Hotbox (74 page)

“
Sounds likely.
Merrick
is Conlon’s
responsibility
. Conlon brought him into the organization a few years ago, swearing to
Kristof
that he would do wonders for the business. And he has
, no doubt
.
Merrick
has become quite the asset and his services are unmatched.
Kristof
has never
had someone on the inside that’
s been so valuable to him. I have no doubt that
Merrick
might have had personal issues he wanted taken care of via the organization. But now that
he’s
become a little arrogant,
I think Dean’s getting a bit worried. He doesn’t want Olevsky to know his mole has become a handful.”

Again my mind was working like a criminal, and I was wondering if there was something I c
ould do with the information.

“How is Jayden doing?” I finally asked.

There was a brief pause. “I think she’s all right.”

“Why’d you pause?”

He sighed. “Well… I’ve just heard stuff.”

“Like what?” I pressed.

“Just…office gossip, I gues
s. Everyone’s saying her fiancé
dumped her
and
he
couldn’t get out of town fast enough.”

I groaned out loud.

“She’s apparently not
sayin
’
anything about it, though,” he added.
“I’ve heard she’s kind of…in zombie mode.”

My heart twisted with pain. “Is this recent news, or from a few months ago?”

“Recent, I guess. You know how she usually does a show
or two
every month with her friend?
Shawn
Mason
? Well, I heard she keeps turning him down. She won’t perform anymore.”

“Oh, Kenny.” I
released a very heavy sigh. “
I need to see her. I need to talk to her.”

“Ty, don’t be telling me that crap! You know
they’ll
wanna know!”

I sighed again. “What am I supposed to do?”

“Nothing,” he growled firmly. “Just leave it alone. You come near her and there will be hell to pay.
She’s fine, trust me
. For now you just gotta live with it.
In about a year
Olevsky’s business is gonna be done and he’s retiring, man. That is classified, my friend. Don’t you ever repeat that. When the time comes, he’ll take care of loose ends. Trust me. I just want you to stay on his good side so he doesn’t have reason to get rid of you, too. You understand me?”

It sure helped to have friends in the right places. Unfortunately Kenny was in a place he dreaded being in, bu
t, like me, he was stuck. I hadn’
t known what Olevsky’s plan was—a year—?
b
ut it made sense. Some of the changes he had been making lately completely supported this newest piece of information.

For the next week I dwelt on what Kenny said about Jayden. I hoped it was just
over-embellished
and she really wasn’t as bad off as everyone said. Gossip seemed to have
a way of getting out of hand, and
Jayden had even told me that some of the people tha
t worked with her
thrived on
spreading news
.

But the truth was revealed
when I was at work on a Friday night. I was just finishing up with a car when Kent said there was someone there to see me. My stomach instantly dr
opped
e
ven though I had no time to wonder who it
could be
because I looked up to see Matt standing there, staring at me from across the garage.

Chapter Forty

Kent
returned to his
office
, and besides Cole
organizing a delivery in the parts room
, there was no one else around us
. Matt and I just stood there, staring at each other. It was so odd to see him
t
here—someone from my “other” life—and I didn’t know how to react. It was really good to see him, but it also freaked me out at the same time. I had no idea how this was going to affect my future.

Finally I began to clean up my workspace, just to keep myself occupied. Matt slowly made his way deeper into the garage, and then sat down on a stool.

“It’s good to see you,” he finally said. He waited for me to look at him.

“How’d you find me?
” I
asked
, wiping down tools at the same time.

With a shrug he replied, “Well, I didn’t think you had it in you to stay away from a
garage
for too long. I just called all the garages in the area and asked for Ty.”

I didn’t say anything in response, but I was wondering if Jayden had thought of the same thing. I knew she was smart enough to find me if she wanted to, and since she hadn’t, I was sure she was done with me. In a way that made me feel relieved, but my heart was still broken and I didn’t see it ever healing again.

“I’m especially glad to
see you aren’t dead or anything,
”
he said. It startled me
,
like he knew about my situation,
but then he added, “Nobody’s seen you, or heard from you
,
for three months.”

I only shrugged.

He scoffed and shook his head. “What the hell’s going on, Ty? You run off,
drop
Jay like a sack of potatoes, f
or
what? For this?” he motioned around the
garage
. “To work the same jo
b,
but
in a different c
ity?” It was silent for several seconds
. “What, you’re not gonna talk to me?”

“There’s nothing to say,” I replied. “I’m not meant to be with Jayden.”

“Jesus Christ, Ty!
I c
an’t even believe you said that!
Do you even know what you’ve done, you selfish piece of
shit
? I should beat the hell out of you right now and d
rag your sorry ass back to town!
Then
you can see what you’ve done. Then you can see how bad you’ve hurt her.
Then
you can tell me
you’re not meant to be with her!
”

It was like a punch to the stomach, nearly taking the wind right out of me.
So i
t was true. She really was taking it pretty hard. Matt came all this way to track me down and rip me apart for what I had done.

“I can’t be with her,” I hardly mumbled.

He jumped up and slammed me against the wall, swearing at me again. “What is wrong with you?” he shouted. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to her! She’s not the same person anymore! She’s empty inside, walking around like there’s nothing left to her!
Why would you do that
to her
?
!
”

It was more than I could bear, and I
knew
he could see it on my face. His look changed as he studied me closely, and then he gradually let go of me. I knew I couldn’t hide it because I couldn’t even force myself to be the angry, inconsiderate jerk that I had been to Jayden. I had nothing left.

“What is going on?” he asked in a softer tone. “Ty. Come on, man… I’m sorry I- I just…” He sighed and
took a step back. There was silence
for several seconds. I couldn’t look at him
,
but
I felt him staring at me. “A
re you in trouble?”
he finally asked.

I swallowed and looked at him briefly. His face had taken on a completely
softer
appearance and I was so torn up inside. I wante
d to talk to him
, but I didn’t know what to say or what damage it would end up causing.

“Ty,
you can talk to me
. If there’s something going on… Just tell me what it is so all of this junk makes sense. If you don’t want me to tell anyone then I won’t, but just…talk to me, man.”

I released a very shaky breath. “I can’t talk to you about it
,
Matt. It would…it would put your life in danger.”

H
e gave me a very surprised look, and I instantly regretted opening the can of worms. He licked his lips as he stood there in contemplation,
and
then he took a seat on the stool again.

“Ty… Whatever’s going on
… Can you
at least tell Jayden that it wasn’t
her fault?”

My eyes flashed his direction. “Of course it’s not her fault.”

“Then tell
her
that! She thinks she did something wrong! All she understands is that you don’t want to be with her. She’s confused, man. She has absolutely no idea what happened, so you know Jay… She’s blaming herself for all sorts of things.”

I took a deep breath as I stared at the floor. Yeah, I did know Jayden, and now that
he said it out loud
, I could see her taking the blame for what happened. I just didn’t want to believe it.

“Ty, are you
really
doing drugs?”

My reaction was
instinctive
, but before I could
hide
it, Matt had already witnessed it. But I chose not to reply with words.

“Well,” he
continued. “I highly doubted it,
but you know, we all do stupid things.
But I
know
you didn’t cheat on her, Ty. I
would bet my life on that one.
I don’t know what the hell is going on, but something’s not right. Even Jayden knows, but she’s just a little…too emotional to think clearly. She doesn’t even know where to begin. And she’s got her dad raining crap down on
her about
yo
u
, and
she’s gotta listen to
Chris.
I’m the only one that she
’s
told about th
at night—you know, the girl and the drugs. She’
s pretty set on protecting you
, even though she doesn’t understand what happened. She loves you, Ty, no matter what. You gotta make sense of it all
. Set the record straight.”

What could I tell him that wouldn’t
turn into a
disaster? If I admitted that I was in trouble and he slipped up and told Jayden, what would she do to help me? I couldn’t risk fin
ding out. One thing was clear: s
he still needed to stay away from me. But this meeting with Matt had turned out to be a huge mistake. He was already tipped off about how screwed up my life was.
Maybe
I could
dig deep and
force myself to be the jerk—cause him to hate me, too—but I honestly didn’t think he’d believe me.

I felt I only
had
one option.

I grabbed a stool and sat two feet away
from him. Leaning onto my knees, I rubbed my face with my hands. “
T
hi
s is a matter of life and death,” I said quietly.
“
I’m not kidding you.
I honestly and truly cannot tell you what’s going on. That’s the bottom line, okay? It’s not just my life that’s on the l
ine;
it’s everyone I care about.
Especially Jayden.”

He exhaled the breath he was holding.

“That’s all I can tell you. I can’t be around Jay right now, and frankly, I don’t know if I ever can
be
. But Matt… You can’t tell her this, man. She’s… She’ll…” I sighed. “You know she’ll try to ‘save’ me from this, and I can’t risk that. Don’t even tell her you saw me. Please? Don’t even stick up for what I did, or even
hint
that it really wasn’t what it seemed. Please, Matt, I’m begging you. This is the only way I can protect her.”

It was silent for quite a while, and finally he took another breath and quietly swore.

“Matt, just…be there for her, okay? Convince her to move on and—” I choked on the idea and couldn’t even finish the sentence. I swallowed down the lump that had
grown
in my throat and stood up. “It really is good to see you, but you shouldn’t come back again, okay?”

He stood up
, too
. “Do you have a different number? Can I just call? Can
you
call?”

I wanted nothing more than to k
eep in touch
, but it would be too painful for me. It wasn’t even safe to talk to him because it was hard enough to hide the truth. “I can’t do it, Matt. Just give it some time, okay?”