Authors: Marissa Monteilh
Venus snapped back into reality. “I miss her.”
Mercedes gave her sister-in-law a direct look, with her jaw slightly dropped and her eyes fully expanded. She caught herself and gave a quick blink, snapping back from Venus’s story. “Wow. All this time I had no idea.”
Her shock was apparent to Venus. “You know what, Mercedes? I know all of that sounds weird.”
Mercedes played it off. “No, it just comes as a surprise, that’s all.”
“And Mercedes, I’m not gay. I was just curious. I felt safe with Fatima.”
Mercedes put her hand up. “I didn’t say a word.”
Venus glanced up toward the sky. “It’s haunting sometimes, Mercedes. I made a decision to go forward with that evening. But one thing that Claude never did was touch me. We just did it for him. And then I ended up going forward with my other promise.”
“Yes, you did. And you lived up to it. I guess one shouldn’t knock others for what they do. Unless you’re put in that situation, you really cannot judge anyone.”
Venus seemed to be in a daze, as though she no longer heard Mercedes’s response. She fiddled with the gold bangle on her wrist. “At times, I can still smell her scent. She had this earthy, Egyptian musk oil she’d wear morning, noon, and night. I think it kind of seeped into her brown skin like maple syrup in a pancake. I smell it in the house, in our bed, in her car, on the towels, even on Claude sometimes. It’s the weirdest thing.”
Mercedes still could not hide her taken aback look, but seemed understanding. “Wow, girl, that’s pretty deep. I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. The two of you just need to get away and talk this out. I know Claude doesn’t have any regrets, not about marrying you anyway.”
“Mercedes, you know he misses her. He won’t admit it but, I’m not even sure he sees me as someone he loves. I think since I’m the next best thing, he tolerates me. And I think he feels comfort in knowing that I knew her so well, unlike anyone else. I think it was easier for him to marry me than to start dating and looking for a new woman. But I know he’s not happy.”
Mercedes’s supportive, understanding nature shifted into fifth gear. “I agree that he hasn’t been the same since she died. I also think that Claude’s not happy with himself, or with me and Mason more than anything. He just wants his way with his mom. That’s the only dilemma I think he’s been working through right now. But now that she’s living with you two he should be a little more satisfied.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“You two need to just drive down to Laguna Niguel or San Diego and stay in a hotel for the weekend. If Claude is cool with it, I’ll watch Mattie and Cameron. Just do something to get this whole thing out and discussed. Especially so that your relationship with Cameron can heal. Maybe even take him along. But to be honest with you, I don’t think Cameron would have liked any woman his dad ended up with.”
“I’m not so sure. I think he just despises me because I was like his auntie before. Plus, I know that every time he looks at me he sees his mom. He’s going through a hell of a time.”
“He’ll be fine, Venus. A lot of kids hate who their mom or dad marries. And I’m sure he’s going through puberty, you know. That’s the real trip.”
Venus mustered up a smile. “That gangly boy is growing like a weed, isn’t he?”
Mercedes returned with a smile of her own. “Tall and thin just like his mom.”
Rashaad, with a basketball under his arm, entered the backyard with Cameron, running until they stopped just next to Mercedes’s side of the patio table.
“Speaking of,” Mercedes said.
“Mom, can we walk up to the park and shoot hoops for an hour?” Rashaad asked.
“Sure, baby.” Mercedes glanced at her watch. “Be back by six-thirty though so we can eat, okay.”
Rashaad hugged her. “Okay. Bye, Mom. Bye, Auntie Venus.”
“Bye.”
“Bye, Aunt Mercedes,” said Cameron. The two ran out the side gate from the yard, exiting to the sounds of a dribbling basketball.
Venus glanced at Mercedes as if to prove her point. “Enough said.”
“Shoot, girl. You guys had better get that boy straight. I should have told him to ask you.”
“No. It was up to him to ask. It’s cool that you gave them permission. I’m almost oblivious to his disses. It’s like I’m invisible.”
“One day, he’s going to do something that will get on your very last nerve and you’re going to go straight off on that boy.”
“Yeah, well, in the meantime, I’ll let his dad check him.”
“Oh, no. You will surprise him one day. I can see it coming. I say you belt that little nigga in his belly and make him respect you.” Mercedes laughed.
Venus denied it. “Oh, no, I would never hurt that boy.”
“So you run around being hurt and disrespected instead, huh? Wake up, Venus. You need to put your foot down.”
“Thanks. Who knows what will need to happen to make him come around. Maybe one day he just will.”
After dinner, Rashaad approached his dad who had made his way to the living room sofa. “Dad, can Cameron spend the night after we go to a movie, please?” Cameron walked out of the kitchen with Star.
Mason replied, “Sure son. Make sure it’s okay with Venus though.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Rashaad said.
Cameron remarked to Rashaad, “I’ll call my dad and ask him.”
Venus and Mercedes joined Mason and Star in the living room.
“So Claude is keeping an eye on Mom, huh?” Mason asked Venus.
“Yes. I think maybe I’ll make dinner next time if it’s okay,” Venus said.
“Fine with me,” Mercedes replied.
“Me too,” Mason agreed without making eye contact.
Star snuggled into the sofa, hugging a yellow throw pillow. She stopped her channel surfing at an episode
of Friends.
“Hey, Star. How about an after dinner song?” Mercedes suggested.
“Oh, Mom. I’m stuffed, I can’t move anything, even my fingers.”
“Oh, Star,” Mercedes urged, “come on and play that new song you learned last week in school.”
“Which song was that?” asked Mason.
“It was the ‘Toreador Song’ from the movie Carmen Jones, wasn’t it?” Mercedes said.
“I love that song, please play it for us,” said Venus, who could sense her reluctance. “If not now then later, okay?”
Mason told her, “Girl, you know you need the practice. Get on over there and play that piano. All of those lessons you’ve had. One day you’re going to beg people to come and hear you play.”
“Hopefully she’ll have a full house. Go ahead, baby. It’ll just take a minute,” said Mercedes.
“Oh, okay, Mom.” Star strolled over to the piano with her head hung low. She pulled out the seat to the white upright and positioned herself smack dab in the middle. She cracked her long fingers and looked down to view the position of her feet over the pedals. Star placed her fingers in position, took a nice deep breath and then began to play.
Mercedes, Mason, and Venus sat in complete silence, absorbing every keystroke and each sway of Star’s shoulders. She moved along with the melody as if she were one with the piano. Star swayed left to right, hitting high notes and low notes, looking like she was part of a symphony at the Hollywood Bowl. Her gift was
obvious, yet perhaps unappreciated in her own eyes. But to those on the outside looking in, this was a gift from God, the essence of one making use of talents and abilities sent straight from above. Her skill could not be denied. Star had a true future as a professional pianist.
Star finished the last few notes with a good, strong pounding of the keys. She immediately stood up and headed straight to her room.
“Hold on, baby,” Mason said as the family began to clap. “You must give your audience a chance to show their appreciation for your hard work. It is only right that you turn to them and bow.”
Star stopped with her back to the applause. “Daddy, it’s been a long time since you’ve heard me play, huh?”
“Yes, it has and you’ve improved so much. That was perfect, baby girl.”
“Thanks,” she said, turning around with a fake smile, looking at her mom and Aunt Venus. She proceeded to her room with her mom on her heels.
“What’s wrong with you?” Mercedes closed the door.
Star threw herself down on the bed. “Daddy acts like he’s the reason I’m so good.”
“No, he doesn’t. He just wanted you to enjoy the accolades.”
“No, that’s his style. He has no idea how I got so good because he’s never around. Now he’s going to try to teach me to stand around and take in the fake attention like he does.”
“Star. Your dad gets that attention all right, but that’s part of his profession.”
Star sounded like she wanted to cry. “I’m not doing this for appreciation from the outside. I do it for my own satisfaction. It’s an escape for me. It just felt weird playing for him, or playing for anyone. I don’t mind when I’m with my teacher, or around you. But Mom, please don’t make me do that again.”
Mercedes sat next to her and gave a one-armed hug. “I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t realize you felt that way. But if you want to make a living at playing the piano, you’re going to have to get used to playing in front of groups of people. Those are the people who are
going to pay to hear you play. Those are the people who will determine how much money you make depending upon their demand for your music.”
Star stood up and looked up at the ceiling. She didn’t shed a tear. “I don’t want to do this professionally. I do it because I’ve been playing since I was three. Because Grammy taught me and it was fun then. Now it’s not.”
“Are you saying you want to stop playing, Star?”
She took a step toward her mom and gave an eye lock. “I want to go away to college, to Spellman or Howard. I want the piano to get me there. I want a scholarship.”
“Even if that doesn’t happen, you know you will go to college. Your grades are excellent and you know the money is never going to be a problem.”
“I don’t want Daddy to pay for me to go. I want to earn my way.”
“Star, now come on. I thought you wanted a scholarship to the Shepard School of Music at Rice University. You said you wanted a Doctor of Music Arts degree. At least that’s what you told your music teacher last year.”
Star sat back down next to her mom. “Mom, I told her that because I want them to help me get offers. I want to be a clothing designer like you were.”
Rashaad yelled from the hallway. “Mom, we’re about to leave now. Venus is taking us to the movies and then we’re coming back home.”
“Why isn’t your dad taking you?”
“He said he’d be right back.”
“See how he is,” Star said, leaning back and hugging a large stuffed animal. “And I miss Grammy already.”
“I’ll ride with you guys,” Mercedes yelled to her son. “Star, we’ll talk about all of this later.”
“No problem, Mom. I’ve got a good three years before I graduate.”
“Stop it.” Mercedes stood up. “Star, you start thinking about whether or not you’re really set on what you say you want to do. When I was your age, my plans changed every month. I’m behind
you in whatever you choose. We’ll give you guidance, but it’s your life, baby. I’ll be back in a minute.”
“Okay, Mom.”
“Bye, Star,” Cameron and Rashaad yelled together.
“Bye,” Star yelled back.
Mercedes met up with the boys in the hallway. “What was that all about, Mom?”
“Just go on ahead. And who said you could go to the movies?”
“Dad did.”
“Then he should have taken you,” Mercedes said, walking ahead of the boys.
Mercedes called Mason on his cell and told him to pick up the boys at 10:45 from the Magic Johnson’s theatres in Baldwin Hills. By the time the fellas all got home, Mercedes was in her office, surfing the net and answering e-mails. Mason went into the study to talk on his cell phone. The boys chilled in Rashaad’s room, which was filled with Lakers memorabilia, lava lamps, and black light posters.
Cameron looked around the room before picking up the video game control. “This house kind of reminds me of my mom. I think because this was the last place she was alive.”
“I wondered about that. It doesn’t bug you to be here?”
“No, it’s cool. I’m not trippin’ off of that.”
Rashaad gave a look as though be wasn’t buying his cousin’s answer. “Man, what’s up with you and your stepmom? You two just don’t talk or what?” Rashaad asked Cameron as he turned on the Madden game.
“She’s not my stepmother. She’s just my dad’s wife.”
“I thought you two had it cooler than that.”
“She doesn’t feel like a mom to me. No one can ever replace my mom.” Cameron pressed the buttons of the controller to set up his team.
“I’m glad I don’t know what it’s like to have to deal with a new mom or dad. It’s bad enough just dealing with the ones I’ve got.”
“You’re lucky. You live with both of your real parents.”
“Do you ever hear from your real dad?”
“Man, I never even met him.”
“Do you look like him?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never even seen a picture, dude. I think I look like my mom.”
“Did he just not even try or what?”
“Mom told me he spent some time in jail for grabbin’ her and then when he got out, my mom said she had to relocate so that no one knew where we were. We got a place and it seemed like Mom worked all day and night while I had this baby-sitter named Puddin’.”
“Puddin’?”
“Weird name, huh?”
“Man, that’s what my dad calls Star. She hates it.”
“I hated her. But then after a while Venus started coming around and staying with me while my Mom worked.”
“You’ve known Auntie Venus that long?” Rashaad asked.
“Yeah, my whole life. I still can’t believe you call her Auntie.”
“She is my auntie. Was she cool back then?”
Cameron explained, “She was always cool until Mom died. Since then, she’s been smothering me and treating me like a baby. And then for her to marry my dad was too crazy, man.”
“When did you meet Uncle Claude?”
“I was little, man,” Cameron stopped for a second, putting extra energy into scoring a touchdown. “Now what, dog?” he taunted his cousin. “But, it’s been about maybe ten years or so. Me and my mom, we were always hanging out, just the two of us. We’d go for ice cream every day, sing in the car, and play checkers before bed. We had our little routines. I know she had it kinda hard because she was struggling with trying to keep a job back then. We moved a lot and I changed schools all the time. But Claude took us in and we moved into his big house. We had fancy cars, designer clothes, food, and video games. And we traveled all the time. He moved my mom and me from the ghetto to Ladera like it was nothin’. It was like I’d died and gone to heaven.”