Hopelessly Imperfect (Imperfect #1) (16 page)

My breath caught in my throat. He didn’t know anything?
This is bad.
“I’m going with you.”

His eyes widened. “No, you’re not!”

Determination washed over me. I narrowed my eyes before running to the passenger door and hopped inside his car. Jay rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

“I’m not moving until you take me there, Jay,” I warned him. “And even if you don’t take me, I’m going to go looking for them, which will be even worse since I’d be wandering through the most dangerous places until I find them.”

“Ugh. All right,” he huffed, “but I’m not taking all of you!” he said as Anne and Farah opened their mouths to protest. His eyes turned to me as he stepped inside. “One whiny girl is enough,” he murmured to himself as he started the car.

“You have to take Farah, Jay. She’s worried to death.” I swallowed hard. “Please.”

“Fuck.” He glared through the windshield into the distance. “I’m dead, anyway,” he muttered angrily. “Get in, Blondie, we don’t have all afternoon!”

Farah smiled gratefully at me as she hopped in the back. Anne stayed behind. However, she was deeply concerned. I promised to text her.

The whole ride was uneasy; the silence was unbearable. I wanted to ask Jay so many things; I’m sure Farah felt the same. But he was so tense that I was sure he didn’t know what was going on. That was the scariest part.

He parked at the outskirts of the city in front of an old warehouse. Several cars were parked outside, but no one was around. The place had a dangerous aura. The paint on the outside of the building was peeling away, and most of it had graffiti all over. We could hear people shouting inside.

Goose bumps sprang up on my skin, and my heart caught in my throat as we stepped from the car. Farah’s blue eyes were wide and filled with fright. I grabbed her hand, and we walked together toward the entrance. Jay started to open the door, then turned to us. “Stay close to me, okay?” We nodded.

Farah’s hold tightened, and I swallowed hard as we stepped through the small door. The scent of sweat hit us immediately. The place was packed with people—mostly men of several different ages. The girls who were there were at least in their twenties; most of them were dressed in black leather outfits and had several piercings or tattoos covering their bodies.

Jay walked in front of us, and we followed him, struggling through the masses of men. More than a few leered at us, and a few more watched us slyly. Swallowing hard, I pressed myself closer to Jay as we moved through the crowd.

Finally, we reached the so-called stage, which was nothing more than a clear space in the middle of the room. There was a fight going on, and my heart sank as I saw Nate being beaten up by an older guy. His white t-shirt was bloody, and he had a nasty cut on his right brow. His face was covered in little cuts, and he had a large bruise on his left cheek. The guy towered over him clenching his fists as Nate clutched his stomach.

With all my might, I shoved Jay away and placed myself between Nathan and the other guy. The man was ready to punch Nate in the face. When he saw me, he froze. I swallowed hard, completely panicked and wide-eyed. The man looked well out of his twenties, and he was much bigger and more muscled than Nathan. A dragon tattoo peeked out of his shirt collar and circled his neck. His dark blond hair was tousled from the fight, and his eyes ran across me slyly.

Nathan grabbed me by the waist and pulled me behind him. He glanced at me, his gray eyes blazing with fury for a moment before he stared at his opponent. “What the fuck are you fucking doing here?” he muttered through clenched teeth before taking a step back, pushing me toward Jay as he got ready to fight.

“Who is you pretty friend, Rivers?” The guy was trying to get a better look at me. Nathan tensed.

The men were shouting for the fight to go on as Nathan snapped, “She’s no one.” My stomach plummeted to the floor, and I felt like someone had punched me in the gut.

“Really?” The guy leered at me and raised his palms, silencing the crowd. “If she’s no one, then you won’t mind me talking to her, would you?”

Nathan’s jaw clenched. “I came here to fight, not to see you flirt.”

The guy laughed and raised both palms again, this time in mock surrender. “I’m calling it a night if she talks to me.”

“Fuck you, Williams.” Nathan’s tone was vicious.

The man raised an eyebrow. He threw a fist at Nate’s face, but he dodged and punched him in the stomach. The man fell, and Nate grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd. Jay, Chris, and Farah were next to us a moment later. We ran outside and hopped into Jay’s truck as a few men emerged, cursing and shouting.

Jay started the engine and raced away.

“What the fuck, Jay?” Nate shouted as soon as the warehouse was out of sight.

Jay’s voice was frantic as he shouted from the driver’s seat. “She jumped in front of my car, dude! What was I supposed to do?”

My heart sank. Nate really didn’t want to see me. I glanced at Farah, but she was too busy examining her boyfriend.

“What the hell were you thinking?” Nate snapped at me. His gray eyes were still blazing, and my stomach churned as I looked at his bruised face.

My breathing was coming out in pants, and adrenaline was still pumping through my heart. Glaring at him, I shoved him in the chest with both palms. “What the hell were
you
thinking?”

“Are you fucking stupid?” His jaw clenched, and I felt like he’d punched me in the heart again.

“
Fuck you, Rivers
,” I snapped. “Jay, could you please drop me at my house?”

Jay glared at Nathan through the rearview mirror before nodding at me. “Sure.”

Crossing my arms, I gave Jay my address, turning away from Nathan. My eyes brimmed with tears as I looked through the window.

We were silent as we drove toward my house. Fifteen minutes later, Jay stopped in front of it. Nathan got out of the car, and I passed him without a word. He closed the door and bumped his fist against it twice. Jay’s car roared to life, and they drove away.

Angry and hurt, I stomped to my house, and Nathan’s hand softly grabbed my arm. “I’m sorry, Cassie,” he said sadly. “I’m an ass, I know, but that was the last place I ever thought I’d see you.”

I turned to him. My eyes were still brimming with tears. “You are an idiot! What were you thinking?” I shoved him in the chest once again as his gray eyes stared at me. “That was the most stupid stunt you could ever do!”

His eyes were stormy before he cupped my cheek. My heart was pumping furiously inside my chest. I was completely taken aback at his touch. Before I could say anything more, he crushed his lips against mine.

Chapter Fifteen

The moment our lips touched, tingles shot through my body. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as his arms encased my waist and pulled me closer. My hands instinctively shot to him as I kissed him back. A deep need burst from within me as I tried to bring him even closer. A soft groan came from the back of his throat as my heart raced. My skin tingled whenever he was touching me.

Then, as if someone had turned on a switch within me, I remembered being kissed like this before. At Sean’s party. When I got drunk. My thoughts scrambled as I pulled away, still breathing heavily.

My hand reached out for my swollen lips. “You kissed me.” He was the guy that had been with me at the party. The one I came on to and the one that had gotten me home safe and sound. It was never Tom. It was Nathan.

His eyes were a shade darker, and I could see he was as breathless as me. A flash of pain passed through his eyes before he took a step back. “I’m sorry.” His voice was raspy.

“What?” I threw a confused look at him.

What the hell is he talking about?

Without answering me, he walked away, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets.

Why was he sorry for?

For kissing me?

For being an idiot?

For not telling me that we kissed before?

Or was I was too screwed up for him? Because I couldn’t deny that one. I was definitely a nutcase. Swallowing hard, I walked to my room as flashes of that night ran through my head.

It happened during spring break. Going to parties had been a must over the holidays. Drinking wasn’t such a big thing for me, but Tom and Marissa had been teasing me for being such a prude, and I kind of wanted to shut them up, so I drank. A lot. By the end of the night, I was a mess.

I remember trying to get away from everyone because I didn’t feel euphoric like everyone else did. No, the alcohol made every feeling I’d locked up inside much more intense, and I felt like crap.

I walked outside to the darkest part of the terrace where no one could see me. Tears brimmed my eyes, and for once, I didn’t try to stop them.

In the midst of it all, someone found me. I just didn’t want to feel sad anymore, so I kissed him. Like there was no tomorrow. And he kissed me back, and I tried to take off his t-shirt, but he stopped me because I was crying. He had held me, and then he’d taken me home. And I always thought it was Tom. I kind of respected him because he wasn’t such an
asshole that night. He never mentioned what happened, so I did the same.

But it hadn’t been Tom.

It had been Nathan. It had been him all along, and I’d never noticed him after that.

That was why he told me off for being in my little world. I was such an idiot. How could I forget about him? Now I could remember those gray eyes staring at me.
Moron
couldn’t even begin to cover it.

Frustrated, I let myself fall on my bed, punching and kicking it at the same time. Sighing, I turned onto my back. My gaze was glued to the white ceiling of my room as my right hand lingered on my lips. I could still feel little tingles from Nathan’s kiss. I replayed the whole thing several times. His dark eyes and husky tone were etched in my mind.

Kissing him was like riding a roller coaster. For a moment, I felt as though I was floating in the sky completely mesmerized at him, but then I remembered what an idiot I’d been by not noticing him before and my stomach plunged to the floor.

Why would he ever want to hang out with me anyway?

Rubbing both palms on my face completely discouraged, I heard my phone ring.
Please let it be him! Please!

I sprang to get it and pouted at the name on the screen. It was Amanda. “Yeah?”

“Hi, Cassie! Is everything okay?” She sounded relieved to hear me.

That depends. If by “okay” you mean I just screwed up any chance to ever talk to one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met, then I am.

“I’m fine.”

“I was so worried about you! You never miss an appointment, and both you and Nathan missed them!”

I scrunched my nose at the sound of his name. “Sorry. We just had to go somewhere.”

Amanda stayed quiet for a moment. “Are you guys okay?”

“Yeah,” I said hesitantly.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

“Sure. And sorry for standing you up and getting you all worried.”

“It’s fine.” I could picture her grinning. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Same time, okay?”

“Yeah. See you!” My shoulders sagged as we hung up. I played with my phone for a moment, lingering on Nate’s number.

Should I call him?
What would you say? Sorry for not remembering? That was ages ago.
Ugh.

My eyes flew to where I had my drawing pad. I had given it up when Mom got worse. It didn’t feel right to do something I actually enjoyed when that was going on. It still felt awful. Like I was underserving of it. Slowly, I walked to my bookcase and took it out. My right hand traced one of the last drawings I’d made. It was a white lily, but the edges were darker, like it was withering. Mom’s favorite flower.

My eyebrows furrowed as I grabbed a pencil.

I always missed her. Constantly. A part of me always felt empty. No matter what. Especially at times like this. All I wanted was to have her near so I could ask her what to do. However, I already knew what she would have said:
Go to therapy.
My eyes were teary as I snorted at that. If she didn’t know what to do or say, she would send you to therapy. Which was a bit ironic at the moment.

With a heavy heart, I started to draw a face. I wasn’t surprised to recognize certain someone after I finished the eyes and lips. There was no point denying my feelings.

I liked Nathan, and I was sure that was pretty clear to him after our kiss.

I wanted to assume he fancied me too. But I just wasn’t sure. A part of me knew he must. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have been patiently talking to me since I went back to school. Nonetheless, he was hurt. That was crystal clear by now. I had hurt him without knowing it.

Dad’s voice from the first floor snapped me out of my thoughts. He wanted me to come down for dinner, so I left my drawing on my desk and decided not to tell him anything about my afternoon.

As I approached the kitchen, I heard him talking to Marie, and my stomach clenched. They were chatting animatedly and even laughing. I froze by the door, listening to them.

Eventually, Dad walked out of the kitchen and found me wide-eyed. Instant concern clouded his face. “Hey, kiddo! What’s up?”

I tried to smile at him, but I was sure I grimaced instead. Dad’s blue eyes studied me for a moment before he stepped to the side. Marie was peering over a simmering pot. “Hi,” I murmured awkwardly.

“Hi, Cassie! How are you? Your father told me about what happened.” She shook her head. “I know someone who could help us out. One of my patients’ parents is on the school board. I’m sure they would be appalled to hear something like that happened in their school.” She looked completely at home here, which was a bit unnerving.

“No, that’s okay.” I shrugged and sat on one of the kitchen stools, not really knowing what to do. She smiled at me before asking Dad for the salt.

She was pretty. She had short, brown, curly hair. Her skin was a bit tanner than mine, and her dark brown eyes were almond shaped. She didn’t use makeup and was usually dressed in jeans and loose blouses.

I couldn’t help but compare her to Mom. They were so different.

Mom had always been a bit obsessed with clothes. She had a bad habit of buying too many. At the end of her life, half her closet was probably new. She stopped fussing around with her appearance as the cancer took over her.

It was so weird seeing Marie cooking with Dad. I noticed how warily he looked at me from time to time. Not wanting to just sit there staring at them, I got up and offered to set the table. Dad smiled thankfully as I went to the cabinet and took out the plates.

“What are we having?”

“Marie is making us Bolognese,” Dad said warily. Bolognese sauce was one of my favorite’s dishes, and I’m sure Dad told her about it.

“I hope you like it,” she added softly, glancing at me. My mouth went dry.
She’s really trying.

“I’m sure I will.” From the corner of my eye, I saw Dad give her a thumb-up as I finished setting the table.
Oh Dad.
I helped them out grating the Parmesan cheese as they both talked about their day and stuff.

The pasta was good. It was different than Mom’s, but it was a nice gesture. At some point during dinner, Dad asked her to pass him the salad, but he used Mom’s name. My heart stopped for a moment. My hand froze in midair while my chest constricted.

“Sorry,” Dad added quickly in a low voice.
Marie glanced kindly at him. She placed her hand on top of his and squeezed it reassuringly before passing him the salad bowl. Suddenly feeling awkward, I swallowed hard, placing the fork on the plate, gaze glued to my food.

He does miss Mom.

In a way, I knew he just didn’t want to be alone, but was that fair for Marie? I didn’t think so. Then again, they weren’t asking me what I thought, and I needed to respect whatever they decided about their relationship.
Swallowing hard, I took a sip of water and continued to eat in silence.

“So, your Dad told me that you have a new boyfriend?” Marie asked me all of a sudden.

My eyes turned to Dad, who was smiling at me like nothing had happened. I shook my head. “He’s just teasing me about it, but no. I don’t.” If anything, I had majorly screwed up things with Nathan.

Nathan’s kiss played in my head once again, and I stared at my food, blushing because they were both looking at me with knowing grins on their faces.

Gosh. Am I so obvious? Can they tell that something happened?

Of course not! Don’t be such a moron. Dad’s just convinced Nate’s into you.

“Did you talk to him?” Dad asked softly, and my stomach plummeted to the ground. I guessed they could see right through me.

“Sort of,” I said.

“Well, from what your dad has been telling me, he seems like a nice boy.” Marie smiled at me reassuringly.

I raised an eyebrow in silence.
Nice
wouldn’t be the word I’d choose to describe him.
Intriguing. Strong-willed. Kind. Handsome. Confusing.
I kept those to myself.

“You’re okay, though?” Dad pressed on.

“Yeah,” I stated, shifting uncomfortably on my seat. Talking about Nathan with Dad and his girlfriend—I inwardly cringed at calling Marie that—was beyond awkward. For me, at least.

Marie must have noticed because she changed the subject by asking Dad about his new faculty position. He complied and started to talk animatedly about his new projects.

I shot a small, thankful smile to Marie, who grinned back.

Since I really hadn’t done much while making dinner, I offered to clean up the kitchen as they drank coffee and watched TV in the living room.

While I lathered the dishes, I thought about dinner. Marie was nice. She was. Out of all Mom’s friends, she was my favorite. A smile was always etched on her face, and it was contagious. I even called her “aunt” sometimes. It was just weird seeing her now as Dad’s girlfriend.

After washing the dishes, I called it a night and secluded myself in my room. I checked my phone, hoping to see something from Nathan, but I had three missed calls and a few
what happened?
texts from Farah.
Once I brushed my teeth, I lay in bed as I called her. She picked up after the first beep.

“Where were you?” I could picture her staring at me with wide eyes.

“Sorry. I had dinner,” I said absentmindedly, dreading her questions already.

“So? What happened, Cassie? Did he apologize for being such a douchebag?”
I cringed.
He apologized all right.
I just wasn’t sure about what.

“Yes?”

Farah took a deep breath, calming herself. With a strained voice, she added, “Care to elaborate?”

“I—” I swallowed hard, “—he kind of, sort of—” I grimaced, “—kissed me.” I closed one eye, expecting her outburst.

“
What?
” I had to pull the phone away from my ear as she screamed. “And?”

“He apologized.” I bit my lip. “And then he left.”

I heard her slapping her forehead. “Oh my God, how thick could you both get?”

“He seemed hurt.” I sighed and closed my eyes. “And we had sort of kissed before.” I told her about the party. She listened, squealing excitedly once or twice, making me smile.

When I finished, she commented, “Well, it’s clear the guy has been obsessed with you since forever. And it kind of explains why he hates Tom, doesn’t it?”