Party fun but packed. See u tomorrow.

I studied the message for a few moments before tossing my phone back in my purse.

Ugh
.

I could read the words, but nothing in between.

• • •

When it finally stopped snowing an hour or so later, we all streamed out of the bar and scattered every which way in a mad dash to find a cab. As I scanned the taxi-free streets, I was immediately jealous of Tad, cozy and warm at home.

Damn him for being so smart
.

I wandered for a few blocks and was nearly back to the NBC building before finally spotting some empty cabs idling down the street. I quickened my step, and as I approached them, I saw two women doing the same thing from the other direction, about thirty feet away from me. They were holding hands and giggling, and not in a platonic way.

I froze in my tracks.

I watched them for a few moments, and then they hailed a cab and got in together.

I still didn’t move as the taxi slowly pulled away from the curb.

One of the women was Tanya, the makeup artist.

The other woman was Wendy.

When I woke up the next morning, I had so much on my mind that watching the
Love, Wendy
show from the night before wasn’t even on the list. I put on a pot of coffee, then sat on the couch in my pajamas and tried to process it all.

Wendy and…Tanya?

I couldn’t shake the image of the two of them getting into that cab together.
Wendy is gay? Huh?

It didn’t make any sense. From the moment I’d met her, she’d bragged about having been with the same guy since high school, her wonderful
huuusband,
Gary.

The same man who was having an affair with Paige.

What?

I thought of that night I’d caught Wendy drinking in the conference room. What exactly had she said? Something about her marriage being a fraud? About another woman getting in the way?

I’d assumed she was talking about Paige, but apparently, I was wrong.

I covered my eyes with my hands.

She was talking about Tanya.

I stood up and poured myself a cup of coffee, doctoring it with half-and-half and sugar.

Wendy and Gary clearly had a troubled marriage, but it had never occurred to me that
Wendy
was the one rocking the boat.

I sat back on the couch and leaned into the cushion.
Does anyone else know?

Suddenly, I sat up straight.

Scotty knows.

I thought of all the times Wendy had snapped at him, or said something critical for no apparent reason. He always let it roll off his back, which I admired. I’d just assumed she was homophobic.

That’s why she is so mean to him.
Scotty was living in the open about something she was clearly trying to hide. Did she resent him? Envy him? Was she projecting her own internal struggle onto him? I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to live like that. To live, as Wendy herself had told me, a lie.

That’s why Scotty cuts her slack
.
He knows what she’s dealing with
.

Scotty Ryan. Boss, friend, confidant, all-around stud, was also a world-class diplomat. They sure threw away the mold when they made that one.

• • •

At quarter to eleven, I left my apartment and walked over to the new office in Dumbo. I still hadn’t connected with Paige and could only hope she would show up. The streets were practically deserted, the crisp air quiet and peaceful. Just as I reached Cadman Plaza Park, it started snowing again, so I pulled an umbrella out of my purse and opened it. I loved walking in the snow with an umbrella. It was one of those things I’d never even known that people
did
on the East Coast when I lived in San Francisco. Now it made me feel like a smart New Yorker. Like part of the club.

Fifteen minutes later, I arrived at the lobby of our building. I looked up at the number for a moment, then pulled off a glove and dug around in my purse for the keys. I hiked up to the third floor and unlocked the door to the new office of Waverly’s Honey Shop.

It was small, but it was bright, open and inviting, with a hardwood floor, large windows, and freshly painted white walls. A small conference table sat in the center of the room with four chairs around it.

I took a seat and waited.

• • •

At 11:13, Paige walked through the door.

“Happy New Year,” she said with a nervous smile. Even in the most awkward of situations, Paige was always kind. “Sorry I’m late.”

I stood up and ran over to her, throwing my arms around her. “I’m so glad you came. I’m so sorry, Paige.”

She hugged me back, and then held me away from her, her hands on my shoulders. “Whoa, down girl, are you OK? What are
you
sorry for?”