How I Met Your Mother and Philosophy (21 page)

And when it does, it's time for a “relationship-ectomy” (told you, Barney Stinson is a Humean anatomist!). The confrontation stage marks the end of the neighborly “love,” In other, typical relationships, that would be all. In this one, there's still another step, namely fallout. Since you're doomed to run into your neighbors constantly, their opportunities to retaliate or to punish you are considerably higher than in a normal post-break-up situation. Things do not just revert to the the pre-submission scenario. What once was a pleasant and cozy surrounding has now all the attributes of a cowboy movie standoff.

In Robin's case, the punishment exacted by Curt amounts to a live outbreak on TV that puts both in a professionally awkward position. For Marshall and Lily, the penalty is being stalked by the Gerards. Even when they try to get out of the building using the fire escape, they end up with Michael and Laura waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. Yet, once again, Barney's conundrum is the most interesting. Even though there's seemingly no retaliation from Wendy the Waitress, he still gets the fallout. He naturally expects to be punished in one way or another, maybe by having his gin and tonic poisoned. The fear is terrifying. As Barney puts it, the
succession of stages in neighbor-loving scenarios is a “rule of nature,” so fallout is inescapable (even if actual retaliation might not happen).

Reciprocity is the main mechanism for enforcing cooperation in the Humean framework. To non-co-operators, people usually reciprocate with punishment (retaliation or revenge). Initiating a break-up in a relationship is an age-old example of non-cooperative behavior (or “defection,” in a more pretentious and technical jargon). What puts neighbors in a unique position to retaliate is the multiplicity of means and opportunities at their disposal, given by the high probability of future interactions. That's why the Platinum Rule has to be invented as a moral norm.

What's so cool about using this method is that we don't have to rely on the natural goodness of all bros. Even if we start from a bleaker view of human nature, moral behavior can still emerge. Another major present-day Humean, the philosopher and mathematician Kenneth Binmore, makes this point in a plastic manner: “we therefore do not need to pretend that we are all Dr. Jekylls in order to explain how we manage to get on with each other fairly well much of the time. Even a society of Mr. Hydes can eventually learn to co-ordinate on an efficient equilibrium in an indefinitely repeated game.”
⁴

Still, there's quite a bit of a role to play also for the Painter towards the end of the story. Ted (incidentally an architect) reveals that fallout is not necessarily the final step in this type of scenarios. It is, at least sometimes, followed by a ninth stage: co-existence. The grudges can melt away, eventually. Robin and Curt, the Eriksens and the Gerards are living proof for this. Even Wendy the Waitress. In fact, everybody but Barney, who's still experiencing the fallout from really “loving” his neighbor. Quite happily ever after!

Thanks to Barney

As a piece of Humean morality, the Bro Code will surely evolve. Maybe, at some point, the Platinum Rule will be overridden by too many exceptions. Be it as it may, at any given time, it will
still be based on the foundations selflessly laid out by the great thinkers who featured in our story. As modest scribes, telling this tale, it's a matter of courtesy to give the last word to the one and only Barney Stinson, because, yeah, he has another crucial point to make:

. . . centuries from now, when a Bro applies the rudiments of the Bro Code to score a three-boobed future chick, the only thanks I'll need is the knowledge that I—in whatever small capacity—bro'd him out . . . though if he could figure out how to bring me back to life, that would be pretty awesome, too. (
The Bro Code
, p. xi)

¹
We refer to Simon Blackburn. Actually, focusing on passions allows Humean moral philosophers to give highly enticing titles to their books. Another one of Blackburn's is called
Lust
.

²
Barney Stinson and Matt Kuhn,
The Bro Code
(Simon and Schuster, 2008), p. ix.

³
Robert Nozick,
Invariances
(Harvard University Press, 2001), p. 240.

⁴
Kenneth Binmore, “Reciprocity and the Social Contract,”
Politics, Philosophy, and Economics
3:1, p. 21.

11

A Tale of Two Feminist Icons

T
INA
T
ALSMA

K
ids, compared to old shows like
Leave It to Beaver
or
The Brady Bunch
modern-day sitcoms have largely moved beyond traditional gender roles. This is because we now recognize that women are capable of doing more than folding laundry and cooking dinner, and men are capable of much more than simply “bringing home the bacon.” In many modern-day sitcoms, there is much to be celebrated, especially for women who look, in some small way, to these characters as role models.

But what about one of the most successful shows on TV:
How I Met Your Mother
? Do the main characters embrace traditional gender norms or have they, like main characters in other competitor shows, such as
Community, 30 Rock
(Liz Lemon, at any rate), and
Parks and Recreation
, moved beyond those old traditions that hold us back?

When we focus on Barney, all hope seems lost. Though we've seen Barney change recently, what with his relationship with and elaborately planned engagement to Robin, his character is roughly a powerful corporate type who only values women so long as he can get sex from them. Furthermore, all three male characters have powerful, prestigious jobs compared to Lily who is a kindergarten teacher and Robin, who has spent most of her career as a ridiculous caricature.

But to dismiss
How I Met Your Mother
as embracing traditional gender stereotypes would be a mistake. Both Robin and Lily are strong characters who embody different, but equally important, feminist ideals and philosophical views. Even Ted
and Marshall show a level of complexity that tells against clear black-and-white gender lines.

The Strength of Each Is the Strength of All

Each member of Ted Mosby's gang demonstrates a personal strength unique to them. It's because each is seen as strong on his or her own that the group has such a fun, often highly comical, dynamic. And the viewer gets the impression that having such strong, admirable friends, each with strengths that the others lack, enhances the life of each of the friends. It's because they are each so strong, interesting, and unique that we, as an audience, want so badly to hang out in MacLaren's with them.

Ted soldiers on in spite of his overly dramatic, often comical, search for love. In spite of many failed attempts to find his wife, Ted remains hopeful. Barney is the typical corporate play boy who succeeds in everything he does, most notably in bedding a continuous string of women. Barney always exudes charisma and confidence. Marshall shows tremendous courage and strength in leaving a cushy corporate job to fight for a cause he believes in. And Lily is often the one who must enforce the rules of the multiple challenges, competitions and bets the others concoct, showing that the others look up to her and respect her decisions. But in many ways it's Robin's strength that out-shines all the rest. She shares Barney's autonomy and independence, Marshall's courage in pursuing difficult career goals, Ted's hope in true love and the respect of the group like her best bud, Lily. Because of this inner strength she's a character who easily embodies feminist ideals and who serves as a model for women living in the twenty-first century.

Robin as Autonomous

The most obvious way in which Robin operates as an example to modern liberated women is in the focus she places on her career. One of the loudest calls for equality that has marked the last several decades, including modern times (following the initial call for the right to vote), was and remains the call for equality in the workplace. Robin is a great example of a woman who can do whatever she sets her mind to (though she must certainly slog through some rough patches to get there) and
who can, like any man, place her career at the top of her list of priorities, if she so chooses.

In fighting so hard to be accepted as a top-rate journalist, and laughing in the face of adversity (or at least not minding when others laugh at her through the adversity), Robin demonstrates a great deal of autonomy. According to Marilyn Friedman, “autonomy involves choosing and living according to standards or values that are, in some plausible sense, one's ‘own.'”
¹
That is, an autonomous individual sets her own priorities and then lives according to them. She is not told what her place in life is or what dreams she may or may not have and follow. She is, in a word, “self-governing.”
²

Autonomy has been of such importance to women working in the feminist movement because it has been historically withheld from women and other oppressed groups. In fact, oppression often just is a lack of autonomy. In decades past, women have been unable to pursue dreams that take them out of the home. They have been unable to act on values that differ from those that society has dictated, in particular values that are different from being a good wife and mother. And women have often suffered in relationships in which they do not have a way to express themselves or that they are not free to leave. The struggle for personal autonomy is one that continues and one that Robin clearly embodies.

Robin's focus on her career is seen throughout the series. She fights through a few years working early morning shifts as the on-air talent at a local TV station. The only people who watch her are drunk college students who have turned her frequent use of the phrase “but, um” into a drinking game. Though she's often forced to work on projects that she thinks are ridiculous and even her best friends cannot stay awake to watch her, she never gives up and eventually works her way up to lead news anchor. To succeed in such a competitive environment takes a great deal of individual strength, determination and courage, all qualities that Robin possesses to the max.

In addition to being a career-oriented woman, Robin is fiercely independent in other aspects of her life. She's often seen leaving her friends to meet up with other groups of friends, showing that she can stand on her own two feet. She also finds clinginess and neediness in a boyfriend intolerable. And, though this is chalked up to her national heritage and the fact that her father raised her as a boy, she does not demonstrate stereotypically feminine traits. She is not quiet, respectful or afraid to voice her opinion. And she seems to love violence, as is seen in her favorite (or favourite!) hobbies of hockey, hunting, and bar fights and her embarrassment surrounding her past as a Canadian pop star. So, she ignores gender stereotypes and exists as her own person, whoever she wants that to be. If others think she should be something else, well then to hell with them!

This fierce independence is also seen in her lack of a desire to have a family. Many women feel that tug to be a mother, but for Robin, this is not something that she desires. It's not that she looks down on women who do (including her bestie Lily!) but she doesn't see herself as defined by her anatomy and the goals that other woman have. When she finds out that she can't have children, she's upset for a short while, but it seems that she is most upset by the fact that something external to her will has determined this choice for her, not that she actually ever wanted to make the choice to have a family in the first place. That is, she is saddened by the lack of autonomy that comes from her infertility, and not because she cannot ever be a mother. This further supports the idea that Robin is an independent woman who values her own autonomy above most everything else.

Robin as Multi-dimensional

Though Robin is a career-oriented woman, she is not one-dimensional. In fact, she is almost as much a sucker for love as is Ted. Robin seems to want both a career and a deep personal life that includes loving relationships. And there really seems no reason why she can't have it all.

Robin chooses love over her career on at least one occasion, when she is offered a job in Chicago as a lead news anchor and turns it down to stay with Don. This scene shows that while
Robin cares about her career, it's not at the cost of all else. And when Don takes the same job offer, leaving Robin behind, we view this decision as less admirable than Robin's choice. Why? Because we think that people who can balance their career and personal life are to be praised. Too much emphasis on career is not healthy nor does it lead to happiness. Happiness, as Aristotle argues, is achieved when you strike the right balance. Happiness or flourishing are not found by following any one emotion or activity to the extreme.
³
Being focused on making something of your career is a good thing, a value that Robin really embraces. But focusing on work to the detriment of all else is not desirable. The fact that Robin strikes this balance, following her dreams but also making sure her dreams are diverse and varied, shows that while she may get knocked down on occasion, she is a better person for it. In this complexity, there is a unique strength.