Honor Unraveled (24 page)

It was best for a man in his line of work to learn to only half sleep.

And so, when his bedroom door banged open in the middle of the night, he’d palmed his gun from his nightstand and had rolled to take aim at the shadowy form that streaked across his room and launched herself onto his bed.

Ivy
. He uncocked his pistol and set it back on the nightstand, then focused on the trembling woman who was clinging to him. He maneuvered her underneath the covers. She was like ice, from her feet to her head. He rolled over, covering her with his body.

“Hey.” He smoothed the wild hair from her face. “What happened?”

Ivy shook her head and burrowed more deeply into him.

“Okay. Take it easy. You’re all right.” He curved himself around her, willing his body to heat hers as he rubbed her arm and warmed her feet with his. “Bad dream?” He felt her rapid nod against his shoulder.
 

After a few minutes, he pulled back and looked at her. There was enough moonlight that he could see the moisture on her face. “Want to talk about it?” Her eyes looked wild, the whites flashing in the dark. “Dreams can be crazy intense. If you talk about what scared you, its hold on you loosens, yeah?”

She looked up at him, but wasn’t yet ready to open up. He rolled over to his back and lifted her on top of him, then pulled the covers up over her shoulders. She settled her head against his chest. “Can you hear my heart beat?”

She nodded.
 

“It beats for you.” He rubbed her back, beneath the covers. “It’s only ever beat for you, Ivy. Never even for me.”

She dug her hands in under his chest and held him tightly. He felt a change in her breathing, hitching and irregular. He hated her pain, hated that it was shadows affecting her and not something physical that he could tear apart.
 

He reached over to grab the box of tissues on his nightstand and set them near her. It was heaven having her in his arms, even if it had been desperation and not desire that brought her there. He held her for long minutes, rubbing her back. At last, she began to speak.

“I dreamed I was standing on that football field. At graduation. Watching you leave all over again. I wanted to die. If it weren’t for Casey, I would have.”

He heard Val’s comment play through his mind.
“She wakes every day with her wound raw and bleeding, as unhealed as it was the day before or the day before that or the day you left her.”

“I didn’t leave you, Ivy. I’ll never leave you.”

“I know it wasn’t voluntary. I know it wasn’t your choice to go. But I had no one. No one.”

“You had Mandy.”

Ivy shrugged. “She was in junior high school.” She sniffled. “What the hell did she know of sex and babies and broken hearts?” She blew her nose, then tossed the tissue on the floor. “I don’t want to need anyone like that again. To the point of death.”

He smoothed a bit of hair behind her ear. He knew exactly what she meant, because he was already there. For her. “Okay.” He nodded, stalling for time. “Okay. We won’t go there. We’ll just be friends.” He gave her a hug. “Maybe friends with benefits?”

“Kit!” Ivy punched his arm, but she laughed, and that was what he cared about. “Can I stay here tonight?”

“I wish you would.”

She set her head back down on his chest. It was enough, he told himself. It was a start.

* * *

Ivy woke alone. It took a couple of seconds for her to remember what happened, why she was not in her own bed. She hadn’t heard Kit leave this morning, but his side of the bed was cold. She rolled out of bed and went to her room to clean up and dress.

Last night, he’d been the kind and gentle Kit she remembered. It was as if he let his guard down and let her inside. She was still basking in the warmth of the previous night when she made her way down to the dining room.
 

It was early yet. Only Mandy and Zavi were seated at the table. The breakfast buffet was already set up. And Kit stood next to it, fixing a mug of coffee. He looked up when she came in. She braced herself for his habitual stoicism.

He smiled at her.
 

She stopped in her tracks and stared at him, returning his smile. He lifted an arm, signaling her over for a hug. She couldn’t move—her feet were melted to the floor.

“It’s a hug, Ivy. You know what those are, right?” She made a face and went over to slip her arms around him. “I learned them from Casey. Two people put their arms around each other and squeeze. Like this. Not a bad way to start a day, is it?”

She looked up at him and smiled. “I know about hugs.”

“Do you? ’Cause you’ve been pretty stingy with them.” He squeezed her again. “I haven’t had very many of them in my life. I think they’re just about the greatest things out there. Except for you. And Casey.”

Ivy pressed her head against his chest. “Is there a time limit associated with the gesture?”

Kit shook his head. “Not that I’m aware of—leastwise, not one that concerns you. Though it might be hard for me to fight bad guys during a perpetual hug.”

Ty and Eden came into the room, with Tank moving leisurely at their side. Ty headed up to the coffee decanter. “Hey, get a room, you two,” he snapped as he reached around them for a couple of mugs.

Ivy looked up at Kit. “I think we’re in the way.”

“In whose way? I don’t see anyone but you.”

Ty looked over at Mandy. “Have they been like this all morning?”

“Pretty much,” she answered, smiling.

* * *

Fiona looked at the houses in Wolf Creek Bend’s oldest neighborhood where her stepfather had lived as Kelan drove her over to what was left of her dad’s place. She needed to make a plan for dealing with his property now that the FBI was finished searching it for any evidence they’d been after. Kelan had warned her the property was in a shambles, but nothing could have prepared her for what she found when they turned onto his driveway. Yellow crime scene tape encircled the entire property. Windows were boarded up. Debris littered the front lawn—the remains of walls that had been ripped out, hollow doors that had been split open with axes, piles of curtains, blinds, and carpeting. What a mess.

Kelan cut the padlock that had been put on the front door to her stepfather’s shop. He pushed the door open, then stepped inside. Debris was strewn across the floor. He offered her a hand as she stepped over the threshold.
 

The drywall and old ’70s paneling had been ripped off the walls. The counters were broken apart. Glass, wood, plaster, and papers were scattered everywhere. Here and there, the floorboards were even torn up.
 

Her stepdad—the man she’d known, anyway—had kept his store if not tidy, at least well ordered. When the authorities released his building back to her, she thought she’d just need to do a good cleaning, give some aspects of it a facelift, then turn around and sell it.
 

This place needed to be condemned.

“You don’t have to do this,” Kelan said, watching her with worried eyes.

“Is it all like this?”

“Yes.”
 

Fiona stepped into the room. Kelan held her arm, leading her across the plumber’s shop to the back door that led into her dad’s apartment.
 

“Watch where you step. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

The private residence had fared no better. Everything was torn apart. The flooring, the furniture, the walls.

She started to shake.
 

“I meant what I said, Fiona. Let me take care of this for you.”

“What is there to take care of? This place should be condemned.” She couldn’t stop the tears that pooled in her eyes. “I thought…I thought I could fix it up and sell it.” She looked at Kelan. “I wanted to give Mandy whatever money I made so she could rebuild her riding center. But I can’t do that now. I don’t have the money to fix this. I won’t even be able to give this mess away.”

“So let’s tear it down, clear the lot, and build a new house here that you can sell.”

Fiona drew a fortifying breath. “I’m in school, Kelan. I don’t have any credit or any income. I won’t get financing.”

“I’ll finance you.”

Her gaze shot his way. She swiped at her cheeks. “That makes no sense.”

“Why not? What else have I got to do with my money? You can pay me back when it sells. I know a construction company that could use the work.”

“That’s so risky.” She shook her head. “What if it doesn’t sell quickly? What if it can’t be done for a reasonable enough price that you make a profit and I have some left over to give Mandy?”

“How about we set up a meeting with the guy who can answer those questions so you have the info you need to make the right decision? Don’t worry about funding, okay?”

Fiona stepped over the crunchy debris to wrap her arms around his waist and hug him. He pulled her in close. He was always rock solid. In the weeks since her world had crumbled, he’d always been there for her. She took so much strength from him.

“What would I do if I’d never met you?” she asked, looking up at him.

He gave a little laugh. “Couldn’t have happened.” He swiped his thumbs gently beneath her eyes, smoothing away her tears. “There’s no point wondering something like that.”

Fee looked up at him. “I suppose you believe in fate and all that?”

“Of course. Fate’s the script we write for ourselves before we come alive. I couldn’t not meet you. Though you took your sweet time showing up in my life.” He grinned at her.

And it was at that point that Fee remembered he was already spoken for. She pulled free and moved a careful few steps away, putting some much-needed space between them.

“Kelan?” she started hesitantly, looking back at him. He lifted a thick black brow. “When you declare yourself to your girlfriend, I want you to know that I will respect that—you and her. I won’t cause any trouble. But could we still be friends? ’Cause I would really hate to lose you.”

“Fiona, you won’t lose me. You
are
my chosen.”

“Me?” She wiped her cheeks. The breeze coming in from a broken window chilled her skin.
 

“You.”

“But you never said anything.”

“You aren’t of age. It isn’t yet the right time.”

“That’s why you kissed me the night Ty’s house was attacked.”

“I’ve wanted to kiss you from the first night I found you.”

Fee’s pulse quickened. “What does this mean?”

“We’ll discuss it on your twenty-first birthday.”

She waved her hand, irritated that he thought to put her off. “Does this mean we’re dating? Are you seeing anyone else?”

He shook his head. “There is no other woman for me.”

“Have you…have you ever been with someone?”

“I’m thirty-two, Fiona. I’ve had long years to take pleasure in women while I waited for you.” He pursed his lips for a minute before asking, “And you? Have you been with another man?”

Fee dropped her gaze. She could honestly say no. For some reason, she’d never become intimate with any of the guys she’d dated. They’d all been boys compared to Kelan, their faces not yet hardened. They’d lacked the height and width of a man fully grown. Everything about Kelan stirred something deep inside her. She knew the question he was after. And that answer was also “no.” She was still a virgin. She hated that. Hated that he had so much more experience than she did. Hated her innocence.

“No,” she said. “Can I call you my boyfriend?”

“Can I call you my girlfriend?”

Fee remembered the conversation they’d had a few days earlier when he’d explained his philosophy about couples. He was certain everyone had a matching half somewhere, that true lifemates fit together like custom gears, and once joined, they’d be forever after two people living as one. It sounded complicated and daunting, and wasn’t something she was ready for. She shook her head. “Not yet.”

“Then no, I’m not your boyfriend.”

She studied him a long minute. “I want to kiss you.”

He smiled and held out his hand. “What are you waiting for?”

Fiona closed the short distance between them, stopping only when her body was against his. Her hands moved over his pecs on their way up to his shoulders. She looked up at him as she stroked his neck, then jaw and cheek. This was their second kiss, but the first that she had instigated. The first one where she could go slowly and feel all the wonderful aspects of him, like the hardness of his body, the power in his arms, his height that made her have to stretch up on her tippy toes to link her hands behind his neck.
 

And then his big hands gripped her back and pulled her even closer as he bent to meet her mouth with his. Their tongues dueled, gaining and giving ground. Fee tightened her arms around Kelan’s neck, wanting more of him. He bent over her, surrounding her with his body. His arms took her weight, holding her in place as he took control of the kiss. His body was as taut as a strung bow as he worked her mouth, kissed her neck.

Fee wanted to rip his shirt off and hers as well so they could be skin to skin. She pulled back enough to whisper against his mouth, “I want more, Kelan. Please.”