How to Be a Vampire (4 page)

“Not all bread,” T.J. told him. “Only
garlic
bread!”

“Garlic.” Andrew shuddered. Saying the word almost brought back that horrible sour taste.

“You've read the stories,” T.J. went on. “You've seen the movies. Vampires can't stand garlic. And now neither can you.”

* * *

School seemed to last forever that day. Andrew was glad when it was over. When he got on the bus, he walked down the narrow aisle, past his sister. She pretended not to see him. He walked all the way to the back of the bus and sat down next to T.J.

Right away T.J. started talking about vampires. Andrew tried to listen. But he'd had a hard day. And he'd been up late the night before. Now he could barely keep his eyes open.

“See, ghosts are the living spirits of the dead,” T.J. was explaining. “And vampires are the semi-living bodies.”

“Uh-huh,” Andrew agreed.

“Vampires can do cool things. Like turn into bats or wolves. And they have supernatural strength,” T.J. went on. “But ghosts have it easier. They don't have to eat or drink or anything.”

But vampires do,
Andrew thought.
They have to drink blood!

Andrew's stomach tightened. He felt sick. He tried to think about something else. Jason. Jason turning into a werewolf. But that only made him think about himself, turning into a—

The bus jolted to a sudden stop. Andrew and T.J. jerked forward in their seats.

“Nice one, Mr. Metz!” someone called out to the driver.

Andrew peered out the window. The bus had stopped right on the entrance to Winding Brook Bridge.

“What's the problem?” someone else called.

“I'm not sure,” the driver answered. “The engine's running. But nothing happens when I step on the gas.”

Andrew groaned. Things were
not
going right for him today.

“I'll have a look under the hood,” Mr. Metz announced.

The driver turned off the engine, climbed out of the bus, and opened the hood. After a few minutes he climbed back onto the bus. The engine started right up. He pressed down on the gas. The bus didn't move.

Everyone groaned. Mr. Metz scratched his head, puzzled.

T.J. gave a sudden gasp. He tugged on Andrew's elbow.

“We have to get off,” T.J. whispered.

“What?” Andrew couldn't believe his ears. “Why?”

“Come on!” T.J. insisted. He pulled Andrew out of his seat and to the front of the bus.

“We're walking, Mr. Metz,” T.J. said.

“Suit yourself.” The driver opened the door of the bus.

Andrew followed T.J. down the steps.

“Hold it!” Emily called. “Getting off!” She hurried off the bus too. “What do you think you're doing?” she growled at her brother. “I swear, Andrew. I'm asking Mom to double my allowance if I have to keep track of you.”

“We have to walk the long way,” T.J. said as Mr. Metz shut the bus door. “Around the pond. Andrew can't cross the brook.”

“Why?” Andrew almost yelled. “What's going on? Why did we have to get off the bus? Why do we have to walk around the pond?”

T.J. only nodded his head in the direction of the bus.

Andrew saw that it was now driving across the bridge.

“It couldn't cross with you on it, Andrew,” T.J. said.

“Oh?” Emily whirled around to face T.J. “And why is that?”

“Because,” T.J. answered, “Andrew's turning into a vampire.”

Emily clenched up her fists and glared at T.J.

“Vampires can't cross running water,” T.J. went on. “It's one of the rules. So the bus couldn't go until Andrew got off.”

“Oh, come on!” Emily cried. “Do you really think you can get me with another one of your pranks?”

T.J. shook his head. “This isn't a prank. Tell her, Andrew.”

Andrew smiled weakly. “I think it's true,” he told her.

“Oh, right,” Emily scoffed. “My brother, the vampire.”

The three of them began walking around the pond.

Andrew didn't feel much like talking. And even after his big lunch, he was hungry. He checked the pockets of his jacket, hoping to find something to eat. He fished out an old chocolate cookie. He started nibbling on it.

T.J. and Emily, meanwhile, kept up a steady argument about whether Andrew was or wasn't turning into a vampire.

When a black Labrador retriever began following them, Andrew didn't think much about it. When that dog was joined by a few more dogs, it didn't seem that odd.

Then one of the dogs started barking.

Andrew turned. He gasped. Behind him stood a pack of dogs!

Now every dog began to bark at the top of its lungs.

“Holy cow!” T.J. exclaimed.

The dogs circled Andrew. He stepped back. “Hey, dogs,” he said nervously. “Nice dogs.”

He backed away some more. His heart beat hard with fear.

A big yellow dog came around behind him then. It drew back its lips, baring its teeth. A low growl came from its throat.

“Stop!” Emily screamed at the yellow dog. “Beat it!”

The yellow dog only curled its lips in a snarl.

It never took its brown eyes off Andrew.

“T.J.?” Andrew called. He backed up some more. “Help me!”

“Your cookie!” T.J. called. “Maybe that's what they want.”

Andrew tossed what was left of his cookie to the yellow dog.

It dropped to the ground. The yellow dog only growled louder, its eyes fixed on Andrew.

“Go home!” Emily yelled over and over. She swung at the dogs with her backpack. But they easily ducked away.

“Get, dogs!” T.J. cried. “Go attack somebody else!”

The dogs circled more closely around Andrew. They drove him back. Away from T.J. and Emily.

“T.J.?” Andrew cried again. “Why are they doing this?”

T.J. yelled something.

But the dogs were barking. Barking was all Andrew could hear.

Dogs ran at him from every direction now. They kept coming. Dozens of them, all barking like mad.

Andrew broke out in a sweat. He'd never been so scared.

The dogs barked crazily, their faces twisted with hate.

Their angry eyes glared up at him.

Their white teeth glistened. They snapped at him.

He was beyond scared now. Way beyond. He was numb with fear.

The yellow dog leapt toward Andrew. Reared up on its hind legs, slamming into Andrew's chest. Knocked him to the ground.

Andrew put an arm up to protect his face.

“Help!” he cried as the dogs closed in over him. “Help!”

A
ndrew could hardly breathe. Not with the dogs
churning over him. So many of them! Barking and yapping. Drooling and licking him. And
the smell. The overpowering odor of dog breath. Andrew squeezed his eyes shut. He was
about to be torn limb from limb!

Then the barking stopped. The yellow dog gave a piercing howl. As if it
were a signal, the other dogs backed off. They ran in every direction, back where they
had come from.

Emily and T.J. rushed over to Andrew. They knelt down beside him.

“Are you okay?” Emily asked.

Andrew nodded from where he lay on the ground.

“Did they bite you?” she asked.

“Of course they didn't,” T.J. said knowingly.

Andrew got to his feet. He brushed himself off. “They just sniffed
around mostly,” he said. “And licked me.”

Emily shook her head. “The dogs around here are usually so
friendly,” she said. “I've never seen them act like that.”

T.J. folded his arms across his chest. “This is more proof,”
he told Emily. “Andrew
is
turning into a
vampire.”

Emily glared at T.J. “This had nothing to do with vampires!”
she shouted. “But something's going on. Something strange.” She turned
to her brother. “I mean, why did the dogs go after only you, Andrew? Why not me or
T.J.?”

Andrew shrugged.

“Because dogs know vampires are their masters,” T.J. told her.
“Count Dracula called wolves and dogs Children of the Night.”

“T.J.!” Emily shouted. “Stop! I mean it. If you say one
more word about vampires,
I'll . . . I'll . . .”

“Take it easy, Emily,” T.J. advised.

Emily sniffed. “Anyway,” she said, “it's only
three-thirty in the afternoon. It's a little early for Children of the
Night.”

“Good point.” T.J. grinned.

“Can we get going?” Andrew broke in, his voice
shaky. “I am not having the greatest day of my life. I'd like to get
home.”

The three of them headed toward their development. Nobody said much on the
way.

* * *

When they got to the Griffins' house, Emily went inside. She ran
straight up to her room.

“See you, T.J.,” Andrew said. He started to go inside.

“Wait,” T.J. whispered. “I have to see that book
again.”

Andrew nodded. T.J. followed him up to his room. Andrew hung up his Do Not
Disturb sign. Then he locked the door.

T.J. sat down on the bed while Andrew pulled the book out of his backpack.
The black leather cover was blank, the way it had been that morning on the bus. But as
Andrew held it, the spidery writing began to show up.

“There!” Andrew exclaimed. “See?”

“What?” T.J. said.

“It's writing the title.” Andrew glanced at T.J.
“Don't you see it?”

T.J. frowned and shook his head. “I don't see
anything.”

“You don't? Look.” Andrew pointed to the spot where the
unseen hand was writing. “Right here.”

“Rats!” T.J. exclaimed. “I guess only vampires can see
it.”

“Vampires-in-training,” Andrew
groaned.

Andrew sat down next to T.J. He opened the book. The table of contents
quickly appeared on the page.

“ ‘Chapter
Two,' ” he read aloud. “ ‘Vampire
Rules.' ”

Andrew turned to Chapter Two.
Delicate handwriting began to fill the page.

“Is there writing?” T.J. asked.

Andrew nodded.

“So read it!” T.J. said impatiently.

“ ‘As a vampire-in-training,' ” Andrew
read, “ ‘you must obey the vampire rules. One. Avoid garlic. All parts
of the plant will cause you to sicken and retreat.' ”

“Now it tells you,” T.J. commented.

“ ‘Two,' ” Andrew read on.
“ ‘You cannot cross running water. You may, however, be transported
across a river or stream while sleeping in your coffin.' ”

T.J. giggled. “Guess you'll have to ride the school bus in
your coffin, Andrew.”

“Not funny, T.J.,” Andrew said.

“You should have read this part this morning,” T.J. added.

“But I couldn't,” Andrew told him. “The only
writing in the book then was Chapter One.
There
wasn't
any Chapter Two.”

T.J. rolled his eyes. “Keep going.”

“ ‘Three,' ” Andrew read.
“ ‘You will become appealing
to canines. Dogs and
their brothers, the wolves, will bark and howl at your approach. They will want to be
near you.' ”

Andrew slammed the book shut.

“Keep going!” T.J. cried.

“I can't,” Andrew told him. “The writing
stopped.”

“Bummer,” T.J. muttered.

Andrew threw the book down in disgust. “This isn't any
good!” he exclaimed. “The rules are showing up too late! I've already
had garlic poisoning. I've already had a problem crossing running water. And
I've already been attacked by a pack of dogs.” He shook his head. “If
this book is going to do me any good, it has to tell me stuff
before
it happens. Not after.”

T.J. looked thoughtful. “Maybe you're ahead of
schedule,” he suggested. “Maybe you're a super-talented
vampire-in-training.”

“Yeah, right.” Andrew picked the book up again. He flipped to
the back. The pages were blank. All blank. Andrew sighed. “I have to know
what's coming up,” he told T.J. “I have to know the rules! What if I
break one by mistake?”

“You might not survive.” T.J. frowned. “Look what that
garlic did to you.”

Andrew groaned. “There has to be a way to make the writing
appear,” he insisted. “Help me, T.J.!”

T.J. hopped up and turned off the lights. “See anything?”

Andrew shook his head.

T.J. ran to the bathroom. He came back with a glass of water. He sprinkled
a few drops on a page.

Andrew squinted hard at the book. “Nothing,” he declared.

“I know! Get your mom's iron,” T.J. suggested.

When Andrew returned with the iron, T.J. plugged it in. He turned the dial
to the lowest setting. “We don't want the book to burst into flames,”
he said as he ran the iron over a page.

Andrew stared at the book.