Hope Chest (23 page)

Joseph glanced over at Rachel, and she gave him a knowing look. The last time Dad’s back went out, it took more than a few days’ rest or a couple of treatments with the chiropractor to get him back on his feet. There was no doubt about it: Dad wouldn’t be going to church this morning, and more than likely, he’d be flat on his back in bed for the next couple of weeks. That meant more work for Joseph and probably less time for him to spend courting Pauline.

***

That evening when Silas arrived at the singing, he looked around, hoping to see Rachel. She’d seemed so distant lately—nothing like the fun-loving Rachel he’d gone fishing with a few weeks ago. Maybe he’d have a chance to clear things up with her. Even if he had no possible chance at a future with Rachel, he would still like to be her friend. He remembered how much fun they’d had fishing and studying birds, and his heart skipped a beat at the thought of their kiss.

Silas caught sight of Joseph sitting on one side of the Hostetlers’ barn, sharing a bale of straw with Pauline. He hurried over and squatted down beside them. “Did Rachel come with you tonight? I haven’t seen any sign of her.”

Joseph shook his head. “She stayed home. Said something about working on her hope chest.”

“Hmm...”

“Besides, our daed hurt his back this morning, and Rachel figured Mom would be needing her help to wait on him.”

Silas’s forehead wrinkled. “Sorry to hear that. No wonder I didn’t see him at church today.”

“Jah, and he had to go straight to bed after it happened.”

“Will he be able to help you finish the harvest or do any chores at all?”

“I doubt it; he’s in a lot of pain—could barely get into bed.” Joseph frowned. “Guess that means Perry might have to miss a few days of school so he can give me a hand with some of the chores. I’ll be busy helping our Amish neighbors who come to help with the harvesting, and I sure can’t do that plus all the other jobs needing to be done.”

“No, I guess not.” Silas thought he should say more, but Joseph had turned his attention to Pauline, so Silas let his thoughts shift back to Rachel.

Wonder why she would be working on her hope chest? After the way she acted the other night, it was fairly obvious she was done with me. Sure as anything, Rachel isn’t stocking her hope chest with the idea of marrying me.

Suddenly, a light seemed to dawn. Maybe Rachel and Abe Landis were more serious about each other than he’d realized. Silas released a groan as he stood. Maybe it was for the best. Rachel might be better off with Abe. They were closer in age, and Abe probably hadn’t said or done anything to make Rachel mistrust him.

***

After Rachel had finished helping Mom and Elizabeth clear the table and wash the supper dishes, she excused herself to go to her room.

“You’re not sleepy already, are you?” Mom rolled her wheelchair across the kitchen to where Rachel stood by the hallway door. “Since your daed’s in bed and Perry’s in his room reading to him, I thought maybe we three women could work on a puzzle or play a game.”

Elizabeth jumped up and down. “That sounds like fun. Let’s make a big batch of popcorn, too!”

Rachel felt bad about throwing cold water on their plans, but she had work to do upstairs. Besides, she wasn’t fit company for anyone right now. “Maybe some other time. I’d planned to work on my hope chest tonight.”

Mom’s eyes seemed to brighten. “I’m glad to hear that, Rachel. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to take an interest in marriage or that hope chest your daed made for your sixteenth birthday.”

I’ve got an interest, all right. Trouble is, the man I want is in love with my married sister.
Rachel sure couldn’t tell Mom what she was thinking. She knew that even though her mother rarely spoke of Anna anymore, she still missed her and was terribly hurt by Anna’s decision to go “fancy.” There was no point in bringing up a sore subject, so Rachel smiled and said, “See you two in the morning.”

As soon as Rachel got to her room, she knelt on the floor in front of her hope chest. The last time she had opened it, she’d been filled with such high hopes. Back then, she and Silas seemed to be getting closer, and she’d even allowed herself to believe he might be falling in love with her. For a brief time, she’d been praising God and remaining hopeful. But her hopeful dream had been dented when Silas said he was sorry for kissing her, and it had been smashed to smithereens when she’d overheard him telling his cousin that he still loved Anna. “What’s the use in having a hope chest if you aren’t planning to get married?” she mumbled. “I could never marry anyone but Silas, because he’s the only man I’ll ever love.”

Rachel lifted the lid and studied the contents of her hope chest. There was the lamp Dad had given her, along with the pillowcases Mom had made. She had purchased a few new items, as well—a set of dishes, some towels, and a tablecloth. She’d also made a braided throw rug, some pot holders, and had even been thinking about starting a quilt with the double-ring pattern. There was no point in making one now. The best thing to do was either sell off or give away most of the things in her hope chest. She pulled out the set of pillowcases and the braided throw rug, knowing she could use them in her room. The other things she put in a cardboard box, planning to take them to the greenhouse the following day.

Since Christmas wasn’t far off, she was fairly certain she could sell some things to their customers. Anything that didn’t sell she would take to Thomas Benner, the owner of the variety store in Paradise, and see if he might put them out on consignment. Maybe she would use the money she made to buy a concrete birdbath for Mom’s flower garden. If she got enough from the sales, she might also buy several bird feeders from Eli Yoder, which would bring even more birds into their yard. At least she could still take some pleasure in bird-watching—even though it would have to be without Silas.

Rachel’s only concern was what her mother would think when she saw all the things for sale in the greenhouse. Mom had seemed so hopeful about Rachel adding items to her hope chest. If she knew what was really going on, she would probably get all nervous, thinking she’d have to wait until Elizabeth grew up before she could plan a wedding. Of course, if things kept on the way they were with Joseph and Pauline, Mom could be in on their wedding plans.

Rachel closed the empty chest, and in so doing, she spotted Anna’s hope chest. All these months it had been sitting in the corner of her room, and never once had she opened it. It was all she had left of her sister. If she opened it now, memories of Anna and reminders of how much she missed her older sister would probably make her cry.

Rachel moved over to Anna’s hope chest and knelt beside it. She ran her fingers along the top of the chest as tears slipped from her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. “Oh, Anna, wasn’t it bad enough that you broke Silas’s heart by marrying Reuben? Did you have to move away and go English on us?” Rachel nearly choked on a sob as she turned away from Anna’s hope chest, feeling as if a heavy weight rested on her shoulders. Would she ever see Anna again?

***

As Anna prepared for bed, her thoughts went to home. Several weeks had passed since she’d received a letter from Mom or Rachel, and it made her wonder if something might be wrong. Could Dad have found out they’d been writing to her? Maybe they’d been too busy working in the greenhouse to write anything lately.

She sighed as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She not only wore different clothes, but she’d cut her hair a few weeks ago, and that made her look so much different. “I wonder if anyone in my family would recognize me now,” she murmured.

“I recognize you,” Reuben said, as he stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

She leaned her head against his broad chest and smiled. “I would hope so.”

He nuzzled her neck with his cold nose.

“Do you ever miss your folks?” Anna asked.

“Jah, sure, but now I’ve got you, and you’re my family.”

“How come you don’t go home and visit them?”

“I will when I feel the time is right.”

She turned to face him. “You’re not being faced with a shunning the way I am, so you can go back anytime you want, and nothing much will have changed.”

He shook his head. “That’s not so.”

“What do you mean?”

“I haven’t said anything about this before because I didn’t want to upset you, but I ran into my brother Mose the other day, and he said Mom and Dad are still pretty peeved at me for leavin’ the way I did. They think it’s a sin and a shame that I didn’t join the church, and Mom told Mose that I deserve to be shunned, regardless of whether I’d joined the church or not.”

“Maybe in time your folks will come to understand.” Anna swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I’d like to visit my folks soon, but I’m waiting to hear from Mom again so I know when’s a good time to go and whether Dad will allow me to come or not.”

Reuben frowned. “A shunning in our district doesn’t mean your family can’t speak to you. They just aren’t supposed—”

She put her fingers against his lips. “Can we talk about something else? This conversation is making me feel depressed.”

He leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose. “How about we don’t talk at all and just go to sleep? I’m pretty tired, and tomorrow my boss has scheduled us to begin a paint job on a big grocery store, so I really should try to get a good night’s sleep.”

“You’re right; I need to be up early for my job, too.” Anna flicked the light switch on the wall and crawled into bed. Maybe in the morning before she left for work, she would write Rachel and Mom both a letter and see what was up.

CHAPTER 21

Silas tossed and turned most of the night, punching his pillow, thinking about Rachel, and asking God to pave the way for them to be together. He had to see Rachel again and try to explain things. Even if she never wanted him to court her, he needed to clear the air and make her understand the way he felt. If only they could spend more time together. As he finally drifted off to sleep, visions of Rachel’s sweet face and her two little dimples filled his senses. If only they could be together. If only...

When Silas awoke the next morning, he’d come up with a plan. Rachel had been kind enough to help out at their place when his mother had broken her arm, so now he could return the favor. If he helped Joseph in the fields most of the day, mealtimes would be spent in the Beachys’ kitchen. It would be a good opportunity to see Rachel and maybe get in a word with her. Since Rachel’s dad was laid up right now, he was sure his help would be most welcome. He would speak to his dad about the idea, and if Pap had no objections, then Silas would head on over to the Beachys’ place right after breakfast and volunteer his services.

***

Rachel had just finished washing and drying the breakfast dishes when she heard a horse and buggy pull into the yard. She peeked out the kitchen window and gulped when she saw who it was. Silas had climbed out of his buggy and was heading toward the house.

Joseph and Perry were in the fields, Elizabeth was at school, and Dad and Mom had gone into town to see Doc Landers. That left Rachel alone at the house. Silas had obviously seen her through the window, because he waved. Rachel sighed. She had no choice but to open the door.

“Guder mariye,” Silas said when Rachel answered his knock. “I missed you at the singing last night.”

“I had other things to do.”

“So I heard.” Silas’s forehead wrinkled. “I also heard your daed hurt his back.”

Rachel nodded. “It goes out on him now and then. He’s at the chiropractor’s right now.” She had no plans to invite Silas inside, so she stepped through the doorway and joined him on the porch, hoping he would take the hint and be on his way.

“I came to help Joseph in the fields. He said your daed won’t be up to it now, and since we’re all done harvesting over at our place, I figured I’d offer my services here.”

Rachel breathed deeply and noticed the stinging sensation of the freshly mown hay hovering over their farm. She flicked an imaginary piece of lint off the sleeve of her dress and tried to avoid his steady gaze. “It’s nice of you to offer,” she murmured. “Perry stayed home from school to help Joseph today, but it won’t be good if he misses too many days.”

“That’s what I thought.” Silas shifted from one foot to the other. “I ... uh ... was kind of hoping you and I could have a little talk before I head out to the fields.”

“I’ve got to get to the greenhouse and open up.”

“I thought Pauline worked there now. Or did she find herself some other job?”

“She still helps us some because Mom’s not up to working full time anymore. But Pauline has chores at her house to do every morning, so she usually doesn’t get here until ten or after.”

Silas cleared his throat. “Okay, I’ll let you get to it then.” He pivoted and started down the steps, but when he got to the bottom, he halted and turned back around. “Maybe later we can talk?”

She raised her gaze to meet his and slowly nodded. “Jah, maybe.”

***

Silas noticed tears clinging like dewdrops to Rachel’s long, pale lashes, and it was all he could do to keep from pulling her into his arms. Before their misunderstanding, he’d been drawing closer to Rachel, and some of his old fears had been sliding into a locked trunk of unwanted memories. Now he wondered why they had drifted apart and if he could do anything to bring them close again. Maybe the real issue was trust. Did she trust him? Did he trust her? Were either of them trusting God as they should?