Honor Thy Teacher (6 page)

“Yes” she purred into my ear. I pushed my hips into her again.

“Yes what?” I wanted this to be perfect. I wanted her to be mine, completely.

“Yes, Sir” Her words shot through me like electricity. I bit lightly on her earlobe.

“Good girl” I forced myself to pull away from her. “Follow me”
A million thoughts ran through my head, all of them Emma.
I held her arm in my hand as we made our way up the stairs, not wanting to break the physical connection between us.
This was what sh
e wanted. She
wasn’t
thinking of me day and night, like I was of her. She wanted the one thing I could give to her. She wanted to lose control.
But
I hadn’t picked her up at the club. She
couldn’t
possibly know what she was asking from me. I needed to explain things to her. I had this conversation before. Sometimes they would give in and want to
play,
others would leave and never look back.
What would I do if she left?
What if she runs away?
The thought made me sick.

I pulled out my keys and quickly unlocked the deadbolt, pushing the door wide open. I wanted her to see that I
wasn’t
living in an abandoned warehouse. I had made it my home. It was warm and inviting. The walls a rich brown with artwork dotted
throughout
.

“Not what you expected?” I asked, waiting for some sort of reassurance that she was okay. She nodded, a small smile hinting at the corners of her mouth. She noticeably relaxed. I closed the door behind her, locking it. I reluctantly released her arm.

I walked into the kitchen area, her footsteps echoing behind me.
She stopped on the opposite side of the island and watched as I dug around in the cupboards. I pulled out a bottle of scotch and two small glasses. She eyed me curiously, as I filled them. The truth was, it
wasn’t
for her. I needed the liquid courage to keep from pulling her into my arms and saying things I would later regret, breaking her heart.

“Oh, I can’t” She said with the wave of her delicate fingers. I slid one of the glasses towards her.

“You will need this.” I smirked as I slammed back my drink, hoping she
wouldn’t
notice the slight tremble of my hands. I wanted to throw her down on the island and have my way with her right here.
Maybe one day
I thought.
Not today.
 
She grabbed her drink and gulped it down quickly, making a face as it passed her lips. I refilled the glasses.

“I have very particular tastes.” I said as I swirled the brown liquid in my glass before drinking it down. She drank hers, this time her expression unchanging. She glanced around the room.

“I like your taste.” She tucked her hair behind her ear.

“That’s not what I meant.”
I smiled at her innocence
as I
refilled the glasse
s. “I like to be in control.” I
explained
, hoping she would understand
. “But I will never do anything you don’t want me to do.”
I could see her withdrawal slightly. I
walked
around the island and
cautiously placed my hand on her
neck, sliding my fingers down over her
chest,
stopping just before reaching her
breasts.
Her body responded as she arched her back towards my hand.
I wanted to force myself to stop but the pull to her was far too great
.

“I understand.” Her voice rang through with false confidence
.
It was understandable, I was nervous as well. She bit her lip.

“If you understood you wouldn’t keep biting your lip like that.”
My body involuntarily pushed flush against hers. Her hands snaked their way to my chest and she began to fumble with the buttons on my shirt.
Oh, God.
How had I not noticed the innocence in her before?
I knew she
wasn’t
like the others but…

“Have you ever done this before?” I asked as I tried to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat. I searched her eyes, hoping I had misread her.

“I don’t make it a habit of sleeping with my professors.” She replied, sarcasm dripping from her words. Behind that, there was
a nervousness
.

“That’s not what I meant.” 
I could tell she understood but
didn’t
want to say the words.

“No” She whispered, looking down at the still fastened buttons of my shirt. I pushed back from her, needing space in between us. I had never even considered the fact that she was a virgin. Very few at her age are. I tried my best to hide the horror in my eyes as I thought back to
bending
her over my desk. I must have been unsuccessful because she immediately crossed her arms over her chest, her face wrought with rejection. I wanted to protect her, to make that sad expression fade away.

“Look at me.” I pleaded with her. She did not move, staring blankly at her feet. “Look at me.” I said again, slightly more commanding. I reached out hesitantly and tipped her chin up with my fingers. She did not recoil at my touch. As her eyes met mine I froze, not wanting to say what I was about to say. I took a deep breath and forced the words to leave my mouth. “I can’t do this.” The words stung and she flinched. My mind raced at the horrible mistake I had made, letting myself give in to what I felt for her. Tears welled in her eyes and reflecting back at me was the monster I had become. She pushed past me, heading towards the door. I had no right to try to stop her.

“I’ll find my own way home.” Her voice cracked under her sadness.
I
followed after
her, grabbing her arm and forcing her to face me. She needed to know it
wasn’t
her fault. She needed to know I was a monster and she should be thankful that it
didn’t
go any further. She trembled under my fingers as tears began
to slowly fall
down her cheeks. I froze. I
couldn’t
find the words to tell her how I felt. I was a coward. She pulled free from my grip and left my apartment.

I
didn’t
chase her. I let her go.

Chapter
Ten

I walked back over to the island wanting to numb myself from everything that had happened. Corrupting Emma was a new low. I poured myself a drink. As the liquid burned my throat, I chased it with another. I thought of Emma, outside, alone.
I
can’t
let her out there by herself.
Not after what I had just done to her.
I grabbed my laptop and quickly searched her name. I pulled up her page on the social network site I had found the other day. I scanned her info and saw her number. I dialed her number, not letting myself
second guess
myself.

“Come get me.” She
said,
the sadness still evident in her voice. She obviously
hadn’t
expected me to be on the other end.

“Where are you?” I asked, wanting to run to her, to comfort her. I was selfish.

“Like you care.”
She was angry and the words stung. I couldn’t let her out there with
no
way to get home.
Not after what I had just done to her.

“I just want to make sure you make it home safely.”
I struggled to hide the frustration in my voice. As much as I wanted to make sure she was safe, I wanted to see her.
I was a wolf after an injured fawn. Not
even
I could stop myself from hurting her.

“I’m not going home. I’m going out.” She hissed and the line went dead. I had rejected her and she was going out to find comfort in someone else’s arms. I cursed under my breath, clenching my phone so tightly that my knuckles turned white.

I made my way back to the kitchen for another drink.
Why do I care what she does and whom she does it
with
?
I had rejected her and let her leave. I was a vile creature in her eyes. That is what I had wanted. My phone rang and I felt the sadness wash away. She changed her mind. I grabbed the phone and held it up to read the caller I.D. It was Angela. My heart sank. I poured another drink as I thought about answering it. Soon, the apartment filled with silence. I quickly dialed Emma again. I needed to know she was
alright
and wasn’t going to do anything stupid on account of me. It rang three times before a voice answered, but it
wasn’t
Emma.

“Hello?” A female asked. I could barely hear her over the thudding of the music in the background.

“Is Emma there?” I asked, hoping I had the right number.

“She’s right here. You should hang out with us. We’re at The Rapture.” She giggled, slurring her words. I heard a man’s voice in the background and
I could have sworn he said Emma’s name.

“Perhaps” I replied as I ended the call. I knew I
shouldn’t
go, but Emma obviously had a low tolerance for alcohol, as evident by her injured hand. I
couldn’t
live with myself if she was taken advantage of by someone else.
Could I live with myself
if it was I who took advantage of her
?
I
didn’t
want to know the answer. I grabbed my keys and went after her. I just needed to know she was
alright
.

I sat in the parking lot at the club, trying to convince myself that I had no right to care. If I went to her, everyone would see me. I
wouldn’t
be able to show my face at the college again. I gripped the door handle. Just
then
Emma stumbled outside of the club. I breathed a sigh of relief. I grabbed my phone and hit redial.

“What?” She asked bitterly. I deserved her anger, but it
didn’t
make it easier to take.