How to Be a Rock Star's Ex-Girlfriend (11 page)

I woke up hours later to the sound of the door opening. A quick glance at the clock on the VCR told me that it was already one-thirty. Inside I was seething, but I just wasn’t up for a confrontation. Why couldn’t he understand what was going on? I felt him come up behind me and touch my hair. When I didn’t move, he walked into the bedroom. For the next hour or so, I stayed on the couch, faking sleep again, until I was sure that he wouldn’t be awake.

Despite the problems that had crept up between us, some aspects of our life together were better then ever. When we did make time together, without band mate interruptions, we still got along extremely well. I tried to make the most of the moments that were few and far between now. I made sure that we still talked and laughed. The truth was that in such a short time we had managed to know each other inside and out. That wasn’t going to change just because we didn’t spend as much time together as we used to. And there were many times when I was sure that I was with the person that I would spend the rest of my life with.

He still seemed to know me so well. When I turned twenty-two in August, he presented me with a CD that he had made over at Dylan’s. He and the rest of the band had covered some of my favorite eighties love songs. He had even recorded an introduction to the CD, wishing me a happy birthday with all his love.

It just wasn’t worth it to rock the boat. I wanted to be with Braden and since there were so many things that I loved about him, I moved on, not saying anything about the bad things.

By this time, my parents had met and fallen in love with Braden, too. My mom was especially taken in by his charm and his genuine love for me. During our weekly phone chats, she couldn’t stop raving about how wonderful he was, and how lucky I was to have found him! It made me a little ashamed that I had waited so long to

introduce them, and that I had been nervous about even telling my mom I had a new man in my life.

When we finally made the trip to my parents’ house for dinner a few months ago, Braden was welcomed with open arms. I could tell that he really enjoyed talking to my dad and brother. Of course they talked sports and other ‘guy’ stuff. He fit in better then I did in that area, and better then I thought he would. I had never really tried to learn the lingo that went along with the games my dad watched, and I didn’t think Braden knew much about them either. But I guess some of that male bonding time over at Dylan’s was spend watching football and baseball instead of just band practice. Braden asked my brother all about his team and shared some funny stories about playing ball growing up. They even watched a few games together while my mom and I hung out together.

My family was also really interested in his band and his musical talent. We aren’t the most harmonious family, but we can all appreciate good music. I had told my mom that Braden played in a band and also wrote music for the group. After that he never heard the end of it until he brought out his guitar and played a little for all of us. Of course my family was impressed when they heard how good he was, and it was so fulfilling for him to play for people who enjoyed hearing him. I think he was a little in awe of my parents who were so supportive of their children’s dreams, whether they were playing baseball or owning a bookstore. With his family being so negative about the path he had chosen, it wasn’t surprising that he responded to my parent’s praise so readily.

Unfortunately, because they liked him so much, I had to deal with my mom’s not so subtle probes into our relationship. Was he the one? Were we talking about the future? Where did I want to get married? The questions were never ending. The only positive thing about the situation was that she never asked me anything like that in front of Braden. That would have been too embarrassing.

I put her off as best I could with half answers and sometimes by just ignoring her. The truth was that I wasn’t sure what I wanted. I knew that I loved Braden and wanted to share a future with him, but what that future held was a big question mark.

I was always the one with the loudest voice when it came to being anti-marriage, anti-fairy tale love stories. I hadn’t lost my negative outlook; it just had a softer edge to it. I was thinking about all of that in a new way. I guess falling in love will do that to you.

But in some ways, I felt like I was trying to sabotage my first real relationship. Why was I being so picky? There were certainly going to be times in life when things weren’t perfect. I was concentrating on all the bad things and forgetting why I fell for him in the first place. Sophie had even made a comment about that exact thing.

The three of us were having lunch after a one of Sophie’s many dress fittings when the status of my love life came up. Needing to get some feedback, I filled the girls in on my dilemma.

“I think you’re being unrealistic.” Sophie waved her fork at me to really make her point. “No one is ever going to be perfect; there are always little flaws that bother you. When you love a person, you learn to overlook them.”

She sounded like the wise old women, giving life lessons to two young naive girls. It was almost too much. I had to stop myself from cracking a smile.

“Oh, what are Mark’s flaws?” Cara was all innocence, as she questioned Sophie.

“Well,” Sophie took her time answering, making sure that we realized that this was serious business. “He forgets to pick up after himself. He leaves dishes lying around, empty pop cans, sometimes even his socks! But I’m used to that by now.”

“That’s his biggest flaw?” I wasn’t surprised by Sophie’s response. “That seems to plague a lot of men, including Braden. I can deal with that, too. It’s the inconsideration that had me worried. Am I really making it into too big a deal?”

“All I’m saying is that at some point, every relationship fades a little. You weren’t expecting it, but as they say, the honeymoon is over!” Sophie was so sure that she was right, and being the only one

of us that was even close to happily ever after, who could argue with her?

I thought about what she said quite a bit and it all made sense. Our relationship had been in fast-forward since the beginning, it was no wonder we had arrived at our slump a little earlier then expected. I knew that I was willing to put a little more effort into us, if that’s what it took.

So, I stopped nagging, I got back to my old life, hanging with the girls again, taking long solo walks, and reading, and relied on myself, not Braden, to make it exciting. I had forgotten how cool my old self really was.

My new attitude helped. We were connecting again. And since I was making an effort, I think Braden made an effort. Without even talking about it, he and I managed to jump our first hurdle. But there was another one, still ahead of us, lurking in the future. I wasn’t ready to bring up the problems I had, so I pushed them aside. Sometimes when I was out walking, I’d think about it. When would things go wrong again? When would Braden forget to call? Would I overreact? Would we eventually stop spending any time together at all? We would just be two people who lived in the same place and crashed into the same bed every night, never talking or touching.

By the time my walk was over, I would usually be myself again. I shut off the part of my brain that was worried and focus on all the good things we had going on. I wanted my Love Denial back. I wanted to believe that we could and would do anything, as long as we were together.

CHAPTER 11
 

“Have you seen my black t-shirt?” Braden called to me from our bedroom. “I can’t find it in here.”

“Which black t-shirt are you looking for? You have about seven of them!” I walked into the room to help with the search.

Braden looked up from the massive pile of clothes littering the floor. Somehow our normally neat room had turned into the clothing pit from hell.

“My favorite one, you know the one that I bought a few weeks ago? I wanted to wear it tonight for good luck.”

Tonight Braden and his band, Unspoken Theories, had their first paying gig. After months of practicing, and a few name changes, they felt they were ready. They were playing at Knight’s, the local night club. There was live music there every other weekend, usually bands from around the area, although every once in a while a somewhat famous band would play. Cara, Sophie, and I had gone to see Air Supply there and I knew that in the summer there was a big three day festival that Knight’s sponsored.

A few weeks ago Dylan had heard of open auditions for weekend of local music. Two bands would be playing each night, starting on Thursday and ending with the headlining band on Saturday. Of course, each band wanted that coveted last spot. It meant the biggest, loudest crowds and a slightly larger paycheck. But you had to earn it. First there was an open call, and then the call back, and then the panel of judges put the chosen few into the order in which they would perform.

Braden was on pins and needles the whole week, waiting to see if they had been accepted and when they would play. When he finally got the call, he was blown away. Unspoken Theories was scheduled to play first on Saturday night! It was quite an accomplishment for a new band.

And now the big night had arrived and with it all the added pressure of the first show. This was why I was not laughing at the fact that only that one black t-shirt would do.

“Well, I did wash some laundry the other day, maybe it’s still in the basket. I’ll go look.” I went over to it and there was the shirt, neatly folded, lying right on top. “Here you go, Sweetie. This is the one, right?”

Braden leaned forward and gave me a quick hug before snatching the shirt out of my hands. “You are the greatest! Thanks!”

“You’re welcome. Will you be all right if I head out to Cara’s now? I’m getting ready over there.”

“Okay, bye.” Already lost in his pre-concert preparations, Braden barely noticed as I pecked his cheek and got my stuff together.

“Bye. I’ll see you there.”

Things had been going well for the two of us, since my freak out and subsequent lecture from Sophie. We had never gotten back to the dreamy first stage of our relationship, but we had worked out a deal of sorts. Braden had been a lot better about leaving me a note and number, and I didn’t comment on the late nights. I knew that the band had been working extra hard to get ready for this and future gigs, so I let a few things slide.

We took the time we had together and made the most of it, but we still weren’t seeing each other very much. I told myself over and over that it was partly because of the upcoming show, they needed extra practice time, they had to fine tune their act. But sometimes that just wasn’t enough to keep me happy.

I missed him, but I loved him, and I really believed that he would succeed. I wanted him to have his dream, to make something out of his music. So what if I had to sacrifice a little of his time for him to do it!

Cara and I walked in to Knight’s a few hours later, dressed in tight black pants, high black boots, and skimpy sparkly tops, Cara’s in aqua blue, mine in hot pink. We looked exactly like what we were trying to be, rock star groupies! We didn’t always have a good excuse to dress a little trashy, so we went all out.

Knight’s was locally owned by a family with that last name. The inside of their dinner club took the name and turned it into a theme. It was dark with fake brick, crossed swords adorning the walls, and even a suit of armor or two. But despite the cheesy interior, Knight’s was a great place to eat and take in some live music. Each of us had gone there on at least one date, normally when the guy wanted to make an impression.

Even though we were technically ‘with the band’, Cara and I still had to wait in the massive line and pay the cover at the door. We were reasonably early, but the place was already overrun with guys in tight black t-shirts and girls dressed exactly like us. Sophie and Mark were meeting us here, so we moved to find a big enough table to hold all of us. If it was just the two of us, we would have probably stayed standing, but we knew that wouldn’t fly with them.

Since becoming engaged, they had become even more like two old fuddy-duddies. They rarely went out, unless it was for a quiet dinner with just the two of them. Cara and I had to beg Sophie to come hang out with us, even if it was just lunch. It was quite depressing to see one of your best friends turn into her mother, not caring about anything but wedding plans, social engagements, and Mark.

But that wasn’t something to dwell on tonight. Tonight was for Braden and Dylan. When I had mentioned the event to Sophie last week, I thought that she would just blow it off. She was surprisingly insistent that she would be there, she wouldn’t miss it, anything to support the Braden and the band.

Lucky for us, there was a good sized table close enough to the stage where we could see and cheer for the guys.

“Aren’t you so excited? This is crazy; you’re the girlfriend of a rock star!” Cara was hyper and pumped up about watching the guys perform on stage for the first time. “I know the band!”

“Will you settle down already? You act as if we’re at the MTV music awards, instead of Knight’s supper club.” I shook my head at her. All her talk about being excited and rock stars, was making me weak kneed. I was so anxious for it to go well. “Of course, I’m excited, but I’m also so nervous for the guys! It’s their night, their first time playing together on stage. I think I need a drink.”

Cara laughed. “I think you’re more nervous then Dylan! He was crazy today. Nothing could calm him down!”

“And I’m sure you tried everything to get him calmed down, didn’t you? I tried the same thing with Braden. I thought it would take both our minds off tonight, but nothing worked. I’m going to head to the bar, since it doesn’t look like we’ll see a waitress for a while. Do you want to wait here and I’ll get you something too?”

“That would be great. I’m sure that Sophie and Mark will be here any minute and if we both get up, we’ll lose this table in a minute.”

“I’ll be back.”

The minute the music started, we knew Unspoken Theories was a hit. I had never heard them sound better, and the crowd was going crazy. The set they had planned to play consisted of three songs and an encore, if that was necessary. They were called back three separate times! For their last song, they played a cover of AC/DC’s
Shook Me All Night,
the perfect end of the night anthem. I felt bad for the