Honor: a novella (13 page)

He looked at me for a moment and took another bite. “I can tell them, if you would like.”
 

I smiled at him. “They do think you’re wonderful, but I don’t think that would help.”
 

“I told them we would come down there soon,” he exclaimed without a care in the world.
 

All this talk was really making me sick. “I have to lay down.” I kissed him and headed back up the stairs.

The next week was full of last minute wedding things. We had to get Osric a tux. I had to find shoes. Not to mention everything else Lilly asked me to do. In the midst of all the chaos, I decided that I would tell my parents about Osric and I living together when we went to visit. I let them know we would drop by after Lilly’s wedding.

The night of the bachelorette party was upon us and Lilly opted out of a wild night and just wanted a nice dinner with everyone instead. I think she did this in hopes that Ryan would do the same.
 

I came down the stairs in a tight black dress and my favorite pair of red heels. Osric was dressed in black button up shirt with his dark jeans.
 

“You look handsome,” I told him.
 

He leaned down and kissed my bare shoulder. “I don’t look as nice as you, though,” he whispered.
 

We walked out to his truck and he helped me inside.
 

“Where is Ryan having his bachelor party?” I asked, a little scared to hear the answer.
 

“Same place as your birthday party.”
 

I let a long breath out, glad it wasn’t somewhere with poles and naked women. We pulled up out front of the restaurant and Osric came around and opened my door for me.
 

“Call me when your ready and I will pick you up,” he said kissing my lips.
 

“I will, I love you,” I said.
 

“I love you,” he said while kissing me one last time.

I walked into the restaurant and heard a loud bunch in the corner. “Honor, we are over here!” shouted Lilly. I walked over and took a seat. The table was full of ladies. Some I recognized and some I didn’t. Stephanie waved me over to sit beside her and Brenda.
 

“Who was the hunk who dropped you off,” Stephanie asked.
 

“Isn’t he gorgeous?” Brenda added.
 

I laughed at both of them. “Calm down ladies. That is my boyfriend, Osric,” I told Stephanie.
 

Lilly walked over to me and asked, “Did Osric tell you where they are going? Ryan said he couldn’t tell me.” She was worried.
 

“It is fine, it’s just a sports bar.”
 

She made a show of wiping her forehead with her hand in relief.
 

Everyone ordered, and by the time the food arrived most of the ladies were highly intoxicated and being extremely loud. I stuck to water because I was not feeling well. The restaurant was hot and the smell of the food was nauseating me. I knew I was going to be sick so I quickly made my way to the restroom, trying not to trip in my heels, with Brenda close behind me.
 

“Honor? Honey, are you all right?”
 

I left the stall door open, not caring as I spewed what food I had eaten in the toilet. Brenda rubbed my back and tried to hold back my long hair. Lilly came in next. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
 
She quickly saw and pulled out her phone. I could hear her talking to Ryan and asking if Osric could come and get me. “I hope you don’t have a virus, you have to be at my wedding tomorrow,” she said while helping me clean my face.
 

“I am fine. I am just stressing out about telling my parents about Osric and I moving in together.” Brenda pulled out a piece of gum from her purse and handed it to me. “Thank you.” I washed my hands and checked myself over in the mirror. “Don’t worry Lilly, I will be at your wedding.”
 

We all walked out of the bathroom and made our way back to the table. No one even noticed our absence. I finished off my water and was about to head outside for some fresh air when some of the ladies at our table started whistling.

“Look at that man! Oh…my…goodness!” said Lilly’s cousin Bethany.
 

I turned to see Osric walking towards us.
 

“I hope you feel better,” Lilly said from behind me.
 

“Oh, she will be just fine with him,” winked Lilly’s cousin Rhonda.
 

“I will see you in the morning,” I told Lilly as I hugged her. I waved goodbye to everyone and turned toward him.
 

“Ryan said you were sick.” He gazed down at me.
 

I grabbed his hand and started toward the door. “I was. I just need to lay down.” We made it to the truck and he helped me inside. The thought hit me, and I realized since Osric and I had been back together, I hadn’t had my period.
 

“I am sorry that you aren’t feeling well.”
 

I leaned up against him while he drove. “I will be fine.” I wondered what Osric would say if I told him what might be making me sick.
 

Once we were back home we both climbed in bed. We laid there just staring at each other until Osric shut his eyes and fell asleep. I laid next to him, lost in thought. I decided to get out of bed and tried not to wake him. Once I was up, I put on sweatpants and a hooded sweatshirt. I grabbed my keys and headed out the door.

Chapter 22

I sat there looking down at the positive pregnancy test. I was happy, but I was also unsure how Osric would react to this news. Would he be happy? I came out of the bathroom and put the test in the pocket of my sweatshirt. I saw it was now one-thirty in the morning and realized that I needed to get to bed for Lilly’s wedding in the morning.
 

I tiptoed to the bedroom, where Osric slept peacefully, and stripped out of my sweats and put them on the chair in the corner. I slipped into bed next to him and he wrapped his arms around me as I slowly got comfortable and fell asleep.

The next morning we rushed around getting ready. Osric came downstairs in his tux so I could look him over. “I like what I see! You look very nice,” I assured him. I turned and held my hair up. “Will you zip up my dress?”
 

He walked over and slowly zipped it up. “I think there is something missing,” he whispered into my ear.
 

I looked myself up and down. “There is?” He held out my necklace that he had given me, the same one I had thrown down in anger; I was ashamed of the way I behaved. I pulled myself from my gloomy thoughts. “My necklace!” He smiled as he put it on for me. “Thank you,” I said kissing him. He pulled me into him and deepened our kiss. “I love you…we have to go, or we are going to be late,” I uttered regretfully.
 

He straightened his tux and I grabbed my purse and we set off.

Osric and I sat at a table surrounded by Lilly’s family as the DJ announced the new Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Tate. Everyone stood and applauded them as they came into the reception hall. “It was a nice wedding,” Osric said as he rubbed my hand with his.
 

“It was very nice.” I moved the hair from his eyes. It had started to grow out again.
 

The waiters came around setting dinner plates in front of everyone at the table. The smell was making me sick. Osric began to eat, but noticed I wasn’t. “Honor, are you sure you are feeling okay?”

“I am fine,” I assured him. I picked up my fork and tried to eat, but mostly just pushed food around my plate.
 

After Lilly and Ryan had their first dance, people began filling the dance floor. “Dance with me?” Osric grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor. He pulled me close as we began to dance. “I love you,” he said, gazing down at me.
 

“Do you think this will ever be us? Getting married, I mean…and starting a family?” I asked.

“Nothing would make me happier than you being my wife,” he said smiling. Then a look of worry came to his face. “I am not sure about children though. There is too much uncertainty.”
 

I felt my heart sink. “Isn’t that just life: uncertainty—not knowing what tomorrow will bring?” I remarked. He didn’t say anything. I felt the tears coming.
 

“Honor, I wouldn’t want someone, let alone my own child, to go through what I have been through.”
 

I laid my head on his chest, feeling like my world was coming to an end. I would have to tell him and it would finish us for good. The song stopped and we made our way back to the table.
 

Another song started and Brenda was walking our way. “Hey handsome, humor this old lady and take me for a spin around the dance floor,” she said laughing. “You don’t mind do you, Honor?” Brenda asked me. I shook my head smiling. Osric being nothing but his polite-self took her by the hand and led her to the dance floor. I had never seen him really dance before and I was taken by surprise. One more reason it would hurt so badly to break the news to him. I watched as people began to crowd around the two of them.
 

The song quickly changed to the next and Lilly’s cousin Bethany caught him before he left the dance floor. I watched as she shamelessly shook her rear end in front of him. Lilly jumped in and shoved Bethany away and started dancing with him and Ryan started dancing with Bethany, though her dirty dancing didn’t stop. I guess it didn’t matter who her dance partner was.
 

Lilly called out to me to join them on the dance floor. Brenda was behind me and gave me a gentle push. “Thanks a lot!” I yelled to her as I walked out to the floor.
 

A slow song came on and Osric grabbed me by the waist. I pulled him near me and could feel the perspiration that came through his shirt. He smelled so good. I savored that moment on the dance floor with him holding me. We danced until it was time for the cake.
 

Shortly after that, it was time to see Lilly and Ryan off. We stood outside, lining the sidewalk to the limo, as Lilly and Ryan came walking through. She stopped and hugged Osric and I while Ryan shook Osric’s hand. “Have a great honeymoon!” I said while hugging her back.

She gave me a wicked grin. “Trust me, I will.” I just shook my head at her.
 

They waved their last goodbyes, got into the limo, and drove away. Osric grabbed my hand as we began walking back to the car. I bent down to remove my shoes because my feet could not take the pain any longer. I quickly felt panic as he lifted me from the ground and cradled me against him as he walked. I almost fell asleep on the car ride back home.
 

We walked up the stairs to the bedroom. “I am going to hop in the tub,” I said. He leaned down and kissed me as I walked into the bathroom. I ran the water and undressed, slowly slipping into the tub. The water felt nice. I sat back and closed my eyes.

“What is this?” I jumped at the sound of his voice. Osric stood in the doorway with his shirt unbuttoned, revealing his white undershirt. He still had his pants and dress shoes on. In his hand was the pregnancy test I had taken the night before. “How long have you known?” He seemed angry. I couldn’t find the words, and he raised his voice, “How long, Honor?”

Tears had started spilling out and I couldn’t stop them. “Last night after you went to bed, I went to the store and bought it.” He looked back down at it; I noticed he had my hooded sweatshirt in his other hand. “It didn’t even hit me that I might be until last night.”
 

He placed it on the counter and dropped my sweatshirt in the floor. He ran his hands through his hair. “When were you going to tell me?”

“I wasn’t sure. After we talked today about having kids…” I trailed off and sobbed. “I should have woken you up last night, but I didn’t. I am still trying to process this too.”
 

He looked livid.
 

“Osric, I am sorry,” I said crying.
 

He turned and walked out.
 

I quickly got up and grabbed a towel to wrap around myself. “Osric, please wait!” I tried to follow him, but he was already down the stairs and out the back door. I heard his truck start and he was gone. Crying, I walked back up the steps. Once I got to the bedroom, I changed back into my sweats and curled up on the bed. I laid there crying until I feel asleep.

Sunlight was beaming through the windows when I woke up the next morning. I stretched out barely opening my eyes. Then it hit me that Osric had left me. He had left us.
 

I wondered where he went to, and if he was just waiting until I left to come back. After all, this was his house. I sat up and rubbed my eyes, and then I saw him sitting in the chair in the corner. He still had on the same clothes he had left in. He stared at me for a moment. His beautiful face looked tired and worn. He rose from the chair and came over by the bed, kneeling beside where I sat.
 

“Honor,” his voice was raspy, “I owe you an apology. I left here last night angry. I wasn’t angry with you, just myself. I do wish you had told me when you found out, but I understand why you didn’t.” He took his hand and ran it through my hair. “Honor Ellis, I love you more than words can even say. My life has been a life of uncertainty and loss; though, I didn’t truly know loss until you left me the day I told you what I was. I would relive all of it, as awful as it was, a hundred times over to be with you.”