Hopelessly Imperfect (Imperfect #1) (17 page)

“Because he’s jealous?” I stared through my window into the night sky. I had completely forgotten why he’d been mad at first. It kind of made sense, though.

“Duh!” I rolled my eyes at Farah’s response. “I love you, girl, but you are
thick
.”

“I just don’t know. I mean, why did he apologize and leave?” I glared at my reflection in the window.

“Maybe he’s not sure that you like him? I mean, have you done anything to let him know that?”

Scrunching my nose, I defended myself. “I did make Jay drive me to find him, and I kissed him back. That has to count for something.”

She sighed, annoyed. “Gosh. I don’t know who’s thicker between you two.” I snorted at that. “What are you going to do, though?”

“Try to talk to him?” I frowned. What was I going to tell him?

“You should totally kiss the crap out of him,” Farah pointed out excitedly. I chuckled. God, I wanted to.

In the background, someone shouted at Farah. “Ugh,” she groaned. “Mom needs me. I have to go, Cass. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Sure. Good night,
Cupid
.”

Farah giggled. “Night.”

I lay in bed, replaying Nate’s kiss
again
. I kind of wanted to slap myself for being so cheesy, but his blazing eyes were etched in my mind, and my stomach clenched just thinking of how he’d made me feel.

God. I was totally obsessed with him.

Dad knocked on my door. “Are you decent?” he asked before peeking his head around the door’s edge.

“People usually wait for an answer, Dad.” I raised an eyebrow as he grinned.

Opening the door, he walked into my room. “Did you have fun tonight?”

That depends on your definition of fun.
I shrugged.
He sat next to me. “Thank you for trying, though,” he said as he gazed lovingly at me.

“She’s nice.”

“She is.” He stared at the window for a moment, lost in his thoughts. “So, do I need to use my ninja skills on this Nathan guy?”

I snorted. “He’s just Nathan, Dad.”

He shrugged dismissively. “Are you okay?”

“Just tired.”

“You can talk to me, Cass. You know that, right?”

“Yes, Dad.” I rolled my eyes.

He nudged my waist. “No rolling eyes, missy.” He smiled. “Good night, sweetie.” He kissed me on the forehead before leaving.

Sighing, I looked at my phone for a moment before turning off the light and trying to sleep.

Still feeling butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

Chapter Sixteen

The night was long and boring. I hadn’t been able to sleep again. I couldn’t stop thinking about Nathan.
At all.
I kept replaying his kiss over and over.

Tiredness enveloped me. I was just too exhausted to go running in the morning. I had barely slept a couple of hours when Dad woke me up, startled I’d slept in.

“Honey, you have twenty minutes to get ready! I’m sorry for waking you up this late, but I thought you were out running.” His brows were creased as I blinked at him.

Shit. Twenty minutes!
Rubbing my eyes, I got up and started to run around my room, trying to get ready as fast as I could. I washed my face before putting on faded jeans and a red tank top. My old converse were lying on the floor, and I laced them up before walking downstairs.

Dad was waiting for me with a brown paper bag in one hand and a peach in the other. “Eat up. I’ll drive you today, okay?”

I nodded thankfully, grabbing the peach. After eating it, I brushed my hair and put it up in a messy bun while Dad drove to school. Luckily, we reached it only a couple minutes later than I usually did.

“Thanks, Dad!” I pecked him on the cheek before hitching my backpack over my shoulder.

“Love you!” he added, waving at me. I waved back as he drove away.

It was Friday already, and everyone was talking about Tom’s party. As I reached my locker, I saw Farah chatting with Anne. They were both really pretty. One was blonde and had baby-blue eyes and this sort of cute-geek outfit, while the other was red-haired and was wearing something much more hip-hop. They smiled as I came closer.

“Hey, guys!”

Farah watched me in concern. “Gosh. Did you sleep at all?”

“Why?” I opened my locker to get the books I needed.

“You look like crap,” she stated sincerely. “No offense,” she added sheepishly.

I grimaced. “I didn’t bring any makeup to school!”

Anne snorted. “Don’t worry, I’ve got loads if it.” We walked toward her locker, which happened to be next to the girls’ bathroom. We went inside, and Anne took out a large bag and placed it on the sink. Then they looked for things that could work with my skin tone. She gave me some concealer, and I applied loads of it. Trying to look more presentable, I also put on some blush and gloss.

They both studied me for a moment before Anne blurted out, “You look ten times better, Cassie.”

Warily, I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. I did look changed. Even though I knew they were talking about my blushed cheeks and all, I looked completely different than a few months ago. My eyes were still encased with dark circles. However, they were no longer heavy with sadness.

I wasn’t dressed sloppily in whatever I grabbed out of my closet, yet I wasn’t dressed up like the fake girl I’d pretended to be for the last two years. I was dressed as
me
. The real me.

And those dark circles? They weren’t there because I was hating myself. They were there because I couldn’t stop thinking about Nathan. The change was sort of refreshing.

However, I couldn’t but feel guilty for being unable to sleep because of a boy instead of thinking about Mom.

She wouldn’t mind, though
. I know she wouldn’t.
If she was here, with me, she’d be thrilled and even more excited than Dad. Still, knowing that didn’t make me feel any better.

With a heavy heart, I pressed my lips together. “Thanks.” I started to pick up the mess we’d made while Anne watched me quizzically. Farah helped me out and gave me a sad smile without saying anything.

Anne and I walked to our class in silence. I knew she wanted to know what had changed in me lately, but thankfully, she was keeping every question to herself. Dreading the moment we would cross through the door, I felt my feet slow down as we approached our classroom. We finally arrived, and as Anne took her seat on the front row, I walked to my seat, biting my lip.

Nate was there. He was gazing through the window into the distance, completely absorbed in his thoughts. My heart raced as I took a seat. I turned around immediately, already a bit flushed from being near him.

“Hey,” I murmured uncertainly.

His gray eyes snapped to me. He nodded as I swallowed hard.
Gosh.
He looked troubled. Hurt, pain, and desperation flashed through his eyes.

I fought the urge to reach out for him, trying, in a pathetic way, to make him feel better. Instead, my lips parted as my eyes roamed all over his face and stopped a little too long on his lips. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I remembered how amazing his kiss made me feel.

Flustered and blushing, I turned around while the teacher greeted the class.

He was giving us a pop quiz, and I totally freaked out because during the last classes, I had no idea what was going on. The teacher started to pass around a sheet with two exercises as I looked at Anne. She was smiling confidently and was completely ready.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

I didn’t want to fail this class! Especially now! It was my only class with Nate!
Ugh.

Nate whispered from behind me, “Just remember the three rules I gave you, Taylor.”
What rules?
I couldn’t remember anything but the incessant pull I was feeling toward him!

I was so screwed.

Nate groaned and in a scratchy voice, said, “Mr. Brown? I’m not feeling well, sir. I think I have a bad case of stomach flu. And I don’t think I can get up.”

Our teacher’s eyes widened. He had a known aversion toward germs. “Go to the nurse, Nathan!”

Nate huffed, “Can someone help me out, though?” He got up and leaned on my desk, “Like now, sir?”

“Yeah, just leave the classroom already!”

Nate smiled at me before grimacing at the teacher. He leaned on me as we walked through the classroom. Anne shook her head knowingly as we passed her. As soon as we were out of sight, Nate straightened up and picked up his pace, leaving me behind.

“Nate!” I whisper-yelled, looking at both sides of the corridor to make sure we were alone. “Thank you!”

He didn’t stop or turn to look at me. He just continued to walk toward the back exit. Not sure if it was the wisest thing to do, I followed. As I approached the door, I could already sense the distinctive smell of cigarettes.

“You shouldn’t smoke on school grounds, Rivers.” I raised an eyebrow as I closed the door behind me.

“Technically I’m not in school.” He blew another puff of gray smoke. “And what are you doing here?”

My stomach clenched at his angry tone. “Where could I go? I’m helping you, right?”

He shrugged while looking to the side. “Maybe you should go to your boyfriend,” he murmured while playing with his cigarette.

“Is that why you’re mad at me?” I tilted my head as he finally gazed at me.

“I’m not mad,” he muttered annoyed, looking away. I snorted at that. His eyes cut to me and he had to press his lips together tighter, but I knew he was suppressing a smile. “I’m not,” he added stubbornly.

Leaning on the brick wall next to him, I wanted to tell him I remembered what had happened at Sean’s party, but no words came out of my lips. Instead, I heard myself saying, “I don’t think I’ll be able to pass calculus this year.”

“You just need to practice.”

I bit my lip. “Would you help me out?”

He tensed, then threw away the cigarette and crushed it with his boot in silence. “I’m not sure I’d have the patience.”

My stomach plummeted to the ground.
He’s brushing me off.

Sighing, I glanced at the door. “Thank you, Nate. For saving me—” I blinked rapidly, “—
again
.”

He shook his head, not really looking at me. “I hadn’t studied for the quiz, anyway,” he commented dismissively.

“I wasn’t talking about the quiz.” I moved closer to him as he finally glanced at me. Shyly, I kissed him on the cheek, “Thank you
for everything
.” His lips parted, and his gray eyes bored into mine. “If you change your mind about tutoring me, you know where to find me.” I placed my hands inside my hoodie’s pocket and walked away.

I didn’t know how to tell him I remembered what had happened at Sean’s party without sounding like a complete moron, but I did want to let him know I was thankful for every little thing he’d done that had changed my life.

Because he had saved me.

He’d been a friend when I most needed one, and he understood me like no one else did. It pained me to see him hurt. Mostly because I knew I had hurt him.

That seemed to be the constant in my life. Me hurting people.

The rest of the day passed in painful slowness. He was on my mind all the time. Finally, school finished, and I was sitting on the sidewalk waiting for Dad to pick me up. In the distance, Chris, Jay, and Nate were talking. Nate’s eyes turned my way just before Tom stepped in front of me. Blocking Nate’s view.

Effing great.

Annoyance washed over me as he grinned
.
“Hey, gorgeous!” His dark blond hair was swept to the side, and all I could think was,
Beiber is so out, dude.
“At what time should I pick you up?” I cocked my head trying to figure out what was he talking about. His brow furrowed. “My party, remember?”

How could I forget about it? It was the exact reason Nate was so worked up.

“Sorry, Tom. Dad grounded me.”

“Seriously? Maybe I could talk to your Mom. She’s really cool!”

My breath caught in my chest. He didn’t even realize Mom was dead. That just proved the guy had no idea who I was or what I’d been through. Still, a large lump formed in my throat. Swallowing hard, I shook my head. “Dad’s not changing his mind, sorry.” I stood up and instinctively glanced behind Tom to where Nate was. They were still there, but Nathan’s hands were clenched in tight fists and, he was looking to the side.

Tom’s jaw clenched. “So you’re not coming?”

“No.” I bit my lip. “Have fun, though.”

Tom’s eyes blazed. I’d never seen him look like that. For a moment, a sneer played across his face. I took a step back, creasing my forehead. With a vicious look in his eyes, he took a step closer to me. “Are you dating Rivers?” he voiced through clenched teeth.

My heart started to hammer. I had a really bad feeling about all this.
“I told you I’m not dating anyone,” I murmured, tightening the hold on my books. This was not the Tom I knew.

His temper subsided as he gave me a sly smile. “Well, to be honest,
we
never dated, but I’m up for hanging out, you know?” He took another step closer, towering over me.

Uneasiness filled me. My left hand started to press on the scar on my other wrist. “Huh.” I didn’t know what to say to that. I was definitely not expecting it. “But you are kind of dating Marissa, aren’t you? I mean, she’s totally into you.”

He shrugged. “But she’s not as interesting as
you
.” He raised an eyebrow.
Oh shit.

Dad’s horn scared me. Nevertheless, I was so grateful. His timing was impeccable. “Got to go!” Tom leered as I walked away.

“Hey,” I murmured as I hopped inside Dad’s car.

His blue eyes narrowed. “Was that Tom?” I nodded. “Is he causing you any trouble?”

“I hope not.” I bit my lip as Dad drove away. When I looked back at Nate and his friends, he was looking our way, and he didn’t seem happy.
Ugh. Great.
Sighing, I leaned against the headrest.

“Everything okay, kiddo?” Dad asked, watching me out of the corner of his eye.

I shrugged, not answering. I really had no idea.

“Are you going to wait for me as I talk to Amanda?” I blurted out a moment later.

“I’m going to meet with one of my students.” A small smile appeared on his face. “And I was thinking of taking you out for dinner.” He glanced at me for a moment.

“That sounds great, Dad, thanks.”

He nodded, clearly pleased.

The car stopped in the same spot where Nate had parked his car last week. We went our separate ways as I admonished myself,
Stop thinking about him, damn it.

Amanda was waiting for me at her office door. You could already smell the vanilla incense she had lit. Her brown hair was pulled up in a loose ponytail, and she was wearing a colorful blouse. I liked how bright she always looked. She smiled and gestured for me to come in. “I made you some tea, Cass.”

My blue couch looked inviting this time, as if it were waiting for me with open arms. “Thank you.”

She dismissed me as she sat with her legs crossed on her sofa. “So, why did you stand me up yesterday?” She raised an eyebrow, completely amused.

I grimaced. Sighing, I told her everything that had happened from the moment I stood up for Tom and how Nate got angry to the moment he kissed me. Even how he acted today at school. She listened with an expressionless face while sipping her tea once in a while.